“You…you raped her?” I asked, my breath again coming out in pants.
When I tried to dislodge him from my body and get up to my knees, he stopped me.
“There’s a reason I have you like this,” he growled, removing his fingers and flipping me to my stomach.
I rolled, breathlessly, and gasped when he straddled my hips, sitting down on me to keep me in place.
“Listen to it all before you go half-cocked,” he ordered.
I snapped my mouth shut and glared.
“I didn’t have a choice. It was either I do that, or the entire fucking club raped her. I didn’t have a choice!” He yelled. “And I didn’t rape her, I seduced her. And then fell in love with her while I was at it. She had no clue why she was there. She thought she was there for a fucking party.”
I didn’t say anything.
Maybe he didn’t have a choice, but it was still wrong.
“That’s the day Sam was conceived. I kept Leslie separate from the club. Fell so head over heels in love with her that I could barely breathe. However, the club didn’t do monogamy, and I wasn’t expected to either. Not wanting them to hurt my ‘citizen wife’, as they called her, I found Lettie, Sebastian and Shiloh’s mother. I had an ‘ol lady,’ that was aware of what went down in the club to an extent, and then I had Leslie, my real wife in the eyes of God and the government.”
“Why are you telling me this?” I gasped, tears starting to leak down my cheeks.
“Because you need to understand,” he said, bending down to press his lips against my face. “Because I think I’m falling for you when I promised myself I’d never do this ever again. Because it hurts too fucking bad.”
My heart started to flutter, and I couldn’t resist kissing him back.
But I couldn’t help feeling it was wrong, what he’d done.
That it was wrong of me to want to be with him.
“I stayed in the CIA. They felt it was imperative for me to stay in the club, so I did that too. It was my assignment, my job, not a choice. Made a name for myself, but also kept the CIA informed on what I was hearing. By the time Sam was three, I’d made so many enemies, it wasn’t safe for me to leave The Company or the club, which was well on the road to becoming completely legal. The club became my home. But Shovel…Shovel was a thorn in my side from the very beginning, and he made it a point, on a daily basis, to watch me. Study me.”
I nodded, waiting for him to continue.
“He didn’t like how fast I rose within the club. Hated that he no longer made the money that he used to make before I came along. Blamed me for everything that’d changed since I’d arrived,” he said. “Which was true. I’d changed the club, made it mine. Changed every single thing about it that was illegal, and made it a place that I was proud of.”
I blinked, stunned.
He’d done that all at such a young age.
“My kids continued to be in danger, though. Years, I had to deal with Shovel’s shit. He just wouldn’t leave it alone. Then he hurt my boy, knocked him down with a right hook to the face. Which I didn’t take kindly to, especially when Sam’s face split open like an orange on Shovel’s bike spokes. After beating the absolute shit out of him, he continued to dig at me. Just kept picking and picking and picking until I had no other choice but to get rid of him,” Silas said roughly.
His eyes met mine, and I knew what he’d had to do had hurt him.
“I was done following orders that were sent from The Agency at that point. It felt like I’d given my whole life to them and got nothing but heartache in return. So I retired from the CIA and started living my life as the club’s president. Those men were mine, and I’d do with them what I damn well pleased. The club was very important to me, but my kids, my family were more so. Shovel was the last boy left from the old club days who wanted everything to go back to the way it was. We weren’t making the same money we had been, but it also wasn’t anything to sneeze at either. He was pissed at everything I represented. It was the worst mistake of his life, taking his anger for me out on Sam. So I made a call. The last one.”
I rubbed my hands up and down his thighs, urging him to continue without saying a word.
“The CIA put together a plan that would tie him up in a huge bust. They wanted the information he had, though, so he wasn’t to be killed. And he wasn’t. He went down for life. I checked up on him every week since he was put away, but the week you arrived, he was released on bail without my knowledge. And I know he’s here. He wants revenge against me and what I took from him,” he grumbled, looking at his hands.
“What about your kids…your ex-wife…ex-girlfriend. Will he try to hurt them?” I asked softly.
It burned to think about him protecting them, to have his attention on another woman, but I couldn’t live with myself if I didn’t bring it up and something were to happen to them.
“I’ve got a few men working on it. They have teams on them, but it’s not them he wants. He wants me. And he won’t settle for anything less,” he said, his hands smoothing up and down my bare back.
“Shovel…he’s nasty. He knows your hopes…your fears. He knows how to get into your head. He can see what will scare you the most. For me…all those years ago…it was my kids. Kids that I hadn’t realized he even knew how much I cared about since I’d taken such great pains to ignore and alienate from my life,” Silas rumbled.
“So maybe he knows more than he did all those years ago, and maybe you should really start watching your kids…letting them know what’s going on,” I offered.
He closed his eyes. “Yeah, I need to do that. The boys are smart fuckers. They’ll see the security detail after a while.”
“You need to call them tomorrow, tell them what’s going on. They need to know,” I urged once again.
