by Elaine Hart
“You met Lord Fennell in Paris?”
“Indeed. It was rather romantic.”
Lady Rebecca spent the rest of the lunch conversing with Lady Cassandra, and despite inwardly cringing throughout the entire lunch, she could not help but think what a lovely person Lady Cassandra was. She was kind and sweet, never speaking an ill word about anyone or anything. She was pleasant to speak to, understanding, and not at all judgmental as were many of the young women Lady Rebecca knew.
Lady Cassandra was different, and even though Lady Rebecca scolded herself for thinking it, she could not help but think that Lady Cassandra was truly wonderful.
After lunch, Lady Rebecca left Bradley Hall, unable to keep her emotions intact, and cried until the moment the coach came to a stop at her father’s estate. She wiped away her tears and any trace of her emotions, and entered her family home.
A few days passed without any incident, and she attempted to avoid thinking of Lord Fennell. He was now in the wonderful company of Lady Cassandra, and she would make his days bright and happy. Despite still loving Lord Fennell, Lady Rebecca had decided that it was time to let go. There was no point in dwelling on something that was clearly not meant to happen. She needed to remind herself of that every day until her heart was on the mend.
A week later, Lady Rebecca sat under the trees, reading a new book of poetry which her father had given her, and it had been a refreshing change from the romantic novels she had once consumed. Although there were poems and sonnets of love inside the book, it also contained poems written about life, loss, and dreams, hopes, fears, and everything in between. It made her realize that life did not consist of fairy tale endings and happily ever afters. Real love required hard work, perseverance, sacrifice. No love was perfect and easy, but could only attain perfection through hard work, a concept that was foreign, or non-existent in love stories.
The sun shone brightly in the sky, and despite it being the midst of October, it was still warm enough to sit outside. As she turned the page, she heard a rustle of leaves to her right and she glanced over at it. It did not frighten her much, as she was used to squirrels and even wild hares that accidentally stumbled onto the estate grounds. She paid it no further notice and turned her attention back to her book. The noise grew louder and as she glanced up again, she was rather taken by surprise as she saw Lord Fennell appear from behind the hedge.
Her jaw dropped as she watched Lord Fennell brush the leaves off himself and approached her.
“I remember that hole in the fence was much larger than what it is now,” he pointed out.
“Ten years ago it was,” she said and glanced at her book. “I am quite surprised that you even remember where it was.”
“Please do not be this way,” he said and sat beside her on the grass.
“And which way is that?” she asked.
Lord Fennell was well aware that she was merely hiding behind her book, and he took it from her.
“Give it back,” she said.
“Or what?”
She narrowed her eyes at him and said, “Or I will scream.”
“There is no need for that. I only wished to see you, and speak with you for a moment,” he said with a hopeful smile.
“Fine, speak then.”
He handed her book back to her and smiled. “Lady Cassandra cannot stop speaking of you. She drives me mad.”
“Did she send you?” Lady Rebecca asked.
“No, she is not aware that I am even here,” he answered.
“It seems that there are many things she is not aware of,” Lady Rebecca scoffed.
“I cannot tell her about us, Rebecca.”
“There is nothing to tell. You made it rather clear that I was not important to you after...” her voice trailed and she shook her head. “I refuse to upset myself over this again. It is over, it is in the past, Evan. Can we not simply let it go?”
“I cannot do that, my lady.”
“Why not?”
“Ever since I saw you again, I remembered all the times we spent together, all the laughter, the fun we had. Watching the sunsets and the sunrises together. I even remember the August rainstorm when we had our first fight, and we were both too stubborn to leave.”
“I was ill for nearly a month after that,” Lady Rebecca said.
“And I brought you chicken broth to make you feel better.”
Tears filled her eyes and she glanced at him. “Why are you telling me all this?”
“Because ever since I saw you again, I cannot stop,” he said.
She glanced at him and shook her head. “You should not be telling me this, my lord.”
“I know, but I cannot help it.”
“I was trying to forget you, my lord. I was trying to move on with my life because Lady Cassandra is a wonderful woman, and she deserves to be happy, married to a wonderful man. I was ready to move on and find love elsewhere. You cannot take that from me, Evan. Not again,” she said as a tear ran down her cheek.
“I am truly sorry for the pain I had caused you, Rebecca,” he whispered and gently brushed the tear off her cheek.
“I cannot do this,” she whispered.
He leaned in slowly and kissed her on the lips, but she backed away from him.
“What on earth are you doing?” she shrieked.
“My lady, please—”
“After everything, all the pain you caused me, you still have the audacity to kiss me?”
“It pained me as well. Leaving you was certainly not easy,” he scoffed.
“In your letter you seemed rather thrilled,” Lady Rebecca muttered.
“What letter?”
“It does not even matter,” she sighed.
“Of course it matters. You matter.”
“I cannot matter. Not after...”
“Rebecca...”
“I think you should leave,” she said, despite every cell in her body urging him not to.
He pursed his lips and nodded wordlessly. He stood from the grass and made his way back to the hedges, disappearing through the thick green foliage.
Lady Rebecca glanced with wide and shocked eyes at the hedge and tears now streamed down her cheeks.
