Which was starting to tick her off.
She was restless. She craved so much more than the touches and kisses she stole. She imagined all kinds of things with the couches in the rec room, the showers in the locker rooms and even the pool table. She could hardly walk into the center without getting hot and bothered.
Which was sordid. It was a youth center focused on inspiring at-risk kids and bettering the world, for heaven’s sake. How could she be constantly turned on while inside?
The answer was that, while the kissing was amazing, seeing Ben serving the needs of the people who showed up took her to a whole new level of awareness and it made her physical cravings for him all the stronger.
It was arousing—no, interesting, she meant interesting—to watch him with the people at the center. She’d seen him in the ER almost daily for six months. But there he was giving orders, working quickly and efficiently, making decisions as he went along.
At the center he was talking to the people, sometimes for an hour at a time. He listened to their stories, told a few of his own—not to mention a series of really bad knock-knock jokes—and accepted plates of cookies and cakes that were brought in appreciation. He took his time now and, if she wasn’t mistaken, was enjoying himself. Too bad sitting around the center and goofing off all day didn’t pay very well…or at all.
Not that he seemed to mind. He didn’t say one word about the hospital and whenever she so much as mentioned the name of a co-worker he made an excuse and left the room.
She didn’t like that he seemed so comfortable, and even happy, with their routine. Sure, she loved having him there, but he was supposed to be getting bored, or restless, or at least horny. He couldn’t be simply enjoying himself at the center. That didn’t make sense.
Which was why she avoided returning Russ’s two phone calls. She knew she couldn’t put him off forever, but she had nothing to report except that Ben showed no signs of wanting to return to work and she did not want to admit that her plan was backfiring. His interactions with the patients at the center didn’t seem to be inciting any kind of desire to return to the ER and she couldn’t even entice him out of his clothes for sex—how could she persuade him to take the jeans off and put his scrubs back on?
Finally, on Tuesday, she answered a call even though the display showed it was an ER number. She almost wilted in relief when it was a fellow nurse asking her to fill in for someone who was ill. They were desperate and she couldn’t say no. She was surprised, though, how disappointed she was about it. The shift would completely disrupt their schedule at the center and she would likely not see Ben at all until tomorrow evening.
It was only polite to find him and tell him about the change of plans, she figured as she drove toward Dolly’s coffee shop.
Jessica pulled up in front of Cup O’ Joe and tried not to hate the little shop. Nothing that was going on with Ben was Dolly’s fault or the fault of the patrons who were making the coffee shop successful enough to provide Ben a job. It certainly wasn’t the fault of the coffee bean growers in…well, everywhere coffee beans grew, but Jessica found herself even annoyed with them on some level.
No, it wasn’t exactly any of their faults, but she still wasn’t going to buy anything. She loved white chocolate mochas but she couldn’t get past the idea that her four twenty-five would essentially end up in Ben’s pocket and allow him to keep paying his bills in spite of not working at the hospital.
A ding dong sounded as she stepped into the shop, evidently past the sensor that triggered the door chime sound. The bright, mid-morning sunlight splashed the old wooden floors, turning them to a warm honey color. The mouth-watering aroma of rich, freshly ground coffee beans and still-warm cookies and muffins floated through the air, enticing a deep breath and the hint of a smile from her in spite of herself.
She really wanted a huge paper cup foaming with white chocolate mocha with a brown cardboard ring around it to protect her hands from the heat. She wouldn’t order one. But being principled sucked sometimes.
The sounds of milk steamers, blenders, metal spoons clacking against ceramic cups and conversation mixed with the soft sound of Harry Connick Jr. over the stereo system. Jessica squelched the thought that with a good book she could happily spend the day here.
She headed for the back coffee counter, her flat leather sandals thumping pleasantly against the wood floor. She shouldn’t have taken the time and effort to dress up to come see Ben. It shouldn’t matter that she’d been scrubbing her tub when the hospital had called to see if she could come in to cover. She should have come down here in the sweatpants she’d cut off to mid-calf length and the ponytail she’d put on top of her head after rolling out of bed. But no, she had to take the time to shower, do her hair and dress in a red and white checked sleeveless shirt that tied above the waistband of the white Capri pants she wore. She was planning to spend a total of five minutes with Ben—just long enough to tell him she had to work tonight and wouldn’t be at the center—and she’d spent twenty times that amount of time trying to look good.
Her skin tingled before she caught sight of Ben, like her body was aware of him before her conscious mind recognized him. Seemingly as in sync with her, Ben found her over the heads of the four twenty-something girls he was helping at the counter as she stopped to one side, watching him. The smile and wink he gave her made her want to climb over the wooden counter, wrap herself around him and pull him down onto the floor amidst the coffee grounds, splashes of milk and sprinkles of nutmeg.
Jessica was close enough now to overhear the conversation he was having with the girls. They were asking him to describe nearly every item on the menu, which he was doing with patience, humor and a smile that made Jessica immediately decide that the girls were asking endless, silly questions in an effort to simply prolong their chance to flirt with the good-looking new guy.
