by Nicky Shanks
“Hello there.” I wink at him and Nora growls under her breath. “I’m here a day early—surprise!”
Casey blinks at me. “A day early for what?”
“Oh, this is my friend, Heather.” Nora’s voice is annoyed. “She wanted to come a day early.”
I could laugh for hours at the face Casey makes at me, but he doesn’t say anything before shaking his head and disappearing back into the house. Staci and Amber come outside a few minutes later with Casey in tow—he has his phone held up to his ear as the girls squeal around me and dance, hitting their hips together with mine. I’ve only met these girls one time and they act like we’re all best friends. Casey shakes his head and goes back into the house, phone still glued to his ear.
I have to endure Staci going on and on about the guy she’s been sleeping with here and Amber looks so dumbfounded to be in my presence that she hardly says anything at all. They drag on forever talking about things I hardly care about as I eyeball Casey and Nora on the front porch. Casey looks physically sick each time I catch his gaze, so I laugh loudly to let him know that I could end his friendship—and relationship—anytime I wanted to.
The gravel on the long driveway starts to crackle and Ollie’s Jeep comes barreling down the path.
“Ollie!” I squeal as he finally steps out of the Jeep. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Julie get out of the other side and vanish into the cabin. I notice Ollie is watching her every move, wanting to follow her, but I jump on him before he gets the chance, wrapping my legs around him and squeezing his arms while kissing his neck. “When I got the address from Nora, I just knew I had to come early and see you! I’ve missed you so much, Ollie Bear!” I lower my voice and whisper in his ear.
I can feel his body tense and I frown as he nearly drops me on the ground at his feet like he’s throwing me out with the trash. “I don’t know what you’re doing here, but you have to leave.” Ollie’s face turns red. “Now.”
Nora says something to him, but I’m too pissed to care.
Ollie plucks me off him and shoots a horrible look at Nora. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.” He turns to me and scowls. “Heather, leave.” Ollie walks away and Nora and Staci start whispering, no doubt talking about how much he just embarrassed me in front of everyone. I thought he would at least be a little happy to see me after three months of no contact at all. He spins his body around and stares dead straight at me. “Did I stutter? I said you need to leave.”
“Dude, it’s nearly nightfall—you don’t want her navigating these windy ass roads at night, do you?” I hear Casey ask from the far end of the front porch. “Think about who you’re talking about, that girl almost hit a light pole in the middle of the afternoon.”
Nora chimes in. “Wait, someone needs to start explaining. Heather, I thought you said your ex was an asshole and cheated on you?”
I cross my arms over my chest and click my heel on the ground in impatience. “Me?” Ollie’s voice rises quickly. “Me, be the asshole? What the hell did you tell her, Heather? Did you tell her you slept with your brother-in-law?” Nora’s eyes widen and she looks at me for answers. Ollie continues his rant. “Oh, yeah, that’s right. In my bed—in my fucking bed, Nora! So now that you know the actual truth—” he looks from Nora to me, “—scram.”
I move slowly toward him and hold up my hands in defeat. “Ollie, you haven’t spoken to me in three months. How can we try and fix it if you won’t talk to me?”
“I’m going inside,” he says. “Don’t follow me.”
I opt for the crocodile tears; it’s my go-to move that always makes him weak in the knees. “Oh, so that’s it? You’re going to throw me way for someone like Julie Remington?” Nora grabs my arms, but I break free from her weak grasp. “She’s so pathetic it’s unreal, Ollie! No one wants to be around her, she brings everyone down—no! Tell him, Nora!” I slap Nora’s hands away from me as she tries to hold me back from running after him. “Tell him what she did! She tried to—”
“I don’t care what she did!” he screams at me and turns around; Staci and Amber have joined Nora and they make a circle around me so I can’t follow him.
“Don’t embarrass yourself any more than you already have.” Nora’s voice is cold toward me. “I can’t believe you would use me like that. How long have you known that Oliver was the one we were staying with here?”
“When you gave me the address,” I tell her.
She scoffs, completely unamused. “I think you should leave in the morning.”
I wave them off. “Fine. I’m going to take a walk to cool off.” But really, I see Julie’s shadow in the side yard, heading for the walking trail. Hoping none of them had seen her too, I skip down the grassy hill and walk slowly behind her until we get into a more secluded area. She’s humming to herself, her jeans scuffing along the dirt path because they’re too long for her short body. I giggle to myself; she is so painfully plain.
I clear my throat so she doesn’t scream when she finally notices me. “So, you’re sleeping with my boyfriend?” She turns around, definitely not amused. “You’re one of dozens, you have to know that. He doesn’t actually care about you.”
She says nothing and it pisses me off.
“Oh my God, say something! Don’t you fight for yourself?”
Julie shakes her head. “I’ve been through too much fighting and this isn’t my fight to have. I won’t do this with you.”
I laugh. “You’re right, it isn’t. Ollie is mine.”
“Oliver,” she whispers.
I cock my head and furrow my eyebrows. “Excuse me?”
“His name is Oliver.” Her voice is a little stronger now.
A smile breaks out on my face. “Is that so? Well, little girl, maybe you should call a cab and head back home. I’m here now and I’m not going to let you whore yourself around my house anymore.”
