by Scott, Lisa
“I know she’s gorgeous,” Kevin said. “You think the entire male population here hasn’t noticed? I can’t believe she’s not seeing anyone.”
“Well, I’m going to ask her out.”
“Hey, what if I wanted to ask her out?” Kevin protested.
Tate snorted. “You don’t have the balls to go over there and ask her. But I do. I’m going to ask her to homecoming.”
“You’re wasting your time,” Kevin had said.
Ignoring him, Tate stood up and threw out his lunch. His heart had been pounding as he walked over to her table. He wiped his sweaty palms on his pants. Posters for the upcoming homecoming dance covered the walls of the cafeteria. If he didn’t ask her, someone else would. The dance was three weeks away.
All the girls at the table stopped talking when Tate walked over. His voice disappeared for a moment. It was harder than he’d imagined.
“Can we help you?” asked Alyssa’s friend, Brandi, looking him up and down while trying to hide a smile.
He cleared his throat. “Can I talk to Alyssa for a minute?”
The rest of the girls at the table flashed each other looks and choked back giggles. They gathered up their lunch trays. “Sure, we were just leaving anyway,” said Alyssa’s friend, Chelsea.
“Come on girls, let’s give them their privacy. I’m sure he has something real important to talk about,” Brandi said, waggling her eyebrows.
Alyssa sat at the table, her face turning red. She took a big bite of her cookie. She did not look excited to see him. He sat down across from her and drummed his fingers on the table. Damn, he’d thought. Why did I do this?
When she finished chewing she looked up at him. “You’re Tate Taylor, right?”
“Yeah. We’re in bio together.”
She nodded and bit her lip, then glanced around the cafeteria. “And who’s your friend you’re sitting with?” She looked across the room at Kevin.
Tate wondered if his own face was turning red, too. She wasn’t interested in him. She was asking about Kevin. Shoot. What was he going to do now? He couldn’t humiliate himself and ask her out. “Uh, that’s Kevin Whitmore.” He wiped his hands on his thighs again. “And he’s thinks you’re hot.” Tate shrugged. “Would you, I don’t know, want to go out with him?”
Alyssa blushed a deeper shade of red, not quite the color of her hair, and curled a strand around her finger. She blinked a few times. “Go out with Kevin?” She pushed her lunch tray away and shrugged. “Um, yeah. Sure.”
His heart did a great big flop into his belly. “Great. That’s really great. I’ll go tell him.” He stared at her a moment longer and hoped his face didn’t show how devastated he felt.
“So, okay. Thanks,” she said, looking anywhere but at him.
He stood up and walked back to the table, his chin tucked against his chest. He sat down and blew out a breath.
“So, how’d it go?” Kevin asked.
Tate’s throat tightened and the sting of embarrassment left him tongue-tied for a moment. “When I went over there, she started asking about you.”
Kevin smiled. “Really?”
Tate nodded and ran a hand through his hair. “I wasn’t going to make a fool out of myself if she was into you, so I told her you thought she was hot and wanted to go out with her.”
“What?” Kevin’s smile fell.
“You said she was hot.”
“Well, yeah. I don’t know if I want to date anyone right now. I wanted to go solo to homecoming, check out the single ladies. I heard Marti Klein was going with a group of friends. I wouldn’t want to miss out on Party Marti.”
Tate sighed. Out of relief or frustration, he wasn’t sure. “At least go out with Alyssa once. She said she was interested. I’m going to look like even more of a jerk if you don’t. What do you have to lose? It’s not like you have to marry her. Just take her to the movies or something.”
Kevin rolled his eyes. “Whatever.”
That had been eleven years ago. Eleven years of pretending it didn’t kill him every time he saw them together. Of wondering what would have happened if he just had been honest with her that day. Of telling himself he was the fool of the century.
Eleven years of realizing she was everything he wanted in a woman.
