by Kathryn Shay
Your fault. You made your choices.
When she arrived at her apartment, she changed into running gear, and despite the fact that it was a cold January day, she hit the pavement. At least the streets were clear of snow.
The frigid air slapped her in the face, but it felt good. It sobered her. She blanked her mind until she hit the zone, and kept running. Only when she realized she was getting too cold, she headed home.
Damn, damn, damn.
All she wanted was to call Gideon, invite him over. But right now, he was at the family dinner. And she’d cut off her arm before she went to the Casellas.
Instead, she settled for a hot bath and afterward, she fell into bed for a much-needed nap.
* * *
This was the first family dinner Derek and Ali had come to as newlyweds, since they’d taken a honeymoon after the new year. Sitting across the dining room table with them, Gideon watched them act like, well…newlyweds. They gave each other secret smiles and long, loving looks, like the ones he and Lisa had given each other. He wondered briefly if he and Anabelle would do the same if they were together.
Shit!
“It’s nice to be together,” Mama said as they finished grace.
Rafe touched her arm. “It is.”
“Let’s dig in.” The ham, covered with pineapple glaze, sugary sweet potatoes and peas and corn used to be Gideon’s favorite meal. But he couldn’t enjoy the feast today. The kids, who were seated at a table that jutted into the living room, seemed to be getting along, which was a blessing. Maybe his talk with Carina upstairs had helped her some, because she was particularly engaged.
The twins popped up. Always smiling, Mikey asked, “Can we go? We’re done.”
“Wait a sec, guys,” Cory told them. He looked to Gideon. “We got a movie marathon going. Grandma says we can all stay overnight since it’s a school holiday tomorrow. Can we, Dad?”
“You want to, Cassie?”
“Uh-huh. I can stay up with the big kids.”
“Carina?”
“Yeah. Everybody likes superheroes. I’m cool. But I can help clean up right now.”
“No, sweetheart, you can go back to your movies.”
The children scooted away.
Carmella shrugged. “The little ones will zonk in sleeping bags before the marathon is over.”
“I’m glad Carina wants to stay.”
Judd clapped him on the back. “We’ll make sure she’s happy.”
They brought their plates out, cleared the remnants of dinner away, then got coffee and sat back down.
Ali asked, “Hey, Jules, where’s Anabelle? Mama said she invited her.”
Gideon frowned.
“She was planning to come, but then this hot trainer from the Y asked her out for brunch. It’s the only time they both had off.”
Gideon’s mug hit the table too hard. “She’s got a date? Since when?”
Silence.
Rafe, Seth and Derek exchanged looks. Meaningful looks.
Kate picked up on it. “What’s that all about?”
“What?” Rafe was too quick to jump in.
“Those looks.” Julianne this time.
Ali noticed, too. “They know something we don’t know. Even Derek.” She gave him a fake-stern expression. “Are you keeping something from me, husband?”
He cleared his throat. “Um…yeah.”
“Shut up, Derek.” Again, Rafe spoke abruptly.
Gideon tensed. Whatever they knew, he hadn’t been let in on. “No, let’s all hear it. The three of them know something they haven’t shared with us.”
Mama and Judd frowned. Mama said, “Spill, boys,” like she used to do when they were little.
Rafe took Kate’s hand. She yanked it away. So, he focused on Gideon. “I, um, saw you coming out of Anabelle’s room the morning after the wedding.”
“What?”
“What?”
“Seriously?”
Gideon tried to rein in his temper, but he felt his face flush. “That’s none of your damned business.”
Kate slapped her hand down on the table. “I agree, it isn’t their business. But I’m super pissed that these three didn’t tell their wives.”
“I—”
“We—”
Julianne pushed back her chair. “I’m mad, too.”
Ali glared at Derek. “How did you find out?”
“Rafe told us that morning after breakfast.”
“Fucking shit.”
“Gideon, please.” Mama. “Not at dinner.”
Ali stood and huffed. “Our first fight as a couple. I hope you’re proud of yourselves for causing that. Come on, sisters, let’s go down in the den.” To the men, she said, “You do the dishes without our help.” She zeroed in on her mother. “And don’t you do it for them, Mama.”
“I think Judd and I will go sit with the kids.”
“Kate—” Rafe pleaded
She glared at him. “Don’t.”
“Jules, babe.” From Seth.
“Our vows included honesty, or have you forgotten?”
Derek gave Ali a puppy dog look. She shook her head, and they all left.
“Like what you’ve done?” Gideon asked.
“Hell, no.” Rafe was the ringleader. “We kept it from the girls for your sake.”
“You had no right to decide that.”
“Gid,” Rafe added coaxingly. “I’m sorry. But now that it’s out in the open, you can confide in us.”
“I’d rather piss in the wind.” He stood abruptly, too.
“If the kids ask for me, tell them I went for a walk.”
He stormed out, a feeling of betrayal so deep inside him it hurt to breathe.
Chapter 3
* * *
For the fourth time since eleven o’clock, Anabelle wrenched the covers off. She sat up in bed, against the headboard. The clock said one a.m. “Goddamn you, Gideon Casella.”
