Callie had no perspective on it. She didn’t want any for now. For the first time in her life she was just going to follow the path of the unknown and see where it led her. If a road block occurred, she’d deal with it and take the detour.
Settling in once again, Callie perused her inbox. Christ the e-mail just kept coming. She was forever going to be in this corner of her bedroom answering e-mails.
To: Writer66
From: I’mthebomb
Subject: Heavenly…
Hey Writer66,
I caught your profile and I had to tell you, you are heavenly to look at, but usually when I date a woman who’s your height, I like her to be more like one-hundred and fifteen to one-hundred and twenty pounds. But I’d make an exception in your case because you have sexy lips.
Andrew
Oh, really? Hmmm, Callie looked at I’mthebomb’s profile and found a glitch in his stats that she was going to pound him with. In her requirements for a date, she’d said she wanted someone five-foot-ten or over. Oh look, poor Andy fell short. Like way short—by like four damn inches! Asshole. Tsk-tsk. She was five-foot-five and one-hundred and thirty pounds. Take it or leave it, ya jerk. Who exactly did he think he was anyway? Freakin’ Brad Pitt? Dream on, shrimp.
To: I’mthebomb
From: Writer66
Subject: Re: Heavenly…
Dear Andrew,
I’m so sorry to hear that, but you know what? I like my men a good six inches taller than you. If you think you might grow a few at this late stage of the game of life, I could go on a diet. If not, then I guess we’re just not meant to be…
With deep regret for what could have been,
Chubby in California,
Writer66
Callie stuck her tongue out at the computer screen as she shipped off Andrew’s rejection. Man, people were bold. However, Callie could be just as bold, as long as it was in words that she wrote. She wouldn’t dream of saying that to someone face-to-face. She was a non-confrontational kinda gal, but rude she’d never allow. Callie looked down at her thighs and winced. Maybe Andrew had a point. One-hundred and twenty-pounds might help that…Callie groaned. She didn’t join this stupid date site to be critiqued. Her thighs were not open for discussion.
Oh, but look, more e-mail. Christ, Callie hoped it left her thighs alone.
To: Writer66
From:Tallandlucious
Subject: Let’s write our own romance
Dear Writer66,
Picture me carrying you over the threshold into wedded bliss. I’ll wine you, dine you, sing you a love song. If you’ll just e-mail me we can begin our love-story.
Anxiously awaiting your words,
Tom
To: Tallandlucious
From: Writer66
Subject: Re: Let’s write our own romance
Dear Tom.
I hate wine, gives me a headache. You only weigh one-hundred and fifteen pounds, so you’d better let me do the carrying. Know any Van Halen?
Anxiously searching for our threshold in sunny California,
Writer66
Callie laughed out loud. If nothing else, these e-mails were keeping her on her toes and her sense of humor was helping. If she could just find a guy who wanted to go out with her rather than woo her with what they thought were pretty words. Callie sighed and stretched. She needed a date, not pretty words. She had two months to get this in the bag. Maybe writing back to some of these looney tunes in a sweet compliant tone would work better? Nah, she didn’t want to go out with anyone that called her juicy lips.
To: Writer66
From: HanginTen
Subject: Hey, Dudette!
Hi Writer66,
My name is Dusty and I caught your profile. Like wow, babe, you’re so hot! Great lips ya got. So, about me… I totally dig surfing and I’m into anything Zen. Buddha is my idol and I love to hang ten anytime I can catch a wave. E-mail me and we’ll totally hook up.
Cya,
Dusty
Like totally…Callie took a look at Dusty’s profile and saw he was but twenty-five. Twenty-five? Okay, no changing diapers on her dates. Callie rested her head on her desk momentarily. Could she just get a break here?
To: Hangin’Ten
From: Writer66
Subject: Re: Hey Dudette!
Dear Dusty,
I’m as old as Buddha and the only thing I’m totally digging is my GRAVE.
