by Brown, TW
“I will make sure Billy puts the word out,” Dr. Zahn said. She stepped aside and actually ushered me in by my arm. “Thalia is here to check on Paula. I think she should sit with her for a little while, then she has a few calls to make.”
My head popped up. Surely she couldn’t mean—
“Thalia will be doing the house visits of the people we lost starting with Lacy Munson’s family.” Dr. Zahn glanced at me, an eyebrow cocked. “Sunshine will give you the list of names.”
Ten minutes later, I was alone with Paula. All the medical types were busy doing what they could to save the lives of those who had suffered injuries during the fight. I was holding a list of names that were all familiar and wondering what I was going to say to Henry Munson and his two little girls. Henry had lost his right arm a few years ago due to a nasty cut on the palm of his hand of all things. It became hideously infected because he had not taken care of it and ignored it all the way until he collapsed during a shift on the wall.
He had been confined to working within the walls and his wife had been inducted to the security force. The two daughters were six and eight years old. I have probably babysat the Munson girls twenty or thirty times over the past couple of years.
A sniffle to my left caused me to jump, and I looked up to see Stevie peek in the curtain. He glanced at Paula and his face was solemn, but as soon as he turned his attention my way, he smiled.
“You made it back,” Stevie gasped. “Somebody was saying that you were missing.”
He didn’t wait for an invitation and threw himself at me, wrapping his arms around me in a fierce hug. I had to shift around a bit so that I could hug him back. He finally pulled away and seemed to study my face.
“What’s the matter?” I asked.
“You look so tired,” he said, rubbing my cheek with one hand.
“It’s been a rough few hours.”
I pulled the chair over from a couple of feet away so that it was beside mine and gestured for him to have a seat. He did, and for the next hour or so, we just sat there in silence as that madness on the other side of the curtain continued without even a few seconds of quiet. To Stevie’s credit, he did not say a word and just sat there beside me.
At last, I decided that I needed to take care of the unpleasant task that Dr. Zahn had given me. I stood up.
“Where are you going?” Stevie immediately sounded desperate and worried.
I explained what I had to take care of and he frowned. “I’ll stay here with Paula.”
“Okay, if anything happens, come get me as soon as you can.”
He nodded and scooted his chair closer to Paula’s bed. With a sigh, I exited the cubicle and wove my way to the doors. I glanced around for Dr. Zahn but did not see her. It looked like I was on my own. I’d hoped all the way up until the last second that she would appear and tell me that her point had been made and that I was off the hook.
No such luck.
I exited the hospital and discovered that the big meeting was over. People had gone back to their daily routines. I turned and looked at the hospital and then did a full three hundred and sixty degree circle.
Is this how it is? I wondered. Inside that building, people were fighting for their lives. I was on my way to tell a man and his daughters that their wife and mother would not be coming home. Was this part of what Dr. Zahn wanted me to realize? Were we so casual about death? Was it a case of “at least it’s not me” that everybody was adopting or had always expressed and I just never noticed?
“This sucks,” I muttered, and headed for the Munson’s place.
***
“You are absolutely certain that it was her?” Dr. Zahn asked.
I nodded and noticed that Billy was staring at the floor, his hands wringing themselves as they dangled between his knees. I couldn’t tell if his emotions were tied to the fact that he hadn’t put her down…or that I had.
“She looked pretty bad, and I realize that I was really young when we lost Em, but I know her. She and Steve will be two faces that I never forget. I know my sister, and that was her,” I sort of babbled. Suddenly I felt like I needed to defend what I knew in my heart.
“Okay,” Dr. Zahn said calmly, holding up her hands to settle my obvious agitation. “Let’s say that you saw Emily.” I opened my mouth and the doctor shut me down. “That is only one very small part of this story. I want you to tell me again, in detail, what you saw. No matter how silly you may think it to be or if you are worried that I might not believe you, just put that aside. Let’s pretend that I am going to take every single word from your mouth as gospel. And I want you to start from the moment you first spotted them.” She glanced over at Billy. “No interruptions and no questions.”
I looked at him and couldn’t tell if he’d heard. He was not moving and he did not look up. I felt sort of bad for him. Still, this needed to be done. I started from the beginning and told Dr. Zahn every single detail that I could remember. Then I told it again…and again.
Somewhere around the fourth or fifth time, Billy got up and left the room. I paused, but Dr. Zahn told me to continue. Next came the questions. She would ask me a question about something and then interrupt me three or four times while I was answering so that she could ask me another question. When I looked up and took a breath, I realized that it was dark outside.
“How long are we gonna do this?” I finally asked.
Dr. Zahn looked up from where she had been furiously taking notes and then seemed momentarily confused as she looked out one of the windows. I think she had lost track of time; I know I had.
“Yes, Thalia, perhaps we can pick this up again tomorrow.” The doc got up and motioned for me to follow her to the door.
“You mean we are gonna do this again?” I tried not to sound like I was whining, but I don’t think I succeeded.
