And This Too Shall Pass

by E. Lynn Harris

  Tamela took a few more bites of her apple and then asked her mother, “Do you have anything to drink?”

  “Is this an iced tea, lemonade, or wine cooler conversation?”

  “Probably a wine cooler, but maybe lemonade will be better,” Tamela said as she slouched in the chair. While Blanche was fixing lemonade for her daughter, Tamela told her about Caliph’s missing the party and how she felt he had lied about where he had been. She didn’t mention how worried she had been when she didn’t hear from him.

  “So why do you, think he’s lying? Did you call all the hospitals to see if his daughter was sick? I mean, honey, get a grip. A lot of men don’t even know when their children are sick. He’s just a concerned parent. And you’re just being spoiled and stubborn,” Blanche said.

  “No, I’m not, Mama. He could have called,” Tamela said.

  “But from what you told me, he did,” Blanche countered.

  “But it was hours later. What would it have taken just to call and leave a message? He had the number for Gina’s.”

  “Hello, daughter of mine. The man’s child was sick. Once when you were sick with the flu and I stayed home with you, I was so worried I forgot to call the school and tell them I wouldn’t be there. And your father was the same way when Hank Junior had the mumps and when you had the measles,” Blanche said.

  “Why are you taking up for him, Mama? You haven’t even met him. Caliph is smooth, and he’s typical,” Tamela said.

  “Typical what?”

  “A typical up-to-no-good black man.”

  “Wait a minute! What have I told you about stereotypes?”

  “Mama, you don’t understand,” Tamela said.

  “I guess you’re right. I don’t understand how you can dismiss someone you obviously care about just because you think he lied. Not that I endorse lying, but people, both men and women, tell little lies every now and then. It sounds like Caliph really cares about you. There is something more to this. And if we have to sit here and drink lemonade until we get sugar diabetes then so be it. But you gonna tell your mother what’s really bothering you,” Blanche said firmly.

  While her mother was making lemonade, Tamela sat at the table and started to wonder if she could tell her mother what was really bothering her. Well, lady, you might not want to hear what’s really bugging me, but if that’s what you want, then I’m going to give it to you.

  Blanche brought two glasses of lemonade to the table and sat one in front of Tamela with a certain force. She wanted to get Tamela’s attention. When Tamela moved her eyes upward at her mother standing over her, Blanche looked back at her daughter and said, “Talk,” as she kicked off her house shoes and sat in the chair facing Tamela. “I’m listening and I’m prepared to give up ’60 Minutes’ and ‘Murder She Wrote.’ ” She enjoyed a sip of the sweet-tasting drink and took a deep breath and said, “Here goes nothing.” Tamela was thinking, Here goes everything, no more secrets.

  “The reason I think I’m giving Caliph such a hard time is because I’m afraid. I’m afraid of falling in love and being hurt again,” Tamela said.

  “Hurt again? What do you mean, baby?”

  “Well, I know we didn’t talk about it a lot when I broke up with Jason. I mean I just put on my tough-girl act and pretended like it didn’t matter, but it did. Mama, I loved Jason a great deal and when we broke up it hurt.” Blanche touched her daughter’s hand, rubbed it softly, and said, “I’m sorry, baby. Why didn’t you come and talk to your daddy and me? We thought you were handling it pretty well.”

  “I guess when I look back on it, I did. But with Jason, I thought it was my only chance to have what you and Daddy have. You know, a nice house, good jobs, and children.”

  “You can have all that, baby, it just doesn’t have to be with Jason,” Blanche said.

  “But I can’t, Mama. Jason took all that from me,” Tamela said sadly.

  “What do you mean he took it all from you?”

  “When I was in college, I found out the hard way that Jason was completely unfaithful to me. He was sleeping anywhere he found a hole … oops,” Tamela said as she put her hands over her mouth in embarrassment. She wanted to say, Anybody who wanted it could’ve had a sample of that crooked fat dick of his.

  “We can suspend the mother-daughter rules for this conversation. Tonight I’m Blanche Coleman, best friend. Tamela, you’re thirty, say what you want. How did you find out he was sleeping around on you?”