“I’m waiting on a ride already,” she says. “I called a friend.”
“A friend?” I laugh and put my hands on my hips. “I’m surprised you have any left.”
I see headlights inching down a wider path and a few employees of the Lake Reed Inn wave at Julie from a golf cart, but they frown at me. “My friends from the hotel. Can you ask Nora to bring home my things and I’ll come and get them from her? I texted her and let her know I was leaving.”
I shake my head. “I’m not your messenger.”
“Okay,” she says, nearly in tears. “See you later, Heather.”
“That’s it?” I say. She races toward the cart. “You’re not even going to fight for him?” I catch a glimpse of her face as the cart drives away, and I can see the heartbreak on her pale face. “Oh, well,” I say to the darkness. I’m making my way back to the house when I hear Ollie and Casey on the next trail, looking for Julie.
The way Ollie talks about her makes me angry; I never once heard him say anything nice about me to anyone else. I’m instantly jealous, but see my opportunity. Sneaking over to their trail and coming up behind them, I stand where I can be seen. “Are you in love with her?” I ask Ollie, the lights from their phones reaching me as they turn around. “Julie Remington, huh? Are you in love with her like you were in love with me, Ollie?” I paste a wicked smile on my face. “You are way out of her league—even she thinks so.”
Ollie sneers at me. “What do you know about it?”
I click my tongue. “Plenty enough to know that she doesn’t want you if she got into a car with some other guy.”
“What the hell are you talking about?” He crashes through the thick bushes and runs over to me, grabbing my arm. I squeal with delight. “You better not be fucking with me.”
I yank my arm back from him. “I’m not lying. She just left with some guy in a dark-colored car.” I watch his face twist in horror as he runs off in a frenzy.
Casey stays behind with me, no doubt to try and hook up with me in these creepy woods. “Why are you such a bitch to him?”
“Why are you such a
jerk to him?” I shoot back. “We had sex, remember?”
He chokes. “He can never find out about that.”
I refresh my wicked smile and stare him down. “He won’t as long as you help me get him back.”
Because he’s mine.
My Ollie.
Chapter Thirteen
Oliver
The entire three hours back into Rockford was nothing more than a dark, lifeless blur, and I don’t even care that I can’t remember how I even got back here. If Julie knew I was driving like this, she’d be furious. I sniff and clear my throat—who am I kidding?
She left me.
I seethed the entire way back, imagining what Brandon was doing to her, and when I think about it now, my jaw hurts from the tension of the different scenarios going through my mind.
What was she thinking?
I’m hurt that she didn’t come to me for comfort, but I’m a stranger to her—why would she? My knuckles are white as I grip the steering wheel and let the darkness of the roads wash over me. My stomach drops when I enter the outskirts of Rockford because I have no idea what I’m going to do from here. This girl has me so jacked up, I don’t know which way is up anymore. I pull into an empty parking lot and steady my hands as I dial her number again.
The phone rings five times before her voicemail picks up and I hear her voice, making my knees weak. “Dammit!” I yell, but I wait for the instant I can start talking to her voicemail, so ready to say everything inside my head but finding nothing to say at the same time.
“Hey, this is Julie.”
A pain in my chest burns through my flesh, heating the front of the Jeep as the hole in my heart gets bigger. The sound of her voice has triggered something inside of me; the more I listen to her, the more out of control I become.
“Well, you know who this is, since you’re the one who called me.”
I don’t want to, but I smile.
“So, leave a message and I promise I will call you back.”
Beep.
“Julie, this is Oliver. You remember me, right? Tall, dark hair, and…can you just call me back? Please, I have to know that you’re okay. You can’t just leave in the middle of the night and make me wonder where you went. Not to mention who you went with—”
Beep.
The message is too long, so I take a deep breath before it gives me my second chance. “Julie,” is all I can get out of my mouth as I sit in the darkness and lose myself in it. After pushing the end call button, I throw the phone on the seat next to me and tap my fingers on the steering wheel.
Where could she be?
I don’t know where she lived with Brandon and I doubt her brother or nephew would appreciate me knocking on their door in the middle of the night to tell them I lost her. “Fuck.” I shake my head, lowering it into my hands. “What is happening to me?” Just one week ago, I was perfectly fine with sleeping with random women and not knowing their phone numbers—or last names. Heather had broken my insides up so badly that no one wanted to fight to put them back together.
No one except Julie.
I miss her so much already.
I can’t smell her strawberry shampoo anymore and that deepens my anger. Tears form in the corners of my eyes as I lay my head back onto the headrest. I want to close my eyes, but I think about going home, back to my apartment. My eyelids are too heavy to get there safely. Every time I close my eyes, I think about Brandon taking Julie’s clothes off—
Ring.
Julie’s number flashes across the screen and I damn near drop the phone after grabbing it from the seat. I quickly hit the answer button and listen but she says nothing. “Julie?” My voice cracks; I hope I don’t hear anything disturbing on her end. “Are you okay?”
She breathes into the phone. “I’m okay.”
