“God, you’re a pain. Okay, fine. I’ll only be with you, but we’re not boyfriend and girlfriend, and I can’t promise—”
He pressed his lips to hers and lifted her off her feet and deepened the kiss. With kisses like this, how could she ever deny that they were so much more than a hookup?
“I can’t,” she said between kisses, “change, Hunter.” He kissed her again, and she pushed his mouth away. “I’m selfish. My life is crazy. I’m not good at commitments, and I’m not sure you are either.”
He huffed in annoyance, lifting her higher and guiding her legs around his waist. “You’re also a stubborn pain in the ass, but I’m pretty sure I know what I’m getting into. Now shut the hell up and kiss me.”
Hunter carried her inside and debated carrying her straight into the bedroom to show her just how much he wanted this to work, but he knew they’d never get any more talking done if he did. They had one day without distractions, and he intended to take full advantage of the time and show Jana just how right they were for each other.
***
JANA WATCHED HUNTER as he read through her lists and the notes she’d taken about opening a studio. His confession had left her reeling and feeling a little overwhelmed, and they’d sat on the couch and talked for a long time about things that weren’t as scary, like how she’d ended up in that tight dress and spiky heels. He’d laughed when she’d admitted that while onstage, she’s been pretending she really was Taylor Swift. She’d told him about crying when she’d heard that she didn’t get the space at Seaside and how she’d been taken by surprise by her tears. He’d told her that those tears should have been her first eye opener about how much the studio actually meant to her. And he’d held her when tears threatened again with her confession, and he’d whispered, I wish I could have been there to help you feel better. He offered comfort without judgment. He was the one person she thought she never wanted to see her weaknesses, and somehow, when he did, he made her feel stronger for it.
They’d picked up her car from Seaside and spent all afternoon talking. They’d talked about his mom and how much he missed her. He’d shared his heartache over his father’s alcoholism, and she’d seen the relief of having his father whole again written all over his face. She realized how he must have felt, seeing her that drunk. Not just last night, but most of the times they’d hooked up, and she realized she’d been using alcohol as an escape, too, and it was time to stop.
Now, as she watched him reading over her notes, she was filled with emotion for the man who probably should have run from her, and instead, he’d not only opened himself up, but he was helping her slow down and do the same.
She’d expected him to skim her notes, at best, but he really seemed to care. He was concentrating, pointing to words, then looking away, as if he were thinking about what he’d read.
He closed the notebook and placed his hand over the top of it. “You’ve done your homework.”
“Yeah, but it doesn’t matter anymore. Maybe Marco will come back and things will be better.” She reached for the notebook, but he wouldn’t let it go.
“Since when are you a quitter?” he said harshly.
She was baffled by his swift attitude change. “I’m not a quitter.” She yanked the notebook from his hands. God, would they always bump heads, even after such a nice few hours?
He scoffed. “You must not have wanted your own studio very badly, then.”
“I just told you that I cried because I wanted it so badly, and you know I don’t cry. I scream and yell, but I never cry,” she challenged. “Having my own studio would mean that I could go back to doing theater. I could make my own hours, my own decisions. God, Hunter.” She shifted her eyes away, annoyed at herself for snapping at him.
“Then why are you giving up? Just because you lost one space that was handed to you? Let’s get out there and find you another space.”
“Oh, like it’s that easy?” She rolled her eyes.
“Nothing worth anything is easy. Jesus, look at you.” His smile told her he was only half kidding, but he was right. Jana knew she was anything but easy. “Lucky for you, maybe it can be easier for you than for most people. You can use our empty building out on Route 6.”
“I am not using your space.” She got up and paced the living room.
“Why not?”
“Because we’re involved. Mixing business and pleasure is never a good idea.”
“Jana, it’s in the perfect location, with plenty of parking, no retail neighbors to complain about loud music or whatever other concerns you might have, and it’s mine, which means you can use it without worrying about a shitty landlord.”
