by Holly Evans
I didn’t miss the appreciative growl he added to his last statement. Was he screwing with me? I placed the sandwich down on the plate and glanced at him. He had his arms crossed across his broad chest, the mark of his god in plain view. The red stripes in his hair looked like fresh blood in the dim streetlight coming through the windows. So what if he was screwing Isa? He was my ex, what did I care?
He followed me back to the sofa where Keirn was sitting.
“Fein is pissed. He’s rather fond of the cougars. Whoever dared go after them will suffer,” Caiden said.
A shiver ran down my spine. I didn’t want to be on the receiving end of Fein’s wrath. The elf looked like he knew exactly how to draw out the pain.
I handed Keirn his sandwich and sat next to him. Caiden sat in Vyx’s armchair and looked at us with a smirk.
“Any ideas who attacked the cougars?” I asked him.
He shrugged. “Not yet. I’m sure Fein will have the names by sunrise.”
“You’ve worked with him before?” I asked.
We hadn’t really discussed Caiden’s work, or Fein’s, for that matter. Truth be told, I didn’t want to know. The more I knew, the harder it would be to get out. The problem was, I was pretty sure I was already in too deep.
4
Keirn remained quiet at my side as Caiden rolled his jaw and leaned back in Vyx’s chair, his gaze never leaving mine.
“Yes. Fein and I have worked together a number of times. He does good work throughout this continent, my god appreciates his efforts,” Caiden said.
I noted the fact that he didn’t give his god’s name.
“Remind me, which god owns you?” I asked.
He bared his increasingly sharp teeth at me. His eyes flashed in the semi-darkness.
“Dacian, come and watch a movie with me while I recover,” Keirn said softly, his fingers interlocking with mine as he spoke.
I gave Caiden a sickly-sweet smile and followed Keirn to his room.
“Why must you insist on pushing?” he asked me as he pulled his blankets back.
“It was an innocent question,” I grumbled, getting into his bed next to him.
“Innocent? I’m insulted you thought I’d believe that,” he said.
I didn’t reply. Instead, I stole the remote and flicked through the channels, looking for a suitable movie.
“You were pushing him; it was a dominance dance if ever I saw one,” Keirn said, his head resting on my chest.
“I don’t do dominance dances, they’re for the shifters.”
I didn’t need to look down to see the expression of disbelief on his face.
It isn’t good for the pack if fights spring up all the time. Shifters heal quickly, but there are limits, and constant injuries lead to a weaker pack. That led to what’re referred to as dominance dances, where pack members push and test each other without laying a hand on their opponents. From what Jake told me, it was all done through verbal sparring and body language. It usually lasted no more than a couple of days.
“I’m not a shifter,” I said.
“You’ve spent a lot of time around them, and you’re a rather dominant personality.”
“I haven’t heard you complaining about that before,” I teased.
He brushed his lips over my chest.
“I’m not complaining,” he murmured.
I wrapped my arms around his shoulders and let the moment dissipate. I wasn’t in the mood. I had memories of Isa flickering around my mind.
“How’re you recovering, old friend?” I asked once the movie had finished.
Keirn stretched, pressing his thighs against mine as he did so.
“I feel much better, thank you. I just needed time for my energy well to refill, so to speak. It’s much easier for me; as a spirit walker, I can survive without a network. I can pull energies from the life network and use the static energy around us. The rest of my kind need a network; they can’t process the more chaotic threads,” he said.
I kissed his forehead and moved to return to my own bed.
“I appreciate the network you formed around me, though. It’s far more comfortable and less work than the other way,” he said.
“I know, old friend.”
My bed was calling me. I didn’t have anything more to add. Keirn gave a frustrated sigh as I left. We hadn’t slept together since Caiden had moved in. We were both getting a little wound up due to it, but it felt wrong, somehow. As though Caiden, and through him Isa, would judge me. It was foolish, but I couldn’t get past it.
Keirn was hidden in his art room when I gave up on sleep and went searching for coffee. The cougars were quiet and withdrawn, shadows sitting beneath their eyes.
“Did the sigils work alright?” I asked as I walked past their armchair.
“Yea. We slept fine once we could relax enough to try,” Luka said.
“You did well, Dacian,” Caiden said as he opened the fridge and gave it a rather disappointed look.
He shook his head and muttered something. He apparently hadn’t found what he’d been hoping for.
“Thanks,” I said as I tapped the heat stone to get the water boiling.
I fell into my own thoughts and began wondering how the gods felt about me. I didn’t know quite how fickle they were, but they clearly listened, given they soaked me after every curse in Wildrun. The assholes. Surely, they had better things to do with their time? What did the gods even do on a day-to-day basis?
“Dacian? Dacian, are you in there?” Vyx asked, waving her hand in front of my face.
I groaned and poured my coffee.
“Sure. What’s up?” I asked her.
“I won’t be home tonight. I’m going to an artists meet-up. We’re spending the night in an old castle,” she said as she grabbed one of the cups of coffee.
“No. You’ll be back here by dark,” Caiden said, taking the last unclaimed cup of coffee.
Vyx bared her teeth at him.