“Oh, I am sure we will do this several more times.” She sounded much too happy about this for my liking.
“How many times can I tell you the same thing over and over again or answer the same questions worded differently?”
“You never know what might shake a particular kernel of information loose.”
“Great,” I muttered as I stepped outside to the cool evening air.
The community of Platypus Creek was quiet. I wove through the trails and lanes and made my way home. I could hear rovers up on the walls and in the towers calling out their “All clear” reports as I walked along, drifting in and out of the little pools of light from some of the other residences as well as the street lanterns.
At last, I arrived at the gates of the apartments. I almost jumped out of my skin when Stevie detached from the shadows and stepped in front of me.
“Jeez, Stevie…give a girl a heart attack!”
“Sorry,” he mumbled. Right away I could tell that he had been crying.
“What’s wrong?” I asked the question, but a little churning in my belly had me wondering if I wanted the answer.
“My mom is missing.”
Those simple words hit like a mountain falling on my head. I opened my mouth to say something, but nothing came out. I opened the gate and stepped inside, wrapping my arms around Stevie and hugging him close.
“I thought that she was staying with Sunshine,” I said into the top of his head.
“She was, and I guess she was asleep when my mom wandered away.”
“Well she couldn’t be far. Let’s start with going to each of the gates,” I suggested. “Once we rule that out, we can just start searching. We will put the word out and I bet everybody in the community will help. We will have this taken care of before you know it.”
Stevie sniffed and pulled away. “I already went to the gates. She left through the east gate just before sunset.”
“What?” I yelped. “How the hell—” I started, but Stevie grabbed my hand.
“They didn’t know. They said that she told them she was going out to keep a watch for the group that hadn’t returned. They probably just ass
umed she meant one of the teams that were out fighting those raiders.”
I felt sick to my stomach. Then another thought hit me. “How long have you known this?”
“About an hour.”
“Why didn’t you come get me?”
“I ran into Billy and he said to leave it to him. He said he would get a team together and be moving in minutes. When I asked about you, he said not to bother you and Dr. Zahn.”
I would deal with Billy later, but right now there was no way in the world that I was just going to sit around and wait for an answer. I wasn’t stupid enough to consider going out alone, so that meant I would need to find out who Billy had taken with him.
“You wait here,” I told Stevie, but he shook his head.
“I’m not gonna sit here alone. If you are going to go look for my mom, I’m coming.”
“No, you aren’t. You have never been outside the walls, Stevie. It is dangerous and I can’t risk something happening to you. Besides, anybody that I ask to help will demand that you not come along.”
He started to protest again, but a voice calling out interrupted him before he could start. “Hey, cupcake, what’s this I hear about Melissa leaving the compound?” Jim jogged up and his mouth slammed shut. The look on his face would have been funny any other time, but right now it was hard to find anything humorous. “Hey, slugger, umm…sorry about that.”
I began to wonder if Jim called anybody by their real names. Maybe someday life could slow down to the point where I could ask something so trivial.
“It’s not a rumor.” I glanced at Stevie and then back to Jim. It was no use trying to talk about this without my little brother being present. He wasn’t stupid; also I felt he deserved to know everything that was being done. Maybe if he saw how everybody was mobilizing, he might find some comfort in that and feel a little better.
We went inside and I sat down at the kitchen table with Jim and Stevie. I recounted what we knew and Jim listened, nodding a lot and pinching his lower lip in thought. When I finished, we all sat quietly for a few moments until Jim clapped his hands together.
“Well, I guess I will go get my field gear. Suit up, cupcake.” He stood and then looked at Stevie. “I know you want to help, Steve. But the honest truth is that you just ain’t ready to be out there. As it is, I am probably gonna get my ass chewed out for bringing your sister. The best thing you can do is be here in case your mom comes home. If you are gone, she may go right back out looking for you.”
Stevie’s head dropped, but he nodded. I was glad that Jim had spoken to him and explained the situation. I don’t think he would have listened to me for one; and for another thing, I had not even thought about Melissa coming home and finding an empty house.
Ten minutes later, I was back in my gear. It was smelling more than a little ripe. I really needed some time to get my stuff cleaned up. Also, if I thought about it at all, I was exhausted. I needed some serious down time. I think I had dozed a few times while I was sitting with Paula, but I was so hazy that things were starting to jumble together and not make any real sense or differentiate from one event to the next.
As I walked out the door, Stevie caught my hand and turned me back to him. “Promise me one thing.”
“Name it.”
“If you find her and she is…one of…them…” His voice became strangled and tears welled up and then overflowed in his eyes.
“It will be quick.”
“And you will tell me?” he asked.
“Of course,” I replied. “Why wouldn’t I?”
“I would rather know my mom was dead rather than not know anything.”
I kissed him on the cheek and walked out. Jim was standing on the front step and waited for me to shut the door.
“Jesus, how old is that kid?” he asked incredulously.
“Eleven going on thirty,” I replied.
