This time, I was ready for him.
Our lips touched, moving against each other in a frenzied passion as I threw my arms around his neck and pressed my body up against him. Caleb groaned as I traced my tongue along his bottom lip and sucked lightly on its plumpness. He was so soft, I couldn’t taste enough of him. I sighed as he ran his fingers through my hair and tilted my head back as his lips moved down my neck.
My heart was pounding wildly, rising steadily with our passion, and our breathing was getting ragged. His hands were everywhere, caressing my skin as they traced the feminine curve of my waist. Then dear God I was lost. Lost in my own passion, dark and savage. It was madness. Sweet, sweet madness and I never wanted it to end. It was all a blur of touching and desperate kisses as we clung on to each other, afraid that our time would end. My fingers tangled in his dark brown tresses as we melted into one another. I could barely think straight when I forced myself to pull away, catching my breath and leaning my forehead against his.
“What is happening?” I laughed. “This is insane.”
“I don’t want to lose you again.”
I exhaled with a laugh and reminded him, “You said that you were done with me.”
Caleb shook his head and looked at me in the same love-struck way he always had, while knotting his fingers in my hair.
“I thought I was.”
Chapter Fourteen
To Save You
ML
My red hair splayed out in a tangled mess across the pillow next to me.
Caleb was staring at the ceiling with his hands behind his head, breathing deeply as we stared up at the ceiling. We didn’t speak for what seemed like an impossibly long space of time, considering the monumental shift that had happened between us. In the course of an evening we’d gone from arguing to waking up in bed together, our entire relationship had changed. Just when I thought things couldn’t get any more complicated or weird between us, this happened – because I’m an idiot. On the nightstand beside me, our candle burned just as bright and beautiful as before, but I still didn’t even know what “we” were. Everything had happened so fast, and Caleb and I hadn’t had a real sit-down talk about what had happened since my return.
What does this mean? I wondered nervously. Are we back together?
Even though we'd clearly gotten over what happened when I left two years ago, it had obviously altered our relationship. I let out a sigh and rolled over in bed to look at him, unsure of when or if this would happen again. His eyes flickered toward me when he felt the sheets between us move, but he didn’t face me right away. He looked so content lying there beside me I was afraid to speak. I knew he was gorgeous before, but something about his dark hair being so delightfully tousled made his beauty even more prominent.
I’d never stayed the night with him before, not like this. It made me feel self-conscious, vulnerable to be that exposed and open to anyone – especially Caleb. I didn’t want to ruin things.
I cleared my throat and sat up, starting to get up, when he touched me on the arm. “Don’t leave,” he pleaded gently, a tiny, worried crease appearing between his eyebrows.
My heart fluttered at the simple request when I turned to face him and was met with a pair of vibrant blue eyes and a timid smile as his he reached for me in longing. I smiled at the notion he didn't want to be apart from me any more than I wanted to leave the warmth of his body and his bed.
“We need to get up and talk about this,” I told him seriously.
He groaned, wrapping his arms around my waist and pulling me back under the covers. “Ugh, no we don’t. You need to come back and spend the day in bed with me.”
I breathed out a dreamy sigh as he trailed kisses down my shoulder and held me close, as if I might suddenly disappear. His lips descended to my throat, and a moan of desire escaped before I could stop it. We could easily spend all day like this and never think about getting dressed, but that couldn’t happen until we clarified what ‘this’ was. I had things to do, places to be, and none of that had anything to do with this man who was insisting I return to him at once.
He cupped my cheek in his hand and leaned forward, kissing me firmly on the mouth without remorse. Caleb’s lips were on mine and suddenly he was the only thing in the world my body could detect or react to. Everything else disappeared when he touched me. Our tongues collided as he placed his hand at the back of my neck. Our lips moved together effortlessly, languidly and even after all this time, he still tasted like heaven to me.
I pulled away slowly and propped myself up against an elbow. He gazed back at me with nothing but love reflecting in his clear blue eyes. I bit my lip and smiled, resisting the temptation to fall back into bed with him again and managed to stand my ground. “That’s a tempting offer, but I need to know what’s happening here. Are we together?”
Caleb huffed in exasperation and threw a pillow before rolling away from me in a show of stubbornness. “If you’re going to insist on this conversation, then I’m going to need some coffee. Can I get you anything?”
As he climbed off the bed I admired the muscular contours of his back, made strong from long days of working in the sun, as he donned a pair of sleeping pants.
“Coffee would be wonderful,” I responded happily.
His mouth curved up into his crooked grin as he kissed me swiftly on the nose. I sat up on the bed and watched him leave, covering my nakedness with the remaining bedsheet, and caught sight of my dress on his bedroom floor. It had been ripped along the seam, rendering the zipper completely useless, and it was the only set of clothing I had with me after leaving the reception.
“Oh no, my dress!” I gasped in horror. “What am I going to wear?”
He glanced down at the heap of fabric and saw the mess I was referring to. “Huh, we must have gotten carried away. You can borrow some of mine.”