Hangin’ in more places than ten in sunny California,
Writer66
Dusty’s age made Callie cringe. Brian was younger than she was, not by much, but he really should be instant messaging with women who were twenty-eight. Two years wasn’t such a big deal, but Callie had put thirty-eight to forty-five as an age requirement in her profile simply because she figured no younger man would be interested in her. It had never even crossed her mind. However, as she wrote some of the stats down for her column, scanning profiles, she noted that on average at least twenty percent of the e-mail she’d received was from a younger man.
Well, who knew? What was the appeal of a woman who was well on her way to forty? Divorced with baggage? This was something worth looking into and now she regretted being so hasty with her answer to Dusty.
Looking out the window by her desk, she realized the sun was about to set, giving her three hours or so to prepare for her cyber date with Brian. A thrill of excitement shot through her. It was silly, and she fully acknowledged it, but she couldn’t keep herself from the anticipation that had been building all day. Callie clicked on Brian’s picture again and gazed at his eyes, light brown with a fleck of amber in them. They smiled at the camera as if they were actually seeing her. His boyish grin contradicted his firmly muscled body and the stubble over his face made her shiver. There wasn’t much about Brian that didn’t make her shiver.
And she needed to get a grip on that. This was a flirtation, a cyber fling that would never see fruition, but she was more curious about Brian than ever and nothing could keep her from being right here at eight ‘o clock.
Except maybe the phone ringing.
Callie scrambled to grab it as she gathered her things to grab a shower and have some cereal for dinner. “Hello.”
“Cal?”
Shit. “Frank?”
“Look, we have to talk about Aston.” His whiny tone meant it wouldn’t be good, Callie knew from experience a complaint was coming on.
Callie reached down and patted Aston on the head, his eyes rolled to the back of his head and he curled himself into a tighter ball. “What do we have to talk about, Frank?” What did he want now? A scheduled read out of Aston’s daily kibble intake?
“He’s really lethargic when he’s with Mandy and me. It’s worrying me. I think he needs to spend more time with a ‘couple’. It’s a good example for him.”
“Spend more time with a ‘couple’? What, in the Barbie dream house? Will you take him for rides in Ken’s corvette to help perk him up? Maybe he’s lethargic because Mandy’s perfume could kill a small country with one whiff! Poor Aston can’t breathe.”
“That’s not nice, Callie.”
Callie rolled her eyes and flipped Frank an invisible bird. “I don’t have to be nice anymore, Frank. Aston is lethargic because he’s just that kind of dog. Not much gets his tail to waggin’. Unlike you.”
“Callie, I’m calling you with a genuine concern and you’re showing your bitter streak.”
Callie snorted. “Know what, Frank? I don’t give a rat’s ass what you think I am. We share custody of a dog, Frank. Do you know how utterly ludicrous that is? A dog. Go fluff Barbie’s hair and leave me the hell alone!”
“Her name is—”
Click. Callie hung up. Buh-bye, Frank. I have a date.
Kinda…
Callie went off to shower and get something to eat before her stomach started to do back flips over her instant message date with Brian and she couldn’t eat anything at all.
As she tore through her drawer of silk
y panties, she fingered a black lace pair she’d bought just recently and wondered if Brian would like them, then she turned just a shade shy of crimson.
What had happened to the nice tight cap on her hormone jar?
Easy answer here, Cal…Brian got a can opener.
Chapter 6
Okay, Callie refused to have a battle of wits with an unarmed man and LoonyToon was without ammo. He’d caught her on the Heavenly Hook Ups instant messenger as she went to grab more dating stats and she couldn’t get rid of him. Being polite didn’t seem to be working in her favor, telling him flat out they absolutely had nothing in common wasn’t working either.
“Do you like the movies?”
Callie yawned, loud and big. “I do. How about you?” her fingers typed, sluggish and lethargic.
“Oh, I love them.”
“What kind of movies do you like?”
“Cartoons.”
Of course, it was a natural conclusion to draw that a grown man would enjoy a little Bugs Bunny… ”Really? What kind?” Callie asked more out of boredom than anything else.
