He cleared his throat, searching for a starting point. “When I saw you at San Ysidro the first time, I knew you were Sasha’s sister. I didn’t send you to secondary inspection for selfish reasons.”
“Such as?”
“I suspected you were involved in Moreno’s smuggling operation, especially after I saw Chuy Pena at your house.” His gaze was steady. “I thought I might be able to get close to Moreno through you.”
“By sleeping with me?”
“Yes.”
She wasn’t impressed by his honesty. He couldn’t win her over by telling her something she already knew.
“Then I began to feel conflicted,” he said. “I liked you, on a personal level, much more than I expected to. Your store got vandalized and I realized that I cared about you. I wanted to protect you.”
Her temper sparked at his words, fueled by pain and loss and adrenaline. “You cared more about catching Moreno than protecting me and you know it. You asked me out because you wanted him, not because you wanted me. You attached a GPS to my van to track my movements.” She jerked her hand from his hold, counting his sneaky actions on her fingertips. “You lied to me and spied on me and played me like a pawn.”
A muscle in his jaw flexed. “You lied to me, too.”
“I lied in self-defense because I didn’t know what else to say. You did it as a strategy, planned and premeditated.”
He rolled his left shoulder, appearing guilty. “You’re right, and I’m sorry.”
She didn’t accept his apology.
“After Sasha’s body was found at San Ysidro, we followed the real shipment to the drop-off location. Moreno was there. I chased him for a few blocks and we ended up in an alley, just the two of us. I could have taken him out. Before his sharpshooter got into position, we were alone. He mentioned Penelope, baiting me. I had my gun pointed at his head and I was very, very tempted to execute him.”
“Why didn’t you?”
“Because of you. I pictured the way you looked at me after they cuffed you, like you were dying inside. I know I caused that, and I didn’t want to be … consumed by hatred anymore. Killing him wouldn’t solve anything. It wasn’t worth it.”
She waited for him to continue, her throat raw.
“For the past few years, I’ve fantasized about that moment a thousand times. I lived for the chance to take him down. But when the opportunity presented itself, I couldn’t stop thinking about you. I’d already lost Penelope. I didn’t want to lose you, too.”
“I don’t understand.”
“You mean more to me than vengeance.”
“So … you let him go?”
“No, I took out my handcuffs to detain him and came under fire. After the second shot, he got away.”
Kari couldn’t believe what she was hearing. Waves of sorrow and frustration crashed over her, scattering her already turbulent emotions. “You had him right there in front of you, and you couldn’t pull the trigger?”
Adam frowned at her, as if she was missing the point. “I was tired of living in the past, fantasizing about murder. I wanted to move beyond that, let go of the memories. Don’t you see? I did it for you.”
She ran a shaky hand through her hair, laughing harshly. “You shouldn’t have.”
He seemed to think she should feel honored by his decision. “Would you rather I’d murdered him in cold blood?”
“Yes,” she said, lashing out at him. “He ruined my sister’s life! He fed her addiction, and fed it, and fed it. He’s responsible for dozens of drug overdoses and street killings! You decide to go soft on him after an attack of conscience—your first, by my account—and I’m supposed to be happy for you? Well, I’m not, Adam. I wish you’d killed him. I wish you’d done it a long time ago. Then my sister would still be alive. The fact that she’s dead and you let him get away makes me sick.”
“It makes you sick,” Adam repeated, his brow furrowing.
“Yes. How could you think I’d be proud of your restraint? You lied to me and used me for nothing.”
“Damn you,” he said, his teeth clenched. “That was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. And it wasn’t for nothing—it was for you. I let go of the past because I wanted a future with you.”
Kari couldn’t process anything beyond his failure to apprehend Moreno. It felt like a dousing of ice water, a shock to her system. Cold sadness filled every inch of her heart, leaving no room for forgiveness. “You shouldn’t have,” she repeated.
He studied her for a long moment, pain etched into his face. She felt distanced from his misery but strangely satisfied by it.