I grinned at his tongue-in-cheek assessment and blushed as he tossed me the t-shirt and pajamas I’d returned to him a week ago. “Really, these again?” I laughed, pulling the cotton t-shirt over my head and untucking my hair from around it’s collar. “I guess they’re my official sleepover clothes now, huh?”
“They are if you want them to be.”
He sat down on the bed next to me, still shirtless and making me want him with every fiber of my being. I wanted things between us to get back to the way they had been before, but I also wanted us to be more than that. Caleb leaned in closer, brushing his lips across mine softly before claiming them with his mouth. He brushed his tongue inside my lip, causing me to gasp, and then pulled away with a satisfied smile. When he got up to leave, I quickly scrambled off the bed and followed him out into the kitchen.
The coffee pot and supplies were all laid out on the counter when we got there. He went about getting the water started and pulled two mugs down from the pantry above. I wet my lips nervously and sat on one of the barstools. My heart caught deep inside my chest as I cleared my throat and said, “You know, I understand if this was a one-time thing. I don’t have any expectations.”
Even as I was saying it though, my head was crying, Please, don’t let that be the case.
“You’re asking me if this was casual?” he asked in surprise. “Wynn, nothing between you and me ever has been, or ever will be casual. That’s not us, it’s not possible.”
I chuckled, tucking the wavy red hair behind my ear. “I asked you if we were together and you didn’t respond,” I reminded him. “If this isn’t casual, but we’re not a couple either, then what are we?”
He let out a tired sigh and rested his hands against the counter top. “I don’t know.”
“Is that what you want?” I asked him hopefully. “Do you want to be with me?”
“Of course, it is.”
I swallowed hard. “But?”
“I don’t know, Wynn. It didn’t work last time, and you left before we had a chance to resolve anything. I want you, and I want to be with you, but it isn’t that simple and you know it. We shoul
d probably deal with some of our bigger issues before jumping in again.”
My heart fell slightly. “I think it’s a little late for that, don’t you? I lost eighteen months of my life living as Aidan’s puppet. He had power over me all that time, and I bent to his will out of fear of retaliation. I think he has controlled me for long enough. I will not give him another second and I am done letting him control me. I’m not going to let fear, or some other lame excuse, keep me from being with you again. This is me, this is us, and if you want to be with me, then please let that happen. Don’t over complicate things the way I did.”
“We have baggage though,” he argued.
I nodded in agreement. “Yeah, that’s kind of how it works! All relationships do, it’s the ones who are willing to put up with that who make it through to the other side. We’re a demon and an angel who fell in love with each other; by definition, that was going to be complicated. I am telling you now though, there’s no one else I’d rather go through hell for, and I have been to hell – it isn’t pretty.”
I’d never given a more passionate or heartfelt speech in all my life, but I didn’t regret it for a second. I needed him to know how much he meant to me and that I loved him more than anything. As the emotions came bubbling up inside me it brought a surge of adrenaline and my voice cracked slightly.
He gazed at me, awestruck, while I was speaking, then swiftly rounded the edge of the counter and took me in his arms to envelop me in another kiss. I smiled against his lips and breathed out a sigh of relief when I placed my hand against his cheek. Caleb wove his fingers deep into my hair, cradling my head between his hands as he pulled away and looked me in the eyes, “I love you.”
I smiled back at him, wearing nothing but the t-shirt he had given me. “I love you, too.”
The brush of his fingers tugged gently on the hem of the shirt I was wearing and slipped under to graze the contour of my hips. “You should wear my clothes more often,” he teased softly.
I smiled wider, leaning into his gentle touch as he brushed his fingertips against my thigh, raising goosebumps along my legs. They were still bare, but I was not ashamed. “Maybe I will.”
By now our coffee had finished brewing and we each fixed ours the way we liked it, sipping on it contentedly. “Do you know what this means?” I asked, propping my elbow on the counter so I could rest my chin against it. “Now that Charley and Ryan are safely on their honeymoon, I have to figure out how I’m going to use that stake on Aidan.”
He hummed into his drink and corrected me, “No, it means we are going to have to figure that out together.”
“Caleb, you know I can’t let you do that,” I told him, taking the mug in my hands and pulling up one of the barstools. “This is my fight and I don’t want you getting hurt because of me. I’ve already put too many people at risk because of my antics, I’m not going to do that anymore.”
“Of course, you can, because that’s what people do when they’re in a relationship; they figure things out together.”
“He’s going to sense your angelic aura a mile away; it’s safer if I go this one alone. I still feel like you don’t believe in me. I’ve come such a long way all by myself, I think I’ve proven I can handle it.”
“You have come a long way,” he agreed, setting his mug down as he leaned across the counter. “And no one is disputing that, but can you imagine how much farther you could have gotten if you’d allowed people to help you?”
My jaw fell open as I realized he was right – my refusal to let anyone put themselves in danger on my behalf was not only disrespecting their wishes, but hindering my ability to succeed. Aidan was the Lord of Pride, and I was falling subject to his own sin: arrogance. The only way to beat pride was with humility. It was time for me to accept my friends’ help.
