“While you had to do all of this? Had to? Are you freaking kidding me right now?” She says as she paces in front of me. I reach out and place my hands on her shoulders to still her, bring her close, but she pushes me away.
“Don't you dare try to comfort me right now. You didn’t have to do any of this. You could have come back to me, and we could have fought any dangers we faced together. I am not some weakling human child. I am the Reborn for goodness sake! Even if I don’t know exactly what that is BECAUSE YOU LEFT ME! You left me to deal with all of this on my own. Everything I am, everything I would be. And you left! Now we’re here, and I’m bound to another, because you thought you knew what was best. Because you couldn’t stop trying to take control of the situation – of us.”
“I am so sorry, Addie. I can see now I made completely the wrong decision. If I could take it back and change it, I would. I’d run back to you and take away all of the hurt. We’d face everything together. I’d trust you could handle everything the world would throw at us.”
“Ifs and buts mean nothing to me now, Xander. It’s all good and well that you’d change it, but the fact remains that you can’t. You don’t even know how you came back from the dead. It’s not just that I don’t know who you are any more, I don’t even know what you are.”
“I can’t know for sure, but I think me coming back has something to do with you and your power.”
“Of course, it is,” she exclaims, throwing her hands in the air, before slumping into a chair by the window, bringing her legs to her chest as a barrier between the two of us. “This is all on me. Of course, it is.”
“What can I do, Addie? Everything I say, everything I do, you throw it back at me. My heart is breaking here, Addie. Can you imagine what it is like when I have missed you every single day we’ve been apart, when I want nothing more than to feel you in my arms again, and I return to find you married to another man. A man who is clearly far more worthy of you than I am – but who I don’t think is right for you. Do you have any idea how hard it is just to keep breathing?”
“Yeah, I know something like that pain,” she says bitterly, dropping her head to her knees.
“Well, I’m not going anywhere, Addie,” I say. “We have time to figure this all out. I love you, Addie. I’m not giving up on that. I’m not giving up on us.”
“I don’t want you to. I want you right here with me,” she says. My heart dares to flare at her words. I thought she hated me, that she had shut me out of her heart, but she wants me here with her.
“I want you by my side, Xander. You just have to accept that it’s all just so much. I feel torn in two, and I don’t know how to overcome the conflict. I love you so much it hurts not to be near you, but seeing you reminds me that you lied to me. I close my eyes and I ache to see you, to feel you on me, and when I open them, it’s like living a nightmare. I see you, and I see that I gave up on you. I gave in to the pressures around me. I know I make no sense at all. You were dead. But I feel like I betrayed you, too and it cuts me all the way to my soul.”
“Addie,” I whisper, lifting her chin, my lips a breath away from hers. “You did no such thing. You loved me, and you mourned me. You did what you thought was best not for you but for your people. I can have nothing but admiration for that. The mess we’re in now isn’t your fault and I never want you to feel that way. I hold nothing against you. All I want is for us to get back to us. I want us to have the time and space to find each other again. I want to learn the new you, and get to know the new people in your life. You’ve been through so much, it would be stupid of me to think things haven’t changed, but the one thing that will never change is that my heart beats just for you.”
I take her lips wrapping my arms around her and pulling her close. She tastes just as sweet as I remember. It feels so long since I held her this close, and yet, it also feels as if she never left my arms. This is exactly where she belongs. With me.
A knock at her door interrupts us, and her breathlessness as she pulls back and rests her forehead on mine feeds the earlier hope in my heart.
“Come in,” Addie calls out, taking a step back from me.
“Sorry to interrupt,” Michael says from the door way, “but little Miss. Sophie wanted to come and say goodnight.” Sophie runs past his legs and throws herself at Addie. The love they feel for each other is so obvious. It warms my heart.
“Addieeeeeeeee,” the girl squeals as she hugs Addie tight. I smile inwardly at the joy radiating from them both. I look back at Michael, who watches them with the same amusement. In another life, Addie would have been an amazing mother, but being part Fae, part Fallen, I imagine that door is closed to her. The Fae struggle with conception; it’s part of their nature and biology – but at least she has this.
“Thank you for watching over her, Michael,” Addie says softly, look at him over Sophie’s shoulder. He waves her off with a small wave.
“I wouldn’t have it any other way. Celeste might mock me about being nothing more than a glorified babysitter–”
“—I’m not a baby,” Sophie says, her face scrunched up in to a scowl. “Celeste is silly.”
“Yes, yes she is,” Addie laughs before planting a kiss on the top of the little fierce girl’s head. “Now, I believe it’s time for bed.”
“Okay, Addie. I’ll go to bed.” She throws her arms around Addie’s neck once more and plants a big kiss on her cheek. “Addie?”
“Yes?”
“Will you make sure the Queen stays away tonight.”
Addie flashes me a look and she tenses. “What do you mean, sweetie? Did you see her?”
Sophie nods. “I thought I saw her last night. She scares me.”
Addie places her on the floor and squats down, taking both of Sophie’s hands in her own. “Where did you see her?” She asks.
“By the back halls, near the kitchen. She whispered with guards,” she says softly.