  “I got a call from the student infirmary,” Tamela said. Blanche’s face suddenly turned serious. What was her daughter getting ready to tell her and was she prepared for it? “Mama, please don’t look that way,” Tamela said as she reached and grabbed her mother’s hand.

  “Why did the infirmary call you, Tamela?”

  “It seems like Jason had given several young ladies on campus an STD. Rumor had it that he had also passed it on to one of his fraternity brothers,” Tamela said in a matter-of-fact tone.

  “What kind of disease?”

  “Well, it seems he was an equal-opportunity spreader of diseases. He had given one young lady the clap and his frat brother, too. That was never really confirmed, but he had given me and two other young ladies, including one of my sorority sisters, chlamydia.”

  “What?”

  “Chlamydia, Mama. You know what that is, don’t you?”

  “Yes, darling. I’ve heard of it. They have a cure for that, don’t they?”

  “Yes, Mama. If they catch it in time. The other young ladies had found out almost a year before I did. Jason had told them to go and get themselves checked out, but he didn’t tell me. When I went to see the doctor, he told me he could give me something to take care of it, but I might be infertile,” Tamela said as tears began to form in her eyes and her lower lip began to tremble.

  “You mean you can’t have children?”

  “Yes, Mama, that’s what I’m trying to say. It’s something I haven’t told anyone. Not even Desiree. And then along comes Caliph, sweeping me off my feet, and telling me how much he loves children and how he wants to have a million of them,” Tamela said as tears started to make their descent down her face.

  “Are you certain?”

  “I think so, Mama. Let’s just say before AIDS came around, I didn’t always insist on protection ’cause I wasn’t worried about getting pregnant. And that’s what the doctor told me at school. I never mentioned it to Jason. I think my sorority sister is the one who told the doctor that I was sleeping with Jason.”

  “You could always adopt,” Blanche offered. She needed time to think of what to say to ease her daughter’s pain and concern.

  “Yeah, I know, but probably not with Caliph. You see, Mama, I have to give him up now before I fall in love. Maybe there is some man out there who doesn’t want kids who could love me,” Tamela said. She was determined not to go through a sob session, and she took a long gulp of her now ice-free lemonade.

  “I know what we need to do and that’s get a second opinion. It’s been years. And I’m not bad-mouthing my school, but, honey, that was a doctor at Southern and medical science has made all kinds of advances. If it’s the good Lord’s will then you will have children somehow. But I still don’t think you should give up on Caliph. Date him for a while and if you fall in love, then you’re just in love. Don’t go into this relationship with some self-fulfilling prophecy that it’s not going to work,” Blanche said. “Be honest with him.”

  “But I want what you have, Mama. I want to have love in my life like you and Daddy,” Tamela said.

  “And you can have that. Look, nothing is promised. I had no way of knowing when I gave up my dreams of going to law school to marry your daddy and help him get his master’s degree that our love would last. He could have traded me for a younger model anytime. And I would have had to live with that. We never know what’s going to happen when we deal with emotions. The only control you have when it comes to love is how you love another person; you can’t control how they
feel about you.”

  “I don’t know, Mama. I’m just so scared,” Tamela said.

  “Then be scared. That’s okay. But don’t run away from love. Give this young man a chance. And the rest will work itself out,” Blanche said.

  Just as Tamela was getting ready to tell her mother she wasn’t certain she believed her, Hank Senior walked up behind her and gave her a big hug, rubbing his itchy face between Tamela’s chin and neck. It both scratched and tickled her. “How’s my pumpkin? Mama didn’t tell me you were going to be here.”

  “Hey, Daddy,” Tamela said as she got up from her chair and hugged her father. While she was hugging him, Tamela started to cry.

  “Now, now, baby … stop crying. It’s going to be all right. Didn’t you hear? You don’t have to cry … our team won,” Hank Senior said.

  “Fool, what are you talking about?” Blanche asked.

  Hank winked at her as he said. “That’s why my pumpkin is crying because she thinks the Cougars lost again. But they won. That Zurich fellow has been playing great since he hired my daughter as his lawyer.”

