Oh, God. Bad idea. This was an awful, terrible idea, I realized immediately. I swallowed back the nausea and held as still as possible, my teeth aching from biting so hard that I thought the spoon would split in half. I couldn’t see Chloe working as she counteracted the demonic brand, but it felt like my skin was on fire. The best description I could think of at the time was cauterization, where flesh was destroyed and cleansed at the same time. The skin around my shoulder sputtered and sparked in reaction to her gift, my demon body instinctively trying to reject the power she wielded to make it whole.
I tried to make it as easy as possible for them, so I held my anguished cries inside. Thankfully, Charlene didn’t waste any time, her cuts were fast, deep and intentional. She had a steady hand and removed all empathy from the situation. My muffled scream didn’t stop her from cutting away the demon’s mark in spite of the pain it caused. Lacey bawled hysterically, the sight of it almost too much for her to bear, bringing clean rags and antiseptic.
Tears streamed down my face, and just as the pain of it became too much, Charlene smiled weakly and set the dagger on the table. “Done.”
With her word, I was finally able to let go. The exposed nerves and fresh pain were still a searing agony across by back, but I was fortunately able to pass out and leave it behind at that moment.
Chapter Five
Miserable at Best
ML
I blinked myself awake when my head started to hurt again. It took a moment for my eyes to focus in the dim light of the apartment. Everything still felt a little hazy and I couldn’t remember where I was. Breathing was painful as I gasped frantically, which probably meant I had a couple of broken ribs, and the surroundings were unfamiliar.
A blanket had been thrown across my legs and there was a new bandage on my shoulder. Sitting up with a groan, I glanced around and found Caleb kneeling on the floor beside me with his head hanging in submission. When he heard me rouse, Caleb cleared his throat and slowly raised his head to look at me. “You’re awake,” he mumbled.
“Mm-mm,” I acknowledged. My voice was hoarse from having just woken up and there was a rumble in the back of my throat. “What are you doing?”
“I was praying,” he confessed. My eyes flickered to the mattress to see his hands, fingers interlaced, as he knelt on the floor beside me. The scruff of a beard was growing along his chin and it looked like he’d been sitting there for days. “I spent the last eighteen months praying for your return, begging the powers that be to keep you safe, and now here you are. So I’m overwhelmed with gratitude and thanking them for doing what I asked. You have no idea how incredible this is, I thought I’d never see you again.”
“Well, here I am.”
Caleb nodded. “Yes, how are you doing?”
I flinched at the pain radiating all through my back and throbbing headache. “I’ve been worse, but I’ve also been better.”
“Chloe did the best she could to heal the wound, and there won’t be any lasting nerve or muscle damage. She would have closed up the seal completely except the Council called her away unexpectedly, so for the time being it’s going to hurt. A lot.”
“Tell her thank you for me.”
“I will.”
He rested his head against the back of the chair and stared at me for what felt like an immeasurable amount of time. My stomach was doing flip-flops at the realization I was back and this was really happening. I wanted to tell him everything and explain everything, all the reasons why I had to leave before, but my mouth ran dry. He didn’t smile, he didn’t scowl at me either. He seemed as thrown for a loop as I was. Neither one of us expected to ever see the other again. I knew there was nothing I could say that would possibly make it better.
“How long has it been?” I asked him nervously.
“A few hours. Everyone else went home, they’re going to check on you tomorrow.”
“Oh,” I responded dumbly, not knowing what to say.
He gestured to a cellphone on the coffee table and said, “I got you this. It’s a burner I picked up while you were still asleep. I already programmed everyone’s number into it, including mine, so you can get in touch. If you’re planning to stay off the radar then it will come in handy sooner or later.”
“Thanks.”
Caleb looked me over carefully at my response and leaned forward in his seat. “Are you alright?”
I swallowed hard and nodded, trying hard not to let myself cry in front of him. I didn’t want to let him see me fall apart like that. It all came bubbling up though, the pain rocketing through my body, the emotional catharsis of being back in the Mortal Realm. Tears started welling up in my eyes and my bottom lip quivered.
