by Celya Bowers
* * *
Brendan watched Peri storm out of the pub. Okay, he just blew it, but at the moment he didn’t care. His brother and Chelsey were extremely quiet at the table. “What?”
“You know you were totally out of line,” Sean said quietly.
“What was I supposed to do?”
“You were supposed to ask her about the situation, not accuse her of cheating on you.” He rose from the table. “She’s probably packing her bags right now. If I were her, that’s what I’d be doing.”
What had he done? “You really think so?”
“Bren, you know I’m right. Put yourself in her place. You’re going to have to do some really good talking to get her to stay.” He left the pub without another word.
Brendan mulled over his brother’s words while he finished his beer. Chelsey stared at him with bright blue eyes. “Ready, honey?”
She nodded. They left the pub and walked to their hotel room. Neither said anything on the short journey, which let Brendan know how much trouble he was really in. Chelsey was normally a chatterbox, which only meant that he could add his own daughter to the list of people he’d hurt in one night. Peri’s door was closed and there was no light on in her room. He knew she wasn’t asleep. He was going to have to talk to her before things got really ugly.
* * *
After he got Chelsey settled in bed, he knocked on Peri’s door. There was no answer. The doorknob turned under his hand, and he went inside. The room was in complete darkness. Brendan, being embarrassed about his behavior, didn’t bother with the light. He sat on the bed and began speaking.
“I’m sorry, Peri. I didn’t mean to go off like that, and there’s no excuse for my behavior this evening. I know that means nothing to you at this moment. I hurt you and I’m truly sorry. If you want to go home now, I understand. I only ask that you at least give me a chance to explain why I acted like I did. I am not usually jealous.”
Peri turned over and faced him. “I don’t know why you acted as you did, either. But…”
“But what?” He dared her to say it.
“But how many times are you going to fly into some jealous tirade every time you see a man talk to me? We were talking, just as you saw. You really need to get a handle on it. How many times are you going to blame me?” Peri’s chest heaved up and down as she tried to control her temper.
“I don’t know.”
Peri spoke in a small voice. “I don’t like feeling like this. At first it was cute. It showed me you cared, but now—”
“I am sorry.” He repeated through gritted teeth.
“You know, sorry worked the first time. This time, I don’t know what—”
“What do you mean?”
Peri sat up and she faced him. “I’m going sightseeing tomorrow. Alone. I’ll let you know tomorrow night if I want to go home early. Alone. Goodnight.” She turned over, promptly dismissing him.
* * *
Brendan stared at Peri’s form in the dark. She meant business. He heard it in her voice. He could feel the tension between them. Slowly, he walked into the adjoining room. Chelsey was sitting up waiting for him. She looked mad as well.
“What are you doing up?” Brendan closed the adjoining door and walked to his bed.
Chelsey looked at her father and folded her little arms across her chest. “Why did you shout at her tonight?”
“I don’t know, honey. It’s hard to explain.” How, he thought, do you explain to a six-year-old that you were being an idiot?
“I will listen to you, Dad.” Her blue eyes stared at her father.
Brendan knew he would have to say something. “Chel, I thought he was asking her for a date, and I didn’t want her to go.”
She shook her head, as if to say you are really stupid. “That man asked her where she was from, Dad. I was right beside her.”
Brendan could remember. Now. After he’d calmed down, he remembered. Peri had taken Chel to the bathroom. He was such an idiot. “I can’t explain my reasoning.”
“Is she going to leave us? I heard her say something about going home alone.”
“I don’t know, honey. We will have to wait and see. She wants to have to some quiet time tomorrow.”
“I like her, Daddy. She likes to do stuff with me. She doesn’t treat me like a baby.”
Brendan looked at Chelsey’s little face. He didn’t know which conversation made him feel worse, Peri’s or Chelsey’s. “I like her, too. Get some sleep.” He kissed her on the forehead.