He smiled down at me sadly, and my heart started to hurt.
“They’ll just hate me more,” he said.
I looked into his eyes, and pulled him down by my hand wrapped around his neck.
“But they won’t be dead, and from what you just told me, you can’t really do much more harm,” I whispered. “And besides you’ll have me.”
“Do I?” He asked, rolling me over to my back.
I blinked. “Do you what?”
“Have you?”
I nodded. “I’m still here, aren’t I?”
He smiled sadly.
“Only because I wouldn’t let you go,” he countered.
I kissed his lips softly. “Well, I’m not yelling or screaming. That’s gotta count for something.”
“You could just be buying time. Waiting until I fall asleep to make your exit,” he said.
My hands went down to his cock that was laying against my belly, and even flaccid, it was a force to be reckoned with.
It grew in my hands as I slowly stroked him up and down.
“Yeah,” I said. “But I like you too much to leave. Just know that if you ever get into a circumstance where you have to do anything similar to that to me, I’ll tear down heaven and earth to have you at my side. I won’t tolerate cheating under any circumstance, even if it’s supposedly to protect me. Understand?”
He smiled, a brilliant one that made my heart throb in my chest.
“Yeah, I gotcha.”
“Good.”
“Good,” he whispered against my lips.
Then he was sliding those three fingers back inside of me, and I forgot to ask him the lingering questions about my mother and their relationship that were still floating around my head.
Guess I’d ask him tomorrow.
Chapter 13
Bikers don’t go gray. They turn chrome.
- Biker Patch
Silas
“Thanks, man. I appreciate it,” I said to the warden of the Huntsville Penitentiary. I wanted to get some information over the phone before I made arrangements to visit the prison.
“You’re welcome. I’ll get her in here in about ten mi
nutes,” Warden Walker said. “She’s got to come over from the women’s side, which works well because this is where we hold the parole hearings. You worked a miracle getting her out of there when you did. She’s going to be ecstatic.”
Warden Walker and I went way back.
He’d been the Warden for the Huntsville State Penitentiary since he was a young man of thirty years old. And now at age sixty, I knew him about as well as I knew most men.
He was my informant on the comings and goings of a few men I’d locked up during my time with the CIA.
“Hello?” A timid woman’s voice answered a few moments later.
“Ruthann Comalsky?” I asked, confirming I had the right person.
She hesitated.
“My name’s Silas Mackenzie. I’m seeing Sawyer Berry,” I said, hoping it would get the intended effect.
“You’re kidding me,” she breathed. “Is she okay?”
I smiled at the true compassion and worry in Ruthann’s voice.
The genuine longing to know how her friend was doing.
I’d looked into Ruthann, too.
I knew she was also inside for something stupid that didn’t warrant hard time.
It was good that she and Sawyer had been paired together.
Both of them were truly decent people, and it was a good thing to have someone you could trust at your back in there.
Ruthann had been shafted just like Sawyer had, and I was seeing to it that she got out now.
Sawyer could use the shoulder to lean on in her life.
“She’s good, very good,” I said. “But she’s been having dreams…ones that concern me. And I want to know some names.”
I could tell I’d surprised her.
“Are you a cop?” She asked softly.
“Yeah, kind of,” I answered evasively.
She didn’t need to know what exactly I was. She only needed to know that I was getting her out, and that I wanted the names of the men that had made Sawyer suffer for eight years.
I, of course, could guess.
But it would be easier for Ruthann to tell me.
“Does she know what you’re doing?” She asked softly.
I smiled.
“No.”
“Good.”
My smile grew wider.
“Names?”
“Donner, Bryant, Holloway and Jones. Those were the four that were her main torturers,” she whispered.
“Thanks, darlin,’” I said. “I’ll see you soon.”
“What?”
I didn’t answer.
Instead, I hung up and started out of my office, heading towards the main room of the clubhouse.
I wasn’t surprised to find a few of my men
“Come for a ride with me, I need some help…and a witness,” I ordered the two men at my side.
Kettle and Torren looked up, surprised.
I’d just entered the clubhouse, and I was fucking pissed.
And surprisingly not about Shovel, but about two other people.
“Where are we going?” They asked as they followed me outside without a question.
“Huntsville, Texas,” I answered.
“What?” Kettle asked.
“Why?” Torren asked.
Torren was a good man, as was Kettle, but I had a feeling if I told them they wouldn’t be as calm as I needed them to be when we got there.
Having four hours to stew about something wasn’t a good thing, and in this situation it would be a really, really bad thing.
I was afraid if I didn’t have someone along, I wouldn’t be able to prevent myself from doing something I’d regret later.
And I was really worked up.
After letting go of everything I had on my chest to Sawyer last night, she’d fallen asleep in my arms.
And it had been perfect.
Absolutely and utterly perfect.
I’d not had a night where I’d slept the entire night through for ages, but last night, I did.
