by Nicky Shanks
He nods. “Noted. So, your dream?”
“Wouldn’t you like to know?” I mumble.
“Actually, I just might.” He purses his lips. Once the Jeep pulls into the parking area of the cabin, my eyes widen. It looks like a lit glass beacon on the otherwise dark and damp lakefront. My stomach grumbles and Oliver snickers; I know he hears it too. “I’ll get our bags—you go ahead inside and see if they have dinner started.”
I shut the Jeep door behind me and trot toward the glass double doors of the front entrance. I hear laughter and crude comments coming from inside. Following the cheers and bottles clinking together, I enter the white-tiled kitchen. Six pairs of lips stop moving and six pairs of eyes fix on me.
“Finally,” Nora says, snorting. “We thought you two stopped off somewhere.”
“I’m not her type or we would have,” Oliver says from behind me, dropping my bags at my feet. “We had to get your snacks.” He groans and shoves the shopping bags toward the group, then nods at his friends in a silent greeting. “Maybe you assholes can help me get the rest of my stuff.” The three guys instantly stand up and follow Oliver outside while the three girls look at me in confusion.
“Meet Oliver Jackson, girls,” Nora scoffs. “Just as I remember him: crude and self-absorbed.”
Staci licks her lips. “I think he’s sexy as hell.”
Amber giggles. “Yeah, maybe I’ll sneak into his room one night.”
I gag. “Let me know since I’m sleeping in there too.”
The three of them look at me with narrowed eyes. “Are you, now?” Staci smiles and smacks her lips together; her lip gloss looks like glue and that makes me want to laugh.
I nod and roll my eyes at them. “You other jerks pretty much smashed us together, taking up the other rooms. We basically don’t have a choice.” The guys come back in noisily and Oliver raises his eyebrows at me.
“I’ll take your stuff up for you—you can thank me later in any way you see fit,” he says. “Nora, always a pleasure.” He nods at my friend and ignores the other two girls, but they don’t mind.
I shake my head and look at Nora, my eyes narrowed in disgust. “Thanks for a great weekend, Nora.”
I follow Oliver’s heavy footsteps until I reach the doorway of the biggest bedroom I have ever seen. The walls are a sea foam green color and the dark-stained hardwood floor is slick and shiny under my feet. There are two light oak dressers, a medium flat-screen TV, a golden-colored chaise, and…the bed.
The.
BED.
“Go ahead,” I hear him say as he walks out of the master bathroom. “Jump.”
I roll my eyes. “I’m not going to jump on the bed, I’m twenty-two, not five.”
His lips spread into an innocent smile and he walks up behind me, his hot breath on the back of my neck and ears. “You know you want to.”
“I’ll just unpack my stuff,” I croak. My mouth is dry and I can smell his manly scent again.
Crap, crap, crap.
The dresser drawers creak when I open them and I shove every article of clothing I brought with me inside. It should’ve taken all of ten minutes to unpack everything, but I’m still exhausted from the drive, so I’m only halfway done after what seems like forever. Oliver has relaxed on one side of the bed, his shoes kicked off and his huge feet wiggling in the air underneath bright white socks. The hardness of his stomach and chest ripple as he stretches out and watches me flutter around the room, making sure everything is in the most logical place.
Everything in its place.
Except for me.
Right now, I have no place.
But I have my sadness.
And that counts for something…right?
Chapter Three
Oliver
One thing is for damn sure: Julie is extremely frustrating to me.
I watch her bounce around our bedroom, putting things away and fretting over if I’d seen her panties before she throws them into a small dresser drawer. The entire dance she does turns me on. I admit, I’m a little frustrated that she isn’t trying to show me her panties on purpose. I avert my eyes when she flicks her gaze toward me. I hope she doesn’t know that I’ve been looking the whole time.
Not that I won’t try and check those lacy things out while she’s still wearing them.
