by Crystal Rose
Ryan was quietly getting ready to go back. He spent every moment with Phillip. They never spoke of feelings or even of the incident from the first few days. But things were easy between them. Phillip talked Ryan into giving him a sponge bath that led to Ryan taking a 'break' in the rest room. Phillip made sure Ryan was hard as hell, then told him to go 'relieve' it because he (Phillip) wanted to hear him come… That made Ryan groan loudly. Nurse Kelly decided to enter the room at that exact moment.
“Oh for the love of….! Ryan! The man isn't better yet and you're in there masturbating?”
Ryan choked and promptly lost his hard-on. “Jesus, woman! No wonder forty-five percent of the male population has thought about going gay at some point!”
“Are you telling me that the sound of my female voice killed your hard-on? You do realize I'm certified in giving you shots-- in your ass I may remind you! And trust me when I say I can make it hurt and not in a good way.”
Phillip chuckled.
Ryan came out blushing like a school boy. “Can we not talk about my hard-on?”
“You brought it up,” she said teasingly. “You're looking good, Sgt. Grabowski. Your color’s coming back and you’re looking so much healthier,” Kelly continued, grinning at the man.
“Baby, I always look good. When is someone going to cut my hair?” he asked.
She rolled her eyes. “Later. Now suck on this.” She pushed a thermometer into his mouth, then took his blood pressure. After she was done she smiled widely. “Everything is looking normal.”
She left shortly after that. Aside from the interruption, he liked the nurse. She was friendly and had a wicked sense of humor.
Ryan sat down in the chair beside the bed and sighed.
“Three more days, huh?”
“Yeah. I'm lucky Kripke got me on this rotation, I guess. I don't want to go back.”
“Hey, none of that. You have buddies back there who are counting on you,” Phillip said softly. “You can tell them that I'm awake and doing better. It will make all the difference.”
Ryan nodded. He laid his head on the bed looking up at his lover. “I...” He stopped when Phillip's fingers touched his lips.
“Not yet,” the older man whispered.
Ryan nodded and closed his eyes. It was enough to be with Phillip; to hear his voice; to feel his touch.
Phillip tugged on the younger man's hair until Ryan was inches from him. They kissed softly, pouring every ounce of feeling into their gentle kiss.
***
25 Nov 2006
Phil,
I'm back. Everyone says hello. They miss you. Well not really. You were kind of a dick but they know you did it so they could all make it home but I do miss you. A lot.
Alexander said I'm being bitchy but I figure since you’re not here someone has to do it. LOL.
I talked to your mom. She said they are taking the cast off soon. The doctors are surprised at how well you're healing. But they don't know you. Not like we do.
Well I need to go. I just wanted you to know I'm back.
Freckles
***
27 Nov 2006
Freckles,
Come on admit it. They love me. It's my charming personality isn't it?
I'm glad you're back safely. I kinda get why Mark is always so cranky when Patrick is deployed. The news sucks and most of the time they give just enough details to make a person go crazy.
Yeah, they're gonna take the cast off and I start therapy soon. I was told I couldn't deploy any more. That seriously sucks. I can't let my guys go and not be there. Bastards. But I would probably be more of a problem than a solution, especially if you're with me. You're a big enough girl to put yourself at risk for me.
I'm counting the days till you come home. When you do...we have to talk.
Phil
PS I knew you loved being called ‘Freckles’. It's adorable just like you are. Yes you are!
***
The months went by quickly for Phillip. He was finally discharged after six months. His parents wanted him to come home with them but he went back to Hood. He had to get back on the job. His father knew why. They had an understanding. He wouldn't push himself and they wouldn't baby him.
Physical therapy sucked. Phillip hated it. He always felt so weak but it was paying off. He could walk a few steps with the aid of hand rails. But mostly he was stuck in the wheel chair. He made it his personal goal to be standing when Ryan came home.
He also had several projects he wanted to finish before his boyfriend came home - namely moving all of Ryan's shit into his house. Kenneth, Sandy and Mark helped him with that. It was going to be a surprise to Ryan but Phillip didn't think he would mind.
His latest project was to make Ryan's parents open their eyes to whom and what their son was. He got the phone number from Mac and stared at the phone.
He knew that it hurt Ryan. Ryan had always been close to his parents. When he had ‘come out’ his parents ripped his heart out and Phillip wanted nothing more than to kick their asses and make them see what sort of man their son was.
He dialed the number with purpose.
“Hello?”
Phillip cleared his throat. “Um...Hi. My name is Phillip Grabowski,” he started and rolled his eyes. “I'm a friend of your son.”
“Josh? Is he okay?” came a soft, pleading voice.
“No… Ryan.” He took a deep breath. “We serve together. He's over in Iraq right now.”
“Oh. Ryan.” The voice went colder and Phillip wanted to scream. “I'm sorry. Ryan is dead to us.”
