“Oh, whatever. You order for me,” he said.
“Come on, Sean, cheer up. I’m going to order champagne.”
“What are we celebrating?”
“Just me being here with my brother and one of my most favorite people in the world,” Anja said.
Sean didn’t respond but continued to stare at the couples at the bar and the surrounding tables.
When their meals arrived, Sean still seemed preoccupied with sadness. Anja was trying to lighten up his mood with a few jokes and some of Gerald’s latest antics on the football field. “You should really see him play, Sean, I think he’s really going to be good,” Anja said.
“He’s not ignoring his studies, is he? I mean sports can’t be the end all for all little black boys,” he said.
“Come on, lighten up. It’s only Pee Wee and Gerald isn’t even ten years old. Aren’t you the one that got him interested in the first place?”
“I’m sorry,” Sean said as he picked at his tasty seafood pasta.
“You’re still thinking about the play, aren’t you?”
“Not the play. Just about love and Zurich,” Sean said.
“When was the last time you talked to him?”
“I haven’t talked to him since that night I left Chicago. He’s left several messages. I’ve returned a few of them. But I always call when I know he’s not going to be at home. When I’m certain he’s at practice or away at a game,” Sean said.
“Why do you do that? Why are you playing games with him?” Anja asked.
“I’m not playing games. He’s probably really happy with Basil Henderson and I don’t want to mess that up.”
“Do you know that for sure? Didn’t you say that Basil guy was married?”
“I think he’s married,” Sean said.
“Do you think Zurich knows that?”
“I don’t know; come on, let’s talk about something else,” Sean said.
“Tell me why you just can’t be friends?”
“Maybe someday we can be friends. But I still feel like I’m in love with him and if I talk with him or see him, it will only make matters worse,” Sean said as he played with his food.
“If you want to talk about something else, then I got something that might shock you,” Anja said.
“What? Is it about Gerald?”
“No.”
“What then?”
“I’ve met someone,” Anja smiled.
“Who is it? But please don’t tell me it’s another minister,” Sean pleaded.
“No, but I did realize how special this person was at church,” Anja said.
“What church, Reverend Theodis’s church?”
“No, Sean, you know I stopped going there months ago,” Anja said.
“Well, then, who is he? And does he have a gay brother? Stop teasing me.” Maybe Anja was getting ready to tell him a story that would make him laugh. Something that would make him forget his blues.
“Who said it was a he?” Anja asked slyly.
Sean stopped his fork in mid-air. His mouth fell open so wide you could have pushed a wine bottle through it. Anja was smiling a cat-who-ate-Tweety-Bird grin, satisfied that she had finally rescued her brother briefly from his doom-and-gloom mood.
When Sean finally closed his mouth, he looked at Anja and asked, “What did you say?”
“You heard me correctly. I said, ‘Who said it was a he?’ ”
“Is it a woman? Is my sister bumping pussies?” Sean smiled.
“Yes, it’s a woman and her name is Marilyn and no we ain’t as you so politically incorrectly said bumping pussies,” Anja said. “At least not yet.”
“Come on, tell me ’bout this. How did you meet?”
Anja told Sean she had met Marilyn Dodson at the bank, where she had just been hired as an assistant vice president after graduating from Wharton School of Business. They had become fast friends, and one day when Anja mentioned she was looking for a new church, Marilyn told her about a great church she attended in Brooklyn. She invited Anja during one of the weekends Gerald was staying with Sean.
“You mean the weekend after Halloween?” Sean asked as he remembered one of the last weekends he hadn’t constantly thought about Zurich. Being with his nephew had taken his mind away from his Love Jones.
“Yes, that’s the weekend. Anyway, Sean—the church Marilyn took me to was wonderful. I mean it was the best church I’ve ever been too. You’ll have to come with us real soon. Get this, Sean, it’s a gay church, and the majority of their congregation is black or Hispanic,” Anja said as she took a bite of her fish.
“Okay, that’s all well and good, but tell me about this Marilyn woman.”
