Harper and Jake unloaded Sanchez, and we rushed into the emergency room. As I hurried toward the first treatment bay behind them, I felt an unexpected comfort at being back on base; it was the closest thing I’d had to a home in weeks.
Sanchez cringed as she was gently set on an examination table. She was taking shallow, quick breaths and was clutching the edges of the table so tightly that her knuckles were turning white.
Harper slipped back into medic mode as he pulled on a pair of surgical gloves. “Zoe, hand me some bandage scissors.”
I hurried over to one of the drawers of stainless steel instruments I’d organized for him a few days before and found the scissors. After handing them to him, I hastily collected the supplies Harper would need—sutures, several sizes of surgical needles, iodine, gauze, a local anesthetic, and morphine.
Setting the tray with all of the supplies on a cart beside Harper, I watched him cut off Sanchez’s blood-soaked shirt, exposing the bullet wound in her side. The hole itself was smaller than I’d thought, only the size of a dime instead of the gaping wound I’d imagined.
Harper glanced up at me. “Zoe, she’ll need clean clothes. Can you go find some?” I nodded, and he added, “Something loose. And bring some for me too.”
I nodded again and hurried into the hallway.
Halfway down the corridor, I stopped and wondered what I should tell anyone who happened to see me in my disheveled state. I spun around and ran back toward the emergency room to ask. I slowed just before pushing through the swinging doors and could hear my friends talking in hushed tones.
“If we’re staying here indefinitely, we’ve gotta burn that place down, and soon. We can’t risk any of them finding us.” Harper’s voice sounded strained.
“Jesus, Harper!” Sanchez gasped.
“That was the local…you’ll feel better in a few seconds,” Harper told her.
I didn’t hear Sanchez’s reply; I was too focused on the knot in my stomach. Staying here indefinitely? We aren’t leaving? All rational thought disappeared. I was overwhelmed with the thought of never seeing Dani and Jason again.
Jason won’t come here. Or, maybe he would? No…he’ll want to stay at the Colony with his team.
Jake’s voice broke my chain of frenzied thoughts. “Trust me, it’s safer here.” This is his fault?
Backing away quietly, I turned to leave. I dutifully retrieved clean clothes for both Sanchez and Harper, avoiding everyone but Cooper. The Husky followed slowly behind me as I begrudgingly walked back to the hospital. Before heading into the emergency room, I stopped to steady my nerves. After a few deep breaths, I entered without making any eye contact and handed the clothes to Jake. “I’m going to find Biggs,” I lied, offering the first excuse that popped into my head, and hurried out of the room.
As I rushed across the base toward the pond, chaotic thoughts churned in my mind. I looked around at the less than welcoming scenery. Ragged, dormant tree branches reached out like withered witch fingers, beckoning me toward them. The wind picked up, whipping passed me, and I shivered, unsure whether it had been caused by the frigid gust or my outrage.
Were they even planning on telling me? It was clear that if I wanted to go to Colorado, I’d be going on my own.
I thought about my self-defense lessons with Harper and Jake.
Situation one: someone comes at you from behind…
Situation two: someone grabs you from the front…
I had a better understanding of how to defend myself, but I was no expert. I knew the chances of making it on my own were slim—I had minimal instinct and even less survival skill. Amazingly, I wasn’t scared of what might happen to me. I was stupidly determined.
As I stood by the pond, brooding, the charcoal-gray sky continued to dim and thunderclouds churned ferociously. The first drop of rain landed on my cheek, quickly followed by others. I welcomed the rain, wanting it to wash away all of my troubles, but I was too cold to stay outdoors any longer. I turned to leave…and jumped. Jake was standing almost directly behind me. I had no idea how I hadn’t heard him.
“I thought you went to find Biggs,” he said, taking a step closer to me. He seemed unconcerned by the increasing rain.
I really didn’t want to talk to him—his mere presence made me combative. “I needed some air,” I said icily.
His eyes narrowed. “Are you okay?”
