And with that, he storms off. Leaving me to go to the rehearsal dinner as a one-woman show, and figure out how the hell I’m supposed to end this marriage.
Chapter Thirty-Six
This past week, I have woven a web of lies so tightly, I’m not even sure what’s true and what isn’t any more. Worse still, I just spat out so many lies at my mum – like it was nothing – and she didn’t question a word of it, and now I feel disgusting.
I told her Jack wasn’t feeling well, and that he was hogging the bathroom, so I needed to get ready in her room. I told her he thought it was something he ate, and that he has promised me it wasn’t a hangover after the stag do last night – apparently they went to some dodgy takeaway on their way home, and he ate something that didn’t agree with him.
Lying just comes so easily to me now.
My mum asked if he’d be feeling better in time for the rehearsal dinner so I told her I was going to check on him after I’d finished getting ready, and see if he was feeling up to it. What I did instead was pace up and down our floor of the hotel – long enough to seem like I went to check on the love of my life – before heading to the rehearsal dinner, ready to tell everyone that poor Jack had a dicky tummy and sadly wouldn’t be able to make it. However, as I walk through the doors into the room where everyone is waiting, I realise it’s not a rehearsal dinner at all.
‘Surprise,’ everyone calls out.
Confused, I glance around the room and, amid the balloons and confetti cannons everyone just fired into the air, I notice the large banner hanging on the back wall that reads ‘Congratulations Georgie & Jack’.
‘What’s going on?’ I ask my mum nervously.
‘It’s your surprise engagement party,’ my mum squeaks excitedly. ‘Well, we didn’t get to throw you one when you got engaged, so I thought it would be nice. Everyone is here – where’s Jack?’
‘He’s still not feeling well,’ I lie. ‘I told him to stay in bed. If he knew it was an engagement party, he’d probably insist on coming down.’
He probably would, because he seems weirdly attached to my family. I suppose not having any of his own – apart from Betty – and being so quickly accepted as one of our lot has made him feel like he’s actually a part of the family.
As everyone comes round and congratulates me, they all ask where Jack is. Olly and Dougie think he’s a badass after what happened in the casino, Jacob thinks he’s a good guy, my dad worships him, my mother absolutely adores him… Everyone is asking for him, which makes me realise people don’t just like him because he’s my fella, they like him because he’s a great guy. I mean, that’s why I like him, because he’s such an incredible person. And I know he’s had a tough life and that he’s spent most of his adult years alone – maybe he was telling the truth when he said he’s scared to get close to people. I felt like we were getting close, though, and he didn’t seem too bothered by that… until I pushed him away, like an idiot. No wonder he looked so scared. He finally starts letting someone in, and she sleeps with him and then promptly reminds him where the door is.
The problem is that, no matter how we feel about each other, we have to start with a clean slate. We need to get this annulment and then figure out what feelings we have – nothing can happen while this is hanging over us.
‘Gi, you got a minute,’ Olly says. ‘I want to buy you a drink.’
‘Oh my,’ I joke. ‘Something must be really wrong.’
Over at the bar, Olly grabs a glass of complimentary Prosecco and places it in my hand.
‘Oh wow, thanks,’ I laugh.
‘Enough cheek, just listen,’ he says firmly. ‘You must think I’m stupid.’
‘Obviously,’ I joke. ‘Stupid, ugly…’
‘Gi, stop it for a sec,’ he insists. My brother and I never usually have serious conversations. Suddenly I’m worried.
‘What’s wrong?’ I ask.
‘You and Jack,’ he starts. ‘You’re a joke.’
‘What?’
‘You’re not a real couple,’ he says slowly, to make sure I’m hearing him. ‘I knew something was up the first time I saw you together, in bed with a wall of teddy bears between you.’
‘We were just having a laugh,’ I insist.
‘And were you just having a laugh when you realised he was naked and quickly averted your eyes?’ he asks. ‘All the times I heard you arguing, all the times you’d both give conflicting details and forget things about each other – Mum told me you tried to feed him a food he was allergic to. She thought you did it for chocolate! But I’m your brother. I’m probably the person who knows you best in this room, and I can tell this is all fake. Don’t bullshit a bullshitter.’