“She’s wonderful. Smart and beautiful in her own way,” Anja beamed.
“Is she gay?”
“Yes and quite proud of it.”
“But, Anja—I still don’t understand. Are you telling me that after a couple of church services with some wonderful lady—you’ve become gay?”
“No, Sean, I know you know better than that. All I’m saying is I’m keeping my options open. I’m just saying I feel wonderful when I’m with her. And I’ve had fantasies of being intimate with her, that’s all.”
“What does she think about all this?”
“Marilyn’s very understanding. I mean we’ve talked. I’ve been honest about my feelings for her. I also told her I’ve never been with a woman, and I don’t know if I could. Right now, I’m just enjoying our friendship. And I’m never saying never. That’s the way you should look at your relationship with Zurich,” Anja said.
“My situation is a little different. But, boy oh boy, how the worm turns. So maybe we share more than a genetic trait of fear,” Sean said.
“Maybe … maybe not,” Anja smiled.
Zurich dialed Basil’s beeper number and punched in his home number. A few minutes later Basil called back.
“Whatsup, Gee?” Basil said.
“Hey, guy. How was practice?”
“Cool. What about yourself?”
“It was okay. It’s going to be tough this week against Pittsburgh,” Zurich said.
“Yeah, man, they’re tough. I think they’re going to the Super Bowl,” Basil said.
“Yeah, I think you’re right,” Zurich said.
“So whatsup? Have you made up your mind? Are you going to meet me in Hawaii?” Basil asked eagerly.
“That’s why I called. I think I’m going to pass. I’ve decided after the Super Bowl to spend a lot of time with my grandmother. I want to convince her to let me build her a house, right alongside her place now. If she won’t move into it, then maybe I’ll stay there during the off-season,” Zurich said. He knew he was just rambling and Basil wasn’t listening. Zurich had figured out that the only way to get his undivided attention was to talk about Basil.
“You’ve chickened out. You’re still scared,” Basil said.
“No, it’s not that. But I’m still not convinced you’re going to be able to just leave your wife and I’m not so certain you should,” Zurich said.
“What the fuck are you talking about? I told you that bitch is history and it has nothing to do with us. I’m just waiting on my lawyer to get back with me on what she wants,” Basil said.
“I’ve just been having second thoughts. I’ve explained to you how I’m still discovering things about myself and as much as I enjoy talking with you and all, I think I need to take things slow,” Zurich said.
“That’s on you, man. I’ve laid it out there, man. It’s on you. I’m not going to beg. And right now I’ve got something to take care of,” Basil said in a terse tone.
“I know,” Zurich said and then suddenly he heard a dial tone. Did Basil hang up on him? He waited a few minutes thinking maybe he had been disconnected by accident, but thirty minutes later he still had not heard from Basil. Zurich dialed his beeper number and waited another thirty minutes before he picked up his phone again, and this time he dialed Sean’s number. He got the answerin
g machine again and when the beep sounded he left a long message. “Sean, this is Zurich. Why haven’t you returned my calls, man? I miss talking to you. I miss seeing you. So much has happened and I really need to talk to my buddy. I want to see you, man. Maybe you can come here or after the season we can meet in Atlanta. I know I’m rambling … MamaCee says hello … call me.”
After leaving the message, Zurich realized Sean might not call back, so he unplugged his phone, put in five CD’s, and climbed into bed. When Sean got home after his evening with Anja he saw his answering machine light beeping. When he hit Play and heard Zurich’s voice, he immediately hit the Stop button. He was already in the dumps, hearing Zurich talk about how wonderful Basil was would send him over the edge. And he was trying to hold on.
Tamela wanted to scream, but instead she ordered another white wine. It was Thursday evening and she was having drinks at Houston’s with Dante X, a Chicago attorney with whom she was considering sharing an office suite. Dante was married, but it was obvious to Tamela he was a professional flirt. Every time she saw him, he was always commenting on how good Tamela looked and how he’d be happy as a pig in slop if he could share an office space with her and whatever else she wanted to share.
