by Lila Felix
Chapter Fifteen
Molly
MANY WOMEN HAVE said there’s nothing like a man in a uniform. These women must have seen Lars in uniform because he was the type to stop my heart every time I saw him in it. As I stared at him now, he was a little more round than before but nothing unattractive. I knew it was because of the alcohol and unhealthy eating habits.
But at that moment it wasn’t what was concerning me. It was the sincere look in his eyes. He was serious. One side of me wanted to continue the charade and tell him to go away. The other part of me wanted to jump into his arms, kiss him until my lips were chapped, and never let him go again.
“Molly, you need to come home with me. Not to take care of me but to be by my side again. I can’t walk this world without you.” His voice was low and he reached for my hand.
His skin had always been rough because he worked with his hands, but it would always bring me comfort when he touched me. “Lars.”
“Don’t overthink this. You’ve been out of my life for ten years, and I don’t want another minute without you. You are my world, Molly. My love. I love you and I always have. I also have been extremely mad at you but love wins every time.” He squeezed my hand a little tighter, and I had to remember to breathe.
“There is a lot you don’t know about me. I’ve changed a lot in ten years being alone and on my own.”
“It’s nothing that I don’t already love. Therefore, I don’t care what’s changed about you.”
I pulled my hand away for a second and scrubbed my face as I walked over to the couch and sat down. “Jameson told you what the doctors said, huh?” Maybe that was why he came back. He realized I wasn’t going to be a burden.
“He didn’t tell me anything. What’s wrong? Is the cancer worse than before?” He came over to me, sat down next to me and took my hand in his.
A small shiver ran down my spine. “I’m in remission. I just have the flu.”
“What?”
“I don’t know how I can say it differently, but I don’t have cancer right now.”
“No, I heard you. This is wonderful news, Molly.” He hugged me.
I melted right into his body as I’ve done a million times before. “There’s still a chance it could come back,” I whispered.
“And I’ll be there to take care of you when it does.” His warm breath tickled my ear. “Come home.”
I pulled away from him. “Let me make us some coffee.” I pulled my robe tighter as I stood up.
“Jameson’s in the car.” He reminded me.
“You know as well as I do, he’s asleep.” I giggled. “The guy falls asleep after road trips.”
He chuckled. “He would even sleep in the back seat. Remember when we drove up to Kansas City to see that band you liked. He slept the whole way.”
As I scooped in the coffee grinds, I laughed. “I’d forgotten about that trip. It was shortly after you came home from basic training.”
“I haven’t forgotten about one moment together.”
I didn’t respond as I finished getting the coffee ready. When I turned he was leaning against the counter. “How about some breakfast?” If I kept myself busy, I wouldn’t have to think about how stunning he was or how badly I wanted to take him up on his offer.
“You know I went to a therapist.”
I nodded pulling eggs and bacon from the fridge. “I’m very proud of you.”
“He told me I have PTSD.”
After I put the bacon into the pan, I turned back to him. “I kinda figured, but I didn’t want to say anything.”
“You knew?”
I shook my head with a smile. “I’m a nurse. I’ve seen it before, but I didn’t want to say anything because you needed to talk to your doctor about it.”
“Well, you’re right. Then again, I always knew how smart you were.” He flirted.
I tried not to roll my eyes. I turned back to the bacon. “What’s his plan?”
“Meditation of sorts. Breathing exercises. Removing myself from stressful situations. I also talked to Sam. He owns the grocery store on Main Street. He gave him a job. Just a couple of days a week for a few hours. Something to get me back to normal.”
I could have cried right there with happiness. He was getting his life back. He was doing it on his own, and I knew he would make it.
“I want normal again, Molly.”
I fixed him a cup of coffee and then one for myself. “I know you do.”
“I need you to be home with me. My life isn’t normal without you.”
I sat set the cup down in front of him and then went back to the stove. I needed to think clearly, and it wasn’t going to happen if I was close to him. Every part of me wanted him. I loved him beyond any words I could express. He was everything to me. For all these years, he was the only one I could think of being around. Sure I found some guys cute or attractive, but none could take my breath away like Lars. He was my soulmate and I knew it. There was going to be a long road ahead. For him and me.