Nathan had gone with me to the Garden, and I was sincerely grateful for that. Without him, I probably wouldn’t have been able to defeat the Cherubim. Charlene was the one who came and rescued me from Hell, a task I’d been unable, or unwilling, to do up until that point. As I looked back on all the successes in my life, they were all because of the people who loved and supported me.
I was so intent on being the lone wolf, but I’d been blind to their assistance and hadn’t given them the credit they deserved.
“Okay,” I agreed with him quietly, “together then. One thing I learned when I was down there, is that Hell is not a place – it’s a state of being. Without you … the loneliness I felt where no one understands, that’s what Hell was. The worst part was you not being there,” I told him sadly. “The idea of you, it’s what kept me sane. Knowing you were here for me to come back to. The only reason the devil hasn't taken me is because I belong to you. We create our own personal hells. God doesn’t need to punish us; we do such a good job of it ourselves. He withdraws the light and allows us to destroy ourselves. Hell makes you think you don’t have a choice, then makes you choose it. I’m choosing happiness now, I’m choosing you.”
Looking me squarely in the eyes, he clarified. “I mean it, Wynn. I don't want you back unless you're all in. You don't get to make those kinds of decisions by yourself, not when someone else is involved. It’s all or nothing.”
I smiled at him. “I am, Caleb. I’m all in. This is what I want. I love you. I love you so much, and I’m never going to shut you out again.”
He smiled slightly and breathed a sigh of relief as he took my hands in his and rubbed his thumb across my knuckles. “It’s nice to know that we are finally on the same page. Now, about that ring…”
My cheeks immediately flushed at the mention of it, and I had to look away out of fear that I might start crying. I could feel my heart pounding in my chest and I hoped he didn’t see the way my lips were quivering “Are you asking me?”
Caleb brushed the hair out of my face and smiled, shaking his head and whispering, “Not yet. I still have to get your dad’s permission.”
I almost laughed. “You’re kidding, right? He’d be ecstatic.”
Caleb brushed his lips across my mouth and smiled, before kneeling gingerly on one knee right there in the kitchen. Behind his blue eyes and tousled brown hair, I could see that, despite the romantic gesture, he was scared. He was allowing himself to become vulnerable again to my rejection. My heart actually skipped a beat when our eyes met and he gave a lopsided smile. Oh my God, is this really happening?
“Wynnona Elizabeth Hendricks, you are infuriating.”
My smile faded as I responded, “An awkward way to start, but okay…”
“You drive me crazy in every sense of the word, but I am completely in love with you. You’re my best friend and the love of my life, I want to spend the rest of my life with you beside me. I know that it won’t be easy, but I am willing to take that leap if you are. Will you marry me?”
Tears threatened to spill over at any minute and I blurted out, “Shut up and kiss me!”
He didn’t need to be told twice.
After slipping the ring onto my finger, he smiled and kissed me passionately on the mouth. My head was spinning at the whirlwind of events that had changed everything in the last twenty-four hours. Two days ago, I thought he would never forgive me, and now we were engaged. We were both crying when he pulled away to catch his breath and I looked down at the ring in awe. It looked completely out of place on my uncharacteristically, polished finger and I thought to myself, Thank goodness for that manicure.
“Caleb, it’s perfect.”
“You’re perfect,” he argued softly.
I released the glamor on my face, pulling back to expose the scales and dragon hide. The ripple of magic spread out across my limbs until the weight of my wings became obvious. My demon form with fiery hair and bat-like wings stood before him. I wanted him to really look at me and see what he was agreeing to. “Are you sure about this?” I asked him nervously. “This is me, the real me. I can’t change that.”
He smiled gently, and placed his hand against my cheek. “Why would
you think that would change my mind? It doesn’t scare me. I know what you are, but it isn’t who you are. I love you.”
I looked up at him and said, “I swear to God, Caleb. One day I’ll deserve you.”
He laughed, still holding me close and I looked up at him, knowing he was my future husband. I’d seen that vision of our future together, but thought those dreams were lost. Now it seemed like I was being given a second chance.
My phone rang suddenly from his bedroom and I went to answer it. Dad’s name blinked across the caller ID as I switched it on and accepted the call. “Hello?”
“Hey, Wynn! We lost you at the reception last night and then you didn’t come home. Is everything okay?” His voice was slightly panicked and I felt bad for worrying him. Caleb and I left the reception so abruptly, there hadn’t been time to explain.
I glanced back at Caleb and told him, “Yeah, everything is fine.”
“Oh good,” he breathed out in a sigh of relief. “Where are you?”
I blushed, not sure whether I should tell him the truth or not. “I’m, uh … with Caleb. We were having breakfast.”
There was a pause on the other end and I was worried he may have actually had an aneurysm realizing that I’d spent the night here too. He surprised me though when he responded, “Well, I’m glad to know you’re safe. Take your time and I’ll see you back at the house whenever you’re ready.”
He must have been terribly uncomfortable, but never once let on. I was just grateful he didn’t ask any more questions that would have made the conversation worse. He respected my privacy, and that I was an adult; all that mattered to him now was that I was safe. I loved him for that.
“Thanks, Dad.”
Down in Flames (The Earthwalker Trilogy Book 3) Page 20
