by Gina Wilkins
“I’m glad to hear that. I know it was bothering you. You need the support of your friends now.”
“That’s what I told them.” She pulled the band off the end of her braid and loosened her hair. “Are you still feeling sick, Liam? Your color doesn’t look quite right.”
He shrugged. “I’ve had some nausea since dinner, but I think it’s passing now. Still fighting that bug, I guess. I hope you don’t get it. You certainly don’t have time to be sick right now.”
She laughed wearily, though she made a mental vow to get him to a doctor the next day if he wasn’t feeling better by then. “Tell me about it. I’ve been obsessive about washing my hands. Maybe I’ll get by without catching it.”
“I hope so.”
“I’m going to wash my face and put on some pajamas and spend a couple of hours going over my notes before bedtime,” she said, moving toward the bedroom doorway where he still stood. He moved aside to allow her past him. “Maybe we could have some soothing tea or something before—”
She came to a sudden stop when she saw the bags sitting beside the bed. She turned slowly to face Liam, her heart beginning to thud in dread. “Are you going somewhere?”
He stood very still, his face grim, one hand pressed against his stomach. “I’m going back to New York. My flight leaves at five-forty in the morning. I hate to disturb you that early, so I’ll bunk on the couch for a few hours, then head out at about three-thirty in the morning or so.”
She tried to process what he was saying. “Is there some sort of problem there? Are you coming back after you’ve taken care of it?”
“There’s not a problem in New York,” he said, his voice very gentle. “The problem is here. I think it’s time for me to go.”
She reached out blindly, groping for support. Her hand fell on the top of the dresser, which she gripped tightly. “I don’t understand.”
What might have been impatience flashed through his eyes. “I don’t see how you can say that after what happened at the restaurant tonight.”
“Nothing happened. My family didn’t see us.”
“No. But it was pretty much a miracle that they didn’t. Do you know how bad that would have been if we’d come face-to-face with them there? Maybe no one else in the place gave a damn who I was, but do you think your dad would fail to recognize me?”
She swallowed hard. “No. Dad would have known you right away.”
“Damn straight he would. And he’d have blown a gasket right there in front of everyone.”
“He wouldn’t have caused a public scene.” Anne wished she could be a bit more certain of that statement. “He wouldn’t have wanted to embarrass my mother that way.”
The mention of her mother made Liam’s face tighten even more. “That was the first time I’ve seen your mom since her stroke, you know. It’s no wonder you’ve been so protective of her. She seemed very…fragile.”
Anne moistened her lips. “She’s stronger than she appears. She always has been.”
“That may well be, but I’m not going to be the cause of her having a setback. I’m clearing out before the inevitable happens. It was foolish of me to think I could live here with you and not have anyone find out. We’ve just been lucky so far. Especially lucky tonight.”
“So, we’ll tell them. We’ll tell everyone,” she said rashly. “I told you I was almost ready.”
He shook his head. “You don’t really mean that. The timing is still all wrong.”
Shock began to morph into anger. Letting go of the dresser, she planted her hands on her hips. “I’m beginning to think you’re the one who is so anxious to keep our marriage a secret. Why is that?”
He frowned. “We’ve gone over the reasons a hundred times. Your family. Your studies…”
“Yes, those were our reasons originally. But I can’t help thinking you’re using my excuses to camouflage your own. Why do you really want to keep this secret, Liam? Is it your career? Are you afraid being married will negatively affect your fame in some way?”
“I don’t worry about fame,” he muttered, both arms crossed over his stomach now.
“Of course you do. That’s the career you’ve chosen. While it might not be something I seek, I do understand that publicity is an important part of your job. But other TV hosts and travel writers are married, and it doesn’t seem to hold them back.”
“I’m not concerned about that,” he repeated stubbornly.
“Maybe you have more personal reasons for wanting to be seen as an eligible bachelor.”
Temper darkened his narrowed eyes to charcoal in response to that pointed suggestion. “Are you implying that you don’t trust me, despite the promises I’ve made to you?”
“The promises you’ve made in secret,” she shot back at him.
“Damn it, that has nothing to do with it. I don’t break my word.”
“Is that it? Are you feeling trapped by those promises? Is that the real reason you don’t want to tell anyone? Because you don’t want to go through a public breakup like your buddy Cal Burlington?”
“He’s not my buddy, and he’s got nothing to do with us! You’re the one who asked me to keep this marriage a secret less than a month after we exchanged vows. I’ve lived up to my part of the bargain. You knew when I arrived that I wouldn’t be staying long. I’ve already been here longer than either of us expected when I arrived. Why are you acting so surprised that I’ve decided it’s time for me to go?”
She drew a deep breath, trying to calm herself. She supposed Liam asked a reasonable question. They had agreed from the beginning that he wouldn’t stay long. And yet…
And yet she hadn’t expected him to leave so abruptly. To spend his last night there dozing on the couch so he could leave before dawn the next morning.