Dante always ended his comments with this lewd sucking sound he made with his teeth and was constantly touching his private parts as if he was making sure they were still there. His office was in a prime location, directly across from the Sears Tower, and Tamela had already pictured how her new stationery would look with the well-known address on the letterhead. But after one drink with Dante, Tamela knew her search for suitable office space would continue. She wanted to tell him to stop sucking on his teeth and get a real last name. If he was so worried about that little dick of his being detachable then he should replace it with one that came attached to a body with brains. She knew it was time to go when Dante leered over her shoulders and said, “Look at this fine high-yellow mama walking in here. Good googly moogly, would I like to taste some of that.” Tamela didn’t look to see who he was talking about. Instead, she got down from the bar stool, and picked up her purse and briefcase, and said, “I would love to stay here and engage you in a battle of wits, but it’s obvious you’re unarmed.” She didn’t wait for a response and as she headed toward the door, Tamela bumped into the woman Mr. X had been talking about.
“Excuse me, I wasn’t looking where I was going,” Mia said with a flustered look on her face.
“Oh, no, excuse me,” Tamela said as she stared at Mia and wondered if she knew who Tamela was. But it didn’t appear so, since Mia just smiled and walked toward the hostess station of the restaurant. Tamela was debating whether or not to go over and introduce herself, when she noticed the beautiful burgundy ribbon holding together Mia’s thick ponytail. The ribbon looked familiar, and Tamela’s thoughts were now clouded with why the ribbon caught her attention, when Dante walked up beside her and whispered in her ear, “Now I understand why you wouldn’t give me no play. I saw the way you’re checking that sister out. If you’re a dyke, we can still deal. I like to watch,” he said as he smiled and made that sucking sound with his teeth. Tamela wanted to slap the smirk from his face, but instead she smiled and said, “I would call you a retarded motherfucker, but I see no reason to insult your mother.” With a smile of satisfaction Tamela walked out of the restaurant.
Mia spotted Derrick waving at her from a table located near the back of the dark restaurant. She walked up and kissed him on the cheeks as he stood up and hugged her.
“So how long you in town for?” Mia asked as he pulled out her chair.
“Just a couple of days. You’re looking great. I saw you on the news. I like the new set,” he said as he poked a chip into the spinach dip he had ordered while waiting for Mia.
“Thanks, I’m still getting used to it,” Mia said. The waiter came over and asked Mia if she wanted something to drink. She wanted to order a wine spritzer but she didn’t want a lecture from Derrick. She was certain he wouldn’t understand her plan for getting alcohol out of her life slowly.
“I’ll have a cranberry juice with club soda,” Mia said, without looking in Derrick’s direction.
“How was your Thanksgiving?” Derrick asked.
“It was okay. My mother came up and we had a good time, but I had to work,” Mia said.
“How is your mother?”
“She’s fine. We really had a good time,” Mia said.
“Have you told her what happened?”
“Not yet,” Mia said as she looked over the restaurant menu.
“When are you going to tell her?”
Mia placed the menu down on the table and looked at Derrick and said, “I’m working up to it. My parents will go crazy when they find out. And since the case hasn’t been closed yet, I just don’t want to burden them. I’m not certain I will ever tell them. Derrick, look, I’m happy to see you, let’s not spoil it by talking about the assault and my drinking,” Mia pleaded.
“So, you’re still drinking?”
“No, not really. Just a glass of wine every now and then with people at work. You know it’s expected.”
“You could always do what you did today,” Derrick said.
“What’s that?”
“Order a cranberry and club soda. It looks good and it tastes wonderful,” Derrick said.
“Derrick, I’m taking everything slowly. One day at a time,” Mia said.
“That’s what you have to do. It’s one of the things you learn in AA,” Derrick said.
“Please not that AA stuff. I’m a personality in this city. If I ever feel I need help, then I’ll go away and get help,” Mia said.