  Blanche and Tamela just looked at Hank, Senior as if he was ocean deep crazy. But Hank knew full well what he was doing. He knew his daughter was not crying about some sporting event. Whatever it was he knew Blanche would let him know later that night when they prepared for bed. Right now, he wanted to lighten up the mood, to make his wife and daughter smile. After they both repeated what he had just said about the dumb game, they did exactly what he wanted. They started hitting him playfully as they both stopped crying and began to smile.

  When Tamela got home, Caliph was standing in her lobby. He didn’t look happy.

  “Caliph, what are you doing here?” Tamela asked. Caliph didn’t answer her. He walked over to her and looked directly in her eyes and said firmly, “Don’t say a word until I’m finished. First off, I’m not into playing games, so this phone shit has got to cease.”

  “Wait just a—” Tamela started, but Caliph took his large fingers and put them on her lips and repeated his warning.

  “Don’t say another word till I’m finished. I’m sorry I missed the party, but Whitney was sick and I forgot to call. Look, I care a great deal about you, more than I’d like to admit, but I love my daughter more than life itself. When she hurts, I hurt. I wasn’t thinking and I know I should have called. I knew you might be worried. But when you see your child hurting then your mind just goes blank. I do have room in my life for you and for Whitney, but you’ve got to work with me. You have to tell me when you’re scared, because I’m scared, too. I want to be there for you, but I need to know you’re behind me and that we’re not going to play games and you’re not going to compete with my daughter. You got to be honest with me and I promise to do the same. But you have to decide what you want. I know what I want. I want my daughter to be healthy and have me in her life always. I want you in my life also. Now you might tell me I can’t have both. But that’s what I want. It’s on you now, Tamela Faye Coleman, it’s on you. And another thing,” Caliph said as he moved closer to Tamela and gently kissed her on the lips. He took his finger and touched the end of her nose, smiled a sexy grin, and said, “Just so you’ll remember,” and then walked out the door. Tamela was stunned as she thought, I guess I been read!

  Round midnight Zurich’s phone rang. He thought it might be Sean or Basil wanting to be talked to sleep. So he was quite surprised when a female voice greeted him with an abrupt “Who is this?” when he said hello.

  Zurich’s first thought was that the woman sounded white. Probably some groupie, he thought, but how did she get his unlisted number?

  “Who’s calling?” Zurich asked.

  “Look, don’t play with me,” she demanded. “Whose number is this?”

  “Miss, if you tell me who you are and how I can help you, then maybe I’ll share that information with you,” Zurich said.

  “I know some bitch probably lives there, but you better tell her to stop beeping my husband,” she said.

  “Miss, I’m the only one who lives here,” Zurich said.

  “Are you sure?”

  “The last time I checked,” Zurich said.

  “Do you know my husband?”

  “Your husband. What’s his name?”

  “I’m Vickie Henderson, Basil Henderson’s wife,” she said. Zurich was pissed. So this is why Basil only had a beeper number. The jerk was married, not between houses like he said.

  “Yeah, I know Basil and I did page him earlier tonight,” Zurich said.

  “Oh, do you play with him?” Vickie asked.

  “No, but I’ve played against him,” Zurich said.

  “Then I’m sorry. I’m just checking. I’m sure you know how some women are. They don’t have any respect for relationships. And I was just checking. I mean Basil usually never leaves here without his beeper. But tonight when he went running … well, I’m sorry. Please, I’m sorry, what was your name?”

  “Zurich.”

  “I’m sorry, Zurich, for bothering you. Can we keep this just between you and me? I mean Basil doesn’t need to know I’ve been checking up on him,” Vickie pleaded.

  “No problem, Mrs. Henderson, your secret’s safe with me,” Zurich said as he hung up the phone and yelled in the darkness of his bedroom, “Basil, you’re a jive mf who just got busted.”