Tate came back from his pathetic trip down the road of regrets and took a swig of his beer. Seemed like everyone else around him was laughing and having a good time catching up after ten years. For him, it was just reopening old wounds. He watched Alyssa on the dance floor. She was even more beautiful than she’d been in high school. She closed her eyes and waved her hands over her head, swaying to the music. He could watch her all night. Sadly, that’s all he’d ever been able to do. Tate looked away and noticed Kevin watching her, too. Kevin took a long drink of beer and turned back to his date.
The breakup couldn’t have been easy on Kevin. After that first date of theirs senior year, Kevin and Alyssa had been inseparable. Everyone thought they were the cutest couple. They were voted king and queen at prom, which was great fun to stand by and watch. Standing up as Kevin’s best man had been tougher than hell. Alyssa had been a beautiful bride, and Tate couldn’t help imagine standing with her at the altar instead of Kevin. Once Alyssa and Kevin were married, Tate made a point of not hanging out with them as often. It’s one thing to have a secret crush on your buddy’s girlfriend; it’s downright wrong to be lusting after his wife.
Tate hadn’t yet found a woman who intrigued him as much as Alyssa did. Hell, maybe he had just built her up in his head, but Alyssa had been the root of many a drunken night wallowing in regrets.
Kevin made his way down the bar toward Tate with Lorena in tow. “Bro, a lot of the women have gotten even hotter,” Kevin said, checking out the action on the dance floor.
“Not that you’re looking,” Tate said, glancing at Lorena. But she was sipping on a mixed drink with a bored expression. “It’s great to see everyone, isn’t it?”
Kevin snorted. “Everyone except Alyssa.”
“You had to have known she’d be here. Isn’t that why you brought your date? To show her you’ve moved on?”
Kevin laughed. “No.”
Tate felt his jaw tighten. “Well, be nice to her. Alyssa’s a good girl.”
“Jesus, Tate. Whose side are you on?” Kevin’s eyes were narrowed.
Tate took a step back and held his hands up. “I’m not on anyone’s side. She’s my friend and I think she’s having a harder time with all this than you are.”
“A harder time? Why should she be having a hard time at all? She’s the one who wanted the damn divorce.” Kevin’s nostrils flared. “She should be frickin’ ecstatic.”
Tate pursed his lips before their discussion turned into something more. “I’m going outside for some fresh air.”
Kevin waved him off in dismissal. “Whatever, dude. I’ll catch you later. Hey, did you see Marti Klein? Can’t believe how buttoned-up she is now. Class Flirt. Not anymore.”
Tate set his empty beer bottle on the bar. “People change, Kevin.” And not always for the better, he thought, wondering when his friend had become such an ass.
***
Alyssa watched Tate go out the door. Was he leaving already? She grabbed Brandi’s arm. “I’ll be right back,” she shouted.
Brandi kept dancing, shaking her hips. “Okay!”
Alyssa hurried to the door, hoping she could catch Tate before he left. She shuffled down the ramp, looking for him. He was gone. He’d left without saying goodbye to her? She stood at the bottom of the ramp, feeling lost.
“Hey, looks like you had the same idea I did.”
Alyssa turned to find Tate leaning against a building along the wharf. “Just needed a break,” he said.
She smiled. “Me, too.” She walked over and leaned against the wall next to him, the bricks rough on the back of her arms. “I didn’t know how hard it would be seeing him.”
Tate kicked at a stone on the ground. “Does
it make you wish you were still together?”
She hesitated. “It makes me wish I hadn’t had to go through it all. But, no. I don’t wish we were still together. It wasn’t working. It was the right thing to do. Hell, I probably should’ve done it a few years ago. But just because it’s right doesn’t mean it’s easy.”
He looked up from the ground, one corner of his mouth curling down. “I’m surprised you don’t hate me for setting you two up.”
She chuckled, remembering that day well. She’d actually gone home and cried because Tate hadn’t asked her out. When she saw him walking across the cafeteria toward her, she’d hoped he was coming to talk to her. The homecoming dance was three weeks away; she’d thought maybe he’d ask her to go.
