fishing cottage.”
I chewed on my lip. “Yeah. I’m sorry about that.” “Tell me how you came to find me,” he requested. “All right.” Reluctantly I sank back into the chair. After
a moment I let the story spill out of me, leaving out any mention of the notes or Ingerman. “I am glad you thought to call Grandfather,” the master said when I finished. “He'll know what to do about this. Did he have any thoughts?”
I bit my lip and found I couldn’t meet his gaze. “Just that…just that I’m a danger to everyone around me. That this whole thing is my fault.” I forced my eyes to his.
Consternation covered the master’s face. “How in the three kingdoms could it be your fault?” A hint of a grin swept his mouth. “You mean you really did try to kill me?”
“Of course not. But it has to do with me.” To my mortification, my voice broke, but I forced myself to continue, even as tears gathered in my eyes. “That note was sent here because of me.”
“Blast those notes,” the master growled, sitting up. “And blast this anonymous coward. Why doesn’t he show his face and fight like a man?”
I swiped angrily at the tears. “Maybe…maybe he’s not a man at all,” I muttered.
“Sure. You mean to say some woman built that spell? Some “Sure. You mean to say some woman built that spell? SomeBeckstead / Shadowed by Death / 278
advanced enchantress heretofore unknown in Faronna?” he scoffed, and reached for my hand. “Stop making yourself feel guilty for something that isn’t your fault, Avery. You didn’t do this to me, all right?”
But that made me feel even worse. I felt my face screw up in ugly tears, and I turned my head away, trying not to sob.
“Devil’s dawn,” he said, his voice bewildered. “Will you stop that? I hate it when you cry. I really hate it.”
I gulped and sniffed and tried to rein the tears in, but I’d already given them their head, and they were in no mood to slow down.
“Stop it, I said. There’s no reason to cry.” When I didn’t, he took my chin in his hand and turned my face toward his. With a flick of his finger he plucked a handful of handkerchiefs from the air and daubed liberally at my tears with the wad of fabric. “You have my solemn promise that I don’t think any of this is your fault. All right?”
“But…you don’t know everything,” I said, and hiccuped, though the tears did seem to recede some. Could I behave any more like a child?
He grinned, one hand still to my chin. “Is there something more to tell?”
Bones, he was handsome, with those dark eyes and that strong jaw. I wished he’d stop being so nice to me so I wouldn’t be fooled into thinking he cared more for me than he actually be fooled into thinking he cared more for me than he actuallyBeckstead / Shadowed by Death / 279
did. I swiped the handkerchiefs from him and dabbed at my face, then straightened and took a deep breath. Time to get it over with. “I know who did this,” I announced.
His hand dropped to his lap. “You do? And you’re just now mentioning it? Whom do you suspect?”
I gulped, cast a privacy spell, and plunged ahead. “Keturrah Ingerman.”
Bafflement overtook his features. “Ingerman? You suspect a long-dead female underwizard did this to me? She was Punished, you know.”
“She wasn’t, actually. Oscar’s been and gone, and he admitted as much to me.” I dug in my pocket. “Read for yourself.” I pulled the folded parchments out of my pocket and handed them over.
He scanned through the notes in silence, the only sound the occasional shuffle of parchment leaves. Finally he lifted his eyes to mine. “You’ve been getting more of these? Why didn’t you mention it?”
“It…never came up.”
“It never came up? How—why—” He gaped at me.
I rushed to explain. “I was going to tell you. But there was too many other things going on, and it fell by the wayside. And then every time I tried to mention it…Valerie seemed to come up instead.”
Beckstead / Shadowed by Death / 280 He massaged his forehead. “Valerie again. Why are you so bothered by her?”
“I don’t know,” I wailed, suddenly unable to hold in the truth. “I think I’m jealous.”
He blinked in surprise. “Jealous? I…suppose I have been spending a lot of time with her lately. But she’s just an old friend. You’re my apprentice.”
I couldn’t stop myself from demanding, “Are you going to marry her?”