“No.” She continued pacing. “It complicates things too much.”
He rose to his feet and blocked her path, anger rolling off of him in waves.
“When will you step out of your own stubborn way? Open your eyes and take what’s being offered. Everything you want is right here in front of you.”
She flinched at the tone of his voice and wondered if he meant him or the space he was offering. “It’s not a good idea.”
“You made it very clear that we’re not girlfriend and boyfriend, and I can deal with that, but, Jana…” He pulled her in close again—he was always pulling her in close lately, and not just for sex, but making her feel special and important. Like she was the only thing that mattered and he wanted to keep her safe. She wasn’t used to that.
The tension in him eased as their bodies came together. “Baby, what I’m offering has nothing to do with sex, or us, or commitments. It has to do with you achieving your dreams.”
She wanted to trust that he was telling her the truth, but she was still reeling from how much had changed between them—and inside her—in the past few hours. She didn’t fully trust it. They were both committing to something they’d fought forever. But not really. She honestly hadn’t even tried to pick up a man in six months, and she’d only slept with Hunter. Whether she’d acknowledged it to herself or not before she was forced to, it was the truth.
“So, your offer has absolutely nothing to do with control?” she asked. “Or wanting to keep me under your thumb?”
He pushed away. “No. Jesus, is that what you think?” He fisted his hands and walked around the couch.
She wondered if he was going to walk right out the door, and the thought brought a rise of renewed panic. She was messing everything up between them, and she didn’t want to mess them up; she just needed to slow them down. Or maybe it was her life she needed to slow down.
Thankfully, Hunter didn’t head for the door. He went into the kitchen and leaned against the counter with his back to her. She had pushed him away so hard, so many times, and he never ran away. She took a step closer to where he stood and stopped when he turned around, his gorgeous dark eyes laden with defeat.
“Jana, I know I’m aggressive, and I get why you’d think I want to control things, but can’t you see I’m trying here? I may be an asshole sometimes, but I’d never try to control you. You’re like a wild horse. You can’t be tamed or chained.”
He searched her eyes as he had earlier, and this time she was sure he saw her heart opening up to him, because she couldn’t stop it if she tried. No one had ever seen her so clearly before, understood what she’d felt like her whole life. There was so much she wanted to do—boxing, dancing, theater…him.
“That’s one of your most alluring qualities.” He smiled, shook his head. “Believe it or not, I like who you are, and I don’t want to change you. I just want to be with you. To experience life with you and see you happy. When you talk about opening your own studio, your entire face lights up, and I’d hate to see you give that up so easily. Especially when easy isn’t any part of who you are.”
The sincerity in his voice was too genuine to deny. He really was interested in helping her, walking beside her, not carrying her. And at a time when he could have told her she was easy to get in bed, he didn’t take that half-teasing stab. He’d somehow made her fee
l stronger again, and that overwhelmed her, softened her toward him even more.
“You are probably the only person who sees me for who I really am, and…” Her feelings for him warred with the fear of somehow hurting him—or herself. “I appreciate that more than you can know. And I love that you want to be with me, not control me. But can I think about it? See the space?” she asked as she came around the couch and joined him.
“Of course.” He didn’t look mad, just resigned, like he knew she’d need time.
“Shouldn’t you talk to Grayson about it first?” She reached for his hand, and this time when he pulled her in close, she wrapped her arms around him and soaked in the comfort he offered. “I’m sorry. Everything is changing so fast. You’re so sure of it all, and it’s just going to take me some time.”
“To trust me.”
It wasn’t a question, but she realized he only understood part of what she was saying. It was also about trusting herself not to hurt him.
“To trust both of us. To trust the changes we’re talking about. I’m sorry.”
He drew back and lifted her chin, gazing into her eyes with a look that told her that everything had changed. Gone was the competition, the games, replaced with something real. Replaced with more.
She felt panic rising in her chest, and this time it was easier to push it back down.
