by Alex Fall
My irritation was really starting to simmer. My arms tingled where Heather held me, plus when she finally let go, she slid down my arms and bumped my hand, causing me to take a sharp breath. It wasn't so gentle a touch as Keegan has in my dreams.
I can't believe I just thought that...
"You're going to have a lot of fun explaining this one away!" Heather said, now with her more usual condescending voice. "Just wait till Hugh sees this!"
"How far is Hugh?" Gus asked.
"Another half hour at least!"
"Guys! Let's move, we're attracting a crowd," Mason pointed out.
Our troop was moved several levels up into a meeting room. Wyatt and Mason were chatting, and Heather was fussing. Gus offered to get me a snack, but all I could think to get was a comfort food, like lemons or sweet bread. Gus was unsure if they had much like that within the building, which only helped my annoyance.
"Can we just get this over with already?" I whined as I flopped into the biggest, most comfortable chair in the room.
"Is she always like this?" Wyatt asked.
"Yep! Every time, no respect. No manners," Heather commented.
"Hey, cut her some slack. She's had a rough life," Gus said.
"Heh, yeah must be tough in your own ship, exclusive human rights, and every human resource for free at your fingertips," Mason mumbled.
"Uuuugh!" I groaned yet again.
"Man, you're really a mess right now," Wyatt chuckled.
"Do we have broadband in this room?" Mason asked.
"No, this floor is down right now," Gus replied.
"We can't start without Hugh!" Heather insisted.
"You still have our report though, right?" Wyatt asked.
"Yes, but that's not so important now that you're back," Gus answered.
"Thanks for letting us know you were coming by the way!" Heather chimed.
"I can't believe you came back within two months. Is this a first?" Mason joked to me.
I covered my face with one of my arms and groaned still again. "Come ON!"
"Sorry honey, sudden meetings don't go so fast," Heather almost sung.
"I don't have to be evaluated or anything like that, right?" Wyatt asked.
"Why would you be?" Gus asked in response.
"Guys, I can't pull up the info on that warp gate you gave me," Mason commented.
"I don't know, tech op loses his job?"
"Should we make a report on her injuries?"
"No, Hugh takes care of that."
"Hey, call the receptionist and let her know to cancel my four o'clock."
"You call her."
"Guys, I need that info."
"So do we need some other crew members in here, or do I count as all of them?"
Their comments and questions began to flood the room. I felt myself sinking, my mood quickly worsening. I made a comment or two just to see if anyone was even listening anymore, but they weren't. I groaned countless more times, only to be ignored. Not much later, I just closed my eyes and had an irritated conversation with myself.
"I'm just going to die here. It's like being in captivity all over again. It's pointless. I should have just stayed with Keegan," I found myself saying.
"Who?" The whole board stopped and asked in unison. Wyatt busted out laughing.
I cussed under my breath and groaned again, but this time for another reason. Of all the comments for them to hone in on, it HAD to be that one.
"That was perfect!" Wyatt sputtered between laughs.
"Who did you say?" Gus prodded.
"That's it, I'm done!" I shouted, rising out of my seat.
"Hey, we still-"
"No! You aren't getting anywhere," I barked. "Set a time in the evening, and I'll come back."
"The evening? We don't meet in-" Heather started to say.
"No, SIT DOWN!" I screeched. The board fell silent. "I'm sick of this charade, like you own me!"
"Erin," Wyatt threw in with a low voice.
"Do you have any idea what I've been through?! Do you want to know why I have these fresh scars?!"
"Erin," he repeated.
I gripped my head to calm the anger, but it didn't help much. "Wyatt! Shut the *cuss* UP!!"
Now the room was truly silent. The whole floor might have been. It sure felt that way. Wyatt swallowed and went forth with his statement.
"We'll set a time...OK? It's probably best if you leave for a bit..."