She hadn’t had many classes with Tate over the years, but when she did, she’d always appreciated his sense of humor. It wasn’t juvenile stunts someone like Peter Schmidt might pull, but funny jokes the teachers laughed at, too. Tate was smart and not afraid to show it. He was tall and well built, and was so much more like a man than most of the guys in her class. Tate seemed like the kind of guy with big dreams for the future and no time for dating some silly girl in high school. Alyssa had spent many a night dreaming about being wrapped in his big arms. So she panicked and froze when he actually sat down in front of her that day. She’d taken a big bite of her cookie because she didn’t know what to say, then started babbling, pretending she didn’t know his last name or who he was sitting with.
When she found out Tate’s friend Kevin had sent him over to see if she was interested, her heart fell. She was so embarrassed that she’d thought Tate could like her. And what was she going to say, “No, I want to go out with you?” Maybe she knew how to be that direct now at twenty-eight, but not at eighteen.
So she’d said sure to the date with Kevin. He was cute, and what would one date hurt? Alyssa didn’t want to seem like a bitch and turn him down. Then their first date went better than expected. And they started talking on the phone and going out again. By the time they went to homecoming, they were a couple. And everyone thought they were so cute together. She loved that. She loved being a couple. She loved being “Kevin and Alyssa.” And she’d thought she loved him. No, not just thought. She really had loved him at one point. But then one day she realized the love wasn’t there anymore.
She looked over at Tate, who was staring at the ground, his bottom lip pushed up against the top one like he was fighting back a frown.
Alyssa set her hand on his arm. “Why would I be mad at you for setting us up? You were just trying to help out a friend.”
He sighed and seemed to be thinking things over for a few moments. Then he said, “I just wish I hadn’t done it.”
“Well, you can’t go back in time, can you?”
“No. You can’t,” he said.
They were quiet, standing there, listening to the music and laughter on the boat and the occasional squawk of a seagull overhead. “What about you? How come you haven’t found the right girl yet?” she asked.
He looked off, then shrugged. “Guess my standards are too high.” He laughed. “I don’t know. I’ve never felt like I met anyone I could even consider spending my life with. Plus my job keeps me pretty busy on weekends. It’s not easy to have a relationship with my schedule.”
“That’s too bad. You’re a great guy.”
He looked at her and smiled. “Thanks. So, you calling it a night?”
She shook her head. “No, I just came out here to find you. Besides, it would look like I was running away. This is an important milestone, seeing him for the first time after the divorce. Seeing him for the first time with a new woman. Guess it’s good to kill two birds with one stone.” She pushed off from the wall and flipped her hair over her shoulders. She widened her eyes and plastered on a smile. “How do I look? Do I look like I’m carefree and having fun and not paying one bit of attention to my ex?”
He cocked his head and tapped his chin. “More like a first-year drama student going for carefree and fun and paying a little bit too much attention to your ex.”
She dropped the smile. “Should I go flirt with someone? Make him jealous?”
“Why? You don’t want him anymore.”
“I know, but I want him to think someone else will want me again.” Her voice caught and her heart hurt. After being part of a couple for so many years, she felt so alone. So unsure of who she was now.
“I think he knows what he lost. Why else would he show up with a model on his arm? He’s got something to prove.” He stepped away from the wall and held out his hand. “Come on. Let’s go have fun. You won’t see most of these people for another ten years.”
“Hopefully I won’t see Kevin for another thirty.” She grabbed Tate’s hand and squeezed, so grateful she had such a good friend. What would have happened if she’d been right so many years ago and Tate had been walking over to ask her out? No what ifs, she reminded herself, just what’s next.
***
Tate led Alyssa up the boarding ramp. It was easy to imagine this was more than it seemed, walking along together hand in hand. The sounds of bad karaoke drifted toward them. “You up for a duet?” Kevin would never do karaoke with Alyssa when the three of them went out and happened to hit a bar featuring karaoke night. Tate had always been more than happy to take the stage with her. It’s not that he liked singing so much, it was just a chance to be close to her. They had fun doing all the classic duets from Grease together, and “Paradise by the Dashboard Light.” “I Got You Babe” was another favorite. When they were singing and dancing, staring at each other as they belted out the words, he could pretend they were a real couple, at least for a few minutes.