She’d wanted to hurt him.
Before she could change her mind or start to feel guilty about her own dealings with Moreno, she muttered a terse goodbye and walked away.
* * *
Ian came back into the room as soon as Kari left. “Did she say anything about Maria?”
Adam shook his head.
“How did she know you were here?”
“She never said.”
“Jesus, Adam. What did you two talk about, the weather?”
He reclined in the hospital bed, his ego still smarting from her harsh words. “You didn’t have to pat her down.”
Ian gave him a disgruntled look. “Are you serious? I’m here to protect you in the likely event of an assassination attempt. I’d have patted down your sister if she’d showed up unannounced.”
Adam knew Ian was just using Raquel as an example, but he was in a very dark mood. He’d hated the sight of Ian’s hands on Kari, and didn’t appreciate the reminder that those hands had once been on Raquel. “Don’t talk about my sister. Ever.”
“Now you’re starting to piss me off. I didn’t disrespect your girlfriend or your sister. I have no interest in either.”
“If you had no interest in Raquel, maybe you should have stayed away from her.”
“Oh, shut up. She jumped on me after getting drunk at her best friend’s wedding. It didn’t mean anything. The only reason we went out a few times was to make it seem less like a one-night stand.”
Adam hadn’t known that, and he wanted to punch Ian in the face for sharing personal details about Raquel in such a glib manner. He supposed he was a hypocrite, but he hated the thought of anyone treating his sister the way he treated most women—casually.
“We knew it would never work, anyway,” Ian muttered. “Because of you.”
“Because of me?”
“Because of our friendship, yours and mine. She didn’t want to come between us. Now can we move on, for Christ’s sake?”
He shrugged, feeling surly.
“What did Kari say?”
“That I make her sick.”
Ian’s brows rose. “Do you care?”
“Of course I care! I’m—” Adam broke off, shaken by the realization.
“You’re what?”
He was in love with her. “I wish I could have called her.”
The corner of Ian’s mouth tipped up. “This is ironic, isn’t it? You’ve spent the past few years sleeping with women you never speak to again. Then you find one you actually want to call back, and you can’t.”
Adam’s chest ached from the blows Kari had dealt him. “I suppose I should have avoided sex altogether, like you,” he said, annoyed with his friend’s self-righteous attitude. “You’ve spent the past few years pining for a woman you’ve never even slept with. How’s that working for you?”
“It’s not,” Ian admitted, checking his text messages. “According to the reception desk, Kari asked for Armando.”
Adam straightened. “What?”
“That’s why we got a notification to be on alert.”
“Well, fuck!”
“Do you want me to follow her? She’s probably in the parking lot. I can’t run fast, but I can still run.”
“Go,” Adam said.
Ian rushed from the room, his limp barely noticeable. Adam wanted to leave with him, but he couldn’t abandon his post. Ian w
as a free agent, his own man. He’d offered his bodyguard services as a favor to Adam.
After everything had gone to hell at the border, Adam’s boss had been furious. While Adam was in the hospital getting chest X-rays, Pettigrew had hatched a new plan. He’d ordered Adam to play the part of Armando Villarreal in hopes that one of Moreno’s crew members would come back to seek revenge.
Adam was offered one chance at redemption—and he took it. He knew that Pettigrew would suspend him, maybe even fire him, if he declined.
It was a very sensitive operation. He’d been allowed one phone call, to Raquel. There was no way he could have spoken to Kari in person. He’d taken a huge risk by asking Ian to send her a message. If word of his unnecessary hospitalization got out, it could have jeopardized the mission. Adam was supposed to be lying low.
Kari would probably hate him forever, and he didn’t blame her. When he’d agreed to Pettigrew’s plan and promised not to contact Kari, he’d known there would be grave consequences.
“Goddamn it,” he muttered, wishing he’d had more options. He was probably going to get fired anyway. Ready to walk out on his professional responsibilities, he paced the room. If Kari was in danger, he couldn’t sit tight.
Ian called a moment later.