My legs ache when she bends over. With the way her jean shorts hug her hips, I can just imagine how soft her skin must feel, but I stop myself. She still flutters around the room, her chest bouncing with her every move, and I fake a yawn and stretch out on the bed, shaking my head at her demanding one of my dresser drawers for her pajamas.
“What’s mine is yours.” I yawn for real this time, remembering that I haven’t gotten very much sleep in the past few days because of my extracurricular activities at night. But Julie doesn’t need to know about that.
She closes the drawer gently and leans back on it. I get a perfect view of the curves on both sides of her body and the way her slender, pointed nose turns down at me. “You can sleep for a while, if you want. I can cover for you downstairs.”
How about I cover myself with you, instead? I clear my throat. This is getting out of hand already. I hadn’t done the whole girlfriend and mushy feelings thing ever since Heather, and I’m not trying to start doing it now with a random girl I just met.
Still, she smells like strawberries and sunflowers—it makes me want to cover myself in her scent, but I take in a deep, sharp breath and she looks at me with bewildered eyes. “I should be okay, thanks though.”
Julie makes a small noise and turns back to her suitcase. “That’s all of it.” She closes it, zips it up, and looks around for a place to put it. I close my eyes and let her think for a few more minutes, then stand up, taking the case from her. I push her onto the bed and my body’s on fire now thinking of her pinned beneath me. I hurry and put her suitcase in the closet and rush from the room before I get any other stupid ideas.
What is wrong with me? I have to get out of here. Now.
“I’ve gotta go,” I mumble and leave the room. I don’t bother looking back at her; I know she’s aware of my issues.
“Hey, bro,” Casey says when I enter the living room, “did you want to grill some meat tonight? I had the caretaker go shopping before we got here.”
I grunt. I’m glad that he’s steering my attention away from someone I can’t have. “Sure.”
His eyebrows rise in suspicion. “What’s wrong with you?”
I wave my hands. “Nothing. Where’s the stuff for the grill?”
Casey points toward the back patio where everyone—except for Julie—is laughing, drinking, and hanging out around the large fire pit. I think about running back upstairs to grab her, but I tell myself that if she wants to be down here with me, then she will be.
I want her here.
“Oh, so you guys—” Nora snorts through her hysterical laughter. “—Is it okay if I invite another friend to come up in a few days?” I throw the large plate of turkey legs and steaks on the grill, slowly turning them.
“Sure, babe,” Casey answers her. “Anything for you.” I hear them sloppily kiss and a pain twinges in the bottom of my stomach. There is no way I’m going to turn and look at that while everyone else gushes over how cute they are.
“Awesome, you are so amazing. She’s going to love it here.” Nora coos and I want to be sick all over the food.
“Food is done,” I mutter after a few more minutes and look around behind me.
No Julie.
“I’m going to get Julie,” I mutter again and leave the group. As I search the house, I finally find her tucked away on the chaise in our bedroom, a thick book open in her hands and a smile on her face. The soft light from the floor lamp next to her warms her face and her golden hair glows around her like an angel.
Whoa.
My heart races and I can feel the blood rush to my cheeks. I make sure to quickly turn and look away before she can catch me staring at her. It takes
every ounce of strength I have left not to close the bedroom door and lock everyone else out.
“What the fuck?” I mouth.
“Hey,” she says. “Did you need something?”
“Yeah—yes.” I choke and turn back around, hoping that my face isn’t red. “Are you hungry?”
Julie smiles and stands. “Actually, yes. Thank you.”
“Okay.” My body’s frozen in place.
She rolls her eyes. “I can’t walk through you to leave the room, you know.”
My body is still frozen as my eyes focus on her lips. I want them; they’re thick and pouty, and the bottom one is slightly pink from the way she bites it when she focuses on something—like she focuses on her book when she’s lost in the pages. I’m so much taller than her that I’m sure she feels uncomfortable, but I can’t make myself move out of her way.
“O…kay.” Her mouth moves into a perfect O-shape and my stomach drops. “I’ll just find something to eat later. I want to finish my book before it gets too late.”
Move, Oliver!
