I focused on God with all of my heart, mind, body and soul. The connection was stronger than it had ever been in my whole walk with Christ. I started back doing those heavy prayer meetings, dancing and daily devotion. I needed all of that balance for direction, to know and follow his order. I wanted out of my situation, I wanted peace, I wanted a home for me and my daughters and soon to come into the world; my grandchild.
I did what I had to do, hit the pavement hard like my life depended on it and at this point, it did. I was homeless and the lack of financial provision had me feeling worthless when I’d look at Ruby and Sapphire. I had landed me a job at the courtyard to carry my weight until I could get my own spot.
I went to sleep that night, and I saw Lee. He was running from his own shadow as if he were tormented by it. I was calling out to him in the dream. I wanted to protect him from the shadow. I chased it and spoke in a heavenly language until it dispersed into the air. Lee couldn’t see me but I saw him and the weights fell off his shoulders. I looked at him until I knew that he was okay, he sat on a bench that sat on old bricks like streets horses would ride on before our time. Then my alarm clock went off.
I got up and prayed for him like I never before. I asked God to cover and keep him as I always did in the past. I woke up wondering if he thought about me in the same manner that I thought about him.
***********
A month later at the Library, I was on a submitting my school work. I was doing fairly well. I had ended up moving twice until I found something that was livable for Harmony whom had arrived into the world. Still it was a struggle because the hotel money was enough to get by. I hadn’t been in public housing since back home. To catch a breather, I signed up, was approved for Section 8 and found a place right across the city line.
It may have been the month of August and I got me a car. I drove to the library again, got on the site where I met my lover. I went into my in-box and my heart sunk. There was a message notification from Lee apologizing about how things went down. I forgave him a long time ago; nothing else mattered I just wanted my friend back.
You ladies don’t understand, I don’t think that no one ever will; not even Lee. We went back and forth for a couple of days; shortly after we had a very cool and copasetic conversation. It was well worth the time spent apart.
Absence makes the heart grow founder; my heart and emotions were all over the place. I tried to hold it all together but seemed to spill them all over the place. The more we would talk all of those heartfelt and loving emotions would come out. I had no control over the way I handled myself.
I knew this time, not to jump right in and throw my heart at him. I had to discipline myself enough to allow God do his job as I did mine. It was and will always be the grace of God, and prayer that keeps our connection freely activated with favor.
************
Taxes had dropped for the 2013 season. It had been awhile since my mother had seen my grandma. I made the suggestion before Lee and I connected that we should do that. She was becoming of age and it was a lot of mending that needed to take place.
My grandmother was thrilled. The ironic thing about it was that the date and time always aligned around Easter. It never failed. I put my request in, reserved a rental so she could see her great-granddaughter for the very first time. I could have stayed, but I knew that Lee and I had some making up to do.
I had let him know that we would be up that way. And that I would love to see him. He agreed to come and hangout. It made all of the origins of my body open up into a place of bliss and peace.
On April 12, 2013, I and the family were on the road to see the old lady with plenty of children, which derived from one man and woman. The drive was wonderful as we enjoyed the look of the mountains' beauty more than the popping and ringing ears cause by the high altitude. As usual I handed out some chewing gum, and we made it safe and sound to our destination.
When we got to grandma’s house, nothing’s changed but the time that had passed us by. We picked up where we left off. I ran and gave my brother one of the biggest hugs. My auntie had seen her sister for the first time in over two decades. The reunion was emotional and had determined that no matter what; it was a dysfunctional family, but the love was always real.
My brother and I had gone shopping to get granny a good birthday gift; leaving the ladies to bond and gossip on the well-being of the family. Our plans to go to Toledo to see granddaddy had been postponed until the next visit.
We made it back to granny’s house, cooked and celebrated her 71st birthday. She was gifted with many gifts but none was more priceless as all of her immediate family that surrounded her while she blew out the candles. We clapped, and she made her wish. We ate, and I went to go check in to the Wyndham Hotel to prepare for Lee.
I called him and he told me that he was not going to be able to come until the following day. I was disappointed but all the same was okay as long as he could make it before I left. I just relaxed that night, got some rest from that 10 ½ hr. drive.
The next day Lee and I talked for a while as he was on the road already taking care of family matters.That was fine because it gave me enough time to get myself together. I got up and pulled out my romance.
I sat candles all over the studio loft, dimmed the lights and put on some soft music. I went and shaved my beard again making sure there was no real stubble, just in case he wanted to kiss on my neck. I got myself all dolled up and awaited my lover.
We have a thing that we do and that’s intimate pictures, he requested some to see what he had waiting for him.
I remember it as though it was yesterday; I had on a red lingerie that had ruffles going down the middle. My red stilettoes with silver studs on the front and back complimented my skin tone.
He knocked on room 913 and it was all over with; he had all of me as he gave me all of him.
“Oh hell no,” Olivia interrupted, “How are you not going to give us the goods? I know damn well it was more than you and Lee just passing out each other in a flesh to flesh exchange of bodily fluids! If you’re going to be like Usher and confess at least play by the rules and tell it all chic.”