Brendan sat in the dark, alone with his thoughts. He had really done it! He just lost control, plain and simple. He saw a guy talking to Peri and he had just lost it. He would just have to hope that she would understand…tomorrow. Brendan called his brother for some advice. After Brendan apologized for waking him, Sean agreed to see him. He checked on Chelsey and sneaked up to his brother’s room.
The two brothers talked. Sean had been a witness to the entire scene. “Bren, you are really jealous. I understand why. She is pretty and friendly, once she loosened up. But you will need to get a hold on it or you will surely lose her.”
“How can I get a hold on my jealousy? I wasn’t like this with Claire,” Brendan asked as he paced the length of the hotel room. Sean looked at his brother and thought for a minute. “First of all, you need to figure out why you get so upset.”
Brendan looked at his brother in total confusion. “What do you mean, why?”
“Brendan, you started yelling at her before you knew any of the facts. It’s like you have tunnel vision, or Peri-vision.” He thought that would have lightened Brendan’s mood. It didn’t.
Brendan ran his large hands through his dark hair and thought. “I guess it was how we met. If her friend had not pushed her to attend that gallery showing, we might never have gotten together. Sometimes, I just wonder what if.”
“Well, get past that. You guys are dating. Apparently she’s somewhat happy with you, or was. She’s in your homeland with you. She and Chelsey get along famously. They act more like friends. I know race is a big thing in the States, is that it?”
Brendan turned and looked at his brother in disgust. “No, of course not. I guess I feel that she will leave me.”
“Why?”
Brendan sat on the bed beside Sean. “She’s so independent. When Claire and I got together, she needed me. Peri doesn’t really need me,” Brendan said quietly.
“I think Claire needed your money more than she needed you.”
Brendan sat back on the bed, remembering those awful years. “Maybe it was a little of both.”
“Bren, Peri is independent. I know she needs you. She wouldn’t have gotten so upset if she didn’t care. Quit thinking materialistically. Think spiritually, or something. By the way, does she have any idea how much money you actually have?”
“No.” Brendan smiled. “She did have a funny look on her face when I paid for this trip.”
“What did she say about your little tirade tonight?” Sean asked. “I know only one thing would have brought you here at this hour of the morning.”
Brendan recounted the brief argument with Peri to Sean.
“Uh-oh.”
“What?” Brendan asked, not liking the look on his brother’s face.
“That, my idiot of a brother, means that she is thinking about everything, not just this. She just might be thinking the Irish experience is not worth the fights and the yelling. Didn’t you say her last guy was a jerk?”
Brendan lowered his head in defeat. This was very bad.
“You are going to have to tell her your fears.”
“I can’t do that.”
“Do you want this to work?” Sean asked his brother quietly.
“Of course I do, don’t be stupid.”
“You will have to be honest with her, and she’ll be honest with you. If you don’t tell her, you will be waving goodbye to her tomorrow night at the airport.”
“All right.” Brendan felt defeated.
&
nbsp; CHAPTER 19
Peri heard the door to their suite open and close. Someone was in the other room, she reasoned. The door opened and closed again, then Brendan was knocking on her bedroom door. He entered before she gave her permission.
“What is it? Is Chelsey okay?” Peri sat up in bed and faced Brendan. That had better be the only reason you’re in my room, she thought. She pulled the covers up to cover her shivering body. Even sleeping in flannel pajamas, she was cold and longed for his body heat, but she didn’t dare. She would be in the same boat she was in with Robert, and she didn’t want that horror again.
Brendan smiled. “She’s fine. I wanted to chat with you.”
Peri turned on the lamp and gazed at him as if he were a stranger. “Shouldn’t you be yelling at me, or accusing me of sleeping with yet another man?”
Brendan held his temper as best he could. “Peri, just calm down. As I said earlier, I am sorry.”
“I know you did. Now can you tell me why you acted so irrationally earlier? That man tonight was so not the Brendan Donovan I came to Ireland with.”
Brendan moved closer to her on the bed and held her hand, then rubbed it against his face. “I finally figured out the why. You may not want to hear this.”
She snatched her hand from the warmth of his. “Oh, but I do.”