  Tamela couldn’t sleep. At around three A.M., she got up from her bed and went into her living room, where she sat cross-legged on the floor and enjoyed the stillness of the apartment. After a few minutes, Tamela hit the play button on her stacked stereo system and Anita Baker’s melodic voice filled her apartment. As she listened to the music, she thought of her surprise meeting with Caliph. How firm and definite he had been in his comments.

  Tamela knew she had jumped to conclusions. She wanted to tell him about her fear of falling in love with such a handsome man. How she was certain that after he won her heart he would revert to his man shit, not calling, missing dates, lying, cheating, and showing her disrespect. Tamela knew her pride couldn’t stand for that; being alone would be better.

  But what if Caliph was different? Maybe his being a father to a little girl had changed him for the better. Tamela realized that if she surrendered to her fears, she might never have love in her life again.

  Suddenly Tamela stood and started to pick up the phone to call Caliph when she heard Anita sing a song called “I Apologize.” The words in the beautiful song conveyed what Tamela wanted to say to Caliph. So instead of calling him, she taped the song five times on a blank cassette, and wrote on a plain white index card: When I look at my list of needs and wants, I find you on both. Let’s talk. She placed the card and the tape in an envelope and climbed back into her bed.

  The next morning on her way to her office, Tamela stopped by Caliph’s apartment and placed the envelope on his car between his windshield wipers. Later that afternoon, via messenger, she received the same envelope at her office, with Caliph’s name scratched out and her name written with a black Magic Marker. Nervously she opened the envelope and pulled out an After 7 CD single with the song “Till You Do Me Right.” And on the back of the attached index card she read: Tamela, Listen and learn and then let the games begin. Your man who is ready to protect and serve, Caliph.

  CHAPTER 26

  WHEN YOU SMILE

  Thanksgiving sneaked up and passed. The Cougars were in the middle of another losing streak, but Zurich was playing well. His personal life was still a ball of confusion. Basil was trying to convince him that his marriage was dead and to go on a trip with him after the season was over, but Zurich was not convinced of either. Still mildly depressed, Sean was putting final touches on a story proposal entitled “Violence and Latent Homosexuality in Professional Sports.” Looking for work and his nephew kept him sane. Tamela, back with Caliph but trying desperately not to fall in love with him, was busy with her caseload at the firm and checking out office space in preparation for opening her own offices, while Mia was
adjusting to a new set at the station that required her to stand rather than sit behind an anchor desk. She was still drinking, though not as much as before, a couple of glasses of wine a week, and trying to accept the realization that she might never remember who attacked her. MamaCee was back at the hospice every other day, instead of once a week, falling in love with new friends.

  The Wednesday after Thanksgiving, aware that Sean seemed depressed after returning from Chicago, Anja talked him into an evening on the town, her treat. She had bought great seats to see Vanessa Williams in Kiss of the Spider Woman and made reservations at the popular B. Smith’s restaurant, located near the theater, for afterward.

  The show seemed to cheer Sean up, probably since he was a big Vanessa Williams fan. But toward the end of the second act, Anja looked over at her brother to comment on how good it was, when she saw tears streaming down his face. Anja didn’t say anything; she simply gently rubbed his hands and laid her head on his shoulder.

  After the musical, Sean and Anja enjoyed the night while they were walking up Eighth Avenue to B. Smith’s. It was cool, and the sky was clear. When they reached the restaurant and were waiting to be seated, Anja asked Sean why he had been crying. “It was just so sad. I mean with the gay character being killed just when he had finally found love,” Sean said.

  “But it’s just a story,” Anja said.

  “Yes, but stories come from real life. It just made me realize that as a gay man, I may never find true love, and if I do, it might be too late,” Sean said.

  “Too late? What are you talking about? Where are you going?”

  “Let’s just enjoy the rest of the evening, Anja. Let’s not get deep,” Sean said. They were seated in a booth in the packed establishment. It was an open and airy restaurant, accented with calm pastel colors and golden walls. The room shimmered with the sounds of glassware, dishes, and patrons in lively conversation. Sean was gazing at all the happy couples at the silver and black bar, while Anja studied the menu.

  “What are you going to have, Sean?” Anja asked. Sean had not looked at the menu.