“Well, my feeling is that each of us is like one cartoon character or another. Like we sort of can identify with at least one, you know?”
Yes, she could certainly identify with the Road Runner’s need to clobber Wylie Coyote right about now. Okay, she’d bite, who on earth did LoonyToon identify with? “And who do you feel best represents ‘who’ you are?”
“Guess…”
Dumb, dumb and dumber? No, that wasn’t a cartoon character. “Oh, I couldn’t venture to. I mean that’s a very private, personal thing…” Callie snorted after clicking send.
“I’m surprised you couldn’t read it written all over my profile.”
What, the one that says you like Cheerios and chocolate milk, stud? “I must have missed a glaring hint there…” Callie replied as she glanced at the clock. Oh, Brian, save me from The Cartoon Network.
“Well, Foghorn Leghorn, of course.”
Huh? “And how do you relate to Foghorn Leghorn?” Callie knew she’d regret that question, but she was now dying of looney toon curiosity.
“I’m like a rooster, irresistible to all hens.”
Oh—my—God. This hen was flying the coop. “Very good analogy. I hate to cut this short, but I have to run now. Have a nice night.”
“Wait! I don’t even know your name.”
“You mean you haven’t figured it out from my profile, it’s a lot like the cartoon character I think best represents me.” Callie inquired, fighting a devilish grin.
“LOL. No, I didn’t.”
“Daffy Duck. I’m nuts, or what my therapist delicately calls ‘chemically imbalanced’.” Callie giggled as she clicked send. The instant message box remained blank for a moment and then, she saw LoonyToon was typing.
“Oh…well, you take good care. G’night!”
LoonyToon logged off so quickly Callie was sure the earth moved. Another pick-up successfully thwarted. Cartoons… Callie couldn’t summon up a single ripple of excitement over Elmer Fudd. Maybe LoonyToon was shooting for most original come-on. It was indeed one of the more original Callie had experienced since she’d begun this.
“Hey, sweet pea, you there?” The instant messenger box popped up with a warning ring.
Brian…Sweet pea…he’d called her sweet pea. She stared at the small box with his type written words and sighed as a rush of heart clenching, loin throbbing, longing heat flooded her. Sweet pea… Somehow she could hear him saying that. “Hey, you! How are you today? Did you get some sleep?”
“Yep, a bit. How did you sleep?”
How long had it been since someone asked her how she’d slept, Callie mused. Not in forever. “Pretty good, thanks for asking. You?”
“Well, let’s just say I had to make a real effort to think of other things.”
“Other things?” Callie wondered what other things Brian meant.
“Other things besides you…”
Oh… Oh, my. Brian had thought of her? In that way? Like “the” way? No freakin’ way… “Me?”
“Yes, Callie, you. I couldn’t stop thinking about YOU.”
Callie blushed and her hands went to her cheeks to fan the twin spots of heat on them before she typed, “I thought about you too, Brian.” God, she hoped that didn’t sound too desperate, but it was true and she didn’t feel at all intimidated about telling him that over an instant message.
“Were ya thinkin’ about my poncho liner and your pillow meeting someday?”
Please, that was the least of what Callie was thinking. How about, I was thinking maybe, if you’d be willing, I could climb the mountain that is you… No, no, that would be desperate. Hell…instead Callie answered vaguely. “I thought many things…”
“I can’t get you out of my head, Callie and I don’t know why.”
Callie took shallow breaths of air and gripped the edge of her computer desk. She was in his head? Callie would sure like to know what it was like up in Brian’s head. She had a couple of questions for mercenary man. “So what am I doing in there?” was all she could think of to write.
“You’re invading every one of my senses and in general distracting me to the exclusion of all else.”
No way… Callie gulped. Oh, shit! What could she say to that? Thank you, Brian, may I have another? “Really? So tell me about it. I’m a writer and like I said I’m all about the details,” she typed with shaky fingers and her curiosity got the better of her.