I finally gain control over my legs and walk toward her, furrowing my eyebrows. I’m angry at her for making me want her, and angry at myself for not being able to have her. “You’re only like halfway through that thing,” I say and snatch the book from her hands, smiling. “And at this rate it’ll take all night long. Why not come and eat with me now?”
Her little nose twitches with annoyance as she grabs for the book, which I wave in my hands. “I’m not going to fawn over you, so you can forget about that.”
“What is that supposed to mean?”
She sighs and grabs the book back. “It means you are very aware of your charisma and what you look like. I’m not here for some crazed, casual sex weekend with a stranger. I’m here because life sucks and I want to look at pretty trees and nature. Okay?”
Well, okay, then.
“Just come on,” I demand, my eyes burning into hers.
She doesn’t bother to look back up to me, sticking her nose back in her book and ignoring my demands.
What the hell? This won’t do.
“Julie. Come. On.”
Finally, her eyes meet mine again. “I’m not a child—you can’t order me around to do what you want. I told you—”
I growl loudly and before my mind can catch up, I scoop her up, clutch her body hard against my chest—with only a small bit of want dripping from my skin—and storm out of the room with her fingernails digging into my neck and her feet kicking against my abs. She’s frustrating me on purpose. “Put me down!” she squeals. The pressure of her sharp fingernails excites me, but it’s the tone of her voice that ruins it.
There’s no delight in her voice.
She fears me.
I put her down when we get to the bottom of the stairs.
“You are such a major jerk.” She scowls and punches my arm, the book still in her hand. “I’m not some girl you have to save—I don’t need you doing things for me.”
“I’m sorry.” I bow my head. “I’m not trying to be a jerk.”
Julie isn’t buying it. She taps her foot against the floor in annoyance.
“And I definitely don’t think you need to be saved.”
A small smile creeps across her face, and the knot in the pit of my stomach grows a little when she bites her lip.
She’s thinking about me.
All my blood rushes to the lower half of my body.
“Can we just go eat?” I snap a little at her, annoyed with my inability to control myself.
Julie rolls her eyes. “Fine, but only because I’m actually hungry.”
I smile and place my fingers lightly on her back, gently nudging her toward the back patio. The others are already helping themselves at a long table of food and laughing at something Casey had just said. He waves at us, then motions toward two empty seats at the end of the table.
I don’t bother pulling out her chair for her, so I just sit down in my own and start filling my plate with meat and the steamed vegetables the girls have prepared. Julie hungrily eyeballs the steaks and turkey legs as I shove food into my mouth, but she just nibbles on some steamed asparagus and a few cheese cubes.
I cut a small portion of my steak off and plop it onto her plate, narrowing my eyes at her.
“I don’t want that.” Julie pouts and whispers, “Take it back.”
“Is it not cooked the way you like it?” I frown. “How do you like your meat, Julie?” The girls giggle and Julie’s eyes are wide. There she goes, biting that lip again. I’ll have to make her stop doing that or it’ll drive me crazy. “Do you want a beer?” My gaze never leaves hers for a second. She nods and starts to stand, but I hold my hand out to stop her. “I’ll get it.” I run off into the house, my tail between my legs.
At first, I drown myself with a few glasses of cold tap water, letting the chill fill my insides and settle the little twinges in my stomach. I slam the glass down on the counter when the feeling starts to come back, throw the fridge door open, and grab three bottles of beer from the top shelf. I pop them all open and guzzle the first one instantly, tossing the remains into the recycle bin and letting the liquid fill my insides. “This isn’t working.” I’m starting on the second bottle when Julie walks into the kitchen.
Her honey blonde hair is braided down one side of her neck, exposing the other side of her pale collarbone. It’s perfectly defined beneath her smooth skin, taunting me. I think about pressing my lips against it and find myself angry that the arousal has come back ten times worse than before.
“What isn’t working?” she asks. She bends her head a little so her collarbone is exposed even more. My teeth start to grind; they want to sink into the skin there.
This isn’t going to work for me.