I might have fooled everyone else, but I should’ve known I wouldn’t be able to fool Olly. He’s right, he is the person who knows me the best.
‘Please don’t tell anyone,’ I say weakly.
‘I won’t,’ he says, grabbing me and hugging me. ‘Is he actaully ill?’
‘No, we had a disagreement.’
‘So, you’ve been pretending to be engaged all this time?’ he asks in amazement.
‘No, no,’ I insist. ‘I was, until a couple of days before I got here. I caught John, my real fiancé, cheating on me. I met Jack in Vegas and, long story short, he said he’d come with me and help me keep up the act.’
‘Why?’ Olly asks. ‘You know we don’t care if you’re engaged or not.’
‘Auntie Di might have had something to say,’ I tell him. ‘Plus, I didn’t want people worrying about me.’
‘For what it’s worth,’ Olly starts, pausing for a second, ‘I think Jack does actually really like you.’
‘I think I really like him, too,’ I admit. ‘But I can’t get into it with him now, not until after the wedding.’
‘Understandable,’ Olly says. ‘Fliss will murder you if you cause drama on her big day.’
‘I know,’ I laugh. ‘Can I sleep on your hotel-room floor tonight?’ I ask.
‘Don’t be daft,’ Olly says, his arm still wrapped tightly around me. ‘Sara isn’t staying here tonight. You take my room, I’ll bunk with Jake. Don’t worry, I won’t tell him why.’
‘Thanks, bro,’ I say, hugging him back.
‘Any time,’ he replies. ‘I just don’t want to see you get hurt. And, like, I look at Mum and Auntie Di, and I see the mess their relationship is in, and it would break my heart if we ever ended up like that.’
I feel the same way. I don’t know what happened between my mum and my auntie. I think they were close, once upon a time, but after my gran died my auntie went a bit funny. She started spending all her time with Uncle Barry’s side of the family – it was like any reminders of her mum were too painful. My mum is the spitting image of my gran, so maybe that’s why. I feel like their disconnect is too strong now, and they’ll never really get back to being siblings. Now, more than ever, I want to make sure my brothers and I never drift apart.
My mum wanders over to us and eyes us suspiciously.
‘You’re hugging,’ she says. ‘You two don’t hug.’
‘Speaking of you getting hurt…’ Olly starts. To quash any suspicious thoughts my mother might be having, Olly gives me a Chinese burn on my arm before running away.
And just like that, universal balance has been restored.
Chapter Thirty-Seven
The room in which Fliss and Dougie are tying the knot looks like something fresh out of Jay Gatsby’s back garden. Because – of course – Fliss and her wedding planner have taken inspiration from the movie The Great Gatsby, and not the book, which is why the room the wedding is taking place in looks like something Baz Luhrmann directed. I feel like, any minute now, Leonardo DiCaprio is going to pop up, looking dapper in a suit, and raise a glass to me… I wish.
The final preparations are currently being made for the ceremony. I’m here watching because, with things still a little hostile between Fliss and me (she briefly congratulated me last night, but that
was it), once my dress was on and my hair was done, I decided to make myself scarce.
Everything is covered with flowers and sparkles – I can’t help but wonder how much this has cost them. The good news for my curiosity, of course, is that I’m sure someone will tell me at some point during the day.
Glancing down the aisle, it’s hard not to think about what it would have been like on my wedding day, looking down the aisle to see John waiting there for me. Instead, I’m looking down the aisle only to see… hang on a minute…. is that… it’s John!
Without really thinking it through, I walk down the aisle, stopping at the altar.
‘What the fuck are you doing here?’ I ask, my Lancashire accent slowly creeping back.
John stares as me for a moment, like he doesn’t recognise me. Then I remember my pretty extreme makeover, and the fact he’s probably never heard me swear before.
‘Georgie?’ he says cautiously. ‘Is that you?’
‘Yes,’ I say quickly. ‘What are you doing here?’
