For crap’s sake, already.
This was about John.
ZoomZoom.
Callie popped open the door and stupidly checked her teeth in the rearview mirror one last time before she headed toward the theater. Making her way through the parking lot, she saw John before he saw her.
He had what looked like a backpack on his shoulders and he stood near the entrance with his hands in his trousers. Callie approached him with hesitance, it was indeed a backpack. John caught sight of her and met her with arms outstretched. “Callie?”
Smiling she gave him a brisk hug. “Yep, that’s me. See,” Callie opened her mouth and pointed to her teeth, “all there,” she joked.
John laughed. “And nice too. Good to meet you!”
John was a nice looking guy. Tall, not as tall as Brian, mind you, but taller than Callie was in her clogs. He had a full head of dark hair, thick and shiny. He smelled okay too and he was in pretty decent shape. His tweed sports coat was freshly dry cleaned and his trousers creased dead center. A nice all ‘round package.
Good, this was good. Sighing, she brightened her smile. “It’s great to meet you too, John.” And it was, probably not as great as it would be to meet Brian. Halt, right there! No more Brian thoughts. This is John. John. Ya know, like the Baptist? John who shares your love of romantic comedies. John. His name doesn’t even sound like Brian. Get it right.
Holding out an arm to her, Callie took it as John led her toward the entrance of the movie theater to purchase tickets. As they waited in line John said. “Man, you’re really nice looking. I was a little worried.”
Callie wrinkled her nose. “Worried? Why?” She’d told him she had all of her teeth, what else could he possibly want?
John smiled and he too, had all of his teeth, “I was worried because I didn’t see what the rest of you looked like. You only had a head shot on the site.”
Ah, the ever-burning question. Did she have arms and legs? What was it about a body that changed the equation for nearly every man? It really was all about the booty. “Well, I suppose I could have been an amputee or walked with a limp, but” Callie stated flatly, “this is it.” Take it or leave it because even if you do have teeth—you’re not winning any body-beautiful awards.
John smiled again and raised an eyebrow. “It is very nice.”
The seal of approval, a good sign indeed. “Um, thanks,” Callie said. What did you say to that? Can you fill out my scorecard, please? Give me the old thumb’s up and post it to the date site so everyone knows I’m worthy? Oh, and while you’re there, could you mention my lips aren’t the only thing I got goin’ on? Christ…
As they approached the cashier, John shrugged out of his backpack and put it up on the silver counter, unzipping the blue nylon pack and digging in it.
Callie was beginning to get nervous. What the fuck was in the backpack already? Was he like the Unabomber? Didn’t she say no serial killers in her profile? No, Callie, serial killers kill people serially, like with a pattern. If John has a bomb in his backpack he’d be like considered postal.
When John’s hand appeared again, Callie wasn’t sure if she should duck, but she was relieved to see he’d pulled out a white slip of paper.
“What movie, please?” the cashier asked.
John gave her the name of the movie they were seeing and she began to ring it up, he stopped her. “Wait! I have a coupon. It’s a two for one.”
Callie blushed a pretty shade of some color she was sure was deep and red. A coupon? Oh, hell…
“No, sir,” the cashier offered politely. “This is only good on the third Tuesday of the month. This is only the second Tuesday.”
John blustered, “It is not! It says right on the front of it that it’s good for a Tuesday. See?” he asked her as he tore the coupon from her hand and pointed at it.
The young girl shook her head. “No, sir, read the fine print.” She pointed to the coupon and said, “See there? It says the third Tuesday of the month. This is the—”
“Second Tuesday, yeah, yeah,” John mocked her youthful voice. “Fine, then go ahead and rape me for two full price tickets. It’s friggen highway robbery,” he complained, his voice getting louder. A ripple in the line behind them made Callie cringe.
Tapping John’s back, she said, “Ahem, John, if you’d like I’ll buy,” Callie offered because people were starting to wonder what the holdup was and frankly, Callie didn’t care if the tickets cost a grand a piece at this point.