“Are you sure it wasn’t just a bad dream, Sophie?” I ask, unsure how the Queen could have got past all the surveillance we have put in place.
“I don’t think so,” she says innocently.
Addie nods to Michael.
“Come on poppet, Michael here is going to put you into bed. He’s going to stay outside your door until we have checked the Palace. You are absolutely, totally safe. Do you hear me?”
Addie nods. “Yes, Addie.”
I can see that the child is trying to brave, but the way her little teeth bite down into her bottom lip suggest she feels otherwise.
Addie walks Sophie over to Michael and asks, “Can you take our little bird to bed?”
There is an unspoken message passing between them. I can sense the tension in Addie from across the room.
“I’ll take leave to House Bane, and speak to my brother,” I tell Addie, taking her hand in mine. Sophie hugs my waist before skipping back to Michael. She has no idea as to the threat that is really out there. Oh, to be so young and innocent again. He takes her hand and they leave the room. Leaving us Addie and I alone again.
“We need to find her, Xander. I should be out there looking for my mother, too. I’m more use out there than I am here.”
She sighs, closing her eyes before leaning on me for a moment collecting herself. “I know I am needed here – to attendmy duties, to speak to the council, and work with Dante to break the oath we made, to keep a show of things running smoothly in light of all of the disruptions of late.”
“I’ll be right here with you. Every step of the way,” I tell her, trying to reassure her.
“Right now, I need you to leave me and go to Kaden. He needs to know my mother might not have fled as far as we thought. He needs to make it discreet – not some big search for a missing Queen. We don’t need any more Palace gossip getting out just yet. We need to carefully navigate the message the people hear,” she tells me.
It hits me how much she has changed. This is not the girl I trained with, and fought for. This woman is a Princess. She h
as become something new entirely.
“I will, and I promise you, now I’m here, I will help you learn all about your powers and who you are, too.”
“Thank you, Xander. Can you bring me word of Olivia and Elaihn, too? I want to be kept updated on everything. No more leaving me in the dark. Is that clear?”
“As you wish,” I say before leaving her. I stand just outside her door and hear her sink into her bed, giving out a heavy sigh. She may be perfecting the art of acting like a princess, but she’s still Addie underneath it all.
We might have yet another obstacle in our path, hell, it’s more like another collision course, but I don’t doubt that we can survive this, as we have everything else so far.
Chapter Three
Addie
It’s been nearly a week since the ceremony that bound me to Dante. A week since Xander burst back into my life. Just a week since everything I thought I’d built, blew to dust. I’ve spent the time trying to comfort Sophie, hunting my mother, being seen by the people so they do not fear anything is amiss. Father and I decided it is best to let the world think that, for now, Dante and I are still to be the next in line to ascend, and that the Queen is merely attending to foreign relations. That everything is right with the world.
And I hate it.
While I agree with it, I hate that I’m lying to my people; those who need to trust me without question. I know they are a still a little afraid of me. I’m still an unknown, but they have accepted me as their Princess.
They’ve had no real chance to get to know me. I locked myself away in my mourning. On my outings, I’m always surrounded by my guard. Off limits. I don’t like it, but it is what it is until this next mess has been cleaned up. I vow to myself here and now, I will not be a ruler who does not know her people.
I want them to know me, and I want to know them. But first, I must learn who I am, which is why I find myself in the forest with Xander, while others search for my mother, while Kellan and Dante speak to the council to try to get them to see reason; to explain to them about my mother’s betrayal. My reports from Dante haven’t been great, but I can’t say I expected them to be. I am asking for worlds to shift and for them to change the ways of their world. Their traditions. It is no small thing, and while both Dante and I are requesting it, I fear that it will make no difference to them.
I take another drink of the blood in my flask, and feel it thrum through me, feeding the power within me. It took a few days of his presence here before the burn of Xanders betrayal subsided slightly. I can’t stay angry forever, and besides, there are other areas that need my energy at the minute. There is sense in taking advantage of the fact that he is here. Even if not to reconnect, Xander was once a great General of war. He is probably one of the best people to help me understand who I am, and whilst I know it rubs him the wrong way that Dante and I are together almost all of the time, I know he will not complain about the situation he has put us in. It’s time for me to take control, and this is as good a starting place as any. Having access to my power could be of use in the coming weeks.
“Are you ready to go again?” Xander asks from across the clearing.
We’ve been testing my flying abilities all morning, and now, he wants me to try and create elements. The fire that I used against Cole is meant to be but a small part of my arsenal. According to the old scripture, the Reborn can control the elements, conjure storms, and raise the dead amongst others. I’m not so sure about that last one, but Xander thinks it could be part of what brought him back to this world.
I nod to let him know I’m ready, and walk back towards him. He holds out his hand, motioning for me to stop.
“I’m not sure exactly what you can do, so we need to try and control the energy that feeds your power. I need you to close your eyes, and reach down into yourself. Travel to the centre, where your power lies,” he tells me.
I follow his instruction. I know exactly where my darkness lives, the demon in its cage, desperate to claw free.
“Now, slowly, pull on it gently, like the flow of a river. Imagine it flowing through your veins, to the tips of your fingers,” he says.