“Are you sure? I don’t want to freak you out, Callie.”
“Yes, yes I’m sure. Always tell me what you’re thinking.” Because here’s a head’s up, Brian, I won’t ever be able to tell you how I feel unless we just instant message each other for the rest of our lives. Wait, what was there to tell? This was a cyber flirtation, not an engagement party.
“From the moment I saw your picture on the site I knew I wanted to know you better and I’ve never felt like that about anyone before.”
“You mean you’ve never felt this way about anyone on the site?”
“No, Callie, I mean ever.”
Breathing…As the background noise faded from Callie’s ears and nothing but the hum of her computer sounded in her brain, Callie typed, “I feel the same way, Brian.” Her fingers shook and a clammy sweat broke out on her upper lip at her admission, but it was true.
“And since I talked to you last night, learned more about you, I only want to know more. I want to know everything about you.”
Callie began to type back, but Brian kept hitting send.
“I want to know what makes you smile.”
“I want to hear all of the things that make you sigh.”
“I want to know what your darkest secrets are.”
“I want to know what your fantasies are.”
“I want to spoon with you…”
Callie’s eyes were glued to her computer screen and her hands shook, but no one had ever spoken those words to her and if Brian was some Internet Casanova, then he was good, because she was reacting to every sentence. “Why, Brian? I don’t understand why you’d want those things from me? I mean, me?”
“Yes, you, Callie. I can’t explain it either. I can only say that I’m drawn to you in a way I have no explanation for and I can’t get enough of you. You’re beautiful and smart and funny and this thing between us just is.”
Callie trembled from head to foot. Under normal circumstances she would have considered Brian’s statement bold, implying that she felt this thing too without even asking, but it was true. It just was… Callie felt it too and she didn’t have words for it. From the moment she’d seen Brian’s picture, she’d wanted to know more about him and his words. Words that were introspective, even invasive, honest and clear. Those very words made her want to know him that much more and it was scaring the bejesus out of her. This instantaneous attraction to nothing but some words and a picture, this connection that simmered from three hundred some odd miles away, thi
s desire to touch him that burned her fingertips and clutched at her gut, this heart pounding need to feel his lips against hers… Callie wanted to believe she was making this into something more than it really was, but a niggle of doubt chewed at her and made her ask, “Don’t you find that odd, Brian, this connection that we’re both feeling?” There, she’d said it, that she too felt this—this whatever it was. Confessions of a middle-aged divorcee…
“No, no I don’t. Maybe I should, but because it’s you, Callie, I don’t find it odd at all.”
No, Callie didn’t find it odd either and that in and of itself was odd and right and then again, odd. It disoriented her, forcing her to leave her cocoon of safety for the unknown. She was no Christopher Columbus and exploring unknown territory frightened her.
“I know this scares you, Callie. Don’t be afraid of it. Let’s just take it slowly and see where it goes, okay?”
How could Brian possibly know how much this terrified her? It didn’t just terrify her, it literally scared her stiff to connect so completely with a picture… ”I’m not afraid of you, Brian. I’m afraid of me. I’m not very good at this dating stuff…I’m as inexperienced as it gets. I was married for ten years, the last three very unhappy to say the least. I don’t understand what’s happening here between us.”
“Then, I’ll tell you what, I’ll lead, you follow until you want to take the reins, then I’ll let ya borrow them, but you have to give them back.” Brian sent an icon along with his message that showed a smiley face with his eyes rolling upward.
Callie giggled. “Well, it’s good to know you can share.”
“I’m a good sharer. Oh, guess what I did today?”
“What?”
“I read a bunch of your columns. You’re really good, Callie. I think you don’t give yourself enough credit. That magazine should be grateful to have you.”
Callie groaned. She hoped he didn’t read the one about breast implants… ”Thanks, I really love my job.” No matter that she was in danger of losing it.
“You’re really good at your job and it shows. The article about breast implants was pretty funny.”
Sexy Lips 66 Page 9