“I know you’re over there thinking of excuses not to come home with me, but you need to stop it. I’m right this time and you know it. You just don’t want to admit it.”
It was as if he was reading my mind. Then again, he has been that way with me a lot. He could always tell how I was feeling.
“What about my job?”
“You’re a nurse. I know of three hospitals within driving distance of our place.”
“What if the cancer comes back?”
“Then I will be holding your hand every step of the way.”
“What if you relapse?”
“I can’t promise you I won’t, but I give you my word I will try with every part of my soul not to. I know with you by my side I’m stronger.”
I blinked hard to keep the tears at bay. His words kept chopping away at the brick wall I had built around my heart to protect myself. I flipped the bacon and began to crack the eggs. I didn’t say anything. I focused on the food and tried to remember a time I didn’t want this. There were many daydreams I had throughout the past ten years about Lars coming back to me and sweeping me off my feet again and declaring his love to me.
He was sitting at the breakfast bar now. He knew to give me space to think. I plated the food and put it in front of him. I refilled his coffee and then sat down next to him with my plate. However, now I didn’t want the food. My stomach flipped and flopped. I couldn’t live without him anymore and it was going to be a long road ahead for us, but we could make it together.
“Okay.”
He hadn’t touched his food and he turned fully to me. “Okay, what?”
“Okay, I’ll go home with you and try. I can’t promise it’ll be easy and there are going to be a lot of ups and downs.”
“You said try. What do you mean?”
“Lars, I’m different.” I faced him. “You may hate me now but just think you love me. We may start living together and you may come to realize we’re not the same as we were when we married at eighteen. We’ve both grown and come into our own.”
He nodded. “You may be right, but if you’re willing to try then I am too.”
My heart stopped. This was really happening. I was going home with him. I hopped off the stool, cupped my hands around his face and kissed him. It had been so long, longer than I can remember, but he was the same Lars.
He was mine.
Epilogue
Five years later
Lars
“HELLO, I’M LARS and I’ve been sober for four years ten months and twenty days,” I said with pride. It had been a long time since I had a drink and it was because of Molly.
“Hi, Lars.”
“I am here today because I’m graduating college in a few hours. Sounds a bit crazy for me to say that I’m a college graduate, but I am.” I cleared my throat and took a deep breath. “I’m thirty-eight, but I’m not sure I would be here if it weren’t for my Molly. She’s my ex-wife, but almost five years ago, she saved me. Again. She
made me come here and I hated her for it. She made me go to a therapist and trust me, I wasn’t fond of her then either. But with it all, she helped me and I’m here today.
“My life career was supposed to be in the Army. It was all I ever wanted. A protector of our country. However, life didn’t seem to go the way I wanted. I was involved in an ambush and lots of my men died and I was hurt. When I came home everyone welcomed me with open arms, but all I wanted to do was not feel anything. My Molly left me. I couldn’t sleep and barely ate. It was alcohol that fueled me to get through another bottle. And another. And another. Until there were no more feelings.”
I took a deep breath and tried not to cry.
“Now, my Molly is back in my life and I think I love her more than I did before. On top of that, my new career will be working with Veterans with PTSD and helping them get through their day-to-day life. No one knows how crippling it can be with flashbacks, nightmares, and panic attacks that come from out of nowhere. I do know and I’m going to help as many people as I can. All because someone had faith in me when I didn’t have any in myself, and I want to pass it on.”
As I walked out of the AA meeting I felt brand new. Today was more than a graduation for me. It was the day I was going to propose to Molly. Again. When I did it at eighteen, my carefree personality didn’t let me be nervous. Now, I was more nervous than I could ever remember.
“Are you ready?”
My beautiful Molly smiled. She was standing by our car in a dress which stopped just above her knees and hugged her perfectly. Her long brown hair had those soft waves that I loved. Her makeup wasn’t heavy, and it showed off every stunning feature she had.
“Yes.” I kissed her lips softly.
“Here.” With the pad of her thumb, she gently wiped my lips free of the gloss she had on her lips. Then she adjusted the tie which matched the shirt she picked out for me. “I don’t want my graduate to have one stitch out of place.”
