Callie’s breath hitched and she tried to remember that Brian was probably pretty good at this stuff. Brian was, after all, single and had been for quite some time. His job more than likely didn’t allow for long term relationships, so sweet-talking women had to be a rapid-fire task. “If only all men felt that way…”
“My mama raised me to believe that. She’d put the hurtin’ on me if I didn’t respect it.”
A thought occurred to Callie just then, that Brian probably did respect all life, in an effort to do what he did each day on the job. She’d try to cut him some slack as a result. “Well, your mother sounds like a smart woman. It’s what I’d teach my children, if I had any.”
“Do you wish you had children?”
She thought about that for a moment and then answered, “No. I’m glad I didn’t because Frank would have trashed them too and that would have killed me. I’m pushing forty in two years. I wouldn’t want to be sixty when my child graduated. Just my personal feeling. Besides, during the divorce it was hard enough to worry about our dog Aston.”
“He trashed the dog?”
“No, he fought over the dog with me. We share custody. What can I tell you, this is California, it’s very open and free-thinking. Do you want children? You’re still young enough.”
“I’m sorry it was so bad and no, I don’t think children are in the cards for me, but who knows?”
Yeah, who knew? Leave your options open and all. Brian probably hadn’t had time to decide what he wanted in the second half of his life because the first half was so filled with some heavy obligations.
“What are you looking for in a man, Callie?”
Looking? The phrase shocked her. No, no, nope. She wasn’t looking. She was researching. Callie wrinkled her nose. “I guess I’m not really looking per se. Like I said, this began as something for my column, but if I were to ever want to share my life again, it would be with someone who’s a lot like what I put in my profile.”
“Not a serial killer…”
Callie chuckled. “I’m a writer, what can I say? I couldn’t resist. LOL. Honestly? I’d want someone who just wants me. Someone I know without a shadow of a doubt I’m enough for.”
“I can’t imagine you aren’t enough of anything, Callie.”
Callie didn’t know why she was sharing these thoughts with Brian, maybe it was because he asked questions that made her dig deeper inside of herself. Dig into a place that she rarely sifted the dirt off of. “Well, I guess all women who’ve experienced infidelity don’t want to experience it again. I don’t ever want to go through that and I don’t ever want to allow myself to believe that I was the cause of it again.”
“Don’t ever believe that, Callie. That’s a line of shit men feed women when they need an excuse for being pigs. It’s called insecurity. Sorry about the cussing.”
Callie sighed. She only wished she could buy into that philosophy, fed to her by Brian. He couldn’t really mean it. Most men, maybe not all, but most, would do whatever it took to get a little some-some. “I do believe there are men who are capable of being faithful. I have some friends who have amazing relationships, husbands who love them to the distraction of all else. I guess that’s what I want too…if I had my druthers.”
“I’m glad you’ve seen that firsthand. Not all of us are looking to score. Some of us really do want just one woman. There are those of us that want more.”
She shivered, yes, some did want more, but most didn’t. Frank fell into the “most” category. It was easier to talk about someone else than it was to talk about herself, so Callie asked, “What do you want in a woman, Brian?” What did a hottie like Brian look for in a woman? Callie still had a hard time believing he needed an online site to find a date.
There was a long pause and Callie found she waited with anxiety over what Brian’s answer would be. He probably wanted some blonde with big boobs. Unfortunately, poor Brian was barking up the wrong mammary tree.
“I want a woman who will understand how I make my living, why I make it the way I do. I want a woman who wants me without the gun and romance novel job. I want a woman to look at me without fear or awe for that matter because of what I do.”
Callie remained speechless for a moment, letting the impact of his words sink in. If this man wasn’t genuine, and she was certainly no judge of character, then he deserved an Academy Award for best portrayal of longing and sincerity. Callie could almost taste it in every word he typed and she didn’t know if Brian was good at playing the game, or he was as rare as hen’s teeth. Callie had expected to read stats like, stacked, or fun loving and laid back. Stuff she’d read in other men’s profiles on the site. “You haven’t found that yet, Brian?”