Images of their sweaty bodies entwined that night after the wedding made her skin itch. She’d taken off her nightgown because of it. But the slide of the expensive sheets against her body only reminded her of that hotel room. And what they did together.
A loud, grating noise startled her. The buzzer to her apartment. Someone was here? She threw on a sweat suit, got her gun out of the lockbox and crept to the intercom. “Yes?”
“There’s a man name Gideon here.” This from Robert, the doorman.
Shit. Still holding the gun, she slid down the wall. She couldn’t let him in. She just couldn’t. But her willpower had dissolved as the minutes ticked off.
But the buzzer rang again.
You’re an idiot, Anabelle, she told herself as she rolled to her feet and said, “Let him up.” She stowed the gun back in the lockbox, and opened the door. Soon, Gideon came walking down the hall. She stood holding onto the handle to steady herself. As he got closer, she could see his sleepy eyes, his jaw scruffy, and those wide shoulders encased in a sweat suit. She’d bet he’d thrown it on, too.
Before she could get a word out, he brushed her aside and entered the apartment. She left the door open. “I didn’t say—” That was as far as she got before he kicked the door shut, grabbed her and plastered her to him.
She was ashamed of how she melted into his body. Like she belonged there. After an explosive kiss that made her wet, and him hard, he drew away. “Talk first?”
“No.”
Never before had Anabelle been scooped up into a carry by a man. She was no lightweight, but he did it deftly.
He found the only bedroom in the apartment and set her on her feet. “We’ll take our time later, but I have to have you.”
With that he whipped off his sweat shirt, reached into his pocket, then kicked off his boots and bottoms. She hadn’t quite gotten everything off when he eased her back on the bed. Yanking at her pants, he tugged them off until she was naked. He stretched out fully on the bed. “Straddle me.”
She climbed over him, but didn�
�t take him inside her. He bent his knees. “Brace your arms between my legs and bend your knees, too.”
While she did, Gideon opened the packet with his teeth and started to sheath himself. She grabbed the condom out of his hand. Slowly, too slowly, she massaged his penis till he thought he would burst. Then she slid the sheath down, inch by inch, and she slowly rolled it to the base.
“Get up on your knees and take me inside you. Now!”
She did, and he could hear her breathing speed up. He was sucking in air like a bellows. He grasped her hips—tried to be gentle—and pushed up into her. She moaned. And moaned. Another thrust. And another. She spiraled first and he gave her all he had until he burst inside her. The world turned black when his orgasm hit.
When he was back to consciousness, he found her lying on his chest, knees still straddled, them still joined.
His hand went to her hair, one to her back to clasp her to him.
Eventually, she sat up. “I never did it like that.”
“It’s one of my favorite positions.”
“We were more traditional at the hotel.”
“Don’t you like spicing things up?”
“Oh, God, yes.”
He grinned.
“I don’t see that smile much anymore.”
“You either.”
She went up on her knees and he pulled out. “Ahh.”
He smiled. “Love those aftershocks.”
She scrambled off him and laid down on his pillow. He drew up the covers. Her head on his chest, she sighed. “What brought this on?”
“Well, for one, you had a fucking date.”
“Which was a disaster.”
“Yeah?” Mirth flavored his tone.
“I thought about you all night.”
“I think about you all the time. Like this. Even some when we’re working.” Another sigh. “But this doesn’t change anything.”
“I know, Anabelle. But I had to have you tonight.”
“I couldn’t sleep for wanting you.”
“No? Do you want to sleep?”
“Uh-uh. If we only have tonight, I don’t want to sleep.”
They didn’t. At three, they were ready to make love again. Anabelle led this time. “See that chair over there?”
“Hmm.”
“I’m going kneel in it and hold onto the back. You come at me from behind.”
“Okay, but I do my own condom.”
She laughed. Walked over and sunk into the baby-soft microfiber chair. The material slithered on her torso when she leaned forward and bent over the back.
Behind her, Gideon opened her, inched in a finger. She startled. Then he entered her hard, and with long thrusts until a deep orgasm claimed them both.
They might have dozed. At five, she gave him a sensual massage. First, she went to the kitchen and came back with heated oil. He was already stretched out on his stomach. She straddled him again, but was close to his feet. His calves were tight and perfectly developed. He groaned into the pillow as she kneaded the lavender-scented oil in. Then she moved forward to reach to his hamstrings. These were taut, well-developed. She rubbed the liquid in.
At his butt cheeks, she carefully spread the oil all over him with her fingers, including the crack.
“That’s it.” His quick turn made her tumble off him and drop the squeeze bottle. “I’d take my turn but I can’t wait again. He took her quickly from on top.
Then he picked up the bottle and began the massage on her.
Anabelle thought she’d died and gone to heaven.
* * *
Four hours later, Anabelle stood in the front of the conference room of their floor. “This is Captain Mitch Lansing, from over in Bayview Heights. He’s an expert in gang violence, which falls in our purview, but also in educating schools in how to prevent gang encroachment into the city. Which we’ll have to do at some point. We’re lucky to have him for this training day.”