“Karaoke? Tonight?” Alyssa laughed and the warm, salty breeze swirled her hair. Suddenly, she was feeling much better. “Why not? I think I’ve had enough alcohol to pull it off.” She narrowed her eyes. “And I’ve got the perfect song.”
***
After getting a standing ovation for their rendition of “Stop Dragging My Heart Around” and then “Don’t Go Breaking My Heart,” the crowd hooted and hollered, demanding another song.
After his fourth beer, memories and regrets were catching up with Tate as he sang with Alyssa, thinking about all their time together over the years. All the wasted time when she should have been his but was with another man instead. Another man who hadn’t treated Alyssa the way Tate would’ve treated her.
Tate went over to the DJ with his next song selection. Alyssa squealed when the music from Grease started playing. She set a hand on his shoulder and started bouncing her hip like Sandy did in the movie.
Tate was happy to see Alyssa having a good time, forgetting that she was dodging her ex. And he was having a good time, too, belting out the words with as much conviction as he could because, for all she knew, it was just a song. But for him, the words he was singing to Alyssa were the truth: you’re the one that I want.
When they finished and the audience cheered, he snaked his hand around her tiny waist, rubbing his thumb along the soft lace of her dress. She looped her arms around his neck and kissed his cheek, then they took their bows. Hand in hand, they left the stage laughing. Tate spotted Kevin standing against a wall, scowling. Lorena was nowhere to be seen.
“Looks like one person didn’t appreciate our performance,” Alyssa said, jerking her chin toward Kevin.
It was a stupid thing to do, but Tate pulled her closer. “Ignore him. Let’s go get a drink.”
Tiffany Bailey was standing next to them and she looped her arm through Tate’s. “Tate Ramsey. Do you know I always had a thing for you in high school?”
“No, I had no idea.” All the girls in the senior class could’ve been after him and Tate wouldn’t have known. Tiffany had always been cute, with big eyes and jet-black hair. He’d never thought of her romantically, though.
She tugged on a lock of his hair curling over his shirt collar. “We were in homeroom together for four years and you never not
iced me staring at you?”
He was at a loss. “No, sorry. Guess I’m pretty clueless.”
“Well, I did. Every day. I always thought we should double-date with Kevin and Alyssa, but you never asked. So here I am asking now! What do you think about catching up on lost time?”
Tate didn’t want to leave Alyssa’s side, but she nudged him with her arm. “Go on. I’ll be fine,” she whispered.
Tiffany was pulling him onto the dance floor before he could think of a good reason to say no. And Alyssa wasn’t protesting. All these years later, and she still wasn’t interested. Was it time to put an end to his fantasies? Alyssa wasn’t his and she never would be.
Tiffany nuzzled against him as they danced, and Tate looked over to see Alyssa’s reaction. But she was talking with a few people, laughing. He was glad for that at least. Maybe she was finally having a nice time. Maybe running into Kevin tonight was the best thing that could have happened to her.
***
Alyssa did her best not to gawk at Tiffany and Tate dancing. He’d had girlfriends before and she hadn’t been jealous. So why did she feel a cold pain in her heart now? It was silly. Tate had been her friend for years. She was just having these feelings because she needed someone to lean on. She needed someone to be there for her and he was off dancing with another woman.
When the song ended, Alyssa thought about cutting in and dancing with Tate, but Tiffany was holding on to his hand like she wasn’t ready to surrender him just yet. Then the music stopped and the DJ cut in. “We’re going to take a little break here for something special. Your class president, Brandi Parkman, is here to announce the reunion king and queen.”
The crowd cheered and Brandi took the microphone from the DJ. She got a few appreciative whistles and catcalls. “Why, thank you,” she said, pretending to be embarrassed, but undoubtedly loving all the attention. “We had one of the waiters tally up your votes to keep things legit—don’t want another ballot-stuffing debacle like we had at homecoming.” She rolled her eyes.
