by Kailin Gow
Sebastian nods. “He must be desperate. I told him no. I’ve… learned my lesson when it comes to fading people that young.”
He looks away. Jack doesn’t say anything.
“But you seem desperate to stop him, Jack,” Jonah observes. “It isn’t just the boy is it? What else?”
“Johnny knows things,” I say. “Things about the future that seem very important. Thanks to Johnny, we’re convinced that me, Jack and Grayson all came back from the future, and that we did it for a very specific reason. We just aren’t sure what.”
“And if he’s faded,” Jack continues, “we never will.”
FIFTEEN
Before Jack can go anywhere, Jonah speaks up. “Jack, I think that we have something you need to see first. Celes and Grayson too.”
Which means we have to wait for Grayson to arrive on the small boat, but that only takes a minute or two. Once he does, Jonah leads the way into one of the low buildings hidden in the swamp. It reminds me of Location Six, because almost the moment we get inside, there’s an elevator leading down.
“It was hard work to keep this place from flooding,” Sebastian says as he follows his brother in, “but it was worth it.”
The elevator comes out in a large room below, which is largely empty, with doors spaced evenly around the walls and video screens between them. Those are familiar enough, but what makes me pause is what’s on the walls. There is material there that looks identical to the stuff that was in Senator Hammond’s building. As an experiment, before I can even really think about it, I send a flicker of power into the nearest wall. Nothing happens.
Jack obviously sees it too, because he turns to his uncle. “What’s this?” he asks. “Why do we have the same material here that the senator had?”
“My guess would be that he somehow obtained intelligence relating to our facilities,” Sebastian says. “Though how, I’m not sure. Even among the Faders, this place is highly secret.”
“Which should mean Lionel isn’t a problem,” Jonah adds.
I’m glad about that, but this place still seems strange. “Why build it if no one else knows about it?” I ask. Then I ask the other obvious question. “Why are there all these secret places around? Senator Hammond has that building of his, the Others have their fortress, the Faders have all their Locations… and they’re all these big, reinforced bases. Why not just a normal house somewhere?”
Jonah sighs. “That’s where it gets complicated,” he says. “I can only tell you about our bases, but my stepsister, Jack’s mother, had nightmares for years. They were dreams about the same thing. An explosion so big everything was destroyed. At the time we thought that it meant an explosion on whatever world she had come from.”
“So we built places like this when we started to investigate what we believed to be the alien technology,” Sebastian continues. “We wanted to protect ourselves from anything on a similar scale, stay out of sight, and be able to defend ourselves from the Others.”
“As time went one,” Jonah takes over, “we realized that she had a talent for seeing things that hadn’t happened yet. That’s when we started adding the best heat resistant materials we could to this Location.”
“You made a bomb shelter,” Jack says.
“Exactly. The other bases will withstand a lot, but they were designed as much for defense as anything. This is even more secure against blasts.”
“That still doesn’t tell us how Senator Hammond had the same material,” Grayson says.
He’s right, but I can think of one obvious solution. “Johnny. Johnny must have told him about the material. He must have remembered it from his past… our future.”
Jonah looks at me. “There’s someone else like you?”
His brother cuts him off. “The important thing right now is the fading.” He turns to me. “By experimenting with the power source we found in conjunction with our files on you, we’ve worked out why we weren’t able to fade your memories, Celestra. A block had been placed on your memories, protecting them. Or rather, protecting what is underneath.”
“What do you mean?” I ask.
“Your personality, your identity, seem to have been faded into place.”
That makes sense, I guess. After all, Johnny said that the time machine used fading as a way to imprint the children it created with their personalities. He also said something else that makes sense. “You’re saying that there are layers of memories I don’t have access to yet, aren’t you?”
Jack moves close to me, putting an arm around me.
“We did find something,” Jonah says. “A memory where you are you, but not you.”
“Whatever it is, I’ll be there for you,” Jack whispers. “Remember, you’ve already seen so much of the future with your dreams.”
Grayson moves to the other side of me, his hand on my shoulder. Standing like this, with both of them beside me, I almost feel like someone else, like there are memories of moments just like this stirring within me. “Remember the nightmares you had?” Grayson says. “The ones where you were yelling for people to take cover. It’s the same thing. You need an explanation, Celes. I know you.”
It’s true. I need to know what’s going on. I take a breath and look over to Sebastian. “Can you show me the memories?”
Sebastian nods. “I think so. We have the data. It was simply a question of realizing what we had. Follow me.”
He leads the way through one of the doors dotted around the large entry room. On the other side of it there is a smaller room, with seats at one end and a large projection screen at the other. In front of the screen there is a complex looking projector linked to a computer, with a box beside it. Sebastian goes over to the box, lifting out a data chip and connecting it to the computer while the rest of us take seats.