Brendan stood and paced the room. “Whenever I see another man talking to you, I think you will leave me.”
“Why?”
“Because you don’t really need me.” No other explanation was given.
“How could you think that?” Peri asked in disbelief.
“When I was married to Claire, she cheated on me all the time. I didn’t know it at the time, of course. She left me because another man came along with more money. Oddly enough, she ended up with Oliver, who has nothing. I know you are not Claire, but that is what I feel. Peri, you are independent, but I like that. I just feel—” He stopped pacing for a moment. “Sometimes, I wish I didn’t feel that, but I do.”
“Brendan, come sit down.” Peri patted the space he’d vacated earlier. Brendan walked over to the bed and sat beside her. Peri placed his hand over her breast so he could feel her heart beating. “Yes, Brendan, I’m independent. I don’t know how that translates into ‘I will leave you.’ ” She took a deep breath. “After Robert left, I had no self-esteem. In the few years we were together he took everything from me. In the last two years, I got a lot of things back. My independence was one of them. I wouldn’t trade it for anything. It makes me feel good about myself.”
She had a tear trickling down her face. A shaky hand dried that tear. “I’m trying to get a handle on this jealousy. I have the best time when I’m with you. Chelsey likes you. I just want you with me and only me.”
“Where’s Chelsey?” Peri looked at the door, waiting for the little girl to bounce into the room.
“She’s sleeping. Well, will you give me another chance?” Still clinging to her and she was still stroking his hair.
“Maybe.” Peri already knew her answer was yes.
“Maybe?” Brendan stared at her, tugging at her heart.
“Yes, maybe. Why do you think a person has to have a monetary bond with you, to be with you?”
He shrugged his broad shoulders. “I don’t know. I guess in my marriage money was a big issue. So I equated money with love. Claire was very materialistic. Unfortunately, I didn’t see it until it was too late. She’s not that way now.”
“So you think I made love to you because you took me out or bought me expensive things? Not because we have the same interests or I felt a romantic connection with you?” Peri tried to understand his warped reasoning.
“No. It has always been different with you. I just didn’t realize it until this moment.”
“How different?”
“This different.” He kissed her. He kissed her again. He eased into bed beside her and they fell into an exhausted sleep.
* * *
The next morning, Peri woke to the noise of the shower in the adjoining room. She had just finished her own shower when Brendan returned to her room with Chelsey behind him. Chelsey hugged Peri.
“I’m glad you’re giving Dad a do-over.”
Peri was confused. “What do you mean, Chelsey?”
Chelsey sat on the bed. “At school, when we do something bad, we get a do-over. I told Dad he was wrong for yelling at you. He should have used his soft voice, like we do at school.”
Peri smiled and sat next to Chelsey on the bed. She wrapped her arm around Chelsey, hugging her. “Well, I’m glad, too.”
Chelsey grinned back at her. “I’m hungry. Are we going to Grammy’s today? She told me I could come see her as often as I want. Can we go today?”
Brendan shrugged. “I don’t know, baby. Why don’t we go sightseeing and then we’ll decide?”
Peri cleared her throat, attracting the attention of both Brendan and Chelsey. “Why don’t we go to a few museums and then go visit your parents?”
Chelsey cheered and got off the bed. “Hooray! I’ll go get my coat.” She hurried into the next room, closing the door.
Peri shook her head. “Your daughter is very smart. She must take after her father.”
Brendan joined her on the bed. “I would say so.” He leaned over and kissed her. “Thank you for wanting to go visit the folks again.”
“Remember this grand gesture when we get to the Gallery National.” She kissed him and rose from the bed. After she gathered her coat, they headed downstairs for breakfast.
CHAPTER 20
Brendan and Peri were taking advantage of being alone in the hotel room. Chelsey was at his parents and they had a day together.
“You feel great,” Brendan breathed into her ear, sending delicious shivers down Peri’s body. With all they had been through these last two days, every kiss and every caress held a promise for tomorrow. He was gentle with her, treating her as if she was an expensive piece of fine art. He asked if it was okay to touch her and if he was hurting her. She knew they both had experienced so many emotions at both ends of the scale in the last few days, this seemed the only natural release for them both.