I drew in a deep angry breath, then let it out slowly. Already my mind began to recite Adjustment Session thirty nine. I turned and excused myself by throwing the door open and leaving. Unfortunately, I was too mad to withdraw so simply. I melted the handle and a small part of the glass door it belonged to off, then chucked it away into someone's desk, effectively clearing everything off the top onto the ground and dumping over a trash can. The loose three people in my path from the meeting room to the elevators left a very gracious amount of space for me to pass by. I got what I wanted, but my conscience nipped at me for it.
Now alone in the elevator, I softly banged my head in the wall and bit my lip because of the condition of my hands. One was broken, the other was scalded. I superheated way too much for that handle. It should have only been a burn line as thick as a pencil, not the entirety of my palm. The elevator door slid open and an innocent office worker, the very same man that got on the elevator with me last time I was here, raised his head as he was about to get on. I raised my head and looked over just the bare minimum to see him. He froze. I know it was because my face still wore wrath. Still resting my forehead against the elevator wall, I glared at him without words until the doors shut and I began to go down again alone.
My palm, it hurt. Badly too. I'm a terrible person. Keegan...why did you fall asleep? Did you have to leave me alone with these people? I can't fit in. I can't behave...I'm sorry. I let you down again. When you wake up, you'll only find disappointment.
Tears collected in my eyes, a mixture of anger and depression. I have to recompose my mask before I make it to ground floor. Only Keegan is allowed to see me cry. He will know how to fix everything, he said so. In the meantime, I need...something. I don't know, food maybe... I need...
The elevator dinged and opened up on ground floor.
I need ice cream! Now!
* * *
This ice cream is outstanding. This was a good decision. I avoided lemon because it surprisingly wasn't that great, but this salted caramel... Magnificent. It cooled my insides and demanded me to wear heavier clothing, but now that I was back in the Decapolis, I had access to such amenities. I just had to be...considerate of the populous here. My presence is frightening to normal people. I think I scared the pee out of that ice cream clerk when I showed up in his shop.
I picked up the pace to my ship. This treat was so good, I bought a couple more pints to bring back to the ship, but if I didn't hurry, it would melt. Today was warmer, but still too cool for my tastes. The forecast showed a drop in the temperature over the next couple of days however. I should replenish my wardrobe while I'm here. Most everything of mine burns up lately.
"Look, its her."
Loose whispers and hidden comments occasionally tickled at my ears. Whenever I showed my face in public, people noticed. And unlike Lenburg, here the people were at least acquainted with my tragic history. Often, out the corner of my eye, or from a distance, or behind my back, people would point me out and say expressions of fear or amazement. It made me uncomfortable. All the time, people cast second glances, gave me space or changed directions entirely to avoid me, and commented at the sight of me. Occasionally some would come up to meet me or get a picture of me, but it still felt superficial. People here had a healthy respect for me, coupled with fear.
"Hey, isn't that...?"
"Yeah. That's Erin. She looks insane."
"Can you imagine how much those burns hurt?" The whispers followed for a moment. I guessed them to be coming from a group of workmates eating outside across the st
reet.
"What would you do if she came over here?"
My mood sunk at the last comment. The next few were overridden by traffic noise, but I still took a moment to turn and glare at them from far away. They seemed to notice, but it didn't cheer me up any. This is why I send the Board to buy my clothes instead of doing it myself. I pulled my thick fleece lined coat up to hide as much of my being as possible and continued down the road.
It would still be hours before Keegan would wake up. How in the world will I burn all that time?
The minutes passed by sufficiently fast on the way to the ship, but once there, time felt like it slowed to a crawl. Reggie and Lori were a bit surprised to see me back, but I relieved them of further work for the day and they left to go do whatever. Now I found myself standing over a sleeping Keegan, eating ice cream. Sharon came back from the lavatory and spotted my ice cream.
"Did that come from here?"
"No. I bought it."
"...is there any left?"
"No. It came in scoops."
"Oh..." She settled down into a couch in the corner and watched me eat longingly. Her smell and Keegan's smell tainted the air, but Vick's smell still saturated the room. I was beginning to associate his scent with death. That's why there's always that absence in this ship now, because I killed him. I must switch subjects before my mood is unsalvageable.