Bradley Hall
Exeter
Devonshire
England
Lady Cassandra walked along the grassy lawn towards the meadow and the small lake at the edge of the estate. She felt rather trapped the past week, as she was forced to walk on eggshells whenever Lord Fennell was with her. He was very much distracted and nearly paid her no notice when she spoke. She tried to rationalise his behaviour, but she simply could not understand the change in him. He was certainly not the same man she had fallen in love with a year ago and she desperately needed to figure out why. Taking a walk through the meadow seemed like the most viable option at the moment, even though she was brought to Point Non Plus. She had not been walking for a very long time when she came across a large willow tree and she marvelled at the beauty of nature. She was never aware of the fact that there was a willow tree on the estate, as they were rather rare in this area, but she walked closer. It was a massive tree and the branches and leaves hung down like green feathers. It was truly beautiful and Lady Cassandra smiled slightly. She reminded herself to take a stroll with Lord Fennell before the weather changed. There was a clean patch of grass beside the trunk of the tree, which would be perfect for an afternoon picnic. She walked closer to the tree and ran her fingers along the rough bark. There was a loose edge and as she touched it, it came loose and fell to the ground. She glanced at the patch of smooth wood and frowned as she noticed something was carved into the wood. She stepped closer and gently removed the dry bark from the trunk. She glared at the two names that were carved into the wood and she took a deep breath.
Behind her, she heard the rustling of leaves and she quickly hid behind the trunk. She peered out from behind the tree and watched as Lord Fennell appeared from behind the lush, green hedge and walked briskly back to Bradley Hal
l with a perplexed expression on his face.
After he was out of sight, Lady Cassandra stepped out from behind the willow tree and slowly made her way to where she had seen him emerge. She took hold of a branch and pulled it back, immediately noticing the hole in the fence. She stepped into the hedge, careful not to hurt herself, and glanced through the fence. Tears immediately filled her eyes as she saw Lady Rebecca sitting across the lawn, reading a book.
Lady Cassandra made her way out of the hedge as soon as she could, accidentally scraping her arm against a broken branchlet, but that did not hurt nearly as much as her heart at that very moment.
Lord Fennell marched through the halls and came to an abrupt stop in front of the large painting of him with his parents when he returned from boarding school.
“That was a very proud moment in my life,” the Duke suddenly said behind him and he turned around.
“I can imagine,” Lord Fennell muttered, attempting to calm himself down.
“Your mother thought it was a terrible idea to send you there. She thought it was much too far away and she would miss you too much.”
“But she allowed me to go,” he answered.
“Sometimes we have to make sacrifices, my son,” the Duke said and placed his hand on his son’s shoulder. “You feel tense.”
“I am tense.”
“What is the matter, my son?” the Duke asked.
“I am not certain where to start,” he admitted.
“Start wherever you feel you must,” the Duke replied.
Lord Fennell turned to his father and sighed. “I spoke with Lady Rebecca earlier and she...”
The Duke raised his eyebrows expectantly and cocked his head.
“I care for her, Father. Very much.”
The Duke’s expression changed into one of worry and concern and Lord Fennell noticed it immediately. “I tried telling her that and she is convinced that I am lying.”
“Why would she think that?”
“She mentioned a letter, which I have absolutely no recollection of,” Lord Fennell said. “I did write her a letter. Many for that matter, but I do not believe I wrote hurtful things to her.”
“You did not.”
“Perhaps she interpreted something that I wrote to her in the wrong way and—”
“No, she did not.”
Lord Fennell glanced at the Duke and frowned. “How can you be that confident?”
“Because I was the one who wrote her the letter that she is referring to,” the Duke admitted.
“What?” Lord Fennell gasped.
“I wrote her a letter, posing as you,” the Duke answered carefully and glanced at his son.
“Why?” the Duke exclaimed.
“Because I needed you to split paths.”
“Why?”
“She was not right for you.”
“I loved her, Father.”
“Calf-love is not love, my son.”
“What did you write to her?” he asked, and placed his hands on his hips.
“That she was a distraction and if you were to get ahead in this world, you could not have someone like her to drag you down,” the Duke answered.
Lord Fennel’s jaw clenched and he grew angry. “Please tell me that you are joking, Father.”
“I am not,” the Duke answered calmly.
Lord Fennell ran his fingers through his hair and glared at the Duke. “I cannot believe that you would do such a thing. Was Mother aware of this?”
“Of course not. Your mother would have strangled me with her bare hands,” the Duke answered with a scoff.
“Much like I wish to at this moment,” Lord Fennell muttered.
“You must understand, my son, I did this for you. That girl was a distraction. Running through the halls like a March hare, and singing loudly and off-key. That was not the proper way for a young lady to behave, much less the future wife of a Marquess,” the Duke explained.
“You are a terrible person, Father,” Lord Fennell sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. “She must despise me with her entire being. That is the reason why her letters stopped.”
“Indeed,” the Duke confirmed.
“Let me inform you of something, Father. That young woman whom you thought was a distraction and not worthy of my love, or worthy enough to be a part of this family, is much more deserving than you are. You deceived me, Lady Rebecca, as well as our entire family,” Lord Fennell said angrily.