“Don’t ever apologize for being careful. We both have pasts, and they’re not pretty. Hell, Jana, they’re too much for most people to even try to understand. But you and me? I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. We’re so similar. We’re both stubborn, controlling, passionate. I want to cross this line with you. I want to build trust, but it goes both ways. We’ll argue, and we might take seven steps back for every one we take forward, and that’s okay.”
You really do get me.
Maybe they could do this.
“Regardless of whether you tell me tomorrow that you made a mistake and we can’t be together or not, the space I’m offering you stands. No strings attached. I’ll talk to Gray, but he won’t mind.” He smiled and said, “You know where it is, right? Prime location. Right on Route 6 across the street from the Dunkin’ Donuts, with plenty of parking. It’s unfinished, and we can build it out however you’d like.”
He held up their laced hands before lowering his lips to hers, sealing his hopes with a kiss and igniting hers.
Chapter Twenty
THEY DIDN’T HAVE wild monkey sex that night, and they didn’t go see the space off of Route 6. After Hunter made a trip home for the necessities—clothes and condoms—they made a quick dinner and watched a movie. Jana fell asleep with her head on Hunter’s lap about halfway through Million Dollar Baby, for which Hunter was glad, because he knew she’d give him shit about his damp eyes. That movie got him every time, because he saw Jana in Hillary Swank’s fierce determination. He’d carried Jana to bed, and for the second morning in a row, Hunter had woken up with Jana in his arms.
Then they’d had wild monkey sex.
In the days since, life had been hectic. Between Hunter’s long hours working on the sculpture to make the deadline for the competition and the extra hours Jana was putting in at the studio, they rarely saw each other before nine at night. Thankfully, Jana hadn’t fought him on staying over, and they’d woken up together every morning for the past week. He’d kicked her out of bed for her boxing practices, though he had a hard time letting her leave the house in her sexy little workout clothes, inciting her to roll her eyes and tell him that if he didn’t stay over, she’d get out of the door quicker.
He loved every minute of their bickering and somehow knew it might never change. He sure as hell hoped it didn’t.
Hunter had spoken to Grayson about letting Jana use the space, and as Hunter had assumed, Grayson was all for it. Meanwhile, Hunter and Jana discussed the what-ifs about her accepting the space ad nauseam. What if we break up? What if we stay together but owning my own studio doesn’t work out? What if I quit my job and no one wants to take my classes? They’d become experts at talking about the space, and Jana’s excitement about opening a dance studio had only increased. But Jana had successfully avoided or redirected every conversation about their relationship.
It was Sunday evening, and their schedules had finally eased enough to go see the space.
Hunter opened the passenger door of the truck and helped Jana out, handing her the keys. “Here you go, pretty girl. Check it out. See how it feels.”
“This location is great,” she said as she walked toward the front door. “And you’re right. There’s plenty of parking.”
Like most of the buildings on the lower Cape, the cedar siding was weathered and gray, and the storefront looked more like a residential house than a commercial property.
“The gardens are overgrown, and the grass needs to be mowed, but those are easy fixes.” Hunter pointed to the right side of the parking lot. “I was thinking that we could put a sign up there, that way the trees out front won’t block it from traffic coming in either direction.”
Jana turned and faced the street with a wide smile. “I can’t believe you guys don’t use this place. Or haven’t already rented it out.”
Hunter shrugged as they made their way to the front door. “We were going to open a showroom, but right after we bought it we were so busy with orders that we pushed the idea off for a while. And now we work on a custom-order basis, so we don’t really have stock, and renting is a big time suck.”
He placed his hand on her lower back as they walked up the front steps. “But I’d suck anything for you,” he teased, with a flick of his tongue over her ear.
She giggled, and he watched her unlock the door. Lately he found himself studying her movements a little closer, capturing her energy to pour into the sculpture. He’d been so inspired this week that he’d completed the body. He’d begun fabricating thin, twisted strips of iron to create a skirt that looked like it was blowing in the wind, and over the next week or two he’d create a bodice out of hundreds of small pieces of metal and mirrors to simulate fabric for her top.