“It’s none of your business.”
“But it is! If you get married, it’s going to change everything about our relationship. Our apprenticeship. Our friendship.”
“Fine. I promise that I won’t marry Valerie until after our apprenticeship has ended.”
I suppose that should have made me feel better, but it only made me feel worse.
“Now stop changing the subject. This is all skirting the real issue, which is that you lied to me. After we agreed to have honesty between us.”
“I was going to tell you about the notes. I just hadn’t found the right time yet,” I said defensively. “Belated honesty is still honesty.”
He crossed his arms and fixed me with a look of disgust. “That might be the dumbest thing you’ve ever said, Avery “That might be the dumbest thing you’ve ever said, AveryBeckstead / Shadowed by Death / 281
Mullins. And you’ve said some pretty asinine things.” “I have not. Now you’re just being rude.”
He sighed. “Fine. I apologize. But I’m still furious. The
fact that you could keep this from me…” He trailed off, sounding tired, more than anything. “Will I ever be able to trust you completely?” he asked, at last.
I blinked. “Of course you can. It was one time. One thing. And I’m sorry.”
He shook his head. “One time plus a few dozen others. You claim to hate your father for his questionable ethics, but you’re more like him than you think.”
“Fine. That’s fair. But I’m not asinine.”
He smiled faintly. “That’s the part you take exception to?” He closed his eyes. “I’d like to rest, Avery. Let’s talk about this later.”
I stood there for a moment, uncertainly, wishing he’d open his eyes and take my hand and tell me none of this was my fault again. But there was no chance of that happening now. Thanks to my own foolish choices he may never be so kind to me again. #
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
Shouting. The ground threw me in the air. The sky rained debris. I landed, mortally wounded. When I opened my eyes, I saw Master Wendyn, his hands on his hips, glaring down at me. “You Master Wendyn, his hands on his hips, glaring down at me. “YouBeckstead / Shadowed by Death / 282
did this to me,” he said, his face twisted in a deep scowl. I awoke with a start. Day had broken, and sunlight spilled across the floor.
Details of the nightmare receded as I lay there, staring up at the ceiling. It wasn’t the first I’d had since the master’s injury four days ago, and I doubted it would be the last.
I didn’t much want to get out of bed. The master had spoken to me little in the past few days, although he had nearly returned to his former health. He was clearly still holding a grudge.
Finally I arose and dressed. As I headed for the staircase I passed the master’s room just as he left it. Our eyes met and he frowned. I cleared my throat.
“Are you feeling better? Up to being out of bed?”
“Of course I am. I’m perfectly fine. Stop hovering.”
“But…”
His expression changed at the look on my face. “Look, I’m all right. I’m sorry for being short. Just…stop treating me like an invalid.”
“Of course,” I said uncertainly.
“Did you write to her yet?”
He meant Ingerman, of course. “Yes. I told her what you said, that I was willing to consider her offer.”
“Good. That will buy us some time, anyway.”
I knew what he was talking about. “Uh…no.”
<
br /> He’d given me the assignment a few days ago to pen a reply to Ingerman addressing her attack. “I want to read over it when it’s finished,” he’d said. “This is a delicate subject.” I’d stayed up late working on it, but I couldn’t work out quite what needed to be said. “Have you lost your mind?” seemed to cover it, but I had a feeling she’d be insulted. So far it read, “Miss Ingerman, Now you’ve gone too far. When I get my hands on you, you will regret the day you attacked the man I love.” Clearly I couldn’t show that to the master.
“What’s taking so long? If you don’t communicate with her soon, she may try again. Get it done.”
“Yes. I’ll do that,” I said.
“Good.” He stalked past me to the staircase, and I followed at a safe distance.
***
“Where have you been the last few days, Jasper?” Master Wendyn asked Papa over breakfast. “I haven’t seen much of you.”
“I’ve been busy writing a masterpiece, that’s all,” Papa said. “With the help of my faithful writing sidekick here.” He patted Ivan on the back.