“Perhaps, but I did it to ensure that you met a woman who is worthy of you.”
“Lady Rebecca has always been worthy of me, Father. You were merely too preoccupied with how a proper lady should act to see what a wonderful woman she is,” Lord Fennell said.
“Perhaps, but it does not matter now. Lady Cassandra is now your betrothed, you are set to be married in April and things are the way it should be,” the Duke said with a satisfied and victorious smile.
“It does not make it right, Father.”
The Duke glanced at Lord Fennell and narrowed his eyes. “It appears that you still have feelings for her.”
Lord Fennell turned to his father and nodded. “Indeed, I do.”
The Duke sighed and approached Lord Fennell with his hands outstretched towards him. “My son—”
“No, Father,” Lord Fennell said and shook his head, causing his father to stop abruptly. “I must be true to myself. I cannot pretend that I have feelings for someone I should, while pretending to not have feelings for someone I want.”
Lord Fennell walked past his father, but the Duke grabbed his arm. “You are making a grave mistake,” the Duke warned.
“I do not care. I cannot live a lie. I cannot be like you,” Lord Fennell muttered and lowered his gaze to his father’s hand. “Now, release me.”
The Duke reluctantly released him and Lord Fennell rushed down the hallway and descended the stairwell.
“My lord,” Lady Cassandra said and he glanced at her.
“What is it?” he asked rudely, but instantly regretted it. It was certainly not her fault he was angry and agitated.
“My apologies, my lady.”
“Do you have a moment to spare?” she asked calmly.
“Is it important?” he asked.
“Of course it is important,” she answered and clasped her hands together.
“Very well,” he answered and glanced down at her arm. “You are injured.”
“It is merely a scratch.”
“What happened?”
“I can ask you that very same question, my lord,” she answered as she noticed the slight scratches on his forearm.
“I took a walk through the garden,” he answered.
“As I did, and I did not see you there,” she said.
“If there is something you wish to ask, please do,” Lord Fennell said with much agitation in his voice.
“I saw the willow tree,” she said simply.
“Wonderful. I had been meaning to take you there,” he said with a slight smile.
“Is that where you took her?” she asked.
“Who?”
“Lady Rebecca,” she answered simply.
“Why on earth would you ask such a ridiculous question?” he asked and turned away from her. “I am in a hurry—”
“I saw your names carved into the tree trunk,” she said and he froze.
He turned around slowly and glanced at her. “I will explain everything to you, simply not now.”
“No. Now, my lord,” she said rather insistently.
“My lady, please—”
“Now,” she exclaimed and they were both slightly shocked at her exclamation.
“Very well. Meet me in the upstairs study in a few minutes.”
“Very well,” she answered with a satisfied nod and as she walked up the stairwell she said to him over her shoulder, “and please do not keep me waiting.”
Lord Fennell sighed as he now knew the truth was about to be revealed, and judging by the expression on Lady Cassandra�
��s face, it would certainly not end well.
Chapter Four
Bradley Hall
Exeter
Devonshire
England
Lord Fennell paced along the length of the study and felt rather agitated. Not only with Lady Cassandra who seemed to badger him regarding Lady Rebecca, but also with himself. He was a coward for not telling Lady Cassandra the truth, and now he would be stuck in a marriage which he did not wish to be in, but pretending that he wished to be.
After he had spoken to his father, things that seemed to not have made sense all those years ago now did. He could not believe that he had been such a foolish boy, allowing his father to dictate his every move. He was certainly grateful to his father for all the opportunities in life, but manipulating him into thinking that he was better than Lady Rebecca was uncalled for. He had to make it right, but how could he when it would mean hurting Lady Cassandra in the process? Despite not loving her the way he loved Lady Rebecca, he still cared for her, and Lady Rebecca was right that Lady Cassandra deserved to be happy.
Lord Fennell did not wish for Lady Cassandra to marry him, knowing that he loved someone else. That would be unjust and unfair to her, and to himself as well.
“My lord,” her voice pierced through his head, abolishing all the thoughts he had and he glanced abruptly in her direction.
“My lady,” he sighed miserably.
She forced a smile and sat on the sofa. “I am not to pretend that there is nothing the matter with you, as even a blind man would notice your detachment.”
“My lady—”
“Please allow me to speak first,” she requested.
“Of course,” he answered with a nod.
“When we met in Paris, I was instantly smitten with you. You were not only dashing and charming, but you were kind and you made me laugh. These are very rare qualities in a man. I thanked my lucky stars every single night for meeting you, and that you fell in love with me as well,” she said with a sad smile. “But something changed in you. Ever since our return to Exeter, there has been something, or someone, on your mind, and as much as I had hoped it was my overactive imagination and my paranoid nature, it was not. There is something holding you back, keeping you from me, and I wish to know what it is. You kept assuring me that it was nothing, or it was something regarding your father, but you lied to me. You lie to the woman you claim to love, and I wish to know why. Why would you lie to me after we promised one another that we would not need to resort to such ways? What could be more important in your life than me? Or should I ask who?”