“I have been looking forward to this for weeks. Do you know how hard it is for ferals to make friends? Do you have any idea how hard I’ve worked to be accepted as an artist?” she snarled.
Caiden took a slow breath.
“I’m sure it’s been hard on you, little vixen, but it’s for your own safety. You saw the dreamwalker attack that the cougars suffered last night. They could go after you next,” Caiden said a little too calmly.
“You’re being paranoid and melodramatic. I’m going,” Vyx said before she walked away.
“Being paranoid is my job,” Caiden said quietly.
5
Vyx stayed true to her word and headed out to her artists meetup. She glared at Caiden and dared him to try and stop her. He had the good sense to leave that fight well alone. The cougars had returned to bed, and that left me with the hound.
“Why don’t you make yourself useful, Dacian, and try to track down who sent the dreamwalker,” Caiden said.
“I thought Fein had them pinned down by now.”
“It’s proving more difficult than we anticipated.”
“And what am I supposed to do? Wander around the city asking random dreamwalkers that I stumble across?”
He leveled one of those alpha stares at me. I returned it.
“Surely you have contacts within the city, people who know what’s going on?”
I rolled my jaw and glanced away from him. “No.”
He raised an eyebrow. “You’ve been here how long, now?”
“I’m a tattoo magician. I am not a criminal, a heavy, a mercenary, or whatever the fuck else works for Fein. I am a tattoo magician. I know where to get the best quality inks and needles. I know which areas have the shitty bars. And I know which bakery does the best pastries. That’s all I need.”
A crease formed between his eyebrows and his glare softened.
“Have you not at least tried to make friends?”
I sighed. “Fein made it very clear that I’m to remain hidden. No one can find out I’m an ink m
agician. I’ve been out drinking a couple of times, and that’s it.”
“We’ll improve your fighting, and then things will change.”
I snorted.
“You mean Fein will make me like the cougars. A heavy who beats up redcaps for information. No thanks,” I said.
“There is no shame in helping Fein. He’s a good man. He’s helped a lot of people, as have the cougars,” Caiden said in that icily calm tone of his.
“I am a tattoo magician. I bring through magical tattoos,” I ground out.
“You are an ink magician, an honored position. You are an ambassador, a guardian of balance.”
“And how exactly does that relate back to working for Fein?”
“He is a good man. The ink network doesn’t like its magic being abused, having people harmed. Neither does Fein. You can do both. You can help people. You can make a difference.”
He was talking sense, and that somehow made it worse. I was clinging onto my quiet hope for a simple life, one with a nice guy in my bed, interesting tattoos to bring through, and something good to drink on the weekends. I didn’t want to be a hero, and yet… I had no choice.
Keirn chose that moment to stalk through the living room and head to the door.
“I’m going out drinking,” he shouted before he left.
I looked at Caiden, “Any idea what that was all about?”
He raised an eyebrow at me. “He’s your boyfriend, not mine.”
“He’s not my boyfriend,” I said a little too quickly.
Caiden shook his head.
“Have you at least been to the tattooists’ club?” he asked wearily.
“No. It’s not far from the corvid tower and that church the weird priestess types have taken over?”
He snorted. “Yes, that one. I’ll ring Isla and get her to give you a pass. You can make yourself useful and get an in to the criminal side of that club.”
I raised an eyebrow.
“You want me to do what, exactly? Hang out with criminals?” I asked.
Caiden leveled another one of those alpha looks at me.
“Dacian, just speak to those people. Stop judging, stop being a blind asshole, and make yourself useful,” he said.
“How am I being blind?” I asked.
I was growing increasingly tired of his attitude. Yes, I was digging in my heels. Yes, I was judging the crime lord elf who did the gods only knew what. But I was not going to sit there and have him dismiss me like some cub.
“Keirn loves you. He practically has a huge neon sign over his head telling the world that he’s madly in love with you and has been for years. Yet you sit there entirely oblivious while you make him suffer.”
I felt like the air had been knocked from my lungs.
“I’d never hurt Keirn,” I said.
“Maybe not intentionally,” the hound conceded, “but the fact remains. You are hurting him. You fuck him, and you use him. Either give him the love he so desperately wants or cut him loose. Stop this that you’re doing. For his sake.”
I couldn’t answer him. There was no smart-ass remark for that revelation.
“How long until I have this pass?” I asked.
“I’ll ring Isla now. She’ll probably have it to you tomorrow.”
My mind refused to let go of Caiden’s words, of the idea that I’d been using Keirn. He was my oldest and closest friend. I’d take on the world for him.
“She’ll see you outside by the tram stop at ten tomorrow morning. Don’t be an asshole, Dacian. Remember that you’re supposed to be making friends and getting an in,” Caiden said.
“I remember. Play nice with the criminals. Got it.”
6
Everyone was busily doing things for the rest of the day. Caiden came and went, the cougars vanished not long before dusk, and I was left with Vyx’s little parrot for company. Even the ink network didn’t bother me. The need to do something was becoming unbearable by the time night set in. My mind refused to focus on the sigil books I’d been trying to study, and there was no tattooing work to be done. The apartment was bizarrely clean, and I really wasn’t in the mood to go out drinking, especially by myself. Caiden’s words rattled around my head. The idea that I’d hurt Keirn, that I’d used him, hurt. I needed to fix that.