John turned to Callie with an odd look on his face. “Would you?”
That caught Callie off guard. She genuinely hadn’t expected him to take her up on it… ”Uh—yeah. Yes, of course I will.” Callie swung her purse off her shoulder and started to pull out her wallet, but John stopped her.
“I was just kidding. Sheesh. Relax I got it,” he said magnanimously as he stuck his hand in his back pocket and produced his wallet.
Peering over his shoulder, Callie asked, “Got any more coupons in there?”
John chuckled and waved her off, but Callie was quite serious. Hey, a deal was a deal, right?
They finally had their tickets and Callie’s throat was parched, but she didn’t dare mention it because buy one get one free John was sure to have a coupon for that too and it was probably only good for the fourth Friday in the month
“Hey, we have a few minutes before we have to go in. Wanna sit and talk?” John asked and didn’t wait for an answer as he strolled toward a sitting area.
Undoubtedly. Surely he had some bargain shopping they might discuss. Flea markets or bust. Moonlight madness maybe? “Sure, let’s grab a table,” Callie muttered under her breath.
They made their way to the small sitting area just outside the theater and Callie sat opposite John in a spray-painted metal chair.
Let the games begin.
Callie folded her hands on the sticky table in front of her and found she was blank. Like not a single thing going on in her head but a good, stiff breeze. She should be firing questions like buckshot in deer hunting season, but for the first time in her writer life, she was at a complete loss. Her head wasn’t into this date. Not even for her column because she was preoccupied with Brian Benson.
John—not Brian—eyed her from across the small table.
Callie eyed him back.
They eyed one another.
This was the slow boat to China date.
Callie smiled at John and tried to think of anything she could relate to him about. Their profiles were a ninety-two percent match according to the site, yet they continued to stare one another down like opponents in a Jell-O wrestling match.
Callie had to wonder what a one-hundred percent match would mean for a date. A whole earth shattering sentence maybe?
“So, John, what is it you do again?”
“I write software.”
Oh. Yawn. “How interesting.” A sudden bolt of an idea hit Callie as she remembered what Brian had asked her in one of their first e-mails. She knew she wasn’t supposed to be thinking of him, but it beat trying to converse with the coupon king. She smiled and leaned forward, her eyes twinkling at John “What’s a secret no one knows about you?”
John responded by smiling back with a wicked grin.
Ooooh. Maybe she’d gone too far? Callie didn’t mean she wanted to know anything lewd, just like a John-ism.
“Know what I really love? Almost more than anything else?” he asked in a whisper, rather covertly as he chuckled all sinister like.
Oh, Lord. “No, what?” Callie asked in a hushed, reluctant tone. Cuz if it was something freaky like a little latex lovin’ she was outta here.
“The K-Mart blue light special. Damn, there’s nothing like it, ya know?”
Callie let out a breath she didn’t know she was holding. “Oh! Oh, yeah,” she nodded her head and fought to keep her mouth vertical. “There’s absolutely nothing to compare,” she agreed.
John reached over and grabbed her hand excitedly, h
is own a rather pasty white. Callie loved men’s hands, especially big, sort of callused ones and John’s were just icky and soft, but she let him hold it anyway. “You like K-Mart?” John squealed, rather like a pig at the call for suey, squeezing her hand tighter.
“Um, sure…” Callie said as she gently pulled her hand from his. What wasn’t to love about K-Mart?
“There’s nothing I love more than a good bargain. I mean, you can’t beat the adrenaline rush of a blue light special, ya know?”
Oh, it went without saying… Callie nodded with a blank expression.
“So what’s a secret no one knows about you?”
It slipped from Callie’s lips before she could stop it. “I’m in therapy,” she cleared her throat and shrugged her shoulders. “It’s not that big of a deal, really, but they are toying with a bi-polar diagnosis…”
John blanched and leaned back in his chair, putting his hands in his lap. “Really? Are—are you on medication?”
Callie grinned. “I’m kidding, John.”