Ivan sat up straighter, looking rather proud of himself.
Master Wendyn’s fork slowed to his mouth. “Writing?” He Master Wendyn’s fork slowed to his mouth. “Writing?” HeBeckstead / Shadowed by Death / 284
repeated. Papa caught his questioning glance. “Didn’t Avery tell you my next genius idea for a book?”
“Another book?” the master asked, and I could hear the unspoken statement in his words: Devil’s dawn. Not again.
“This one’s all right. Avery said so.”
The master gave me an appraising look. “What’s it about?”
“The evil magician who killed my Ida.” At the master’s blank look, Papa went on, “Oh. I forgot. I told Avery the story a while back, but you wouldn’t have heard it. Well, it went like this.” Papa launched into the tale of Mama and the curse that had killed her.
At the conclusion of the story, Master Wendyn put his fork down. “Wow. I’m sorry, Jasper. I had no idea she died that way. That must have been horrific for you.”
“Yes. Well, I’ve come to grips with the whole thing by now, so to speak. I think writing this story for the whole world to see could be very healing. Not to mention I could make a whole lot of money off that killer’s back, and I wouldn’t mind that.”
I frowned.
“I hate to disagree with Avery,” Master Wendyn said, “but I’m sorry, Jasper. Telling that story publicly is not a good idea.”
“What?” Papa sat forward. “Wait a minute. You’re not going to forbid me to write another book, are you?”
“Forbid might be the wrong word. Strongly suggest?” “But why?”
“Yes,” I inserted into the conversation, genuinely curious. “Why?”
“The Council won’t abide illegal spell sellers of any sort.”
“So I’ll write under a fake name.”
Master Wendyn ran a hand over his eyes. “You’re speaking of the most advanced practitioners of magic in Faronna. You don’t imagine they have the ability to find you?”
“But…why would they?” I said. “After all these years? And especially considering his wife died due to his involvement. He’s been punished enough already, hasn’t he?” I could hardly believe I was actually defending Papa.
“I’m not saying I agree with it, but I do think that’s what they’ll do. They might imagine you still have connections to illegal spell peddlers, or that you’re lying about having left the business, or that…well, any number of reasons why. The point is that you and your family—” he looked pointedly at me, “—don’t need extra scrutiny at this point.”
“You underestimate my writing abilities,” Papa said. “I learned caution during my days peddling illegal spell books. I can be the soul of discretion.”
Master Wendyn’s unhappy expression turned down a little further. “Avery, Ivan, please leave. I need to talk to Jasper further. “Avery, Ivan, please leave. I need to talk to JasperBeckstead / Shadowed by Death / 286
alone.”
“But—” I began.
He held a hand up, and I recognized the futility of
speaking further. I followed Ivan out into the hall and we leaned our backs up against the wall.
Not fair, Ivan gestured to me. Your father tries hard.
“Is his story interesting?” I asked curiously.
I like it. Don’t see why he can’t at least write it. Would be secret.
“Master Wendyn’s just trying to protect us. All of us.”
I guess.
I watched him for a minute. “What’s bothering you, anyway? You’ve been so quiet lately, almost out of sorts.”
Nothing.
“That’s not true. Come on. Let’s have it.”
Ivan twisted his hands and finally gestured, I think I want to be an underwizard.
So Master Wendyn had been right after all. “But…I thought you were happy here.”
I am happy. But I want to learn more.
My voice sounded too eager to my ears as I leaned toward him. “You can learn more! You’ve seen Master Wendyn’s library. It’s the most extensive personal library I’ve ever seen! Read those books and you’ll learn everything you need to know to be a fine magician.”
He shook his head. Want to be a master wizard. There was nothing left to say, then. I lapsed into unhappy silence. Why did the mere idea of Ivan leaving bother me so much? “We’ll be apart. Who’ll take care of you?”
I take care of me. I am not the boy from last year. Look what I can do now. He gestured at my head, and snow began to sprinkle down upon me.