Caleb sighed, offering me his hands so he could help me to my feet. “Why don’t you get washed up? It will make you feel better. I’ll make us some tea.”
“That sounds good.”
Once he left I walked over to the bathroom and stared at the mirror.
The light in the bathroom blinded me as I examined my reflection – I hardly even recognized the girl staring back at me. I was pale and had deep under-eye circles from depression and an irregular sleep cycle. My lips were swollen and chapped, drawn into a constant scowl. I laughed humorlessly when it occurred to me that I looked like something out of my favorite vampire novels. There was a cruel irony in how it matched the way I felt. Blood-sucker. I was a life sucker, I sucked the life out of anything I encountered.
I smoothed the hair away from my face and smiled. It felt wrong.
My strawberry blonde hair was falling out in pieces around my face from a loose ponytail that was barely being held in by the rubber band. Very carefully, so as not to injure my shoulder any more than it already had been, I took out the remnants of my ponytail and felt the tangled nest that had become my hair.
Ugh. I thought. What must he think of me now?
Then the tears came. More forceful than before, and I covered my face with my hands before turning on the faucet. Glancing down, I saw the healed scars from when I grasped the rope at my high school auditorium. Caleb healed them for me, as much as he could, but the strange, discolored scars would always be there. I flinched at the sight of them, thinking to myself how I was turning into a monster. There was hardly a square inch on my body that hadn’t been broken, beaten or ripped apart at some point in the last year or two – I was battle worn and tired. I stripped off all my clothing and composed myself enough to step inside, while shaking wildly. As the hot water filled the tub, I sank into it and leaned up carefully against the porcelain frame.
My shoulder was hit with a sudden jolt of pain and it brought back the traumatic memory of when Aidan had finished carving it.
“Augh!”
My screams only seemed to taunt him as I lay there on his desk, exposing my naked shoulder. My throat was sore from crying and the screams must have echoed through the palace. Aidan loved it.
“If you don’t hold still, then we’ll have to start over,” he whispered, drawing the knife gently up and down across my back. The coldness of the mahogany pressed hard against my cheek and I screamed out in pain again. Instinctively, my body tried to protect itself and dragon scales erupted on my back to protect the flesh. The shimmering tingle of magic rippled across my skin and Aidan slapped me lightly on the head.
“Stop that,” he commanded forcefully.
I gritted my teeth while shaking from the pain and clasped to the corners of his desk desperately. Tears pricked at the corner of my eyes and I thought of anything, everything that would get my mind off it. I breathed out carefully through my nose and smelled the oiled leather of his chair, the ancient musk of books that were lined up on the bookshelf, and my mind began to clear.
You agreed to this, I reminded myself. You agreed to this.
The blade cut into my skin again as I flailed weakly against the wooden surface and he finished the ancient rune, marking me as a member of his household.
Just when I thought I’d become accustomed to the
pain a fresh new wave rocked through my upper torso and I screamed out again. I could feel the heat of him behind me as he pressed against my body, adjusting the angle to make it exactly the way he wanted.
“Mephistopheles, hold her down,” Aidan commanded.
“Isn’t there an easier way of doing this?” his man-servant asked him cautiously as he took me by the hands and pinned me to the desk.
“Perhaps,” Aidan allowed. “But this one deserves a more personal touch.”
I hated the way I could hear him smiling as he said it, it made me feel dirty. I knew the other people in his office heard me screaming and not one of them spoke out against it. Mephistopheles held me down as Aidan finished the odious task. When he was done, he released me instantly and stepped back to the edge of the room.
I didn’t move. I lay there on his desk exhausted and in pain, crying because I missed my family and there was no turning back after this. I cried and lay there with my arm splayed in an awkward fashion and heard the door to his office close. Mephistopheles was gone and he and I were alone.