"Do you plan on ever getting out of this ship?" I asked Sharon.
"...huh?"
"Do you plan on just staying in here the whole time we're in the Decapolis? Weren't you excited to see this place?"
"Yes ma'am. But...I don't know where to go."
"I'll have someone bring you to get some ice cream," I said passively.
"Really? I'm allowed to go in there?"
"Yes. No dwellers or benevolents here. Everyone is the same."
"Even other kids?"
Ah, she wants to meet people. "Yes, but I don't know where they are. I don't exactly deal with kids a lot."
Following our talk, I arranged for Lori to take Sharon out and about. Now I was by myself at my ship. And being that I was alone, I took a chance and brought out my cello.
Setting up and practicing took a lot of self convincing. It didn't help that I wasn't as good or steady as I wanted to be. What's the point of having this thing if I'm never going to learn? Still, I had to burn time. It's already very boring, and I still needed to wait some hours. There was little else I could do aside from conditioning, cello, and messing with the digital speakers. However, in my downtime I did make arrangements to begin physical training. I needed to up my performance if I hoped to come out victorious against Lenburg. But the thought of all the work, the collaboration with the Board, dealing with those from Lenburg that wanted to come here, it stressed me a bit. I went and got some sleep meds, then popped open another pint of ice cream. I just wish Keegan would wake up already so we can move on with all of this.
In fact, it was while I was wishing this that I ended up standing over Keegan yet again while eating ice cream. This time he began to stir. These so called "dreamwalkers" don't stir unless they're already awake.
"Hey! Get up already!"
Keegan moaned and buried himself in his pillow. I stood over him and waited. He knows I'm here, he's just trying to ignore me. How does it feel, you jerk? All those times I wanted to be left alone in my dreams and you kept annoying me, there's no way I'm letting you lie here in peace. He moved slowly, taking his sweet time to stretch and rub his eyes. Let me guess...he's not a morning person. Not that this is the morning...
"Bonjour," he lazily greeted.
"Hurry up. My whole day hinges on you getting out of my ship."
Keegan moaned again in reply and scanned me for a second. "Est-ce que la crème glacée?"
"Yes, this is ice cream."
Keegan stared at me with a bit of surprise, but slowly a smile crept onto his face.
Holy...how did I know that was what he was asking? Was I just being observant? I kept my own surprise hidden behind my unflinching face.
"Puis-je avoir?" He asked.
I shook my head. "Sorry, I don't understand you this time."
He pointed to my ice cream, then himself, then repeated, "Puis-je avoir?"
"No."
"S'il vous plaît?" He begged.
I sighed and began walking towards the kitchen area. Keegan rose from his bed unexpectedly fast and followed. He relished the ice cream. He hummed while eating and watched me, likely as a form of thanks. I really didn't want to give it up, but he would punish me later for being greedy. If he eats ice cream for breakfast he is just going to get fat.
"Mm! Violoncelle!" Keegan suddenly pointed. "Tu jouiez!"
I followed his pointer finger until I saw my cello resting in the corner of the room. I had unwittingly left it out. I broke gaze and made eye contact with neither Keegan nor the cello.
"Tu jouiez!" He repeated excitedly and poked me in the belly.
I raised a hand up in defense. "Stop. It's embarrassing me."
"Good." Keegan grinned sheepishly. God, he messes with my head.
I locked onto his eyes and glared. "I thought you didn't speak Anglo..."
Still smiling, he shrugged. "Non." Following his reply, he fell back into eating his ice cream and humming, even slightly dancing to his imaginary song.
"Keegan..." I sighed again and rubbed my face with one of my hands.
"Tu êtes de plus en plus patient." He glanced up to see my reaction (which was nothing, cause I can't understand almost anything he says) then added to his statement. "Il tu rend belle."
"If I ask kindly, may we go know?" I said, getting antsy to leave.
He watched me from the kitchen counter and replied by taking another bite of ice cream.