Every moment he and Jana spent together bonded them on a newer, deeper level, and he woke up each morning more inspired than the day before. The sculpture was changing as quickly as their relationship. When he looked at Jana, his muse, he saw a woman breaking free of her own confines and evolving right before his eyes, and because of that, the sculpture had taken on a life of its own.
Jana smiled as she pushed the door open. The property had been empty for so long, the hardwood floors were covered in a fine layer of dust, and Hunter realized his mistake. He’d been so excited to offer the space to her, knowing the location alone would practically assure her success, he’d forgotten about cleaning it.
“Sorry, babe. I probably should have had it cleaned before showing it to you.”
“That’s okay. I don’t mind a little dirt.” They went inside, and she turned in a slow circle, a sweet smile spreading her lips. “This is big enough to have a reception area up here with chairs for parents, and…” She walked across the floor, then turned to face him again.
He was right behind her and folded her in his arms. “A reception area, huh? I was thinking that this was the make-out lobby.”
She went up on her toes and wound her arms around his neck. “Mm. I like that.”
“Wait until you see the cunnilingus kitchen.” He slanted his mouth over hers and clutched her ass.
“Hunter,” she whispered. “Why didn’t we start there?”
He nibbled her neck as they moved toward the doors in the back of the building. She was walking backward, stopping every few seconds as he sucked or nipped at her skin.
“Baby, I’ll start anywhere you’d like.” He lifted her into his arms and she wound her legs around his waist. How did she do this to him? Take him from a walk through a building to wanting to tear her clothes off in a matter of seconds? The rosy flush on her cheeks and lust in her eyes as her mouth met his in a hungry kiss a
lways pulled him in.
He pushed open the door to the kitchen and lowered her onto the counter. “You’re so fucking sexy. I swear, Jana, you totally own me.” He crushed his mouth to hers as he hiked her skirt up around her waist and teased her through her silky panties.
“Oh God, yes,” she hissed.
He tugged her panties to the side and slid two fingers in deep, burying his tongue in her mouth and moving his fingers and tongue with the same rhythm. She returned every stroke of his tongue with one of her own. When he used his thumb to tease her clit, her head tipped back, revealing the creamy expanse of her neck. Lord, he could come just watching her fall apart against him. He sank his teeth into her sensitive skin above the curve of her shoulder and her breathing became shallow. She clawed at his shoulders as he sank lower and brought his mouth to her hot, wet center.
“Hunt…Oh my Go...” Her words trailed off as he pressed her legs open wide and feasted on her.
Her thighs tensed, and he felt her climax build in the rock of her hips, her panting sighs. She cried out his name as she came apart, and just as she came down from the climax, he buried his fingers inside her again, quickly finding the spot that sent her right back to the peak, and took her in a wild, passionate kiss.
As the tension in her body eased and their lips parted, he said, “Want to see the naked stockroom?”
***
HUNTER. GOD, HUNTER. He was turning her inside out. He’d taken care of her in so many ways over the last week. Sex had become the icing on the cake instead of the cake itself. She never thought she’d meet a guy who was as sexual as she was. Yes, guys were all sexual, but most had no imagination. Hunter had no inhibitions. He took and gave in equal measure, and she loved that about him. He wasn’t put off when she was aggressive, and he was constantly surprising her in other ways, like texting just to say he was thinking about her. Sometimes they were sexy texts; other times they were so sweet they turned her mind to mush. When they’d argued last night, he’d taken out her boxing gloves and held up a pillow for her to work out her aggression. And probably the sweetest thing, which no one would ever believe if she told them, was that before bed, he’d begun rubbing her feet. You’re on these babies all day long. They need attention, too. Even now he took care of her, fixing her skirt and putting her shirt back on, making sure she was properly covered.
Seaside Embrace (Love in Bloom Page 16