Keirn finally came in after everyone else had gone to bed. He tried to sneak through the living space to his room, but I was waiting. I needed to speak to him. I blocked his escape route, expecting him to sigh and tell me to fuck off. His pale shirt was covered in blood and his lip was split.
“What happened?” I asked, looking him up and down, hoping it was someone else’s blood.
“I got into a fight.”
I pulled him to me and stroked his hair. He felt so right, pressed against me, his body fit mine perfectly.
“Come on, let’s get you healed,” I said softly as I took his hand.
We took the healing kit to his room, where I peeled off his ruined shirt and helped him out of his torn jeans.
“A pair of ferals picked a fight while I was on my way home.”
It wasn’t like ferals to go after law-abiding people. They tended to stick to their own kind. I felt a flash of guilt as I thought of Vyx.
We didn’t speak as I took my time cleaning up his wounds and applying the paste to the deep gashes and bites. Ferals weren’t known for fighting clean, and those two had clearly not been an exception.
Somehow, something changed. Something unspoken passed between us. I took my time exploring his body in a way I hadn’t done before. I traced every line, every curve, and savored the feel of his skin beneath my lips and fingertips. We took our time, and enjoyed a tenderness I’d never experienced before.
For the first time in my life, I made love.
There was a slow-burning passion between us that didn’t flicker or fade when we curled up in each other’s arms. Something had shifted, and I hoped it didn’t change back. I realised as he fell asleep in my arms, as he had done so many times before, that I loved him.
Keirn had slipped away some time during the night leaving me to wake up to a cold spot on the bed. He was hidden away in his art room when I went in search of my morning coffee. Maybe Caiden was wrong. Maybe I’d read too much into the night before.
“You’re supposed to be meeting Isla in five minutes,” Caiden said.
I’d completely forgotten that I was supposed to be hanging out at the tattooists’ club. Maybe it would do me some good. I could make new friends and revel in being a tattoo magician again.
“Make yourself presentable!” Caiden shouted from the living area as I pulled on my jeans.
I found an ironed shirt and added my sensible boots and leather jacket. It wouldn’t pass in the high-end circles, but it would have to do. Caiden muttered something under his breath when he saw my attire, but he let it drop.
Isla was leaning against the red pole marking the tram stop when I stepped outside. She raised a snow-white eyebrow at me.
“Are you ever on time?” she asked.
“Apparently not,” I said with a smile.
She rolled her eyes and handed me a black card with bronze writing on it. Tier two magician was all it said.
“Don’t lose it,” Isla said before slipping into the crowd moving around us.
The card was made of some form of metal. There was a slight tingling sensation under my fingertips as I held it. After inspecting both sides and finding no sigils or anything of note, I tucked it in my pocket and went on my way.
The city was coming out of its slumber with a crash of colour and sound. The trees were alive with the mewling sound of corvid gryphon chicks, the flowers that filled the park boundaries in their full regalia in every colour under the sun. Even the wild magic was more vibrant and alive as it cavorted overhead, teasing the magicians below with daring displays just out of reach.
I wasn’t quite sure why I hadn’t approached the tattooists’ club yet. I hadn’t bothered showing up to the one in Wild
run, either, despite having been invited. There was something off-putting about the idea. I hadn’t really hung out with other tattoo magicians; shifters had held more appeal. Now that I was feeling increasingly adrift, I hoped that being around my peers would help give me an anchor while I came to terms with everything.
The area of the city that the club inhabited was more rundown and artsy than the ones I usually frequented. It wasn’t rough, I didn’t watch out for packs of redcaps or bold ferals, yet the buildings were very clearly not maintained to the highest degree, with flaking paint and crumbling plaster on the corners. The graffiti plastered on the walls elevated it from a grungy state into something more fashionable. The graffiti artists had clearly put a lot of time and work into their art. The sprawling murals shimmered with depth that normal paint couldn’t achieve. The face of a Sidhe seemed to burst out of its surroundings and watch me as I passed.
I avoided the larger park with the modern church that the odd priestesses had claimed as their own. I wasn’t sure which god they worshipped there. I’m not sure anyone outside of the church did. All I knew was there was something creepy about the priestesses that sat on the shallow steps leading up to the church. There was an empty hunger in their eyes that sent shivers down my spine. I got the distinct impression that they’d devour my very essence, and I’d be awake for every agonising second. I was pretty attached to my essence.
7
I have no idea what I expected from the club, but it wasn’t at all what I got. A whip-thin bouncer with electricity crackling back and forth across his knuckles checked my card. He ushered me inside without a single word spoken. I paused for half a second when the dim hallway gave way to a large room full of over-stuffed chairs, two open fires, and a bar stocked with alcohols I could only dream of affording. The lighting came from expensive alchemically infused fire lights. Ornate glass structures in lazy spirals of clear glass held flickering red and orange flames of phoenix fire. It added a warmth and comfort to the room.