Later, in bed, Brendan wiped the perspiration from her forehead and kissed her gently. “You were wonderful, as always.” He held her closer to him.
She didn’t think she would ever tire of the look he had on his face at that moment. “You weren’t so bad yourself.”
Brendan looked at her. “How about an encore?” Without giving her time to answer, he pulled her on top of him and kissed her. He rolled over her so that now he was on top and in control. “Ready?” His eyes challenged hers.
Peri looked back at his blue eyes challenging her and smiled. “Ready.”
Hours later, Peri and Brendan snuggled together in bed, exhausted from their lovemaking. “Does your mother like me?” She moved closer to Brendan as she waited for his answer.
Brendan chuckled as he held her tighter. “Yes, she does. She told me I was an idiot for yelling at you. She got very cross with me when Sean told her about our fight. She said I deserved whatever you dish out. Women.”
Later that afternoon, Peri looked out the window at disappearing Dublin as they drove out to Brendan’s parents’ cottage. Enjoying the private time she shared with Brendan earlier, she relaxed in the seat. She didn’t know which relaxed her more—the idyllic scenery or the fact that Brendan had just satisfied her an hour before. She had learned so much about him in the last few days, some good and some bad. Overall, she was glad she came to Ireland. Peri wondered what was in store for them at his parents’. Actually she was more concerned about herself. She knew this was the official inspection.
Brendan, sensed her mood change, interlocked her hand with his, squeezing it tight. “Are you ready?” He turned down the drive to his parents’. He parked the car and opened Peri’s door for her. The next sound they heard was Chelsey’s squeal of delight. She ran toward Brendan. He picked her up and hugged her tight. He
bestowed kisses on her tiny face as she held on to him for dear life. Chelsey was obviously very happy to see her father. “I missed you so much,” he told her as he put her down on the ground so she could walk. To both their surprise, she hugged and kissed Peri as well. Chelsey grabbed her father’s hand in her own and pulled him into the cottage. Peri followed father and daughter inside.
Inside Peri was greeted by a huge amount of food. Peri guessed Brendan’s mother must have been cooking all morning. Brendan’s mom looked very happy as she fussed over Brendan and Chelsey at the table. Peri looked at them with adoration. Brendan was a great father to Chelsey. She watched as he got her settled at the table. Chelsey was on one side of Brendan and Peri was on the other side of him.
“Peri, why don’t you come out with us tonight? We’re going to have some craic,” Brendan’s sister, Emma announced as she took a seat next to Peri.
Peri stared at Emma and was about to tell her how she didn’t tolerate drug use, she remembered that it meant something entirely different in Ireland. She looked to Brendan for a translation.
Brendan waited a heartbeat before he translated the phrase for Peri. “It’s just going out and having a laugh. You know, like when you and Kyla go out for an evening.” He rubbed her hand under the table, silently pleading with her not to go.
Peri stared at Brendan. “Oh.” He smiled at her.
“It’s girl’s night out,” his sister explained.
Peri looked at Brendan again. He had a strange look on his face, but said nothing. She saw a muscle in his jaw move, but still he was silent. Peri remembered that they would have Chelsey that night, and turned down Emma’s invitation. Brendan let out an audible sigh of relief and squeezed Peri’s hand tighter under the table. Everyone at the table laughed.
“Don’t let Bren be a wet blanket, Peri,” Emma said.
“I’m not.”
Lunch went very well. Brendan’s mother had made potato soup, corned beef and cabbage, scones, Irish stew, something called beef in Guinness, and a few other foods Peri couldn’t quite get the names of. It turned out beef in Guinness was Brendan’s favorite dish. His mother told Peri several times, and offered her the recipe. Peri took the hint and accepted it. After they finished lunch, Chelsey got her belongings and they said their goodbyes and headed back to Dublin. They decided to do a little sightseeing that afternoon.