“No, I haven’t. I’ve been many things to a woman, but I’ve never had a woman even come close to understanding me or my job.”
The type written words seared Callie’s heart, making it lurch. How could that be? Brian was gorgeous. Surely someone had loved him enough to see his deeply rooted reasons for being a mercenary? It made her inexplicably sad that Brian hadn’t experienced that kind of love. If nothing else, Callie had once loved Frank that way—or as close as one came to loving someone more than she loved herself. “I’m sorry…you’re pretty complex to love, I imagine. Have you ever been in love?”
“I thought I was once, but when we parted ways I realized I didn’t miss her at all.”
Shit. Someone had had her claws in a hottie with a heart like Brian and she’d let him go? Bright. She was very bright—a real Harvard grad. Stupid head… ”Well, then that leaves you for another woman who will love you for who you are, doesn’t it? She’ll be lucky indeed.” Callie meant that too, if Brian were half the man he seemed to be, then he deserved someone very special.
“No, I’ll be the lucky one.”
Callie’s heart warmed and did a little shimmy. She clamped her teeth together and staved off the flood of heat. Damn, he was one helluva guy or incredibly good at pretending to be one. “Yeah, I hope that happens for you…” and she did. Not like tonight or anything, but when he’d tired of instant messaging with her…
“What kind of food do you like, Callie?”
Whatever won’t stay on my ass for long periods of Pilates? No, she shouldn’t say that. “I love Mexican and Italian, German too.”
“Do you like Cajun food?”
“I haven’t had much of it, truthfully. Remember, I live in the land of tofu and yogurt. LOL.”
“I cook and that’s one of my favorites, Cajun food. I spend a lot of time in Louisiana when I’m home in Mississippi.”
“You cook?” Jesus Christ in a mini skirt, Brian cooked? Crap, he was too perfect for her sorely lacking culinary skills. Hell, he had the resume of a God with the exception of that one little, nagging thing called his job. It entailed death, quite possibly his.
“Yeah, I do.”
“Oh, fan me please! I can’t breathe. I hate to cook. I eat a lot of cereal.”
“LOL. Maybe someday I’ll cook for you.”
“Oh! Would you? I’d love nothing better than to come home to something more than Captain Crunch. I mean, I cook and I’m a good one. I just hate to. It’s only me to feed so there just doesn’t seem to be a reason to cook.”
“Hehehe. Yes’um, I’d cook for you. Anything you want.”
“LOL. It’s a date then.” Date? Enough flirting there, you vixen. She’d nearly offered him an ovary there over some food…and then a thought struck Callie. Yes’um? He was a good ‘ol boy and he probably had a thick Southern accent. Sexier by the second… “You have a Southern accent, don’t you?”
“Yep, first impression of me = Jethro Bodine from the Beverly Hillbillies.”
Callie snickered. Well, whatever he sounded like, he looked too dreamy for her to care. She glanced at his picture again and grinned. “That’s okay. I’m from Jersey and I’m no Soprano. No accent and living in California I don’t say ‘hey, dude’ ever.”
“A Yankee, huh?”
�
�Yep, and proud of it. I miss the North East, but my job brought me here and so I stayed. My mother is here too. Is your family back in Mississippi?
“Yep, they are. Two brothers and my parents. My parents own a farm.”
“Ooh! Horses and stuff? I love animals.”
“Yes, they have horses. It’s beautiful there. You’d like it. They have a lot of those antebellum homes I was talking about in my e-mail.”
“Oh, that’s right! You like fixer-uppers. Me too.” Callie sighed with longing for her power tools that somehow Frank had managed to confiscate, but wouldn’t touch if you paid him good money. Well, not unless Pamela Anderson showed him how to use them, bent over with a tiny T-shirt on, that is.
“I’d really love to buy one. One with a hayloft.”
Callie had a thought that she probably shouldn’t about that hayloft and Brian in nothing else but hay. “Whatever will you do with a hayloft, Brian?” Callie knew what she’d do. He, on the other hand, probably wanted to put a big screen TV in it.