“Yeah. Ryan.” Phillip resisted the urge to growl at the woman. Ryan wasn't dead. But he was in a place that could make him that way. Fucking bitch didn't even think about what she was saying. “I know y'all don't…agree with his…life choices but you should be proud of him. He's a great man,” Phillip said softly.
“I'm sorry, we don't talk about Ryan. He...broke his father's heart.”
Well good, because they broke Ryan's heart.
“Ma'am, I just think you should get to know your son. He's amazing.”
“We know all we need to know. He's made a mockery of everything his father and I tried to teach him. He'll burn in Hell for his sins.”
Phillip took a deep breath and willed himself not to lose his temper. “Ma'am, some would disagree with you. Ryan is well-respected. He's smart and he takes care of the men under him. He saves lives. He's a hero to a lot of guys.”
“That just tells you how bad this world has gotten. He's a queer. He's a sin in Gods’ eyes and only a sodomite would ever consider him a hero.”
That did it. Phillip's jaw tightened and he snorted.
“Alright, you know I tried to be nice. I did. But, lady you just went there. Now you shut the fuck up--” The woman began to sputter. “Shut the HELL up and listen to me. First, your son is a GOOD man. God hasn't forgotten him. God loves him warts and all, which is a helluva lot more than his parents did. I would think being the good Christian folks you are, you would know that only God gets to judge. Not some close-minded hypocritical human.” He took a deep breath and continued. “He puts his life on the line so you and your husband can sit back and call him and the others like him a sinner. So you can condemn him to hellfire because he doesn't conform to your idea of what sin is or isn't. Let me tell you this, Lady, I've been in the Army a whole lot longer than he has. I can safely say that if I wanted one person at my back it would be your son. Ryan is the best soldier I ever had the pleasure to serve with. He would make a great son if you and your husband would pull your head out of your asses and just look at him!”
The woman was silent. Then she let out a soft breath. “I'm sorry, Mr Grabowski. He's no longer our concern.”
Phillip snarled at that. “Don't you worry, Mrs Gracin. He'll never have to worry about being your concern. He's MY family now. I just wished that you fucking good Christians would open your eyes and stop judging him. He'd love to have his parents back in his life
. But, you know what? I was a fucking idiot for even thinking I could talk to you. I hope you have a great life. Don't worry about Ryan. You're right, he's not your concern. He's mine. And know what else? He really doesn't need a mother and father anymore. He's got people that love and respect the hell out of him.” He slammed the phone down and threw it across the room.
“Did my phone piss you off?” Mark asked lazily.
“No.”
“Then why did you abuse it?”
“Because Ryan's parents are fucking idiots. Wanna go to Ohio with me?”
“Nope, killing them would only upset Ryan,” Mark said.
“Jerk.” Phillip leaned back in the chair and sighed.
“It doesn't really matter anymore; Phil. Ryan has so much family now that those two don't even register.”
“Yeah they do. For twenty-two years they loved him. How the hell they go from loving him to…? God that woman was so fucking cold I'd like to rip her head off.” Phillip growled.
“You cussed her. Her poor little virgin ears are probably still bleeding. Let's call it even. Besides if you go to jail before Ryan can get back he'll be really bitchy. I don't like bitchy Ryan.”
***
16 Dec 2006
Phillip,
Thank you.
Ryan.
***
Phillip was half asleep when the phone started to ring. It wasn't abnormal for the phone to ring so late. Phillip had several friends who called this late to make sure he was okay or Ryan would call. His hand touched the phone and he picked it up. “'Ello?” He breathed.
“You sound so fucking sexy when you first wake up.”
Phillip grinned sleepily. “Keep that up and you'll be hearing me moan. I know that's what you want.”
“Yeah and all fifty of the guys behind me want to hear that too.” Ryan chuckled. “Guess who emailed me a few days ago?”
“Umm, Mac?”
“Nope. Good guess though. My mother emailed me. She said she talked to some guy...Grabba something or other. Imagine my surprise.”
“Yeah? Well fuck, sounds like someone was pretending to be me.”
“Uh huh, only thing is supposedly this guy used 'coarse' language with her. Know anything about that?”
Phillip resisted an urge to laugh. “Um...Some asshole used coarse language with a preachers’ wife? What the fuck man? That's horrible.”
“That's what I said. But, it seems whatever this guy said...really made her think. She wanted to let me know that she still didn't like my 'life choice' but she respected the fact I'm fighting the good fight.” Ryan snorted. “She made sure to tell me that this would be her only email and my 'father' would never know. But, in her own way she was proud of me.”
“Wow. So this guy helped to lube up her ass so she could move her head a little bit. This guy sounds fucking awesome.”
“Yeah, he is pretty fucking awesome. Matter of fact when I get back I'm gonna hunt him down. I owe him. Gonna rock his world.”
“Yeah?” Phillip stiffened and grinned. His cock was already half-hard. Ryan was the only person in the world that could get him hard just saying ‘hello’.
“Oh yeah. I have this new game. It's called letting him fuck my mouth until he comes. I think he'll like it,” Ryan said slowly.