His “concern” was infuriating. “It doesn’t really matter, does it?” I snapped, turning my back on him and wandering closer to the water. I didn’t want him to see the seething play of emotions on my face.
Hearing his heavy footsteps approach, I blurted, “Why didn’t anyone tell me we were staying here indefinitely? And when did you decide to stay?”
Jake’s silence aggravated me even more, and I rounded on him. He was too close, and I had to step back to avoid bumping into him. His eyes were filled with an emotion I had no interest in understanding. I pushed his feelings away and resolved to stop trying to figure him out. Unable to look at him, I started to walk away, but his hand grasped my forearm before I could move out of his reach.
“It’s not safe there.”
Oh, now he wants to talk, I thought caustically but took the bait. “It’s not safe where?”
“Colorado.”
I sensed his earnestness but was too stubborn to consider his warning. “Well, it’s not safe anywhere.” I tried to tug my arm from his iron hold, but his hand squeezed tighter.
“You don’t understand.” Jake’s voice was grave, but I barely heard his words. He was apparently oblivious to the water running down his clenched jaw, to the rain-drenched shirt clinging to his torso.
But I wasn’t. I struggled to prevent my eyes from scanning his sculpted body. My attraction to him was like lighter fluid on my fiery rage. “Of course I don’t understand, Jake. How could I? You never explain anything, and I’m sick of trying to figure you out!” I shouted.
“I’ve been there!” His words were like forbidden fruit. I straightened and awaited the explanation I desperately hoped would follow. Finally, he said, “I’m from there.” The pain in his eyes was obvious. What happened to him? Why won’t he go back?
“And that has what to do with the Colony, exactly?”
Jake’s free hand clenched into a fist. “Dammit, Zoe! I’m from Colorado Springs…that’s practically on Peterson’s doorstep. I left when all this started for a reason.”
I staggered back in surprise, and hope surged through me as I considered what he might know. “Have you been to the Colony?”
He shook his head, and my sudden hope evaporated. “No. But trust me, we don’t want to go there—especially not you.”
“Why? What happened?”
Jake hesitated, but then seemed to come to a decision. “My sister was like you…changed by the Virus. Soldiers came for her near the beginning, and she thought killing herself was better than being taken away by them.”
“The woman dying in your arms,” I whispered sadly, suddenly feeling the need to comfort him.
For the first time, his silence told me everything I needed to know. He wore grief and regret like an invisible scar—always there to remind him, to punish him.
My voice cracked as I asked, “What were they gonna do to her?”
“I don’t know, but they had guns and were ready to use them. They weren’t giving Becca a choice…and she refused to go with them the only way she could.” As an afterthought, he added softly, “She saw something, and whatever it was…it was worse than killing herself.”
Despite the rain dripping down my face and over my lips, my mouth grew dry at the thought of being held against my will…of being experimented on. Maybe I should reconsider… I wiped the rain from my eyes as a sudden realization filled me with terror. Dani and Jason are headed there…and Dani’s on her own…
“I’m really sorry for what happened to your sister, but—”
Jake dropped my arm. “I didn’t tell you that to make you sorry.
I told you so you could protect yourself. Staying here might be the only way to do that.” It was the most emotion I’d ever heard in his voice, and it frightened me.
“I appreciate your concern for my safety, Jake. I really do. And I understand why you think I should stay here, but I can’t. I have people waiting for me. I have to go, with or without you guys,” I said honestly and walked passed him, heading toward the barracks.
Questions about Jake’s past fought to escape my lips, but I held them back. I knew if I lingered to ask, to get to know him better, he might succeed in convincing me to stay.
31
ZOE
After dinner that night, I sat on a couch in the common room, basking in the warmth of the fire. I felt numb. My body was like an icebox—frozen from the inside out—my bones felt brittle, and even in a long-sleeve shirt and sweatpants, I was shivering uncontrollably. Emotionally, I was raw. The Crazies’ memories were seared into my mind, and their emotions had felt more severe and unsettling than any I’d ever experienced before. I felt fractured and exposed, and the fire provided much-needed comfort after a day of unwanted surprises.