I feel the wind rise.
“Focus, Addie. Gently.” I push the power back down, fighting against it. The demon wants to break through, and I struggle to contain it as I try to pull on my power. Sinking to me knees, my hair whips against my face. Xanders voice so quiet against the air rushing past my ears.
“Addie! Control it! Do not let it control you!” I hear him, but I also feel the darkness rising up, the heat zipping through me like a thousand sparks, and my skin dances as if on fire. I open my eyes and see the horror surrounding me. The wall of wind surrounds me like a hurricane and the rain beats down from the clouds, which now block out the sun. Energy cracks across the sky in lines of light. It’s beautiful but I watch on in horror as trees start to lift from the ground. Their roots are not strong enough to hold them in the earth. Panic grips me as I lose control over the demon and it breaks out of the cage, ripping through me.
The darkness is an old friend. Like thick, heavy oil smeared over my skin, it protects me from the destruction around me. I watch as if from a distance. My feet lifting me from the ground, I rise higher into the air, watching the Fallen soldiers, who I didn’t realise were stationed in the forest, try to reach me.
There is a sting on my neck before anything else, then the demon roars inside of me before I start to fall. The wind and rain cease as my demon’s powers are diminished. As I crash to the ground, I see Xander and Michael’s faces above me. Xander is holding a gun. I feel the dart in my neck and the world grows black.
Chapter Four
Xander
I watch as she sleeps. The tranquilizer is slowly leaving her system and she looks so peaceful; such a contrast to the fierce warrior she looked earlier. I can’t shake the image of her floating in the air, her arms stretched out either side, revelling in the chaos she was creating around her. She was both magnificent and terrifying. This duality in her is fascinating. I had no idea that she was capable of such power – of such destruction. None at all. I knew she was the Reborn and that her power would be like none I’ve ever seen before, but even so, seeing her in full majesty was something to behold.
Most Fae can harness one element, two at most, or if they can’t do that, they have other abilities. Transporters. Dream Walkers. Destructos – the warriors of old whose skin was impenetrable and who would take the front line in battles of old, but I’ve never seen anything like Addie. Controlling the weather, creating the storm around us that ravaged the Palace grounds. It was nothing but sheer luck that the tranquilizer hit her. I’m sure she could have repelled it, if she’d known they were coming.
I begin to understand the fear the Fae feel towards her. I hate that it’s there, that something inside of me could be afraid of her, but I can’t deny what I feel. It does nothing to quench the love I feel for her, but I feel the shadow. I’ve heard Kaden speak of the darkness in him. I overheard him speaking to Elaihn about his feelings for Addie, about how she understood the darkness in him because she had so much darkness herself. I didn’t believe it possible. But whoever it was out there, she was my Addie and I think she barely tapped into the power she holds.
I need to read the archives I think to myself. I must learn all that she can be, if for no other reason than to help her.
“Xander?” She croaks as her eyes flutter open, trying to focus on me.
“I’m here, my love. That was certainly some show you put on out there,” I say softly with a small smile as I squeeze her hand.
“I didn’t mean to,” she says, pushing herself. “I tried to hold on, but I wasn’t strong enough to keep it locked away.” I ponder on that. Maybe that’s the problem. She keeps pushing her power down rather than embracing it – except that is for when she’s in extremes of emotion, such as with Cole.
“You’re fine. No one was hurt,” I say, knowing that these words offer little reassurance t
o her. She’s cutting herself up inside. “There’s a bit of a mess,” I admit. “But, I’m sure Kellan will have fun weaving his web of tales to explain it all away.”
“I’m sorry,” she says, her eyes falling to her hands as she pulls from me.
“You have nothing to be sorry for, Addie. You are learning. You spent years honing your craft with Defence, this is just another technique you need to master. Another string in your bow, as it were.”
“When can we practice again?” She asks. “I need to learn to control it.”
I can hear the frustration in her tone. She never did like not being good at something. I can’t help but smile fondly at all the memories we have shared.
“Soon, but first I have news. Kaden dropped by to see you.”
“He’s here?” she asks, a spark of hope in her eyes.
“He left again, I’m afraid, but he brings news of your mother. She is travelling with a transporter who’s a young girl so she can’t jump too often. Apparently, the Queen is currently to the east, on the edges of our borders. Kaden’s hopeful they’ll find her before they can jump again.”
“Why do you think she ran?” Addie asks.
“Because she will die, Addie. When she broke that bond, she knew that. If I was in her shoes, I’d probably be running, too.”
“No, you wouldn’t,” Addie says, fixing me with her eye. “You’re far too honourable to do that.”
There’s an awkward moment between us. I can’t help but feel that her words are too kind, and far too generous. After all, didn’t I run away from her – no matter how I tried to dress it up at the time?
"Your mother's name will be disgraced, and Queen or not, she betrayed the sacred laws of the Fae and is not exempt from them.”
I can see there are a million thoughts running through her mind. Eventually, she looks at me with the saddest eyes I have ever seen her wear and she says, “You mean like I’m not exempt from the laws of the sacred oath I made with Dante?”
Rapture (The Immortal Chronicles Book 4) Page 4