“The redhead has come in every day since he started. She’s annoyingly cute and perky but every time she brings new friends with her and spends at least twenty bucks, so I can’t be too put out.”
Jessica turned to find Dolly behind the counter across from where Jessica stood. She was wiping her hands on a butter yellow dishtowel that matched the apron she wore over a simple white sundress. She grinned at Jessica. “Now don’t you go over there and let on that he’s yours. That girl is good for business and if she finds out Ben’s taken she might go back to drinkin’ Diet Coke at the Student Union.”
Jessica smiled but she had to suppress the urge to shift uncomfortably at the negative thoughts she’d been having about Dolly and her shop. They were both very nice. And why shouldn’t Dolly take advantage of Ben wanting to work for her? He was smart, fun to have around, trustworthy and obviously good for business.
Dolly propped her hip against the counter and crossed her arms, watching Ben. “I wish he’d take me up on the partnership offer.”
Jessica looked at Dolly with surprise. “Did you say partnership?”
Dolly chuckled. “Yeah. I offered him a partnership in this place. He’s a natural at this.”
Jessica said nothing rather than argue with the very nice woman Ben obviously liked a lot. She shifted her gaze back to Ben, who was making coffee and flirting with the customers. He was a surgeon who had operated on things that these girls couldn’t even spell, not to mention identify on a cadaver. It was such a waste of time and talent.
He looked ridiculous with the white cloth apron tied around his hips over the faded blue jeans and New York Yankees T-shirt. Yeah, the jeans showed off his muscular thighs and trim butt and the T-shirt hugged his shoulders and pecs, making her palms itch to rub over the soft cotton. But these girls hadn’t seen him in surgical scrubs. Yes, the denim showed more off than his loose-fitting scrubs. Still, there was something so sexy about a guy who saved lives. These girls had no idea what how much sexy Ben could turn on.
“He’s got a lot of great ideas,” Dolly added.
Jessica looked at her again. Maybe her face had give
n away more of her skepticism than she’d thought. In that case, some sarcasm wouldn’t get her into too much trouble.
“Great ideas about coffee?”
Dolly laughed. She didn’t seem offended. “Not exactly. Great ideas about business.”
Jessica knew Ben was incredibly intelligent and capable and a whole host of other complimentary adjectives. She would bet all of her savings that his grasp of the human anatomy and physiology was superior to all the other physicians at St. Anthony’s. But coffee and biscotti were surely in a whole other category.
“Such as?” Jessica asked, curious about this side of Ben Dolly seemed so enthralled with.
Dolly waved toward a bright orange sign on the bulletin board on the wall to Jessica’s left.
Free Coffee the large black letters at the top yelled. How giving coffee away was a good thing for business was beyond her. She moved closer to the flyer and read: to any designated driver for patrons of The Watering Hole. It went on to explain how people agreeing to refrain from drinking in order to safely drive others home from the bar across the street could sit in Cup O’ Joe and have free coffee until their services were needed. They were even given a pager to be used by their friends at the bar so they knew when it was time to go.
“Giving away your products for free is helpful?” Jessica asked.
Dolly smiled. “Nothing looks better than doing public service,” she said. “Plus, these folks drinking free coffee get a chance to try our stuff, see our shop, and have a positive association with it. Then when their friends mention going out and doing something different for a change, they’ll think of us and suggest it to their group. Or so Ben told me when he gave me the idea.” She laughed. “Besides they might need to buy some cake or pie to go with their coffee.”
Jess had to admit that was pretty good. “Ben’s very aware of the problem with drunk driving from the ER,” Jessica said, thinking in particular of Ted Blake.
Dolly nodded. “Oh, yeah, Doctor-Boy is going to set up some health talks too.”
“What kind of health talks?”
“Once a month people will be able to come in for lunch or coffee and dessert from one to two p.m. and hear somebody talk about a health topic.”
“Really?” That was interesting. And good. Dammit.
Dolly shrugged. “We haven’t done it yet, but lots of people have commented on wanting to come to the one he’s doing next week.”
“What’s the topic?”
“How caffeine works on the body.”
Jessica smiled, then laughed, as did Dolly. Jessica felt better about all of it. “Ben’s sticking to his first love, healthcare, after all I guess.” Just in an alternate way. But she took it as a sign he still knew what was important and what his gift was.
Until Dolly spoke again. “Yeah. Though his idea for the moms group isn’t exactly healthcare related.”
“His moms group?”
“M. O. M. S.,” Dolly spelled. “It stands for Moms Offering Moms Support.” Dolly laughed at the surprised and confused look on Jessica’s face. “He wants to get some women who have kids that are older together with some of these teenage mothers.” Dolly shook her head. “Some of those young girls don’t have any idea what to do about things like potty training and disciplining and finding good daycare. Who better to ask than a mom who’s been there and done it well?”
Jessica stared at her. Good grief. Give him half a year and he’d have world peace nailed down.
“Is that something else Ben told you when he told you the idea?”
“Basically.”
“How’d he think of that?” she asked, remembering his interactions with Sophie at the center.
Dolly looked directly at her, but her expression was soft. “He listens and pays attention to what people need. Then he’s smart enough and generous enough to find a way to meet the need. It’s his gift.”