On the floor at my feet, Cooper snoozed peacefully. He’d taken a sudden interest in me, following me around and staring at me with concerned, watchful eyes.
Focusing on my drawing, I critiqued the likeness of the pond. I was struggling, my hands and mind working disjointedly to convey what I remembered. The drawing was a weak version of the image I saw so vividly in my head—it was drab and boring compared to the life I knew hid in the hibernating landscape.
I hadn’t felt like myself for weeks, but I was having a particularly disconcerting evening. My eyelids had grown increasingly heavy over the past hour, but I resisted the urge to turn in for the night. I dreaded the nightmarish images that awaited me whenever my eyes closed. Instead, I’d nested in the corner of the couch, armed with a book, my drawing pad and pencils, and a steaming cup of Chai tea to keep my mind occupied for as long as possible. Unfortunately, thoughts of leaving the group continued to fill my consciousness.
“Hey,” Clara’s chirping voice jolted me from my restless mind chatter. She flopped down beside me, smirking as my pencil hand jumped across the page. I didn’t want an extra branch there, bitch.
Clara was one of the last people I wanted to talk to. She creeped me out, especially her bright, vivacious blue eyes—despite their angelic color, they seemed to house the soul of a devil. Her lips were too red, her smile too wide.
Sighing and attempting to smile, I looked over at her, reluctant to give her much attention. “What can I do for you, Clara?”
She situated herself comfortably beside me and analyzed my sketch. “Oh nothing. I just thought I’d come check on you.” She looked at me, mimicking the disingenuous smile I’d plastered on my own face. “You’ve been so quiet since you and the others got back…I just thought I’d see if there was anything I could do to help.”
Corralling all the patience I could possibly muster, I turned back to my sketchbook. “I’m peachy, Clara. Thanks for your concern, but I’m really not in the mood to chat tonight.” I hoped my sarcastic tone would send her on her way.
“Oh, don’t be shy.” She batted my arm playfully. “I can tell something’s wrong. You’ve been pouting since you got back from your trip into town. I can tell you’re suffering.”
I shook my head dismissively. “Well I’m sorry to break it to you, but I’m fine. Don’t worry about me.” Out of nowhere, Clara’s mood shifted, and hostility fogged my senses, even though her feigned concerned expression remained intact.
“Jake told me what happened,” she said, sounding sympathetic.
Glancing at her, I wondered if she was full of shit or if Jake really would’ve told her about our conversation by the pond. How close are they anyway? “Oh yeah? And what exactly did he tell you?” Part of me hoped he did have a big mouth, just so I’d have one more reason to get as far away from him as possible. But…another part of me felt sick at the idea of Jake talking to Clara about me at all.
At my question, her coy smile faded and her eyes hardened. Apparently that hadn’t been the response she’d been looking for. I could feel betrayal and animosity radiating from her as she resituated herself on the couch beside me.
Clearing her throat, she straightened her blouse and avoided meeting my gaze. After a moment, she looked at me with empty eyes. “Oh, don’t worry about it,” she said. “Your secret’s safe with me.”
Confused, I shifted on the couch to face her. I could feel myself getting sucked into her conniving trap, but both exasperation and curiosity lead me to ask, “And which secret is that?”
Clara’s eyes darted around the room. Her face was flushed, and she seemed extremely anxious. I had to fight the urge to make a wise-ass remark about her seven personalities. My mind reached out to hers, trying to understand her sudden discomfort, and it was an effort to reel it back in.
“Are you okay?” I asked, watching her face redden before my eyes.
“I’m fine!” She shrieked, standing abruptly. “I just hope you know he’s with me. You’re damaged goods, to say the least. I wouldn’t get too attached if I were you.” For reasons I didn’t understand, her scathing words were like claws raking down my flesh.
“Whatever,” I snapped. “I’m really not in the mood for mind games right now. Just leave me alone.”