Mitch had an ingratiating smile and was still easy on the eyes at sixty with his graying dark hair and fit body. “Hi, all, I’m honored to be invited here. We’ve heard about your task force and the Bayview Police Department is thinking of forming one, too.” Another grin. “Maybe you guys can return the favor and give us the benefit of your experience.
“First off, have any of you had any training in gang work?”
None.
“But we’ve all gone on calls that are gang related.” Brolin’s tone wasn’t challenging. Just informational.
“That’ll help. I’d like your feedback during my talk for today. I’m going to show you the presentation I gave to schools, but tailored to the community, too. If any of it works for you, you’re welcome to have the actual CD for educational purposes.”
Anabelle dimmed the lights and Mitch clicked the laptop remote for the computer on the table. Five young boys appeared on the screen behind him. Dressed in red and black, they sported Mohawk haircuts and sneering mouths. One guy’s face was slashed with a scar. Their hands were raised, their fingers splayed like pitchforks. Beneath the picture was a caption, Coming Soon To A Neighborhood Near You.
“Holy Mother of Mary.”
“Hell.”
“Damn it.”
Grumbling.
“I’m going to give you all a test. Use the pads and pencils provided.”
On the screen flashed several words. “You have to know how these gang members talk. I’ve put in terms I’m sure you’ve learned, but translate them all and see how you do.” They were: gang bang, copper, kingpin, home boys, gangsta, jumping in, drop the flag, biscuit, merk, hot box, mushrooms.
The group got right to work, and Anabelle was relieved.
When they finished, Mitch suggested, “Just shout out your answers.”
The team identified the first six.
“Anyone else?”
“I think dropping the flag means leaving a gang.”
“How the hell did you know that, Casella?” Radford asked.
“I’m smarter than you guys.”
TJ put in, “A biscuit’s a gun.”
“You know that because you’re a woman and you cook.” Radford often teased her. They were becoming close friends.
When no one knew others, Mitch defined them. “Merk is murder, mushrooms are collateral damage. And more are added daily.”
Then he told the team to write down their definition of a gang. When they shared their opinions, he asked for some volunteers, then put one he’d brought on the screen.
It read: A law defines a criminal gang as any on-going organization, association or group of three or more persons, that perpetrates violence. They have a common name or common identifying sign or symbol. One of its primary activities is the commission of criminal offenses.
“Next, I’d like to tell you a little bit about why kids or young adult community members join gangs, who’s vulnerable, and how to prevent gangs from infiltrating your town and school. I’ll stop for questions after each section.
“Anyone have an idea for why they gravitate to gangs?”
Radford said, “The breakdown of the family. The gang becomes their family.”
TJ added, “They’re isolated from others in school or society.”
“They’re called throwaway kids,” Mitch explained. “Throwaway young adults. Established gangs recruit young men and women when other institutions let them down.”
Mitch turned to the screen and flashed up several more indicators that made young people vulnerable: they feel they have no control or power in their own lives; their homes are places of conflict; they have no prospect of a job or a future—which is very prevalent nowadays.”
Anabelle asked, “What can be done, Mitch?”
A list of ten anti-gang measures came up on the screen. Mitch highlighted one in yellow. “The first important step is admitting there’s a potential for this problem at your school and town.” He hesitated a moment. “I know it’s not an easy thing to do.”
Next, Mitch desc
ribed how police, community workers and teachers needed to become aware of the gang symbols and paraphernalia. To break up the lecture, he stepped aside from the podium and called Anabelle up front. They demonstrated an elaborate handshake. With a self-effacing smile, Mitch rolled his eyes at the rest of them. “I know, we look foolish. But in all seriousness, that’s one of the handshakes that they use now, but any suspicious hand signals should be noted.
“Another of our recommendations is that the police department needs to work closely with the school and community centers. Statistics show that young people have more internal conflict at the prospect of joining a gang if they have a solid relationship with the local police force.”
The last five gang-prevention techniques dealt with educating teachers and parents with in-service courses, finding community role models and providing counseling for young adults on the edge.
At noon, when Mitch finished, he said, “Hey, thanks for your interest. That’s a first step.”
When the captain left, Anabelle realized she hadn’t thought about last night with Gideon during the entire morning.
* * *
They ordered out for lunch, and as it arrived, Gideon’s phone buzzed. “Casella.”
“Gideon, Kate’s in labor.” Mama sounded exited. “She’s on her way to the hospital now. We’re all headed over to give Rafe support.”
“Just a sec.” To Anabelle, he said, “Kate’s in labor. I’d like to go be with my family.”
“Sure.”
“Is it okay with the rest of you? She’s my sister-in-law.”
“Go man.” This from TJ. “Babies aren’t born much in our circle.”
Gideon headed out the door. Brolin, of all people, called out, “Let us know what happens.”
Gideon arrived at Memorial Hospital and found the family members waiting. Seth paced, Julianne flipped through a magazine without reading it, and Ali and Derek were having an animated conversation.
Mama and Judd were headed toward the elevator. “We’re getting coffee.”