“Where are you?” Adam asked.
“On the freeway. She lives in Bonita, right?”
“Right.”
“She passed that exit. Looks like she’s headed toward the border.”
Adam clenched his cell phone in a death grip. His mind raced with possibilities, none good.
“Maybe she’s working with Moreno.”
“No,” Adam said, refusing to consider it.
“Because she’s never done that before?”
“She didn’t have a choice!”
They both fell silent as a disturbing thought occurred to them simultaneously. What if Moreno had manipulated Kari again, using the last person in the world she cared about?
“Maria,” Ian breathed.
“Don’t do anything crazy,” Adam warned, his stomach roiling with tension. “Keep following her and stay in contact with me.”
“What are you going to do?”
He yanked off his hospital gown and pulled on a pair of jeans. Kari needed him. Ian needed him. To hell with Pettigrew. “I’m leaving right now.”
23
Maria found a chance to use her syringe later that afternoon.
While the cat was away, the mice were definitely at play. Since Moreno left to run his errand, Chuy and the rest of the crew had been using drugs openly and discussing an uprising. There was a lot of big talk and nervous laughter. Chuy thought Moreno should step down. The current boss was in mourning, unable to rule with an iron fist.
Chuy’s comrades didn’t argue with him, but there was something lukewarm about their responses. They didn’t laugh as loud as Chuy, or as long. Maria got the impression that they were just humoring him.
Later, when Moreno returned, there would be hell to pay. If Maria could hang on until then, she might get out of this alive.
Unfortunately, she was the only woman in the house and Chuy hadn’t forgotten her. “Here’s a perfect example of his lack of balls,” he said, disparaging Moreno again. “We’ve got a sweet-looking muñequita downstairs and we can’t touch her.”
They men grumbled a vague agreement, ribbing each other about who needed to get laid the most.
“What’s he going to do with her?” Chuy continued. “No one has ever been held there and come out alive.”
This statement was met with silence. Suggesting rape was all fine and good, but none of these men wanted the stigma of murdering a helpless female.
“She’s been listening to us. I know this girl. She’s a fucking rat.”
“Another rat?” the man they called Juanito replied. “Your hotel had a lot of those. Maybe you needed an exterminator.”
They all burst into laughter at Chuy’s expense.
Maria kept her eyes glued to the kitchen floor as he pushed back his chair, its wooden legs scraping along the cheap linoleum.
“I’ll do some exterminating,” he warned.
“Sit down, güey,” Juanito said. “Wait for jefe and have a drink.”
“I don’t think he’s coming back.”
“What if he does? I heard he went crazy when he found his girlfriend dead. He tore the hotel room apart with his bare hands. You want him to do that to you?”
“I’m not going to kill her,” Chuy said, making a concession. “I’ll just make sure that if she leaves here, she never talks.”
Maria didn’t like the sound of that. She scrambled down the concrete steps, her heart hammering in her chest. There was no place to hide, no corner to wait in ambush. She couldn’t even stand behind the door without drawing notice.
Moving quickly, she overturned the sleeping mat and blanket, creating a visual distraction. It didn’t really look like a person hiding, but perhaps the disarray would draw his eye. Then she raced back to the stairs and stood beside them, clenching the uncapped syringe in her ready fist.
The instant he came through the door, she struck, plunging the needle into his ankle. It penetrated his sock and pant leg, sinking in all the way to the hilt.
She wished the syringe was full of heroin, or better yet poison, but the cylinder was empty.
The sharp point made an effective weapon nevertheless. Maybe the needle hit a nerve, because Chuy hollered like a madman and lifted his foot, trying to shake off the dangling syringe. She used that opportunity to grab him by the ankle and pull. He fell forward, crashing down the stairs. His heavy body bounced along the unyielding concrete and landed in a crumpled heap on the dirt floor.
For a few seconds she just stared at him. She couldn’t believe the tactic had worked. When she snapped out of her stupor, she made a break for it, leaping over him and racing up the stairs. The men in the kitchen actually moved aside for her, their mouths agape. She ran by them and found the door in record time.
