“Mommy? Why isn’t Mr. Hawk with us?”
“Well, Mr. Hawk had some stuff he had to do for work, and I thought it would be nice for us to get away for a bit.”
“Did you guys fight or something?” she asked.
“No, sweetheart. We didn’t fight. But Mr. Hawk works long hours for the next few days, and I thought you and I could spend some time together while he worked and slept. Once he’s done with his odd work hours, we’re gonna go back and play some more. All right?”
“Promise?” she asked.
I looked into my daughter’s green eyes and saw her father swimming in all of her features. The hope that had dawned on her face forced me to choke back my tears. She wanted Hawk more than she was letting on. I knew she felt a pull to him like I did. A pull she didn’t quite understand. I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her into me just so I wouldn’t have to stare into her father’s eyes she’d so deeply inherited.
Then, I drew in a deep breath before I answered her question the way I hoped things would pan out.
“I promise, sweetheart. With all my soul.”
I kissed the top of her head, and she ran to jump on the bed. She started jumping up and down, giggling as her auburn hair flew around her body. I put our suitcases in the corner and took out my phone, the battery falling to the floor as I threw all the parts of it onto the table. I knew enough to know that I had to take out the battery in order to render it useless, and I knew enough about running from something to know that I hadn’t been followed. This time I had made sure of it.
We got dressed, and I took Emery swimming in the hotel pool. She jumped into the deep end and swam around, giggling with all her might as I sank deep into the hot tub. I closed my eyes, sighing as I finally felt my body relax. I thought about ordering us pizza for dinner. Just having a total junk food day while the two of us curled up on the massive king-sized bed and watched television until we fell asleep.
For a moment, I attempted to convince myself that everything was all right. That if I could lay low in this hotel, living off my savings until things died down, that Emery and I might be able to go back. That I could apologize to Hawk, or maybe get down on my knees and grovel. That I could set us up in the same city as Hawk and we could both tell her that the man she’d grown to love was her father.
I smiled at the idea of her having a relationship with him. A wonderful relationship as Hawk watched her grow into the beautiful young woman I saw emerging slowly from her body every single day.
My thoughts were interrupted as another woman entered the hot tub. I nodded towards her, secretly hoping she wouldn’t sit next to me. But of course, she was one of those women that was probably looking to socialize, and she sat down right next to me and sighed.
“That your little one jumping around in the pool?” she asked.
“Yep,” I said.
“She looks happy.”
“She is,” I said.
If there was one thing I learned from the motorcycle lifestyle, it was to trust no one until you had a reason to. I knew this woman was probably harmless, but with us being on the run from one of the more ruthless government agencies, I couldn’t take any chances.
And my instincts were proven right when she opened her mouth to speak again.
“Then let’s not startle her, shall we?”
I slowly panned my gaze over to the woman as her face slowly came into view. I studied her haircut. The way she held her shoulders back. The muscles that weren’t always so common on women of her stature. I saw something lift out of the water as a black billfold came into view, and the moment I saw her credentials, I froze.
She was DEA.
“Agent Mahoney, DEA. I’ve got a few questions I’m sure you don’t want your daughter to hear,” she said.
“Mommy! Mommy! Watch me jump!”
“All right, sweetie,” I said as I ripped my gaze from the woman. “I’m watching!”
My daughter splashed into the pool with a massive cannonball, gigging as she came up to the surface. For a moment, I allowed myself to feel Emery’s joy before I turned my gaze back to the woman beside me.
The woman that had ambushed me.
I was petrified. I didn’t want to be questioned. I didn’t want to rat out the motorcycle club that had taken me in when I started missing the lifestyle. I didn’t want to be the snitch the Iron Souls came looking for after this was all said and done. The DEA was physically ripping that club to shreds and making it a public spectacle, and I knew they wouldn’t hesitate to haul me off in handcuffs right in front of my daughter.
But that meant if she was here, then she wasn’t back with Hawk.
Which was what I’d wanted the moment I sped out of his driveway.
“Mommy? Are you okay?”
“Everything's all right, sweetheart. You just play, all right? Play really hard, and then we’re gonna go order some pizza.”
“I wouldn’t be too sure of that,” the agent said.
“I’d choose your next words very carefully,” I said.
“Is that a threat?”
“When it comes to my daughter, yes.”
I stared the agent down as I looked deep into her dark brown eyes. A small smirk crawled across her face as my daughter stared at us. I could see the fear in Emery’s eyes, even out of the corner of my own. Any person that came into our lives that made my daughter fearful was automatically the enemy. If she made a move towards her-- if she tried to harm my daughter in any way-- I’d be on the run for murder instead of being a running witness to some crimes.
“Let me start by saying we can’t prove anything yet,” the agent said.
“I’m sure.”
“But we know you’re connected to the Iron Souls. We know you’ve got the information we need, we just don’t have the evidence, yet. Which means we can’t subpoena you or drag you in for questioning. You did a very good job of staying away from the cameras, you know.”
I had no idea what the fuck she was talking about, but I kept my hardened stare on her as Emery slowly climbed back into the pool.