‘I… I thought maybe you were a cousin or someone related to you who looked just like you but… you look so different. Your hair!’
‘Yeah, it’s long and blonde and awesome,’ I say. ‘Whatever. What are you doing here?’
‘Well, I knew how important this wedding was to you, and I couldn’t let you go through with it alone,’ he says. ‘And, furthermore, I’ve realised what a terrible mistake I made. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me, and you might look different, and you might be pushing me away, but I can see my Georgie in there somewhere, and I know she still loves me like I still love her.’
I stare at him blankly for a second.
‘Aren’t you going to say something?’ he asks.
‘You done?’
‘Well, yes,’ he replies.
‘OK, I don’t like to be blunt, but I’m kind of up against it time-wise and you need to get out of there. I don’t want you here. I don’t trust you. I don’t love you. I never want to see you again.’
‘Georgie, please,’ he starts, taking me by the hand. ‘I love you. We can work this out – really, we can. I’ve made a huge mistake but I want to make it up to you.’
I hear the chatter of people as guests start making their way into the room and taking their seats.
‘John, I mean it. I never want to see you again – I don’t know how to make this clearer. You cheating on me opened my eyes to the fact that we don’t love each other. Goodbye.’
I don’t even feel bad about being so harsh with him, because the second I feel myself softening, I remember that image of him in bed with her. It’s an image I’ll never be able to forget as long as I live. It’s an image that will haunt me in my future relationships, making it harder for me to trust people. It’s an image that’s going to be in my head every time a future partner is late coming home from work or doesn’t reply to my text messages within the usual amount of time. That image is the reason I’ll probably always check future boyfriends’ phones for messages from other girls when they’re not looking. Whether he’s planning a surprise holiday or trying to hide a Christmas gift in our home – I’ll be there, watching his every move like a hawk, all because of that image.
‘I’m not leaving here without you. I’ll stay here as long as it takes,’ he insists.
‘John, you can’t just turn up here in your work tux, with your rubbish apology, and demand I forgive you. There’s no room for you anyway.’
‘I don’t care,’ he says. ‘I’ll stand at the back.’
I pause for a second and collect my thoughts. I don’t want to yell at him, I don’t want his apologies. I just want him to leave. The room is really starting to fill up now, which is my cue to go back to Fliss.
‘I have to go,’ I tell him softly. ‘Please don’t be here when I get back.’
Other than cheating on me, which is a pretty spectacular strike against him, John has never been guilty of anything other than being a bit selfish and a bit dull. He’s never caused me any trouble, though, whether that’s because he’s respectful or scared of confrontation. Hopefully he’ll clear off and leave me in peace.
Fliss looks like a regular Daisy Buchanan in her embellished white dress and Art Deco headband/veil. Her wedding theme may have been plucked out of thin air in an attempt to seem cosmopolitan, but I have to admit it makes her day stand out from all the other weddings.
As she stands with her dad, nervously waiting to walk down the aisle, I notice that awkward teenager I used to be best friends with is still very much a part of her. She looks terrified. Like, even though she’s been with Dougie forever, and he can give her an amazing life, she’s still not sure whether or not she’s doing the right thing. If I could, I’d tell her that getting blind drunk would put an end to any pre-wedding jitters. Well, it worked for me.
Walking down the aisle, in front of my family and friends, couldn’t be more of a reminder about what should have been in my not-too-distant future. I’ve got the pretty dress custom-made just for me, I’ve got my nearest and dearest around me and – look at that – my fiancé is even here, lingering around at the back of the room like he threatened. Oh, and there’s my dutiful husband, who, despite my inadvertent best efforts to drive away, is siting with Betty ready for the ceremony to start, just like he said he would be.
As the ceremony takes place, I can’t help but look over at Jack, and then at John. I keep catching them both looking at me and wish I knew what was going on in their heads.