An immense wave of relief washes over me and I want to reach out and touch her. I don’t care where I need to drive—I am going to get her and bring her back home. “Where are you? I can come get you. I’m in Rockford.”
I hear her breathe in sharply and then blow it back out slowly, like she’s preparing to rip off a Band-Aid from my arm. “You should go home and get some sleep, then, because I’m not there.”
“Where are you, then?” I demand. The echo of my voice in the car rings in my ears. “What has he done to you?”
“Who?” Her voice is small as if she doesn’t want to wake someone.
I scoff. “I know you left with Brandon.”
“No, I didn’t…who told you that? Madrie and her husband—you know, the workers from the Inn that I met earlier today? They picked me up in their utility cart down one of the walking trails earlier. I’m still at the lake.”
Heather is going to regret lying to me.
“Okay, then I’m coming back to get you.” I start the car. “I’ll be there at dawn.” I don’t bother putting my seat belt back on—the sooner I leave, the sooner I can get her back where she belongs.
Here. Next to me.
I hear someone talking in the background and let out a frustrated grunt because she’s distracted. “No, you should go home and get some sleep, Oliver. Please?”
I let the silence fill the Jeep. Finally, even though my throat is raw, I ask her, “Why did you leave me?”
“I told you it wasn’t going to work, remember? I knew you wouldn’t let it go, so I left without you knowing. I’m sorry for worrying you.” I picture her full lips frowning. “I have to go, okay?”
“No, don’t go,” I plead with her. “Just promise me that I can see you tomorrow.”
I hear her sigh. “Oliver, I have to go.”
“Promise me. I’ll go home and sleep and drive back up tomorrow, pick you up, and bring you back to Rockford, okay? Promise me, Julie.” The demand in my voice even scares me, but she doesn’t seem to miss a stride. She knows how to handle me at my worst.
“Okay, I promise. I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”
My heart stops and I feel like I’m being stabbed in the chest with a rusty knife dipped in acid. “Julie?”
She’s already hung up on me. I cry the rest of the drive to my apartment. There’s a huge hole in my body and it hurts bad. I lock the door behind me and take a look around. Everything is the same as when I left it, but I’m not the same.
I’ve changed. She’s changed me.
I want more; I need more.
Julie is my match in every single way.
My Julie.
Once I collapse on the bed, I realize Julie isn’t the only thing I miss. I miss sleeping next to her. This bed seems way too big and empty, so I shove as many pillows as I can find on the other side. I groan into my pillow and throw another one over my head to drown out the darkness and silence. “Julie, what are you doing to me?” I whisper. “I don’t want to go through this again.”
I close my eyes and try to force myself to sleep without her. I hold my breath and wait, listening for her soft breathing, but instead all that meets my ears is someone’s deep, familiar voice calling my name.
***
“Hey, boy, come over here,” the voice says. “Come look at this bird.” I follow the voice and see a man in a blue shirt, crouching on the ground. He’s low enough next to an open window that he won’t scare the bird off its perch a few feet away outside.
Dad.
“Holy shit,” I say out loud and rub my eyes. “You’re dead.”
He laughs and pats me on the back really hard. “Nice language, boy. Look.” He points out a window and there’s a fat bluebird singing on the branch closest to us. “It’s important to stop and appreciate things like this, kid.”
“Dad?” I say, confused. “What are you doing here?”
He half-smiles and I recognize my features in his. “You brought me here, dummy. Think about it.”
“Okay, so…” I look in a mirror and see my adult self. “This is too weird. You’re dead.”
My dad scoffs. “That’s rude, son. Keep saying that and I’ll leave.”
I grab his arm. “Don’t leave. Not again.”
His hair falls into his face and I shake my head at the resemblance once he brushes it back from his eyes. “So, you’re in a bit of a situation, aren’t you?”
“How do you know?”
He eyeballs me over his wire-rimmed glasses. “I know things.”
“I can’t tell her how I feel,” I blurt out. “I know you want me to and that’s what you would do, but I just can’t. Not after what Heather did to me.” He nods in silence as he eyes me, moving his head from side to side while I give him more excuses. “And not to mention that we literally have known each other for a week and it’s nearly impossible to have strong feelings for someone after such a short period of time.”
He keeps nodding and listening to me until I’m finished. “You know who you sound like?” I shake my head. “Your grandfather. He wasn’t one for much affection either.”
My face falls. “I’m not him,” I say. “He was cold-hearted and raw.”
“And you’re not?”
I snap at him. “Of course not, or I wouldn’t have been so willing to marry Heather, or like Julie as much as I do.”
He clears his throat and places his hand on my shoulder, pushing me down into a chair so I’ll shut up and listen to him. “I’m only going to say this once, son: You are your grandfather. You may not want to admit it, but he kept people at a distance too. I’m not saying what Heather did to you was right—hell, your mother did the same thing to me—but what I’m saying is, are you going to let yourself get in the way of your own happiness? Tell her how you feel or don’t, but you’ll definitely regret it someday if you choose not to.”
“Dad?” I look up at him and see my own eyes. “Why didn’t you ever tell me Mom cheated on you?”
He shrugs. “I stayed with her because I loved her—don’t mistake that for weakness.”