“Mommy? You gonna come swim with me soon?” she asked.
“In a minute, I promise,” I said.
“I wouldn’t make a promise you can’t keep,” the agent said.
“Trust me. I’ll be able to,” I said.
“We have footage of you riding with them. Tracing their routes. Joyriding in the middle of the night when you should’ve been at home taking care of your daughter.”
“My mother loved that time in the evenings with Emery. Don’t you dare attempt to paint me as a bad mom.”
“I wonder what the father of your child would think,” she said. “Knowing you just… left her to ride with another group. That you left your family just so you could have a little taste of freedom.”
I clenched my fists underneath the bubbling water as I heard Emery giggling in the pool again.
“Like I said, we can’t prove anything. We’ve got you riding with them, but we can’t prove you knew what those routes were. But once we can…”
I watched her slowly get out of the hot tub as Emery’s eyes were on her. I looked over at my daughter, and I could see the panic on her face. Tears fell from my eyes as I realized the type of lifestyle I’d subjected her to. Because of my selfish decisions and my inability to fully separate myself from the motorcycle realm, my daughter was paying for it.
At fucking six years old.
“Talk with you soon, Syd.”
My skin prickled at the nickname. She was cocky, and that was her downfall. She’d revealed too much, and I had a better picture of what was going on. I stayed put, eyeing Emery as my daughter watched the strange woman leave the pool area. The moment the door closed behind the agent, my daughter scurried over to the hot tub. She got in, hissing with the heat before she threw herself into my arms. I gathered her up and held her close, kissing away her tears of worry and fear as I told her about all the food we would eat and all the movies we wou
ld watch tonight.
But I had to call Hawk.
We had to have a serious conversation.
After I settled Emery and got her to bed first.
Chapter 13
Hawk
I saw a number pop up on my phone I didn’t recognize. I was sitting on the couch, enveloped in Emery’s delicate smell. Church was over, and a plan had been formulated, and now the situation was out of my hands. I was trying to figure out what to do. Trying to find a way to get Emery and Sydney back into my arms. I’d only known the little girl for a few days, and already my heart ached for my…
My little girl.
“Hello?” I asked as I answered the phone call.
“Hawk? It’s me.”
“Syd? Where are you? I’m coming to you right now.”
“We’re uh…”
I grabbed the change of clothes I kept stashed in the closet downstairs as I ran out the front door. I locked it, leaving the lights on so it looked like someone was home. I closed the garage door and stuffed the clothes into the back of my bike and threw my leg over it before I heard Sydney’s voice again.
“The DEA found me,” she said. “It’s not safe for you to come.”
“Where are you, Syd? Is Emery all right?”
“We’re in a hotel. In Monterey, California.”
“Alright. You’re about six hours away from me. What hotel are you staying in there?” I asked.
“Hawk, it’s not safe,” she said.
“Syd. What happened when the agent found you?”
“She… she, uh… um…”
I could tell she was panicking and I wasn’t there to hold her. I just knew her little hands were shaking. Her delicate hands that had seen so much blood spilled onto them. I could hear Emery in the background lightly snoring, and I knew-- at least for now-- that she was all right.
“Sydney. Peel yourself from Emery, go sit in the bathroom, and take some deep breaths.”
I switched the call to the bluetooth set in my helmet as I cranked up my bike. I got on the road, merging onto the highway at top speeds as I tried to make up as much time as I could. If I stopped once for gas and nothing else, I could get there around three in the morning.
Which meant I could hold Syd for the rest of the night if I had to.
“Okay,” she said breathlessly. “I’m here.”
“I’m on the highway now. With one stop, I’ll be there around three in the morning.”
“Hawk you can’t-”
“Damn it, Syd, where are you!?”
“The Monterey Inn! The one that… that sits right off the main road as you come into town.”
“I know where that is. I’m headed for you now. What did the DEA agent say to you?”
“She… she said that they didn’t have enough evidence on me.”
“That’s a good thing. Means they can’t legally get you into court or nail you with anything,” I said.
“She said they’ve got footage of me joyriding up the Iron Souls trade routes, but that they had no solid evidence that I knew what I was riding.”
“Did you know? Wait, don’t answer that. Did they threaten Emery?” I asked.
“Not… exactly,” she said.
“Tell me what they said. Stop making me pry it from you.”
“She called me a bad mother.”
I could hear Syd’s sobs as I kicked up the speed on my bike. My blood was boiling, and my heart was hammering. What kind of fucking agent would do that to someone?
“Emery was swimming in the pool and-... and I was in the hot tub. She got in with me and told me not to kick up a fuss because she knew I didn’t want Emery to see. She-... she said she’d tell you what a bad mother I was for leaving Emery with my mom at home during the evenings so I could go… go-”
“Go what, Syd?” I asked.
“Joyriding,” she said, sobbing.
“Syd, that doesn’t make you a bad mother. Was Emery taken care of?”
“I pumped breastmilk and left it in the-... the fridge in bottles for Mom,” she said.