Derrick could tell he wasn’t getting anywhere with Mia, so he decided to change the subject. He realized as much as he wanted to help Mia it was up to her to admit that she had a problem.
“What are you doing for Christmas?” Derrick asked.
“I haven’t seen the work schedule yet. If I’m not working, LaDonna and I are talking about going skiing,” Mia said.
“With the Black Ski Summit?”
“No, we’re thinking about going on our own, maybe someplace like Utah or Aspen,” Mia said. “What about yourself?”
“I’m going to spend it with my family. But I might be interested in a ski trip if I was invited,” Derrick smiled.
“You never know what Santa Claus is going to bring you,” Mia smiled. It was her sweet smile that Derrick loved. The type of smile he hadn’t seen from Mia in years. Maybe, he thought, it was a smile of a new beginning.
Friday evening, just as Tamela was preparing to leave her office and meet Caliph for dinner, her office phone rang. Christina had already left for the evening, so she picked up her phone thinking it might be Caliph.
“Tamela Coleman, speaking.”
“Tamela, this is Karen Hedge from the DA’s office. You got a moment?”
“Sure, Karen, what can I do for you?”
“You called some time ago about Pede Morris, right?”
“Oh yeah, I’d forgotten about that,” Tamela said as she sat on the edge of her desk.
“Well, I’ve looked over the file. I think I’m prepared to drop the charges if he completes a counseling workshop on violence,” Karen said.
“That’s great. Thanks, Karen. I’ll talk to Pede and his mother this weekend. I’m certain they’ll agree.”
“No problem, I’m sorry it’s taken me so long to get back to you, but we’re still swamped over here.”
“The tough life of being a public servant,” Tamela said.
“You’re telling me. Okay, and I still haven’t forgotten about our lunch. Have a good weekend.”
“You too,” Tamela said. Just as she was getting ready to say good-bye, she remembered bumping into Mia and something that had been bothering her. “Karen.”
“Yes, Tamela.”
“Have you gotten any new leads on the Miller case?”
“No, she still doesn’t have her full memory o
n the evening back. To tell you the truth I don’t know if we will ever solve it,” Karen sighed.
“I have something I think you might be interested in,” Tamela said.
“I’m listening.”
Tamela told Karen about her meeting the valet parking attendant’s mother and the ribbon she was wearing. She explained it was very unusual-looking and how Mrs. Tucker said her son had given it to her and how she had seen Mia with the same type of ribbon a couple of days before. She also mentioned that the last time anyone had seen Mia, it was in a cab heading back to her car parked in the valet lot. Tamela went on to tell Karen how DeAndre never returned any of the calls she left at the restaurant and wouldn’t talk with her investigator or Warner.
“I don’t know if it means anything but you might want to check it out,” Tamela said.
“Yeah, you never know. This sounds interesting. Thanks a lot,” Karen said.
Tamela hung up the phone with a feeling of satisfaction that her information might help Karen and Mia.
CHAPTER 27
IF GOD IS DEAD
The night before the first day of December, Sean couldn’t sleep. He had a lot on his mind. He was looking at entering a new year with his life in disarray. It was becoming more difficult to find work and he was facing the prospect of returning home. He still found himself thinking about Zurich, but hadn’t talked with him. Sean was hurting, and he needed help. He felt there was only one place to turn.
About 3 A.M. Sean got up from his bed and put on a pair of warm-ups, a heavy sweatshirt, and his Cougar baseball cap, a gift from Zurich. He went to the rooftop of his apartment, a place he had been only once before, when the building manager showed it to him. A cloudy sky shielded the stars and moon, and a crisp breeze chilled his face. Sean sat down on a wooden crate under a lamp the color of candlelight, as he looked out on the city. The city seemed motionless, except for an occasional taxi moving slowly down the street. The rooftop was peaceful, and Sean wanted peace. Sean began to speak as if he were in a private conference with someone who had all the answers. He looked toward the sky and began to talk out loud to God.
And This Too Shall Pass Page 37