I keep thinking about what Jack said, about him liking me from the moment he met me, and it makes sense. Well, no, it doesn’t really make that much sense, that someone as hot as Jack would be interested in someone like me, but him liking me does explain why he’s been so good to me. The other thing he said that I cannot get out of my head is that he doesn’t know what he’s doing for real and what he’s doing for money. It’s made me wonder what I’m doing for show and what I’m doing because I actually really like Jack – and whether sleeping with him wasn’t for anyone’s benefit but my own. When I think about the time we’ve spent together since we met, I realise I’ve been happy, and it’s because Jack has made me happy. Could it be that, while we were pretending to be in love, we realised we actually were? Pretending to have feelings for one another has been pretty easy, after all. I should have realised it the first time I kissed him, when he made me feel like no other man has ever made me feel before. And I know he’s here today, but the thought I might have pushed him away forever scares me. So much so that the second the person conducting the ceremony asks for any reasons why these two shouldn’t be married, I might object, just so I can talk to Jack. Of course, I’d never do that. I can wait until after the wedding.
My God, Jack looks good in his suit, even if it is a ridiculous, Bugsy Malone-looking thing. I’ve always known I wanted to be an actress, ever since I was a kid. In fact, one of the first plays I was in was Bugsy Malone. I remember desperately wanting to play the part of Tallulah – blonde, glitzy and glamorous. Instead I wound up playing Blousey Brown. Yes, she might have been the female lead, but she was a very shy, timid girl, and I was young and stupid and wanted to be the cool girl. Obviously, now, I’d take the part of Fat Sam if it meant actually bagging myself an acting gig.
‘I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride.’
The happy couple lock lips before making their way back down the aisle together. The plan is to pose for photos on the stunning staircase in the lobby, but I have to get rid of John first.
I slink towards the back of the room, grabbing him by the arm before pulling him behind one of the cream drapes cloaking the walls.
‘What are you still doing here?’ I ask angrily. ‘I told you to leave.’
‘No,’ he says firmly. ‘Look, you’re still wearing your engagement ring.’
I laugh.
‘I’m still wearing my engagement ring because I was too embarrassed to admit to my family that my shit of a fi
ancé cheated on me,’ I point out. ‘I didn’t want to ruin my cousin’s wedding with it, which is what will happen if you don’t piss off right now.’
It’s funny, to see John wince as I swear. He’s not used to this version of me.
‘Just give me one good reason why I should give up on us,’ he says.
And so, I do. I tell him the truth. I tell him because it is the truth, but also because I want to hurt him like he hurt me.
‘I’ve met someone else,’ I tell him.
‘Of course you have,’ he laughs. ‘Come on, Georgie.’
‘I have,’ I insist. ‘I met him in Vegas, we hit it off and… we got married. My husband is here with me so I suggest, unless you want to get punched in the face by him, because he’s big and strong and crazy jealous and not your biggest fan, that you get out of here.’
And with that, I walk off. If that doesn’t do the trick, nothing will.
Chapter Thirty-Eight
And the award for the photographer with the most patience goes to… the lady shooting Fliss and Dougie’s wedding, for allowing Fliss to check and approve each shot individually. Yes, after each press of the shutter, Fliss insists on looking at the photo before the next one can be taken. I suppose, if she’s only planning on doing this once, it makes sense that she wants everything to be perfect.
To keep up appearances, Jack and I have posed together in all the photos, although we’re yet to say a word to one another. I’ve tried to speak to him a few times, but suddenly the thought of confessing my feelings to him makes me feel sick with nerves. I suppose it’s because I don’t know what will happen when I do. I know I want to be with him, and I know he really wants to take this job. It had crossed my mind, to move back home, although how would I explain it? Suddenly, Jack works in a casino and, oh, hello, we’re actually married. I don’t know. People would be so upset I’d lied to them. In hindsight, it probably wasn’t my best idea, but the alternatives seemed much worse.
The ceremony room has now been transformed into a dining room and it still looks just as beautiful. Fortunately, due to only being promoted to bridesmaid during the last few days, there isn’t a place at the top table for me. I’m sitting at one of the regular-folk tables, with Jack, so maybe we’ll get to talk. I miss him. After less than twenty-four hours of us not speaking, I’m pining for him like you wouldn’t believe.
The Accidental Honeymoon Page 21