Oh, no. Oliver, you are in trouble.
You like her.
“Oliver?” Julie’s voice cuts through the silence. I nearly drop the bottle I’m holding at the way she says my name.
I gulp down the rest of the second beer. “Yeah?”
“I can get my own.” She takes the third bottle from my hand. “Is this mine?” I nod and don’t dare say a single word. Her lips touch the bottle and my skin starts to rage with fire. I slam my empty bottle down on the table in frustration, but she hardly notices my tantrum.
“So, a little information about me…” Her teeth play with the underside of her lip. “I don’t usually eat meat and I’m actually talking about the food topic, not the…other one.” She blushes a little and I want to reach out and run my thumb along the bottom of her lip, just to see how soft it is compared to what I think. “But it’s sweet of you to care.”
I choke when she says that.
Sweet. There’s that word.
Heather used to call me sweet.
My bones grow cold and my smile stiffens. “I’m not sweet—don’t say that. Nothing about me is sweet.”
Julie’s lips turn down, and without saying another word, she takes her drink back to the patio where the others are enjoying life. I grab a third beer and follow her back outside.
“Hey,” Julie says to me, her voice dainty and faint, “are you sure you’re okay?”
“He’s fine,” Casey chimes in, his voice booming in the backyard like he’s speaking through a megaphone. He’s slurring. “He’s just brooding over his ex. Trust me, he’ll be fine.” He glares down the table at me. I know I’m putting a damper on the good mood—I just don’t care.
I shoot him an I’m-going-to-kill-you look, but he doesn’t notice. Now, his tongue is so far down Nora’s throat that I want to vomit. The twins, Harley and Victor, hardly notice either, as they’ve intensified their moves on the other two girls that Nora brought with her.
And then there’s Julie.
I like it when she blushes; it pulls at my insides and sets me on fire.
Stop thinking about her, man. What is wrong with you?
Julie starts reading her book again while sipping her beer and nibbling on
the baby carrots that litter her plate. I look down at my lap, lost in my own thoughts and not even listening to the other conversations floating around the space between us. My hair falls into my eyes but I don’t bother pushing it away this time.
I am sad.
I miss Heather.
I hate her, but I miss her.
Maybe I can forgive her.
“So, Oliver…” Nora clears her throat. “Do you remember that you and I’ve actually met before?”
I stare at my plate. “Before what?”
“Before Casey. You and I met at a few parties. We have some mutual friends.”
I hardly care what Nora is talking about. I certainly don’t care enough to ask her any further questions. Once the silence drags on, Nora takes the hint and stops talking to me. I have a lot of “friends” and she could be talking about any of a hundred people.
Julie giggles at something she read and I get nervous, sitting so close to her. She’s sexy, in her own nerdy way, and that isn’t going to stop me from wanting her so damn bad. I stare at her for longer than appropriate and I haven’t even noticed that Casey and Nora have gotten up to disappear into their bedroom. After the conversations die out, the other two girls yawn, finish their pink wine, and giggle their way back into the house.
The twins drink more beer and Harley leans his body onto the table. “So, why are you still driving that shitty Jeep when you don’t have to, man? You’ve got money—you should be investing in something with a few more zeros behind the price.”
I blush, hoping that Julie’s too involved in her book to listen. Another rule I live by: Don’t let the women I sleep with know that I’m loaded. Not that I’m sleeping with her—yet. “Don’t worry about that—just worry about the money I keep spending at your body shop fixing the damn thing all the time. I’m keeping you in business.”
When Julie yawns and stretches, her chest moves with her and Harley and Victor stare at her with their tongues out, practically drooling. I want to jump them for even looking at her.
“Hey, I’m going to head upstairs and take a shower—can you light the fireplace when you come up?” I say in my best smooth Casanova voice. Julie’s eyes flutter with confusion, glassy from looking at book pages for over an hour. One thing Casey managed to do before whisking Nora up here first was call the caretaker to get the cabin ready. I noticed firewood already stacked neatly in our bedroom fireplace earlier.