Sawyer was quickly becoming a very important piece of my life, and I was really contemplating bringing us into the light.
Especially after how she’d reacted to her mother bringing me lunch two days before.
Sawyer wasn’t stupid, that much I knew.
She knew there’d been something between us, she just didn’t know what.
And although it’d only been mostly innocent, two lonely people spending time with each other mostly because of proximity and convenience, I knew it wouldn’t be a small matter to Sawyer.
It’d be huge.
And I needed to talk to her about that.
I’d intended to talk to her about it this morning.
But then Sawyer had cried out in her sleep, startling me out of my contentedness so dramatically that I’d jackknifed right up in bed.
Then she’d started moaning about some guard named Officer Donner, and I knew that I had to take care of this for her.
Not just for her, though, but for me, too.
Something inside me didn’t sit right, knowing that she was abused in that jail.
And I’d learned all that I needed to know from her former cell mate, Ruthann Comalsky, as of twenty minutes ago.
***
“What are we doing here?” Torren asked as he took in the prison.
I got off my bike.
“I’ve been seeing someone,” I said, hoping they wouldn’t get into who just yet.
But, of course, it was Torren who was the ever so curious one.
“Who?” He asked quickly, a smile tugging at the corner of his lips.
Rolling my eyes, I didn’t answer.
It wouldn’t be long before they figured it out anyway, I just didn’t want to be available for questioning when they did.
Because I knew they would offer their opinions, whether good or bad.
And right now I was already pissed, I didn’t want to have to defend my choices to them, getting more upset in the process.
When I didn’t answer, they went on to the next question.
“If you won’t answer that, then how about you tell us what we’re doing here,” Torren asked.
Sadly, I couldn’t answer that, either, without telling them.
So I just sucked it up and said, “Sawyer Berry was sexually assaulted for eight years while she was here. I want to speak to a few of the guards.”
They both blinked.
“So she wasn’t just a passing fuck for you?” Torren asked carefully.
I nodded. “No, she most certainly is not.”
“She’s the one?” Torren asked.
I shrugged, this time not answering with a yes or a no.
They must’ve realized that it was a sensitive subject right then, and they let it go.
“Well then, by all means, let’s go talk to the fuckers,” Torren said.
I smiled.
That was the good thing about having a club at your back.
They were a band of my brothers, and no age gap between us would change that.
They knew me just like I knew them.
And they realized that if I was protecting Sawyer, treating her like my own, then they’d treat her like family as well.
They’d protect her just as I would.
“Right on, brother,” Kettle agreed, propping his helmet on his handlebars.
I followed suit and made my way to the front doors, where Walker was waiting for us with the door open.
“You made good time,” Walker observed.
I nodded. “Roads were clear.”
He raised his chin at Kettle and Torren, waving us in to follow behind him.
“Warden?” A male guard raised his brow, gesturing to us.
Walker shook him off. “No, they’re feds.”
Well…not technically.
The guard nodded and went back to his post at the front door, eyes scanning the wall of computers in front of h
im.
“I’ve got to say,” Walker said as we walked down a narrow hallway. “When you called I was surprised to hear from you. Haven’t seen, nor heard, from you in over five years.”
No, he hadn’t.
I tried not to wear out my welcome lest he think I’m only there because I want or need something.
Which I guess was technically true, I just didn’t want to burn a bridge that I might need in the future.
“My girl, she just got out of the Women’s side, and I’ve heard some disturbing things about what’s happening over there. Not from her directly, but from outside sources,” I explained. “I just wanted to look through your surveillance tapes, confirm my suspicions before I go about explaining any further.”
Walker nodded. “Well, I looked at the dates you requested myself during the four hours you took to get here, and let’s just say that I’m not at all happy with what I saw.”
My brows lowered as he came to a stop at a security panel.
I watched as he punched in number after number before opening the door.
I, of course, memorized the number instantly.
I had a photographic memory, and it came in very handy at times like this.
“It’s not what I saw, per se, but what I didn’t see,” he muttered, making sure the door was closed behind the four of us.
My brows furrowed. “And what didn’t you see?” I asked impatiently, tired of hearing him hedge and haw over what he needed to say.
“Nothing. The camera feeds had something over them from the time of seven in the evening until eight in the evening. And you can’t see who did it either, because of the angles,” he answered, looking up at me now just as we made it to another door.
This one was made up of only steel bars and required an actual key from Walker’s pocket to open it.
I couldn’t help but see how easy it’d be to overpower the warden.
Although I counted him as a friend, I felt a little more than annoyed that he wasn’t taking more care to protect himself.
Me or my boys could’ve gotten the key off of him in thirty seconds flat with no one being the wiser.
“So you’re saying that you didn’t notice that the cameras went off at nearly the same time every night?” I confirmed.
He shook his head. “No. Not every night. More like every three days,” he corrected.
Counter To My Intelligence (The Heroes of The Dixie Wardens MC Book 7) Page 14