I smiled. “Thank you.”
“Come on. You can’t be late.” She took my hand and led me to the car.
I DIDN’T GET my actual diploma today. They’ll mail it, but I still as if I accomplished something I never thought I would. I was not the greatest student and never thought of going to college, but this time it was different. It was something I wanted and passionate about it. Just like when I was in the Army. I worked harder because I wanted it.
I shuffled out with the rest of the graduates until I was outside and waited by the large fountain for my entire family to come. I knew they all were here. Doubled checking my pockets ensuring I still had the ring, I had thought about giving Molly the same ring I did when we first got married, but Mom said not to. This is a new beginning for us and it meant a new ring.
She was right. H
Stacy went with me to pick it out because I didn’t know anything about ring shopping. Honestly, it was easier the first time because it was just a little diamond. At that time, I walked in and told the salesperson how much money I had and he showed me what I could afford. This time it was different. I could get her something bigger and better.
I just hope she liked it.
After standing out there for a few minutes, I began to see my family. Jameson, Rebekah, and my Molly. Everyone began to grab at me with hugs and kisses on the cheeks. It was overwhelming, but I had to remember to breathe and I would be okay. This was my family, they wouldn’t hurt me. It was still hard for me at times, but it was always better when Molly was around.
Finally she reached me and kissed me soundly and I picked her up in my arms. “I’m proud of you, Russian Rocket.”
I chuckled at her silly name for me. “Thank you.” I set her back down and a loud bang went off behind me. I froze in place and my heart stopped.
“It was just a balloon, baby. Look at me.” She ordered softly, stroking my cheek. “Look at me.” Her golden brown eyes brought me back to reality.
“I’m fine.” I told her. “I’m fine.” I repeated to ensure her I really am okay.
“All right.” She smiled.
“But I do have a question for you.”
“Oh. What is it?” She seemed confused.
I pulled the ring box out of my pocket and dropped to one knee. Everything went silent around me. It was only her and me in the world.
“Will you marry me?”
Molly
THERE AREN’T MANY times in my life I could remember being speechless. I’ve always been the one to expect the unexpected and speak what was on my mind. However, with Lars kneeling in front of me, I was officially speechless.
“Huh?” It was the only sound I could make.
“Will you marry me?” he asked again.
I knelt down with him. The past five years have been a fairy tale. We’ve had our arguments, breakdowns, and tears. But most have been laughter, smiles, and love. I had come to terms with not ever being able to give him a family, as he had done. I was okay with turning forty in a couple of years. I loved my job even more since going back to pediatrics. Being around the kids and babies showed me how truly amazing my job was to me. But most of all it had been Lars who brought all of this realization to me.
Our love had done nothing but grow more and more every day and I wanted nothing more to be his wife. Again.
“Of course I’ll marry you.” I kissed him with tears in my eyes.
The family was cheering all around us and we laughed at the attention we were getting.
“Here.” He took my left hand and slid on the most perfect ring. It was heart shaped. “You’ve always held my heart in your hands.”
“When did you become so romantic?” I joked in hopes my tears wouldn’t ruin my makeup.
“All those stupid movies you made me watch.” He grinned.
“I love you, Lars.” I cupped his face.
“I love you, Molly.” He kissed me again.
Our new beginning was just starting.
ABOUT THE AUTHORS
Lila Felix is full of antics and stories. She refused to go to Kindergarten after the teacher made her take a nap on the first day of school. She staged her first protest in middle school. She almost flunked out of her first semester at Pepperdine University because she was enthralled with their library and frequently was locked in. Now her husband and three children have to put up with her rebel nature in Louisiana where her days are filled with cypress trees, crawfish, and of course her books and writing. She writes about the ordinary people who fall extraordinarily in wild, true love.
Born and raised in Illinois Elle Kimberly has been a day dreamer and writer since childhood. A lover of traveling and avid book nerd Elle took the leap to writing professionally in 2016. She is the author of the clean, inspirational romance series Nashua Tigers (to be published late 2017) and co-author with Lila Felix. If she isn’t working on her fictional worlds and characters, she’s holding tightly to her paperwhite kindle and trying to copycat Facebook cooking recipes.