“I’d sleep in it. I’d bring my poncho and if you let me, I can borrow your pillow and I’d take naps up there.”
Fissures of heat zinged along on an all-points bulletin to Callie’s nether regions. In her mind, she could see Brian’s head on her pillow, dark and wavy… ”I’ll share my pillow if you share your poncho liner…” she joked.
“I’d share whatever you asked me to if you wear your Daisy Dukes and bat those beautiful eyes at me.”
Callie felt dizzy and her fingers were numb.
“I’d scoop you up to the hayloft and we could spoon.”
Callie typed the only thing she could, and as she did she exhaled softly. “Sigh…you like to spoon?”
“LOL. Yep, I’m a closet spooner, just don’t tell any of my friends. You?”
God, Callie missed spooning. Not with Frank, but just the physical warmth of someone tucked possessively nearby, the heat of another human being against her back. A place to seek shelter in the deep of night. A safe harbor. Callie cleared her clogged throat and typed, “Yes, I love to spoon…”
“Then we can add something else to our list of things in common.”
If Brian could only know how much she missed having that kind of human contact. For months after she and Frank had broken up, she’d put a pillow on his side of the bed, tucked behind her. “Yes, I guess we can.”
“Yeah…” Brian typed and Callie would swear she heard him sigh too. Of course, it was just her imagination, but it warmed her to kid herself anyway.
“What else do you like, Callie? What makes you sigh just like spooning does?”
Hmmm.
Brian made her sigh. No, no she couldn’t reveal that. That would be rather tart-like and beyond even her cyber flirty boundaries. “Love songs. I’m the queen of love songs. Nothing makes me sigh like a good love song. What about you? Do men sigh over anything?”
“Your eyes make me sigh.”
Oh, they did not. Did they? Butts made men sigh, hooters too and they were sighing with lust, not like what Callie was sighing over—meaningless words that she knew damn well were meaningless. But they were sweet and to allow herself to revel in them for now couldn’t hurt. “Thank you, Brian. No one talks much about my eyes, mostly it’s my lips. LOL.”
“I’ll bet. You do have great lips.”
“Well, apparently, I get a lot of e-mail about them. One man called me sexy lips and another said they were juicy. LOLLOL.”
“Juicy? Sensuous, yes, full and pouty, yes, but juicy?”
Callie giggled again, warmed by the word sensuous. “Yes, juicy. I dunno, it all just seems so silly all of this e-mail about my lips. I should have called myself Sexylips66 rather than Writer66.”
“It would fit, you know.”
Brian thought her lips were sexy… Callie looked at her picture again and wondered how having chicken in her mouth when the picture was taken could be called sexy. “Um, I think I couldn’t take myself seriously if I did that. It seems sort of vain for someone who’s really honestly just a simple girl.”
“You’re a beautiful woman, Callie, whether you want to acknowledge that or not. I would have never guessed you were thirty-eight, that’s for sure. I get the impression Frank didn’t tell you that often enough. That’s okay. I’ll call you beautiful enough for all the men that contact you.”
Callie stopped breathing just then. No, no, Frank had never called her beautiful, but that Brian did made her shift uncomfortably. She wasn’t very good at accepting compliments, they were usually empty, but Brian’s words she could literally feel. Was he just like Mitch who’d wanted to feel something? Mitch had used the word connected and Callie didn’t get it then, but she did now.
Connected…
There was no sound, no white noise in her head, only Brian’s words and the click of her fingers at her keyboard. “You know something, Brian, I never thought I’d get any e-mail on the site. I mean, I knew I might get some, hoped I would because I want to write this article, but I genuinely thought I’d sit waiting for it to come in.” For some reason Callie needed to explain how insecure she’d been when she placed the profile on Heavenly Hook Ups. She needed to explain that Brian’s words were part of a mending process for her without really telling him. Healing the wounds she’d incurred because of Frank. It sounded lame, reinforced the fact that she was low on self-esteem, but it was true and oddly, she wasn’t afraid to be honest with Brian in her typewritten words. Whether Brian meant them or not, they made her feel less than average.