“Everything okay?” Sarah asked as she strode up behind the couch, glancing worriedly between us.
“I’m fine!” Clara shrieked again. “Cooper, come!” When Copper only looked up at her blankly, she huffed and stomped away.
“Wow.” Sarah sat down beside me as she watched Clara stalk off. She folded her legs under her, mirroring my position on the couch. Her warmth beside me was comforting—a pleasant relief from Clara’s chilly antagonism. “She’s really got it out for you, huh?”
“Apparently,” I mused. “I’m not really sure what she thinks is going on, but she was clearly a mental patient even before all of this,” I joked.
Sarah giggled. “True.” She leaned her head on my shoulder and shifted my sketch pad so she could see it better. “Whatcha drawin’?”
“It’s supposed to be the little pond down the hill by the woods. I’ve been going there a lot lately.” I thought of Jake—he seemed to be a steady fixture there, but I refrained from adding him to the drawing.
“Oh yeah, Riley and I took a walk over there the other night. It’s sorta peaceful, isn’t it?”
I grinned at the warmth her voice held when she mentioned Biggs’s first name.
“Why are you smiling, Zoe?” Sarah blushed and looked away, calling Cooper up onto the couch. He jumped up eagerly, settling in beside Sarah.
“How’s it going with you two anyway?” I asked.
“It’s good,” she said casually.
“Good? That’s all you have to say? I saw him come out of your room two mornings in a row!” I whispered, pretending to be shocked.
Sarah only had time to giggle before Harper came in and said, “Everyone in the mess hall. We have to talk.” His expression was troubled, and he looked exhausted. I knew they’d planned on setting fire to the other hospital, but I wasn’t sure how they’d fared, especially with the rain.
Sarah and I slowly extricated ourselves from the plush couch, both of us comfy in our pajamas. Seeing Harper in his fatigues made me feel guilty for lounging around.
“Come on, people!” he called out as we entered the dining room. Finally, Dave, Tanya, and Stacey strolled in behind us with pool cues in hand, and we all sat down at one of the long, cafeteria-style tables. Harper positioned himself on a neighboring table top, one knee up with his arm resting over it. He rubbed his eyes and sighed.
“Alright, listen up…” He started by telling everyone the condensed version of what had happened in the hospital off-base and reassured us that the situation was being taken care of. Normally Sanchez would’ve led the meeting, but she was still recovering in
her room—she’d been lucky the bullet hadn’t hit any vital organs.
“Let this serve as a reminder to everyone—if we face dangers like these here, think about how dangerous it is everywhere else.”
I knew it was true, but as he continued speaking, I found myself distracted by the rain pounding against the windowpanes. It was oddly soothing, even though I knew it was only a matter of time before I would be facing the elements alone. The idea didn’t bother me as much as I thought it should have. Instead, I wondered if the combination of howling wind and torrential rain was the closest I would ever come to hearing the sound of rhythmic waves washing over the beach again—a sound I’d grown up listening to.
“Zoe, did you hear me?” Harper asked.
I looked away from the windows, surprised to see everyone staring at me expectantly. Even Jake had appeared at some point during Harper’s speech. He was leaning against the wall in the back of the mess hall. His clothes were wet, though he didn’t seem to care.
I glanced at Harper sheepishly. “Sorry.”
“I said, ‘We’ve decided to stay here for a while.’”
“I know, to wait out the winter,” I responded, knowing full well he’d meant we were making Fort Knox a more permanent home. I wasn’t sure why I was playing dumb, but I found satisfaction in making it difficult for him to break the news to me.
“No, I mean, we aren’t even sure we’ll leave then. We’ve decided to stay here…indefinitely.”
I just stared at him. Part of me was hurt because he hadn’t told me sooner. Foolishly, I’d expected more out of our friendship. But, another part of me didn’t feel much at all. “Okay,” I said, wanting the conversation to end. The longer he stared at me, the closer I came to breaking down, and I hated crying in front of others.
The Ending Series: The Complete Series Page 25