“Oh,” he sputtered on a half-chuckle. “Oh, that’s good to know.”
“Are you saying you have something against those who need medication, John?”
“Oh, Oh, no! I didn’t mean it that way at all. I mean, who doesn’t need medication these days, right?”
“Tell me something, John. You’ve mentioned plenty that you don’t want in a woman. No meds, good teeth. What do you want in a woman? I don’t mean all the garbage you guys put on the site like laid back and easygoing, which by the by are the same thing. I mean beyond the aesthetics. What do you really want? Let’s be honest here, okay?” Callie cocked her head at him, but John remained stoic, his lips pressed into a thin line. “Okay, like obviously frugal is something that turns you on in a big way. So I’m going to assume no Neiman Marcus credit cards for the potential little woman, right?”
John semi-nodded as though he were unsure what he was agreeing to, his dark hair falling over his forehead as he twisted his hands in his lap and looked at her, rather dazed.
“So? What is it that you want? Do you look for other qualities besides the superficial stuff?”
John shrugged. “Sure I do. I want lots of things.”
“Describe things for me, John.” Callie pushed. What did this man want? What did any man want and how long did they want it for? Callie really wanted to know what held their interest for more than a nanosecond. What was a life mate? What made you decide to choose one woman above all others and stick with her? Was it all in the blow-job technique or just that she cooked a helluva lasagna?
“I want—I want someone to go to the K-mart blue light special with me. I want someone who will go antiques hunting, I think…” John shifted in his chair and looked at her uncomfortably.
“That’s not what I mean, John. I want to know what about a woman’s personality makes your heart go zing? There has to be something other than chemistry to seal a relationship. So what kind of woman interests you? Quiet, meek and mild? Vivacious, outgoing? A wild chick or a sedate one?” Callie cupped her chin in her hand and waited patiently for an answer, her eyes boring into his intently.
He visibly gulped. “Is this the writer thing? Are you going to write about me?” John asked on a squeak.
“Only if you’re interesting enough,” Callie shot back.
His shoulders moved up, then down. “I like all of those things, I guess.”
Ah, John was wishy-washy. That quality alone made Callie nuts. Make a decision and stand by it, for fucks sake. John didn’t know what he wanted in a woman anymore than he knew what color underwear he had on at this very moment. He just wanted the woman of his fantasies to appear, probably with a big, fat, buy one get two free coupon in her hand. “Do you like being single, John?”
John’s eyebrow rose. “I wouldn’t be on a date site if I did, would I?”
Callie rolled her eyes. “I don’t know. Some men just want to have a good time. It doesn’t mean they’re seriously looking for a relationship that’s anything more than intimate.”
Johns’ posture became defensive. “Well, I am.”
“Then I would think you’ve got a whole list of things that you want in a woman. So what are they?”
John was flustered as he lifted his wrist and frowned. “Look at the time. We’d better get in there so we can get a good seat.” He scurried out of his chair, clenching his backpack and came around to pull her chair out, cutting off further interrogation.
John didn’t offer Callie anything in the way of refreshment so she stopped at the water fountain on their way down the red carpeted corridor to grab something to drink. John’s eyes on her ass burned a hole in the seat of her jeans as she bent over to drink.
Well, John wasn’t wishy-washy about a little nookie, now was he?
Callie stood and turned around quickly to catch him and he averted his eyes towards a display cutout of an upcoming movie. “Ready?” she asked him, smiling until her teeth ached.
John nodded and held the door to the theater open for her. She found a seat not far from the exit and plunked down, thinking she was glad the previews had begun so they didn’t have to talk anymore. John sat down beside her and put his backpack in his lap.
What the hell was in that, all of his coupons for K-Mart? He behaved like it had a Brinks truck in it. He un-zippered the front pouch and dipped his hand inside, pulling out a sealed baggie, then took the Velcro off the flap of the front and dug some more.