"Keegan..." I whined. I fell back into a chair and let my head roll back until I was staring at the ceiling. I began to feel my annoyance growing. For his part, Keegan took his time with the ice cream, and rather than announce that he was ready to leave, he opened the ship, tickled me, then ran away. We ended up out by the street by the time I grabbed him and tumbled to the ground. He ended under my knee, in a forgiving submission, but hopefully it reminded him not to toy with me outside of my dreams. Unfortunately, he giggled through the whole thing, despite getting a scrape on his arm, which he rubbed at for the rest of the day.
As we both waited for the De'mus board to collect themselves and call us up, Keegan and I waited nearby the elevators in the main lobby. For whatever reason, he was really giddy today. He repeatedly tried to poke me, play with my hair, or "Bink" my nose, and I swatted him away or ignored him. I noted the presence of a small crowd watching me, and when he poked me yet again, my irritation flared. These people are going to start rumors.
I snatched his finger quite suddenly and twisted until I knew it hurt. "Keegan! Stop!"
His smile transformed into a grimace until I let go. This time, he didn't try again, but rather, produced the laptop and translated something.
"I told you that you are mean when you're awake."
The gall! I squared myself against him and glared. I even felt my fists tighten. "Well if you weren't so unbelievably infuriating..." I growled. Unexpectedly, he stood his ground. He glared back, no smile. Everyone gives in eventually. His spirit is weaker than mine. I know it is...
"Captain De'mus? The Board is ready to see you now," the receptionist chimed.
My eyes narrowed. The distraction was greatly in Keegan's favor. "I bet you think you won this, don't you?" I whispered to him.
His smirk returned, but this time it was blatantly cocky. "Allez," he said and nodded towards the elevator without breaking his gaze.
"Ahem. Shall I tell them to wait?" The sweet receptionist interjected.
"I heard you the first time!" I barked, breaking my own glare to face her. Keegan emphasized his staredown victory by snapping his laptop shut. I shot him yet another look of warning, but he disregarded it and strode towards the elevators wit
h a quick "Allons-y" as he passed.
The air was heavy in the elevator. I stood with my arms crossed, brooding while that piece of gutter trash confidently stood by my side. I was brooding, but to make things worse, my conscience was prodding me to accept that Keegan was right, that I WAS meaner once awake.
"Hé..."
Oh no. He's addressing me. Must keep my irritation under control. I drew a breath through my nose, but made no response nor turned to face him.
"Je suis désolé que je tu contrarié."
No, he's going to use silence to guilt me. I can feel it happening at this very moment! What is he saying? What is he trying to get me to do?! I peeked over at him from behind my hair. He seemed to be smiling in some gentle, maybe even regretful way. How does one person have that many different smiles?! It's so weird and annoying!
Once he saw the blue of my eyes looking at him though, he nodded and returned to waiting for the elevator door to open. Well, botches. I didn't want him to see that I had looked over. I just fall for all of his traps lately...
The doors peeled back and allowed the two of us entry to the meeting floor. I led the way for Keegan to a glass walled conference room, wherein my "caretakers" had gathered. This time everyone was here, and Wyatt looked especially bored.
"Oh thank you, thank you!" Wyatt declared. "I thought I'd never get to leave..."
"You weren't kidding..." Hugh whispered to Heather at the sight of me.
However, the presence of Keegan seemed to stall the usual flow of condescending remarks and sarcastic babble. The Board's attention was torn. Keegan's presence was especially loud in this room because of the setting.
"Bonjour!" He remarked cheerily, inviting himself to take a seat. However, he stopped himself and took the initiative to pull out a seat for me first and graciously wait for me to take position. I inwardly groaned. This is how rumors get started...
"No comment?" I directed at Hugh while I sat down.
"No no, I wouldn't want things to be...awkward," he said.
"The word you're looking for is uncomfortable, which is exactly how I feel when people stare at me in shock and horror," I commented passively as I propped my head against my hand. Keegan flicked the back of my arm for the comment, which earned him another glare of warning.