It wouldn’t open.
She twisted the knob and yanked, rattling a half-dozen locks. Her stomach filled with dread as she realized she’d never escape this way. She whirled around, searching for another exit. Three men were watching her with a mixture of amusement and admiration.
“What a wildcat,” Juanito said, and they all laughed.
Chuy roared for help from the bottom of the stairs.
Before Maria could decide where to go next, Juanito stepped forward to detain her while the other two men, Beto and Ronnie, went to assist Chuy. They brought him up the stairs and put him in a kitchen chair. He wasn’t badly injured, just humiliated. His dark gaze promised an unpleasant payback for Maria.
Juanito tightened his grip on her arm, but it felt protective rather than menacing. When his cell phone rang, the tension in the room ignited.
He took the phone out of his pocket. “Bueno,” he answered. “Yeah, everything is fine.” After listening for a moment, he moved the receiver away from his ear so that the other men could hear.
“Chuy,” Moreno said, requesting his attention.
“Yes, jefe.” Glaring at Maria, he massaged his ankle.
“I’ve confirmed that Armando is at Scripps. I’d like you to pay him a visit. Finish what you started.”
Chuy flinched at the command. He’d just been ordered to assassinate his former partner. His reluctance was obvious, and not because he had any qualms about shooting an injured man. The danger of getting caught was sky-high. “Whatever you say, boss.”
“Juanito, I want you to take Maria to Bob’s Big Boy. Drop her off in the parking lot and get the hell out of there. Don’t come back to the house.”
“Yes, jefe,” he said, his thin chest puffing out with importance.
Maria’s heart leapt with hope. They were letting her go!
“Leave now,” Moreno said, ending the call.
Juanito put the phone back in his pocket and headed for the door, pulling Maria with him.
She went along easily, eager to be free.
“Hold on, Juanito,” Chuy said in a low voice, and the tiny hairs on the back of her neck prickled with unease. “Let’s talk about this.”
Don’t listen to him, she urged silently.
“No,” Juanito said. “I’m following orders. If you don’t want to, that’s your problem.”
“Let’s all go together.”
He shook his head. “Sorry, amigo. You’re on your own.”
Chuy drew his handgun. “I don’t think so. Amigo.”
Juanito froze. He was just a kid, no more than twenty. With his slender frame and boyish face, he was no match for Chuy.
Even so, he didn’t back down. Shoving Maria aside, he reached for his own weapon. Chuy fired before he could brandish it, and his aim was true. Juanito collapsed against the door, leaving a red smear as he slid to the floor.
Maria watched in horror as he took a few hitched breaths, blood bubbling from his lips. Then the light in his eyes faded and his head lolled to the side.
“You monster!” she said to Chuy. “Vete al diablo, cabrón!”
Ignoring her curse, Chuy glanced at his remaining comrades, Beto and Ronnie. “Anyone else want to argue with me?”
They fell silent, choosing the devil over death.
He put his gun away. “Good. Roll him up in a carpet and throw her back in the cellar. We’re going to Big Boy.”
Kari felt nauseous from the confrontation with Adam, but she was more determined than ever to help Maria.
She also hoped that the information she gave Moreno would keep Adam safe. Surely he would call off his revenge mission. There was no point in assassinating a pseudo-Armando. And if he’d wanted to kill Adam, he’d have done it already.
Letting out a nervous breath, she passed the last U.S. exit, lifting her ponytail off the nape of her neck. Maybe all of those trips across the border had given her nerves of steel. She’d just argued with a drug lord and won.
Moreno had wanted to drop off Maria at the tile manufacturer, but Kari had insisted on a public place.
Bob’s Big Boy was a casual restaurant in downtown Tijuana that catered to people from all walks of life. Petty criminals mixed with police officers and ordinary citizens. Families with small children sat alongside cartel members. Everyone enjoyed the American-style shakes, fries, and burgers.
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