For a moment nothing happened, but then I felt his hands brush suggestively against my waist. I had no will to stop him; I’d given up. The next thing I knew his lips were on me, trailing a line of kisses on the shoulder where he’d marked me.
“There now,” he breathed out huskily against my skin. “That wasn’t so bad, was it?”
I was hyperventilating by the time the memory had passed.
The heat of Caleb’s shower beat down against my skin in soothing warmth, but I still felt Aidan’s hands on me after the flashback had subsided. I could smell him on me.
I reached out, quivering, as I grabbed the bar of soap and a washcloth and scrubbed it hard against my skin. Brushing harder and harder, I couldn’t get him off me. The mark and sigil were gone from my shoulder, but I still felt like he had ownership of me somehow.
Before long the skin was raw and scrubbing it clean hurt, but I couldn’t stop. I wanted to wash him off me once and for all. I was crying miserably when Caleb knocked on the bathroom door and called to me inside, “Wynn, are you okay?”
“It…won’t…come… off…” I whimpered through unspent tears. My voice was shaking as I cried through the pain, trying to wash the smell of demon off me. My skin was red, raw and almost bleeding from the ferocity of my scrubbing. I couldn’t stop with the memory of his hands on me … it was filthy, and I was even worse for having let him do it.
He opened the door and found me ruthlessly scrubbing at my skin and drew back the shower curtain. “Wynn, it’s gone,” he assured me calmly while turning off the water.
“But, I can smell them on me….”
“It’s all in your head,” he told me slowly. I looked up at him with red eyes and nodded slowly. Caleb handed me a towel and helped me wrap myself without any judgment. I was still shaking slightly and he took a piece of my hair and brought it to his nose.
“See?” he asked me cautiously, while giving a tentative smile and I thought my heart would stop. His smile … it had been too long since I’d seen it. It had been too long since anyone had touched me in a way that wasn’t violent.
“It’s just pomegranate and dove soap,” Caleb assed slowly. “There’s nothing left of him to mark you, understand?”
I nodded slowly and started breathing through my mouth while I braced my hand against the wall.
“Are you feeling any better?”
“Yes.”
“If you need some clean clothes, you’re welcome to borrow some of mine if they fit. I’ve got some pajama bottoms in the dresser and a t-shirt. That’s probably the most comfortable … sorry, this is awkward. I’m going to let you change and I’ll be back in a few minutes with the tea.”
OMG Why are you so awkward?! I scolded myself quietly. God-damn flashbacks ruin everything.
I watched him leave and carefully started drying myself with the towel. I was still shaking, trembling slightly as I glanced at the dresser he had motioned to. The smell of his cologne was warm and familiar, it reminded me of a happier time.
Deciding to take him up on his offer, I went to the dresser and started looking for the pajamas. The wooden drawer was full of neatly folded clothing and I sorted through them looking for the evasive garment. My finger touched something hard so I grabbed the mystery object and pulled it out. It was something square and tucked away inside the confines of a sock and hidden back where no one else would see.
What is this? I wondered.
I removed it from its sheath and pulled out a velvet jewelry box. I furrowed my brow, not sure what I was looking at, and then my heart began to race as I lifted the lid and saw a beautiful three-toned ring positioned carefully inside. There were three skinny bands wrapped around each other, much in the same fashion as my probationary necklace – silver, black and gold, except the black band had been encrusted with diamonds along the side and glittered spectacularly in the proper lighting.
My jaw fell open as I inspected it. It’s perfect, I thought dreamily. It’s exactly the kind of ring I would have chosen for myself. I was confused at this discovery and my brain went into overdrive, becoming a great big jungle of crazy gibberish.
Why would he keep it hidden?
After finding a loose t-shirt and pajama bottoms, I set the ring box on the counter and quickly changed. I heard him walking back down the hall and quickly returned it to the box where I had found it, shoving it deep within the drawer again to hide that I’d been snooping. A moment later he came around the corner with a mug in his hand. My heart still fluttered at the sight of him and I felt my cheeks flush.