Turning to Callie, John held up the baggie and what looked like a foil pouch, but it was rather dark with the previews showing on the screen. He pushed them under Callie’s nose. “Popcorn? Or how about a juice box? It’s Surfin’ Cooler Punch. I think I even have some licorice sticks left from my last date, if you’d like…”
Callie blew out a breath of disgust and waved her hand in the air to take the big zero. She’d be damned if she’d eat somebody’s leftover licorice.
No sloppy licorice seconds for this girl, thank you kindly…
* * * *
When Callie left John in the parking lot of the movie theater, she did so with a heavy sigh of relief. This was definitely a date that she wouldn’t likely forget anytime soon. John wasn’t just boring, he was a big, gaping yawn with a coupon fetish and no clear thought as to what he wanted in a woman.
Callie drove home and checked the time. She had to hurry if she was going to get there in time for Brian to call. She wanted to change and get comfortable.
You want to lay out on that bed of yours like some slut and bask in the glow that is Brian with those silk pajamas on is what you want to do.
Okay, yes, that’s exactly what she wanted to do. Brian Benson had begun a raging fire of lust in her loins, a tizzy of thoughts in her head and… oh, fine and more lust, just by talking into the phone.
Lust, lust, lust.
It was absurd.
It was pathetic.
It was.
This was something Callie just couldn’t deny and it drew her like a moth to a flame. Maybe she’d lacked male attention for so long that Brian filled that void—and that thought made her even more pathetic.
As she tore off her clothes, she gave some thought to what could possibly come of this. Brian went off to Iraq and Callie wrote a column at a magazine. They were so totally opposite in lifestyle comparisons and that was only the beginning of their differences. Callie wasn’t looking to get married and have children, but was Brian?
Did mercenaries get married?
Did she want someone in her life permanently? Could she share her life with someone, without ruining it with all of the fears she’d been plagued by? When did she come to the conclusion that this might be something more than a dalliance? How did a couple of e-mails and a phone call constitute the beginning of sharing anything? Did Brian even want to share his life with someone?
Maybe he just wanted to play…
Callie wasn’t very good at playing. She liked her toys in the chest, locked safely away so
no one could take them. She wasn’t experienced in dating and one-night stands and flitting from man-to-man.
Hell she didn’t even flit from television show to television show.
Brian made her feel things she didn’t know existed.
That alone scared Callie witless.
She didn’t like the unknown and Brian Benson was as unknown as the Loch Ness Monster. This giddy, heart pounding, exhilarating moment in her life should be enjoyed and Callie couldn’t do anything but pick it apart.
It was only a phone call…It could amount to absolutely nothing, but it felt like something…and Callie didn’t know if she was making it up in her head or it existed for Brian too. Really existed or he was just enjoying the—enjoying the what?
What could all of this time invested really mean on his behalf? What was in this for Brian Benson? The chase? A good lay?
Callie laughed as she threw on her pajamas. If he was thinking Callie could provide that, Brian was sorely mistaken. Callie wasn’t very good at laying much—except maybe tile. Why did a man who lived six hours away spend so much time talking to someone he might never meet? Why had he e-mailed her after Callie had told him thanks, but no thanks?
Callie shook her head. It didn’t make sense to her. Her reaction to this man didn’t make sense to her and she was leery enough of involvement that she was going to look for whatever she could to go wrong, rather than right.
But still, she couldn’t wait to hear Brian’s voice…hear more about his life…hear more of anything he cared to share with her.
Yep—pathetic wasn’t a word she’d use loosely here.
And when the phone rang, she was more pathetic still, because Callie ran for it like she was a linebacker in the Super Bowl. Idiot…
Squaring her shoulders Callie flipped her phone open and said, “Hello?” Again, she answered it as if she had absolutely no clue it was mercenary man. Suave, sophisticated, enlightened…
“Heyyy.”
Of course that all changed at the mere sound of Brian’s voice. Her legs responded by shaking and her heart did its usual nosedive. “Hey, you. How are you?” Callie asked with a smile in her voice.
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