Phillip growled. “Oh yeah. I know he'll love it. Like a lot.”
“Think so? I may even--” His voice dropped even lower. “Let him fuck my ass. It's been a long fucking time since anyone fucked me. I bet I'm really fucking tight.”
Phillip agreed with that. “What if you can't find him?” he asked, slowly stroking his aching cock.
“I dunno. I think I'll find him. Don't you?”
“Oh yeah,” Phillip breathed.
“Dude, are you masturbating?” Ryan laughed.
“I hate you.”
“No you don't. You want me. And Phil?”
“Yeah?”
“When I get home...I will rock your world. My ass is all yours. Just for you.”
Phillip growled. “Remember that, Ryan. Because when you get home...oh hell..”
Ryan's breathing became ragged. He leaned into the phone booth, thanking whatever God it was that invented the privacy wall. “Gonna come for me, baby? I would really love to hear that.” Ryan purred. He could hear Phillip moaning. “Please. I need to hear you.”
Phillip groaned. His hand stroked himself faster. He jerked harder and faster until he was nearly losing it. Then Ryan’s voice pushed him over the edge:
“Come for me, Phil. Please!”
That's all it took. Phillip growled and came all over his hand and belly. “Fuck...Ryan...you seriously suck.”
“Uh huh, I am the one that has to walk away from here with a rock-hard cock. Not you.”
“Serves you right,” Phillip said sleepily. “Gotta go?”
“Oh yeah. I'm getting dirty looks.” Ryan laughed. “I'll talk to you soon.”
“Uh huh.”
Chapter Fifteen
25 Dec 2006
Ryan,
I've thought long and hard on what to get you for Christmas. But since you're way the fuck over there and I'm way the fuck over here I couldn't give you what I wanted. Instead I'm giving you this.
I think about you all the time. You are the first thing on my mind when I wake up and the last thing I think of when I sleep. Your name is a constant on my tongue. I wonder how you are; what you’re doing; and even if you ate enough that day.
You'd like that I know you that well because every time we fuck I know exactly where, when and how hard to push you.
I know you, babe. I know what makes you tick. You love it when I masturbate. Especially when I let you watch. You love when I run my hand down your chest. Your nipples are so sensitive that a simple breath can make them hard as stones.
You love fucking my mouth. You seriously love when I deepthroat you and then make those little noises that cause my throat to vibrate around you. I can hear your little whimpers and pleas, Ryan. It's the sexiest, fucking thing I have ever heard in my life.
But the thing that makes me realize how close to heaven I am is the way you respond when I'm buried balls deep inside of you. The last time we made love you tore my back to shreds. I loved it. Your mark was all over me. No one would ever be able to get that close to me. Ever.
Next time—when you’re home I'm going to take you, Ryan. I'm going to bend you over the couch and fuck you until you can't walk. This time I'm not going to use a condom either. I want a part of me inside of you that you can't wash off.
Then when we can barely stand we're going to start over except this time you're going to be balls deep in ME. I want you to. I need you to. I don't have to tell you how much pleasure you will get from this but know this. I'll be just as happy. I'll have just as much pleasure from you being inside me as I get from being inside of you.
Now, to get this gift you have to stay sharp. Keep your head down. Don't be a hero unless you have to. All you have to do is survive. I know you can.
Always,
Phil
***
26 Dec 2006
Guys,
MERRY CHRISTMAS! We are all eagerly awaiting your arrival back home. Even though we know it isn't for a long time yet. Katie says for Ryan to hurry up and get home because her dad really misses him and so does she. Ken is sitting here laughing at me for tearing up but I can't help it. I miss you all so much.
Phil is doing pretty well, Ryan. Except he misses you and PT has been kicking his ass. He swears he will be standing and walking before you get home. He refuses to be in the wheelchair to greet you. I think he's more worried about no sex if he can't walk. But, that's just me.
Sandy
***
1 Jan 2007
Phillip,
You—God damn. You did it on purpose didn't you? I've been a walking hard-on since I read your email. I'll make it home. There is no way I'm passing up an opportunity to fuck you. Not a chance.
I'
m going to fuck you senseless. Fuck, I can already feel it. I'm going to gobble you fucking down, Phil. I'm going to suck you off like I never have. You're my fucking everything. I want to taste you. I want you to taste yourself on my lips.
Then I'm going to finger you up good, and slide in as deeply as I can. I'm so fucking hot for you right now I could—burst. September—just wait till September. I'm going to fuck you until YOU walk funny.
I'll be home, Phillip. Don't ever doubt it.
Ryan
***
1 Jan 2007
Ryan,
You know, I've always found you and Phil insanely hot but I always kinda saw Phil as the top. Probably because he's so damn dominant. Alex says I need to find a new hobby. It freaks him out that I think about you two having sex...now I think he gets what I'm all about, y'all. That was kinda hot...
Tory
***
1 Jan 2007
Gracin,
I thank you. Seriously. Thank you. You’re the bestest. EVER.