Her and my bridle party went on badgering me about our encounter. Now I will admit; we shared stories about lovers we had but Lee was not my lover. He was everything our bedroom needed no physical or verbal audience. As they badgered my secretive behind; I smiled while traveling back in time mentally to that day and moment with my bae.
He came in the room and looked at my thickness. I knew that he loved what his eye’s had the pleasure to see. I caught an eyeful at his sexy chocolate self. Then I saw him through the window of his beautiful brown eyes and I was open like a can of paint ready to create with him.
He was on his phone and I was anxious to get a hug from him. When he got done he took off his black hat and gave me a hug.
“Wow,” You look amazing Denien.
“Thank You Lee; I have missed you.”
“Turn around and let me see you,” Lee requested.
I put on my diva strut and did a 360 until our eye’s touched and spoke sweet nothings to one another, thinking just take me now. He heard me; I walked over to the bed seductively as I loosen the straps on my heels for his protection as well as mine.
I lay back on the bed and watched Lee peel off his grey short sweat suit like breaking the skin of a ripe banana. I licked my lips. I was ready to take subtle nibbles of his flesh with my teeth and gently pull and lick that milk chocolate until it evaporated into my mouth. My eyes were over taken with so much lust, the room was filled with a red sexual substance that had captivated our minds and had its way with us.
He is walking to me with the bright smile. I smile back as he crawls on top of me. He is rubbing his cock on my panties. They are left with wetness; his bell-head imprint with my cream was perfectly filled in the seat of my thongs like a red velvet cupcake. I was sticky; I pulled one leg up and swung it back and forth.
“Excuse me. I lov
e and appreciate the sexy apparel. Take it off for me please.” Lee said gently. He wanted it skin- to- skin with nothing in the way; not even the white sheets.
I chuckled as nervously as though it was the very first time. The difference is, this time I was ready to go to another level with Lee. This was the fourth time we were intimate and all, unlike other times nothing went wrong. I remember things shifting in the right direction; something happened, and it had a lot more to do with sex.
Chapter 11: Round 1
No more words were said nor time wasted; it was now or never. In the middle of the day the freaks that were supposed to come out at night; made the raunchiness known to any and everyone who may have walked passed room 913.
I took off my garments when I got to my panties he helped me as I lifted my ass and came up out of them guys.
“I’m taking these panties home,” Lee stated.
He folded them up and laid them on the table next to the burning candles.
Lee rubbed his long and plump cock up and down my pussy lips. I gasped for breath. I needed him to enter me; like the earth needs gravity to keep the world spinning on its axles without throwing things out of balance.
He slid inside of me gently opening me up until my essence filled the room. It had been so long since I had been touched for real; the pressure was just too much for my tight pussy to handle his strong thrust. I felt my vaginal walls fill with water. I uncontrollably spit him out and squirted all over us.
He beat my clit like a drummer boy with his penis. I had a female ejaculation and cried out for more of that good dick. He slid back in and went to work. I talked so much shit that it made my nipples hard as a rock.
“Fuck me King,” followed by a well meant, “thank you!”
I remember that cocky look on his face. It was more than confident, if it could talk it would say, “What’s that shit you were talking?”
My eyes closed quickly as I enjoyed every stroke, every kiss on my toes and every touch from his masculine hands encrypted my thinking and nature took its deadly course, Lee killed the pussy.
It was dead with dryness; he screwed out every ounce of my juice like fresh squeezed orange juice that met a thirsty set of lips in the break of dawn. The nympho in me resuscitated my pussy as his thumb seduced my clitoris until my body shook with sexual chemistry; I melted like butter and spilled all over the sheets.
“Turn around and assume the position,” Lee demanded.
“Um,” I got on all fours, tooted my ass in the air and arched my back.
Lee crossed his hands, grabbed my waist from both side and gave the doggy style position a new name. His hand shot my ass like a bombs and guns fired at a soldier’s funeral. I sounded off in sensually painful, pleasurable cries. I knew I was about to be sexually murdered by the hands of Lee’s cock. Through all of that it still didn’t stop the groove.
I looked over at my phone as it lit up, my mother wanted me to take her running around doing some errands. Shit, I ignored all twelve of them calls until Lee and I’s mission was accomplished for now. He got up and hit the shower while I did what I had to do with my folks.
I was rushing, I knew what I had waiting on me in side of room 913. I said my peace and banged out so I could get banged up by my dearest Lee.
Chapter 12: Round 2
I got back to the room, pussy still pulsating and leaking into my panties. I knocked on the door, Lee opened it, and I took off my clothes, walked intimately over to the red couch. I sat across from my only lover; he was looking damn good to me.
I licked my lips; my mind wondered; seduction has made my eyes sensually squint though we’re watching T.V. I want to get bent over the arm of this red couch.
Greedily, I know we just fucked; but I rarely get my lovers touch. I wanted some more of his good dick. It was so good; I wanted to take and get it molded from the sex store.