Before she could form a reply, her phone rang. Glancing at the clock, she saw that it was just after nine when she pulled the phone from its holder. She grimaced when she saw the number displayed on the screen. “It’s my father.”
“Of course it is,” Liam muttered, and turned away.
She didn’t take the time to ask him what he meant by that. “Hi, Dad.”
“Are you at home? Am I interrupting a study session?”
She pushed her hair out of her face. “No, I just walked in a few minutes ago. What’s up?”
“Actually, I’m calling because of a talk I just had with your mother. I could tell something has been on her mind tonight. When I asked, she said she was sure she’d seen you at the restaurant where we had dinner tonight. She thought you were there looking very cozy with a man, but when she turned to make sure it was you, whoever it was had already gone.”
“I, um—”
“I might not have thought much about it, but I ran into Mike Haverty at the club earlier this week and he said he saw you out with some man at what appeared to be a romantic dinner for two last Friday night. Are you dating someone you haven’t told us about?”
Several possible answers whirled through her mind. The truth. A carefully worded prevarication. The very valid response that her personal life was none of her father’s business at this stage.
She’d thought she’d set that sort of boundary when she’d moved out on her own, insisted on handling her own finances and other business affairs. Yet here he was calling her and grilling her about who she was seeing, just as he had when she was in high school. And in college, she recalled with a scowl, thinking of all the heated arguments they’d had about Liam then.
She chose to respond with a combination of all of the above. “I do go out occasionally, Dad. I’m an adult, remember?”
As if her words had given him a clue to the reason for the phone call, Liam paused in the act of moving away and turned back toward her with a searching look. She shook her head to indicate that it was okay, she was handling this. He didn’t leave.
“I know you’re an adult, but I’m also well aware of what your schedule is like right now. With your classes and pending exams, I fi
nd it hard to believe you have many free evenings for socializing. You’ll have plenty of time for that sort of thing after you pass your licensing exams.
“Although, of course, you’ll be quite busy with rotations for the next two years, and the first year of your residency will be very demanding. A surgeon’s schedule makes it a challenge to maintain relationships, as you know from my own example, but you’re still very young. You’ll have plenty of opportunities later to find someone who will understand the demands on your time. Someone like your brother found. Perhaps another surgeon.”
He was planning her entire future for her, she thought with an exasperated shake of her head. Scheduling a romance for her—preferably with another surgeon—some five or six years in the future. “Perhaps you’d like to find someone for me, when you think the time is right, of course? Maybe you’ll even let me meet him sometime before the conveniently timed wedding you arrange for me.”
“Now, Anne, there’s no need to take that tone.” Her father sounded rather startled by her atypical sarcasm. “I’m simply trying to give you advice, as a caring parent. I’ve been through surgical training, and I know exactly how demanding it is, and how hard it is to sustain outside relationships while going through that hard schedule. I’m just trying to spare you some of the mistakes I’ve made in life.”
“I appreciate your concern, but I’m going to have to make my own decisions. My own mistakes. I will always value your advice, but it’s still my choice whether to follow it.”
She drew a deep breath, then blurted, “I haven’t even decided for certain that I want to be a surgeon. Maybe during my rotations I’ll find another field of medicine I’ll want to pursue instead.”
It was the first time she’d admitted that she was considering other options. To her father—even to herself. The closer she got to having to decide what sort of doctor she wanted to become, the less certain she was that surgery was the answer.
“Of course you want to pursue surgery.” He seemed stunned that she would even consider any other path. “You have a real gift for it, inherited, I’m sure, from your grandfather and me. Sam Burkhaven told me he was very impressed with you so far.”
She supposed she should have been surprised her father had sought out her preceptor, but she wasn’t really. He’d have taken the position himself had he been allowed to do so with his own daughter. If it were up to her dad, he would be supervising every step of her education to make sure it met his expectations.
“I’m not ruling it out. I’m just saying that the final decision is mine. And when I make that decision—when I make any decisions regarding my personal life—I’ll expect you to acknowledge my right to do so, and to support me in whatever choices I make. I think that’s a fair request.”
“Of course I will always support you, Anne. Just as I always have,” he added stiffly.
It was amazing how blind people could be about their own behavior, she mused with a faint sigh. She looked at Liam as the thought crossed her mind.
“Just keep in mind the things I’ve said to you tonight,” her father couldn’t resist saying. “If you are dating someone, I hope you’ve made it clear to him that your career has to come first now. This guy isn’t the reason you’re suddenly having doubts about surgery, is he?”
“No, Dad. I’m the only one making the decisions about my career.”
“Good. Because boyfriends come and go, so you should always be in control of your own life. I’ve raised you to be an independent, self-sufficient woman who doesn’t need a man to take care of her.”
“Yes, you have.” She almost added that she didn’t need him to do so, either, but there was no need to hurt his feelings when he was only acting out of concern for her best interests.