“Was Emery safe?”
“Mom knew… knew self-defense… a-a-and she kept a gun in the house. Locked away safe and out of reach, I swear, Hawk. I swear she was safe. I just… Emery was a colicky baby, and she would just scream and cry for hours, and I felt like I was going crazy and my hair was falling out-”
“Ssshhh sh sh sh sh. Sweetheart. You are nowhere in the realm of a bad mother, all right? That agent was trying to intimidate you. Get you to cave so you would talk. She knows who I am?”
“Worse. I think the DEA is listening in on our conversations somewhere.”
That statement made me freeze.
“Did they mention my name specifically?” I asked.
“No, she just said that I would hate it if the father of my child knew what a bad mother I was. They said they couldn’t tie me to anything, but once they could, they were coming for me. But as she was walking away, she called me ‘Syd.'”
“Did anyone in the Iron Souls call you that? Did your mother call you that?”
“Mom hated that name. Said it made me sound like a guy. And the Iron Souls didn’t even call me by my name. I was the newest outsider that came in, so they called me ‘Red’ because of my hair color. You can’t come here, Hawk. She knows that nickname because it’s what you call me, and that means-”
“It’s all right. Look, we’re handling everything on our end. Everything’s gonna be all right. I’m coming for you, and then I’m gonna get you and Emery somewhere safe. Somewhere with people I trust, okay? I can’t talk about it more because with what you’ve just told me I don’t know where they’re getting their information.”
“Oh-... okay,” she said.
“I want you to hang tight. Watch some television. Try to get some sleep. When I’m at the hotel, I’ll call you, okay?”
“Hawk?” she asked.
“Yeah?”
“I’m so fucking sorry.”
I could hear the hurt in her voice. The years of guilt she spent agonizing over while she tried to do the right thing by the circumstances that had been thrust upon her. I heard the tears, all the years of building up walls to try and be strong. I heard it all crumbling down within those four words, and I wanted with all my might to reach through the phone and hold her close to my body.
But I was still five and a half hours from doing that.
“Stay safe. I’m five hours out,” I said.
“Okay.”
I hung up the call and cranked up the speed as I rode the highway all the way into California. I stopped once for gas, looking around to see if anyone was following me. By the time I pulled up into the hotel, it was around two-thirty, and I called Sydney’s phone to see if she would pick up.
And the phone clicked before the first ring was over.
“Are you here?”
“What room are you in?” I asked.
“301,” she said.
I circled around and found her van hiding out in the shadows. I parked my bike beside hers and rushed inside, heading straight for the elevator as I took it up to the third floor. My hands shook with anxious nerves, wanting nothing more than to hold my two girls close and keep them safe. If I ever came across the fucking DEA agent that thought she could make Syd feel like a bad mother, I’d bash her fucking skull in with my own damn fist.
I didn’t even knock on the door before it flew open.
“Mr. Hawk!”
A flurry of auburn hair clung to my leg as I dipped down and lifted Emery into my arms. I buried my face into her face, swallowing back my own tears of joy as I walked her back into the hotel room. Sydney was holding the door open for us, watching as I sniffed the scent of my daughter in deep. The television was going lowly in the background, and I smelled coffee percolating in the small pot above the microwave.
The bags already forming underneath Syd’s eyes gave away just how worried she had been for the past few hours.
“Come here,” I s
aid.
I wrapped my arm around her and held my two girls close. My heart was surging in my chest as the blood rushed through my ears. There was only one place I could take them where I knew they would be safe. One person whose blood was icier than mine when it came to protected their own. She was the sweetest woman I’d ever known until you messed with her family, then the accuracy of the guns she shot, the blades she threw, and the punches she landed would take you to the ground and leave you there bleeding.
And that woman was my mother.
“I have a plan, okay?” I asked. “Here’s what we’re gonna do. We’re gonna all climb into bed and get some rest. We’re gonna have fun at the hotel tomorrow, then once night falls, we’re gonna head to my mothers.”
“Your… your mom’s. No, no, no. She’s gotta hate me, right?” Syd asked.
“Not when she sees this precious girl I’m holding, she won’t,” I said as I kissed the top of her head.
“You’ll be safe there until we can figure out our next move,” I said.
And we did just that. I held both of my girls at my side. Sydney snuggled underneath the crook of my neck while Emery’s head laid gently on my chest. Never in my life did I think I could love two people the way I loved Sydney and Emery, but the more I looked down upon their sleeping features, the bigger my heart grew with love for them.
We spent the day eating snacks, swimming in the pool, and sleeping in the massive bed until nightfall happened. We gathered up their things and snuck out the back door, not bothering to check out. If the DEA was keeping an eye on her expenses, it would look like she was still at the hotel. If they didn’t come poking around again, that would give us a few days to get ahead of them before they realized Syd wasn’t at the hotel anymore.
Which meant I could get them safe.
“All right, I want you guys to follow me. We’re taking back roads all the way there, so even if it looks sketchy, just keep behind me.”
“I can do that,” Syd said.
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