Images play on the screen. These are bright. So very bright. And familiar too. I may not remember what’s happening here, but somehow I know that these are my memories. The camera is looking out of my eyes, in an office that seems to be too brightly lit, as though it’s a particularly warm summer’s day. I look around, seeing a desk, a computer, and some expensive looking furniture. In this memory, I’m in an office, and it appears to be an important one.
There’s a man standing beside me. He’s in his early thirties, wearing a dark suit that I know from my brief modeling career looks expensively tailored. He’s tanned, muscular, with a leaner face and handsome, but I recognize him instantly. Grayson. The real Grayson’s hand returns to my shoulder as we watch.
There’s something even stranger than that though. In the footage, I look down at the computer screen, and I catch sight of the reflected image there. It’s me. It’s definitely me, but at the same time it simply isn’t. I’m older, the same age as the version of Grayson that we all just saw, with a harder expression that says something serious is going on. Or maybe that’s just how I look all the time in the future.
There is sound to go with the images. That surprises me. The last time I watched something like this, the images were mute.
“Celes,” Gray is saying, up on the screen, “if we’re right, this is the moment that changed Earth as we know it. As you know, we found the old chip in one of our digs, in a Fader Location.”
“I know,” I say, and it’s strange hearing my voice, but not quite my voice, coming out of the speakers. “I was there, remember? Did we get enough off it?”
Grayson nods. “It’s ancient, but the footage is still good. I’m surprised it lasted this long and has such high resolution.”
“But did we get what we’re looking for?” I ask, and the on screen version of me sounds impatient.
“It’s all right, Celes, I want to track him as much as you.”
“I know,” I say up there, “I’m sorry. You’re certain of the time he faded to? I just hope he got close enough to accomplish the mission.”
The older version of Grayson nods. “He’s resourceful. The best we have, but the odds… I think we would have noticed
if he’d succeeded, and you know no one has returned after being faded back. I’m worried that he might have forgotten.”
“We’ve been waiting too long,” I say.
“You want to send more people after him?”
The older me shakes her head. At least, I assume that’s why the image on the screen moves back and forth. “That won’t change anything. You know that the side effects of the machine are too much for most people. We tested it.”
“John had good results,” Grayson says.
I hear the other me sigh. “We need John here to contain the disease. And after him, I tested the best.”
Grayson’s hands are on my shoulders on screen. “You aren’t seriously thinking about doing this yourself?”
“Who else is there?” the older me demands. “Who else can accomplish the mission? We’ve sent enough people back to know what happens to those who aren’t strong enough. The machine’s re-write of their personality locks their memories away too deep. Maybe I can get to them where other people can’t.”
“And what if you’re wrong?” Grayson demands. “You could go back, lose yourself, and we’d still see everything here destroyed.”
There’s a shift in the images on screen. A different memory? No, I realize, just the computer screen playing footage of its own. Footage of people out on the streets. Footage of the explosion. The heat. The light. The terrible, terrible light…
On the screen, Grayson is holding her. Holding me. And I can see the glow around me. It’s so familiar now, the sight of my body wreathed in heat and power, but the older Grayson holds me without being harmed.
“If only people could have escaped,” she says.
The older Grayson shakes his head. “They didn’t have shelters. And they couldn’t have seen it coming.”
I can hear the sound of myself crying then, and in some ways, it’s a relief. It means that the version of me up there is still me. Still totally, definitely me.
“If I leave him there, he dies,” she says up on the screen.
“I know,” Grayson says. “Which is why you can’t go. He knew the risks. We can’t lose you too. I-”
“I don’t care about the risks.” The camera shifts, and it’s obvious that the older me has stood up. “I can’t leave him there, Grayson, but it’s not just that. I can’t let this happen. If we have the power to change this, and we do nothing, then it’s like killing all those innocent people ourselves. You know it is.”
“I know I can’t let you go.”
The older me pushes back from him. “I know how you feel about me, Grayson, and you know how I feel about him. You also know that this is my decision to make. You can’t stop me from doing this. It’s what I have to do.”
Grayson shakes his head. “You’re too important here, Celes.”
“Here I can’t do anything,” the older me says. “Here, I’m just holding things together until they collapse completely. I’m important there, Grayson, because I can stop this. John can handle things here. He can help…”
The footage stops, fading into static. I look over at Jonah, but the scientist shrugs.
“I’m amazed we got that much.”
“But what does it all mean?” I demand.
“I know.”
I look around, and Jack is standing. The look in his eyes is haunted, and he’s paler than usual. “I know. I know what it means.” He looks at me. “Celes. President Celestra Caine. I remember.”
SIXTEEN
Jack takes me by the shoulders, kissing me. I can practically feel Grayson’s eyes on us, but right then I don’t care. Jack certainly doesn’t. He kisses me until I think he might never stop, only pulling back when Sebastian Cook coughs pointedly.
“I remember, Celes,” Jack says. “I remember everything. At least, I think I do. The mission. You, me, Grayson and John. All of it.”