I open my leg’s just enough for my camel toe to peek through the side of my white panties revealing the fuzz on my peach pie.
I gently rub my fingers up and down his foot. He then looks at the mountain that sat well fitted between my inner thighs. No words were expressed as he flips me on my back like two heavyweight wrestlers fighting for the championship. My strong Leo the lion, my King goes fuck mode in full attack.
Room 913 filled with sounds only fuckers could identify with; in my mind, “Oh shit this is it?”
My back was embedded in the couch; he drilled me so good after his dick was in my hot wet mouth. He made my pussy spit; I grab my legs and spread them “V” formation.
He drilled deeper into my funnel and water released like a broken levy.
“Thank you King, for knowing how to fuck me,” I squealed in pleasure.
“Shut up and take this dick!” He said as he put my toes into his mouth.
I took the dick and enjoyed the fact; I was blessed with a man whom had some competitive stamina just as high as mine. Damn!
He roared as I purred; then he thumbed my spur; I love this man and it shows whenever we sexually converse in these moments; our bodies collide I want to be his nasty nurse His exclusive; private dancer. His cum toilet, sex slave, only love until I’m dead in the grave and his voice of reason! The formula of loves chemistry; his minister and life flow.
“Fuck me harder, King fuck me.”
His strong back pushed the dick deeply into my cervix until it hit rock bottom. I started to grind heavily as I pulled him closer; trying to get his balls and all inside of my pussy. I was unsuccessful the dick was too damn big.
The sounds of wet pussy, slapping against hard dick and the headboard pounding the wall filled the room. I started to cum so hard I thought I was literally going to pass out.
I hear my bridle party scuffling around and calling my name; I’m having an endearing moment that I selfishly refuse to come out of, hell it’s my day. If you took my picture, my smile would be as huge as a Cheshire cat.
My mother is nudging me back to reality because I was being rude to my party. If they only knew; they’d probably shut up and let me enjoy the sweetest taboo.
**********
“Ladies what you have is a woman who is in love. This is so rare and pure that the Lord smiles even when they come together as intimate as worship; it’s pleasing to the creator. Just like worship it is private and we don’t need to know all the details.” Pearl explained to Olivia.
“I get it mama Pearl.” Olivia nodded her head and drinks the rest of her water.
“I don’t think that you do get it, Olivia. It’s easy to share discretions to one another when there is no meaning behind the two individuals. There is no remorse when we as women can exchange stories and talk about our greatest and not so great sexual encounters. But when the value of a man; is so phenomenal with worth and substance. Who would give out all the dirty details?” Pearl gave a quick soliloquy expounding on honoring the bedroom in secrecy and respect, by dropping wisdom on how to keep your big mouth shut.
Olivia got and attitude, “So are you telling me that there is no honor in my marriage because I share sex stories with my friends?”
Peal interjected, “That’s exactly what I’m telling you. Why do you think you and that fella of yours stay in so much mess? You got your so called friends sizing him up, dropping seeds of discord and drama in your life.
Let me tell you this and I’m going to leave it alone. I’m telling you this because I love you as if you were my own daughter. Look back at all the arguments you and him have had in the past; they all have been surrounded by one of your friends dropping salt. Now you tell me if I’m lying.” Pearl stressed the fact woman to woman, about their marital problems.
“Nah you’re not lying,” She put her head down in shame in tears behind mama Pearls hurtful truth as she looked suspiciously at Tammy; her other ace in the hole.
“Girl despite what the world may think I’m your friend. When things look fishy, I’m not going to hesitate to tell you.” Tammy defended herself is such a way that i
t exposed the obvious to everyone in the room except Tammy.
Pearl just shook her head at the dishonor Tammy boldly displayed. She realized that this generation had no real code of conduct in the term friendship; it was a term that was lost, right along with its cousin named loyalty.
Chapter 13: Through the Eyes of Pearl
For those of you that have not been formally introduced, my name is Pearl. Denien is my daughter whom I love very much with all of my heart. For those of you that do know me, you know that I and my child have had some of the darkest moments in life. God has truly answered my prayer and I’m grateful that we are on good common ground.
You ladies probably don’t understand a mother’s love. It may not seem like love at times; you can’t always go by what things may look like. We as women go through so much; growing up as children may not understand until you become an adult.
I was not always there as a mother should be concerning proper provision of her child. My first marriage had me so gone, introducing me to crack. I had an addiction that came first regardless of the needs of my children.
I often beat myself up because of those regretful times and hardships in my life. Like my mother use to tell me, It’s never a regret because at one time; I wanted no matter how hard we as people will try to deny the fact.”
She was absolutely right and I’ll never be combative or debate with her. We may not want to hear or like what our parents say. One day we’ll experience the cold wisdom they displayed for our hard heads. If she was living today; I would bow and tell her how much she was right.
I knew that my struggle with the white man’s drug had imprisoned me for 20 years of my life. I was its obedient slave. It told me to leave my children to fend for themselves; I left and obeyed my master. I worshiped my God and just like Jesus; nothing came before my time with crack.
Religious Love Page 5