Jim and I reached the gate just as it was opening. Since we did not make it a habit of opening the gates at night, it had to be Billy and his team, or, even better, Melissa.
The gates swung wide to reveal Billy. He and his team were there looking like they had just waded into a lake of guts. They were splattered and messy. Standing amidst them all was Melissa. She did not have so much as a drop of blood on her and seemed oblivious to the state of those around her.
“You two,” Billy called out, pointing to me and Jim. “Meet me in the conference center.”
I didn’t like how that sounded. Jim and I veered away and I watched as Melissa was handed off to one of the guards at the gate who was given some brief instruction by Billy before leading Melissa away towards what looked to be in the general direction of Dr. Zahn’s place.
When Billy arrived a few minutes later I saw that he had not even bothered to clean up. Out of habit I quickly scanned him to see if he might be hurt. He seemed okay, but my anxiety was cresting.
“Are you alright?” I blurted.
“Fine,” he answered. Then, before I could press the issue, he added, “We did not take any casualties, but it was close and hairy for a minute.”
“Where was she?” Jim asked.
“Heading down towards La Grande. And that is the problem. There is a very large herd headed this way.” He sighed and peeled off his gloves, walking in to one of the emergency decontamination stalls and stripping off the rest of his clothes as he spoke. “All children.”
I glanced at Jim who had a confused look on his face like maybe Billy had spoken in some language that he didn’t understand. He scratched his head and looked to be about to ask a question when Billy continued.
“We were just emerging onto the old highway when we heard her scream. It was too dark to see very well, so we were damn near in the middle of the bastards when we realized what we had. I guess the numbers to be several thousand. The herd stretched down the road much farther than I cared to go see.”
“And Melissa?” I asked, not really sure what my question should be.
“She was up on that damn bus. It was surrounded, but fortunately it was just the leading edge of the herd. Damndest thing…a bunch of them backed away when we approached like they were afraid of us. Sadly, the cats had no such compunction and we had to kill a lot of them before they got spooked enough to run.”
“And what about the herd now?” Jim asked.
“We have guys staying back and keeping an eye out, but it looks like they are moving on. What we don’t and won’t know probably until tomorrow is just how big the herd actually is…provided they continue on and don’t make some crazy random move and head in towards us.” Billy pulled on the chain and began washing up under the cold water.
That was always my least favorite part of the decontamination process—we use freezing cold water. When I asked about that a long time ago, I was told that hot water opens the pores in our skin and so cold is used to hopefully keep anything from soaking or seeping in and allowing for somebody to become infected. It seems a bit arbitrary to me, but who am I to argue with our medical people?
He continued to describe what happened and how they had escorted Melissa back home, but I only half-listened. My mind was turning things over and coming to a decision. At last he was finished.
“I am going to go tell Stevie,” I said as I got up. “He needs to know that his mom is back.” I started for the door and then turned to Billy. “And thank you. I’m not sure what he would have done or how he would have dealt with losing his mom.”
“I hate to be the one to say it,” Jim said softly, “but I think he lost her a while ago.”
“Until further notice, I am sorry to say that you are confined to the compound, Thalia,” Billy said as he emerged from the stall in a pair of baggy red sweats.
“What?” I snapped.
“You are all he has. You know the rules. Single-parent units are forbidden from being placed on security or patrol details.”
I opened my mouth, but then I closed it and nodded. Maybe I am learning, but the little voice in my head was scr
eaming that my being selfish and thinking only of myself had cause enough trouble these past several days. It was time to think of other people’s wants and needs and put them ahead of my own for a change.
“Yes, sir,” I said with all sincerity.
As I headed back to the apartment, I began to feel lighter with each step. Before I was halfway, I broke into a run. For the first time in a while, I actually had good news.
Melissa was alive.
13
Vignettes LXXI
The months seemed to fly by. Slowly, Juan’s injuries healed. He still had a bit of a limp, and as the bitter cold of another Alaskan winter began to set in, he could feel aches deep in the joints of his knees.
As for Gerald, things went even slower, and the difficulties began to mount. He went through long spells where he could keep nothing down. Through it all, Juan remained at the man’s side and acted as his caretaker. The girls helped, often taking turns sitting at his side and reading stories to the man.
One evening, after the girls had gone to bed, Gerald called Juan to his bedside. When he entered the room, Juan was instantly hit with the smell of piss and feces.
“Let me get the tub,” Juan whispered. “I will get you cleaned up.”
“Wait,” Gerald called.
Juan stopped in his tracks. He heard something in the man’s voice that made the hair on the back of his neck stand up. He pushed aside the stink that threatened to make him gag and returned to the man’s bed.
“We are even, brother,” Gerald rasped. There were tears brimming in the man’s eyes and he could not meet Juan’s gaze.
“What do you mean?”
“I mean that you can stop trying to take care of me. You have done more than anybody would these days. It is a sad fact, but a person in my condition is a drain on resources. Like any animal that is suffering, the best thing to do is—”