He looks around the room almost like he’s seeing it for the first time, and his eyes fix on Grayson. He moves over and claps him on the shoulder. “You came after me with Celes, buddy. I wouldn’t have thought you would. I’d have thought you’d have found a way to keep her there and be happy. I know you’ve always had a thing for her, even though Celes and I are together.”
Grayson looks at him like he can’t quite believe what he’s hearing. I’m not sure I can either. “Are you trying to tell me,” Grayson says, “that we’re friends in the future?”
Jack nods. “Best friends. We have been for years. We went to the same college, then to the Academy together. Celes too. She was the strongest of us, of course, with the best abilities. Not to mention the highest marks. But then, I guess that was pretty easy to see coming. She always was smart as well as beautiful.”
He moves back to me. “It’s strange seeing you like this, Madame President. I can remember the older you at the same time as seeing you like this. With you so young… it’s like reliving college.”
He kisses me again, and it’s another good kiss, but this time I pull back.
“What is it?” Jack asks.
“It’s just… which version of you are you at the moment?” I reply. I need to know. The future me might be in love with the future Jack, but right now, if he’s a completely different person, then that complicates things.
“I’m me,” Jack says, taking my hand and putting it on the center of his chest. “I’m always me. I’m exactly the same guy who walked into this room with you, and who took you out of your life months ago. I haven’t changed, Celes. The whole way the fading machine works means that I can’t change. The personality it imprinted in me is me, just the same, in the past or the future. I remember more, that’s all.
“So what do you remember?” Grayson asks. “And why do you keep calling Celes ‘Madame President’?”
Jack shrugs. “Because she is. Or she will be. President of the United States, not to mention our best hope of containing the crisis in the last days of humanity.”
“You remember that?” I ask. “You know what’s going on?”
“I know some of it,” Jack says. “I may not have all the detail… I’m not sure I ever knew all the detail, but I know enough. I know what I’m here to do.”
“And what’s that?” Sebastian asks. What must it be like for him? What must it be like, with a son he thought of as his own, whom he brought up as his own, but who is really the result of a futuristic form of time travel? What must it be like, confronting the fact that everything he thought he knew about his own son is wrong? Pretty much the same as the way I’m feeling about Jack right now, I’d guess.
Jack looks grave again, the way that he did after seeing the footage his father and uncle had recovered from my head. “I’m here to prevent the end of the world.” He looks round at me and Grayson. “I guess we all are.”
“The literal end of the world?” I ask.
Jack shrugs. “You saw it, Celes. You saw the great disaster. The Apocalypse. Millions… billions of people dying. And that’s just the first phase of it. The initial disaster has knock on effects. It kills so many people, but it isn’t quite the end of the world. In our time though it looks like we are heading for that.”
“Which is why we came back,” I say.
Jack nods. “Us and so many others. They all tried to change things, and they either got the timing wrong, or they weren’t able to overcome the effects of the fading machine enough. Who knows how many of them there are walking around the world, believing that they are just normal people, with normal families? In fact, with the way the fading machine works, they are normal people with normal families.”
“What do you mean?” Jonah asks. I can hear his scientist’s interest in the advanced technology the fading machine offers.
I explain a little based on what Johnny told us back at Senator Hammond’s place. “People can’t travel through time directly, but the machine effectively re-creates us in the past, as babies.”
“Which means that we have to grow up as normal,” Jack says. “The machine imprints us with our
personalities, but could you imagine being a newborn baby with the full knowledge of everything that was going to happen? It would drive you mad. An infant brain isn’t developed enough to deal with the full adult self, so that part is… locked away is the wrong way to put it. Put into storage, maybe? Which is where the problems start.”
“I’m not sure I understand,” Sebastian says.
Jack gestures vaguely, as though trying to capture something impossible. “The memories are meant to come out, but in most people, the imprinting of the base personality is too strong. The lives they live here get in the way so much that all those old, locked away memories stay like that. At best, they get dreams and senses of things being subtly wrong. The implanted memories of their future selves don’t come through.”
“My fading you can’t have helped,” Sebastian says, the guilt obvious in his voice.
Jack shakes his head. “I think that’s part of why I couldn’t cope after what happened.”
What happened. The death of the woman he thought of as his mother, murdered by the Others when they believed her to be something evil and non-human.
“I had too many memories,” Jack says. “Too much trying to come through when I was so upset.”
“I’m sorry,” Sebastian says.
Jack shakes his head. “That doesn’t matter now. What matters is the Apocalypse. The one now, and the damage it causes in the future.”
“Will we be safe here?” Jonah asks. “We built this Location because we knew there might be dangers, from your mother’s dreams, from the way the world has been changing, but will it be enough?”
I nod. “It was in the footage, remember? In my buried memories. We found the information in one of the old Locations, so it must have been enough to protect things at least a little. It sounded like it was pretty hard to find though.”
Jack nods. “I remember it was hard to pin things down. Hard to find what we needed. Even I went as much on a guess as anything. We knew what the event was, but we couldn’t be precise about when it happened.”