“Ivan, stop that,” I complained, twisting away.
He waved a hand and the snow stopped. I do this too. He lifted a hand and drew a caricature in the air in front of me with lines of sparkling magic. It built and took shape until I recognized myself standing before us in miniature, outlined in effervescence.
I couldn’t help smiling at it.
Ivan’s hand hesitated, and then he continued drawing a figure by my side. Our hands were enjoined, and I squinted at the face, trying to figure out who it was—until all at once it became obvious. Master Wendyn.
“Ivan!” I waved a hand through the magic until it disappeared.
I know. I watch. See things. See how you feel.
“You’re crazy.”
No. I don’t belong here. Want my own life. Learn magic.
I felt like I might be sick. “I’ll miss you.”
I miss you also. Always.
But I knew he was right. It was time for him to leave. And I hated it.
***
A few minutes later the door to the breakfast room reopened and Papa stormed out. When we returned to the table, Master Wendyn was massaging his head as though it ached.
“Is Papa all right?” I asked.
“Frankly, I don’t know,” the master said. “Would you check on him?”
“I suppose I can.”
Ivan didn’t bother taking a seat. He slapped the table in front of Master Wendyn and, when the man looked up, gestured, Want to be an apprentice.
“He says he wants to be an apprentice,” I translated, in case the master hadn’t understood.
“Well,” the master said. “This has been a surprising day. And it’s still early.”
“Don’t worry,” I said. “I’m sure it will become mundane again soon enough.”
Master Wendyn pushed to his feet. “I have no idea if Master Beaumont has filled the position yet, Ivan, but it can’t hurt to investigate. Shall we make an excursion to visit him?”
Ivan’s face transformed into a pleased smile.
I found I couldn’t watch this any longer, so I stood and excused myself from the room.
***
The door to Papa’s room stood slightly ajar, and I could hear movement within. I came to a stop in the doorway and observed him bent over his bed, throwing clothes around.
“Are you all right?” I a
sked.
“I’m fine.” He spoke in clipped tones.
“What are you doing?”
He stormed over to the bureau and slammed it open. “I’m leaving. Going back to Waltney.”
“What? Why?”
“Your precious Garrick said I could, so don’t try telling me no.”
“You’re leaving just because you can’t write this book about Mama?”
“Not just that. I’m leaving because I’m treated like a child here.”
I folded my arms, unimpressed by the apparent tantrum. “Well, you can’t go tell your story anywhere else.”
“Of course not. He told me he’d have to cast a thingumwhatever curse on me. Something that made me forget everything. Said he could even make me forget you, if I wanted.” He glanced at me sideways. “Serve you right if I did. You’ve never appreciated me.”
I frowned. “Fine. I don’t want to remember you either. Maybe he can take my memories away too.”
“Wonderful. Let’s just forget we were ever a family to begin with.”
He continued throwing stuff onto his bed. Finally I left.
***
My stomach rumbled as I descended the staircase, and I realized I hadn’t had much to eat. The breakfast room had already been cleared, so I headed for the kitchens.
Cat had her morning tea steeping. She poured some into a cup as I watched.
I sighed and said hopefully, “Tea sounds nice right now. I don’t suppose you have any that doesn’t smell so…awful?”
She turned, her expression startled. “Oh, Avery. I didn’t know you were there. Didn’t get enough at breakfast?”
“Not quite. I was hoping you had something else in here to hold me over for a few hours.”
She smiled kindly and nodded to the larder. “Help yourself. There’s bread and cheese or jam and scones aplenty.”
“Thanks.” I headed for the larder and rooted around for a bit. Behind me Cat caught her breath, and I looked around. “Everything all right?”
“Oh, I’m fine. Thought I saw a rat. Avery, is your father leaving the hall?”
“Have you heard it down here already?” I asked, turning, scone in hand.
“Yes. One of the footmen mentioned it. Are you sure it’s “Yes. One of the footmen mentioned it. Are you sure it’sBeckstead / Shadowed by Death / 291
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