Neither one of us said a word as he set it on the nightstand and took a seat beside me. My hands were still shaking, but I didn’t know if it was from the memories earlier or being close to him again. The warm drink and comforting presence of having Caleb next to me started working and I relaxed. I’d forgotten the affect he had on me, and how being near him calmed me to my very core. I hadn’t felt anything like that for such a long time that it drew me in like a magnet, yearning for the warmness of his touch. He smiled slightly, staring back at me with his flawless blue eyes and I breathed a sigh of relief.
I didn’t think I would ever find something quite as magical.
His eyes were more blue than usual. Blue from sadness, blue from crying, blue from many things, and I wondered if out of all the horrors they had seen I might be the worst.
I gulped down the lump rising in my throat and prepared myself for the touchy subject that was hovering overhead, like an elephant in the room. “Caleb, I’m sorry that I left. Isn’t there any way we can just skip past this and go back to the way things used to be?”
“I don’t think it can work like that,” he responded quietly. “You want to pick up where we left off? That isn’t going to happen. You were dead. I was never going to see you again.”
I swallowed hard, looking away from him as I tugged gently at the hem of the blanket I was under. This wasn’t how I wanted things to go, we’d lost too much time already. “Caleb, I never meant to leave you, but Aidan needed to be dealt with.”
“Couldn’t we have done that together?”
“No, we couldn’t,” I told him firmly.
His jaw stiffened as we stared each other down and I sniffed back the tears that were welling up inside me. I felt empty, like I was losing him all over again and reached up to touch him, placing my hands on either side of his face.
“Caleb, I’m sorry.”
He closed his eyes for a moment and breathed in deeply, before gently taking my hands away and from his body. “Sorry, I just … can’t.”
I blinked away some tears and looked back at him, embarrassed that I hadn’t anticipated his rejection. “What are you doing in Mobile anyways?”
“To be closer to my parents, I guess. Joanna and Marc decided to adopt me, so its Caleb Dunaway these days. After I got here Ryan’s dad approached me about helping out around the citrus grove in exchange for room an
d board – it worked out.”
I hadn’t thought about it before, but now that he mentioned it, that kind of made sense. Caleb worked in landscaping and the Murphy’s had an enormous citrus grove. “You work with Mr. Murphy?”
“Sort of. George is wanting to retire, so we started talking and he offered me the chance to buy half the company.”
“Wow, that’s great!”
He nodded. “Yeah, I took him up on it and it’s been smooth sailing ever since. In a couple of years, George will step down and I’ll take on the full responsibility.”
“What does Ryan think about all this, is he okay with you buying out his dad?”
“Actually, it was his idea. It’s more convenient for him and Charley to live in the city so he can commute back and forth to the school.”
“Right,” I chuckled nervously. “Well, at least you got what you always wanted, a family.”
His eyes were soft when he responded. “That’s not the only thing I wanted.”
There was a rustling at the door and I heard the latchkey open. I stiffened as a girl’s voice called out from the living room, “Babe, are you home?”
I turned to him in shock with my jaw slightly agape when she came around the corner. He turned to her matter-of-factly as she appeared with a smile, but her expression fell when she saw us sitting there together and she eyed him curiously. “Hey, what is going on here?”
There was no accusation in her voice, only confusion, which for some reason made it worse – she trusted him.
“Christine, could you come back some other time? I’m a little busy here,” he told her gently.
At first, she was confused, but then Christine got a better look at me and gasped. There were still obvious bruises on my cheek and face, not to mention the bloody gauze taped to my back. I’d seen my reflection in the mirror recently; the scene was not a pretty picture. As she grasped the magnitude of abuse that I’d encountered, her eyes went wide with understanding.
“Oh my gosh, is she okay?” Christine sputtered frantically. “Do I need to call the cops? Who did this to you?”
Down in Flames (The Earthwalker Trilogy Book 3) Page 7