Maybe she’d drawn her boundaries a little more clearly during this conversation; more likely, she would have to do so many more times before he finally got the message. Especially when she finally informed him that she was a married woman, and had been for quite some time—if that day ever came, she thought glumly.
“I need to go,” she said, trying not to sound too abrupt. “I have some more studying to do tonight. I’ll talk to you later. Tell Mom not to worry about me. I’m fine.”
“Maybe you should come for dinner this weekend. I think we should talk some more about all of this.”
“We’ll see. Good night, Dad.” She disconnected before he could say anything else.
“Did they see us?” Liam asked as soon as she set her phone aside.
“Not exactly. Mom thought she caught a glimpse of me. And one of Dad’s friends saw us at the restaurant Friday night.”
Perhaps they had been naive to think no one would ever see them. Except for her time away for college and the months she’d spent in Europe, Anne had lived in this area all her life, and her parents were prominent members of society. It was no surprise that she would run into someone she knew almost anywhere she went.
“What did your father say?”
She shrugged. “Just the usual paternal warnings about keeping my focus on my studies and not letting myself get distracted by romance.”
Liam made a sound that was half snort, half growl. “Does he really think you’re so helpless that you need him to supervise everything you do? This is exactly why I said you should have called me rather than him when your car broke down. He sees every request for assistance as an invitation for him to make all your decisions for you.”
She looked pointedly at the packed suitcases sitting by her bed. “As opposed to you?”
Liam flushed, the angry color standing out against his pale, somewhat clammy-looking cheeks. “Don’t compare me to your father.”
“Why not? You’re both so certain you know what’s best for me. When I need to study, when I need to go out, when I need to eat or sleep, even when I should be married—at least openly married. All for my best interests, of course. Now tell me again that you aren’t like my father.”
“I can’t believe you said that. I have never tried to control you the way he does.”
“Not deliberately, perhaps.”
“Not at all,” he insisted.
She shrugged, seeing no end to that particular back-and-forth argument, especially since she was growing increasingly convinced she was right.
“Do you really dislike my father so much?” she asked instead, wondering if that was the reason he was so annoyed at being compared to the other man.
“Why should I feel any other way about him?” Liam asked in seething frustration. “He hated me the minute he first laid eyes on me. He’s blamed me for everything that ever went wrong in your life. If he knew I was still around, he’d blame me for the way you just stood up to him, and for any doubts you might have about following the path your father laid out for you practically at your birth. He would do everything he could to convince you to dump me now—for your own sake, of course.”
She crossed her arms over her chest, where her heart ached. Liam still had his locked arms pressed to his middle, as if their conversation was causing him as much pain as it was her. “And after we tell them the truth? That you are still a part of my life? How will you deal with him then?”
The question seemed to surprise him a little, as if he hadn’t given much thought to that eventuality. “I don’t suppose I’ll have to deal with him at all,” he said after a moment.
“You think he’s going to throw me out of the family, perhaps? That he’ll never want to see either of us again?”
“Well, no. I don’t think he’ll go that far. Probably. I’m sure he’ll want to see you again, once he gets over his pouting that you dared to make a major decision without his guidance. But I’ll still be gone a lot during the rest of your medical school experience and when I’m with you, we can do what we want, on our own terms.”
“So you don’t see yourself attending Christmas dinners with my parents, or birthday parties for my granddad or family cookouts in the summers or weddings and funerals and other family event
s?”
His eyebrows rose. “I hardly think I would be welcome to attend those events.”
“Then you’ll have to take steps to make sure that you are welcome, won’t you? Because once you and I are openly married, my family will also be your family.”
The way he almost physically recoiled from that statement made a light flash in her head. “That’s the real reason you don’t want to tell them, isn’t it? Because having my family know about us means they’ll become a part of your life, too. You’re doing everything you can to prevent that.”
“I didn’t marry your family. I married you.”
She shook her head. “That’s the most naive thing you’ve said yet. My family is a part of me.”
“Looks to me like your family causes you more pain than pleasure,” he muttered. “They put so much pressure on you that you’re always on edge after spending time with them. They criticize your choices. You couldn’t even tell anyone about us because you didn’t want to deal with their reactions.”
“I still think it would have been the wrong time to tell them while Mother was in the initial stages of recovery from her stroke, but I should have told them since. I suppose I was being a coward.”
She surged on before he could respond. “My parents aren’t perfect, Liam. They make mistakes. But they are my family and I love them.”
He cleared his throat. “I can understand that. Hell, I was fond of my dad, and he was no one’s idea of a great father.”
Sadness made her heart feel even heavier. Did Liam really think she would ever be content to have the same sort of distant, coolly civil relationship with her parents that he’d had with his father? “I thought you understood from the beginning that I would always be close to my family.”
He pressed a hand to his stomach, as if this argument escalated the discomfort he’d mentioned earlier. “You said when you married me that you were making a choice. That you chose me over their expectations for you.”