She moved off then to help a customer, as Ben was busy finally filling the order of his four admirers. Jessica watched him and felt her heart thump almost painfully in her chest.
He moved at ease behind the counter, competently doing three things at once, chatting and laughing and generally having a good time doing what he was doing. He moved with the same grace and confidence she’d seen a hundred times in the ER, but there was something different about this man.
She also knew right away what it was: he was happy here. The pressure and intensity and concentration that were such a part of him were missing.
Jessica checked herself to see if she felt any disappointment or fading of her attraction to him. That would actually be quite helpful. But she knew that answer immediately as well: no way. She’d been a sucker for heroes for a long time. But this Ben, this relaxed side of him, was as appealing as the savior side.
Which didn’t do anything for her mental well-being. Whether or not she wanted to sleep with him, Russ was counting on her to keep him out of trouble and she knew from Sam that Russ had assured the lawyers, St. Anthony’s CEO and the Board of Directors that things were being handled. If Ben did anything crazy or didn’t report back to work after his suspension was over, everyone would know, and blame her.
It’d certainly be easier to be tough with Ben if she didn’t like him so much. It’d be easier to resist his invitations to be irresponsible and it would certainly make it easier to not care that she’d never seen him smile this much at the hospital.
She was so screwed.
She wanted him, she liked him and she cared how he felt. Crap.
Ben came toward her then, his four devotees finally appeased. He had a wicked gleam in his eyes. That seductive, predatory look in the middle of the warm, pleasant shop made her think of a whole lot of other uses for the whipped cream and chocolate shavings that Dolly kept behind the counter.
“I’m glad you’re here,” he said. “I want to show you something.” He held up the slab of countertop that lifted to let staff pass behind the counter from the public area.
“I came to tell you that I got called into the ER tonight, so you don’t have to stop by the center.”
Russ probably didn’t know that she’d been called to fill in for a sick colleague, or he’d have found a way to cover the shift without causing her to leave Ben alone. But she’d been off for the last three days. She’d never been off for more than one at a time before. Not only were her co-workers getting irritated, she was missing her work. Besides, Sam was going to chaperone Ben tonight. The idea of Sam chaperoning anyone was the perfect illustration of how outlandish this was all becoming. Even Sam was concerned enough to behave.
“I told the guys I’d be there at four,” Ben said with a shrug
“The guys?”
“Mario, Tony, Reuben… Those guys,” Ben said.
Jessica blinked at him. “You’re going to the center anyway?”
Ben grinned and crossed his arms. “You’re not the only one at that center who has something I want.”
Uh, huh. He hadn’t been trying to get anything from her for days. Her eyes narrowed. “Is that right? What do Mario and those guys have?”
“A great basketball game.”
All at once, strangely, and stupidly, she was choked up by the man standing in front of her. Liking him was going to be the least of her troubles. Wanting him physically was a no-brainer. But what was complicating things was wanting him as far more than just a friend. Which was definitely stupid.
When she’d barely known him, she could admit that having him as more than a friend or lover had occurred to her. He’d been the star in a number of daydreams that included a lot of great sex, of course, but also a couple of wedding rings and a joint checking account.
Yes, she’d filled in the blanks about him with her own appealing ideas. That was what having a really good crush was all about, wasn’t it?
Now, though, she knew better and knew that his life’s ambition seemed to include having as little ambition as possible. His professional dedication now started and ended with Styrofo
am cups and flavored syrup. His sense of purpose now came from creating the perfect cappuccino foam versus performing, say, the perfect valve repair. Yet, she was beyond a crush. She was falling for him. For real this time.
Being married to someone who had no direction, no purpose, wouldn’t work for her. She’d been without direction herself at one time, wandering all over without a road map. She didn’t want to be in charge of the steering wheel for anyone else; especially a wheel that seemed so intent on veering off course.
Of course there were two things wrong with this whole train of thought.
One, she’d only spent a few days of real time with him and had no indication that he’d had one single thought of her beyond the bedroom. They were a long way from receiving Christmas cards addressed to Dr. and Mrs. Torres.
And two, it was possible that he was headed in a very specific direction. It just wasn’t the one she thought it should be.
Her brain cramped.
She needed to go. She stepped toward the front door. “Um, I wanted to tell you about, you know, my work thing.”
“No, you didn’t.”
She stopped and looked at him. “What?”
“You wanted to see me.”
“Really, I—”
“Jessica, if all you wanted was to tell me something you could have called. But you brought your beautiful butt down here because you wanted to see me. So get back here and see me already.”
“Ben, I…” she stopped. He was right. She’d wanted to see him.
She gave up and stepped through the barrier behind the counter.
As she moved past him he said quietly, “Yes, I would have missed seeing you too if you hadn’t come down here.”
She didn’t admit it, but then she didn’t have to, did she? Ben knew exactly what she was thinking and feeling. Great.
“You had something to show me?” she asked.
“Right in here.” He took two steps, pushed open the swinging door into the kitchen and held it open.
Just Right: The Bradfords, Book 1 Page 17