“Please. I can’t believe you’d think that. But Frank helped I’m sure. I bet you got a lot of e-mail. You ought to forward some to him.”
Yeah, she had. So fuck Frank. “LOL. I got a bit, yes.”
“A bit? I bet that inbox of yours was full to overflowing. I get Russian women and strippers.”
“Oh, hell! The Russian women I understand, they warn you about them on the site, but strippers?”
“Yep. I’ve only expressed interest in one other woman and she turned out to be a stripper, a married one at that.”
“Eek! Married? Oh, man, that sucks.”
“Imagine how relieved I am to find that you’re pretty normal…”
“Well, I gave up stripping AND marriage.”
“Hehehe. I, for one, am glad you gave up marriage.”
Right now, so was Callie. “But the stripping helped pay the bills. LOL.”
“Can I tell you something?”
His question made Callie hesitate to answer. And then, she typed, “Yes.”
“Promise you won’t freak out?”
Callie gulped and answered all light and breezy, not a care in the world, but her heart pumped in her chest. “Promise.” There was another pause in his words as he typed them and Callie bit her lip, waiting…
“I’m looking at your picture right now and something occurred to me.”
Uh-oh. He’d looked more closely and come to the conclusion that she wasn’t what he’d originally thought? “What?” Callie typed with trepidation and fingers of ice.
“I’d really like to kiss you.”
The world did a blurry sorta thing for Callie momentarily and then, straightened itself out.
Brian/Rambo/mercenary man/hottie wanted to kiss uninteresting, average Callie Winston?
Wow.
Whodathunk?
Chapter 5
We have lift off…
Brian was nothing if not honest and telling Callie he wanted to kiss her was exactly something he’d do. Rush in and plow her over, but still, it didn’t stop him from telling her. Brian wanted her to know his intent was genuine—no matter her thoughts to the contrary—doubts he was sure she was having. He could feel them, sense them, but he told Callie anyway because that was Brian in a nutshell. He didn’t wait for what he wanted to come to him. He went in and got it. Sometimes he was aggressive, and he didn’t want to frighten her off, so he decided to chill out. He was going to have to take his time with Callie, even i
f she was experiencing some of the same things he was right now.
But Brian definitely wanted to kiss those lips, long… and a lot. He kinda had to agree with the guy who’d told her they were juicy. He just didn’t want anyone else to discover the fruit.
Brian waited impatiently as Callie typed and wondered if she would tell him to go to hell.
“Why would you want to kiss me, Brian? I’m all about the details, being a writer and all. Just because of a picture?”
Because my cock could beat bricks into pebbles over you? Because the idea of spooning with Callie tucked next to him made his testosterone levels friggin’ hit a ten on the Richter scale? Because Frank was an asshole and had no idea what smokin’ was? Because he wanted to run his tongue over the soft surface of those lips, tangle it with hers? It probably wouldn’t be a good idea to say those things just yet, but she would know sometime in the near future if Brian had his way. “It isn’t just your picture, Callie. You’re funny and interesting and I really like talking to you. Tell me something, if we had spent this evening together talking in real life, just like we have here, would you want me to kiss you?” Ball’s in your court, babe…Brian grinned, pleased with his answer.
“Yes, I think I would.”
Aha! It wasn’t just him. Callie didn’t know how to lie. He’d read that from her honest view of the world so far, it was all in the eyes, baby. “Well, if I were there with you, I’d kiss you.” Brain reinforced that desire because he wanted her to know she deserved to be kissed by someone who knew exactly who he was kissing.
“I’d kiss you back.”
Okay, now his cock was going to have to be beaten into submission before he could get it back under control. Her words hovered in front of him, an invitation, a gesture he knew was hard for her without Callie ever telling him it was. She was man-shy and who could blame her with a fuck like her ex? “Do you kiss on the first date, Callie?”
“I’ve only had one date since I joined and it didn’t involve any kissing, trust me. I haven’t dated since before I met Frank and even then, it was more like a basketball game and a burger. A looong time ago. It was nothing like this. So I don’t know.”
Sexy Lips 66 Page 7
