Cha’Rolette turned her head in a panic. Wait, what?
Jonarl stretched out his fist, catching her solidly in the midsection and sending her slamming into the wall, fracturing the marble.
* * *
Gerald laughed one last time, and then they continued walking. “I guess when you are all the same, you don’t end up with a highly developed sense of humor.”
She shook her head. “We are not all the same. Even though we share the same mind, individual bodies will exhibit various levels of strength and aptitude.”
“Wow, so out of all your people, you were chosen to be ambassador. That must be quite an honor for you.”
“Me?”
“Yes, the Trahzi in this body.”
She looked disturbed. “That is not a distinction we normally make, and even if we did...”
The full weight of something occurred to her, and she looked away, suddenly growing as silent and morose as when he first knew her.
Gerald decided not to press the issue, and as they walked through the quad, more students watched them pass.
“I thought he was supposed to be a monk,” a girl said, her arms folded critically as they passed.
“Did you hear? Last night he went to a love motel with the new girl,” her friend spat.
“Why does he need so many girls?”
“He doesn’t deserve any of them!”
Maybe it was the awkward silence between them, or maybe it was to drown out the comments from the onlookers, but as they approached the science building, Trahzi started sharing again.
“We were the first to achieve sentience in our galaxy. We explored its lengths and depths, but found ourselves to be alone. Finally, when the food supplies in our home galaxy began to run low, we traveled to yours.”
“Wait, so you can eat the souls of other things, not just people?”
She nodded. “We can sustain ourselves on plant and animal life, but they provide far less energy. It takes several hundred tons of plant life to provide the same nutrition as the soul from one sentient creature.”
“Interesting.”
“Is it? Seems rather mundane to us. When we arrived in your galaxy, the first other we met was a traveler named Hee’hidzin. The man who would eventually become known as the ArchTyrant. We had no concept of lying at that time, and he took advantage of our naiveté. When he offered to us the chance to cull the weak from the others, a food source more rich and abundant than we had ever known, we were too blinded by our greed to see him for what he truly was.”
There was something sad in her voice. Almost regretful. Normally Gerald would allow the moment to linger, and let her introspect, but this time something was making him feel uncomfortable, and he hastened to change the subject.
“Wow, I’ve never seen a Trahzi starship. They must be incredible.”
Trahzi looked at him strangely. “We have no need for interstellar vessels.”
* * *
Gerald never considered himself to have much of a sixth sense. He was five when he first noticed that T.V.’s stopped working when he stood next to them. This lead him to assume that he had some kind of superpower, and just like on the X-Men, all he needed to do was practice enough to fully realize his ability. This led him to be banned from just about every house in the area. Beyond that though, he really never thought of himself as being prescient.
But something about the way the girls were acting today made him uneasy. They would periodically scowl at each other from the corners of their eyes. He had never been in a real battle before, but something in the air made him feel like one was about to begin.
By the time the lunch bell was about to chime, he had already decided to make a break for the door. When the time came, he found himself quite unable to move. A dozen invisible hands were clamped onto his shoulders and legs, holding him in place.
Almost in unison, the girls came up to his desk, holding parcels behind their backs. Somewhere in Gerald’s mind, a dirge was playing.
“Good afternoon, Geri,” Zurra was the first to greet him. “You know, I really should punish you for making me wait around in your dorm all night.”
What was she doing in your dorm, Dyson? Cha’Rolette glared.
“I’m sure I don’t know.”
You weren’t with her?
“No, I found him sleeping on a park bench this morning,” Trahzi said.
Zurra snapped her fingers. “Ah, the park, I should have known. Well, at least I’ll know where to find you tonight.”
No you will not, Cha’Rolette threatened. Illicit relations are expressly forbidden between students.
“You know, if you keep saying prudish things like that, the woman inside of you is just going to wither up and die.”
Cha’Rolette was stunned.
“Anyway,” Zurra continued, “In the meantime, since you enjoyed the lunch I made you yesterday so much, I thought it would be fun to make you something today as well.”
She laid down a deliciously steaming Tupperware before him, filled with a beautiful looking four-cheese lasagna.
“It looks really delicious, Zuri,” he said sincerely.
Ha! Cha’Rolette scoffed. That sort of thing isn’t suitable for a man attending Central Exeter. He needs more than mere peasant food to sustain him.
She snapped her fingers and three chefs walked into the classroom. Bowing deeply, they set down trays of pure latinum and revealed their artistic creations.
Saffroon-infused calmas, aviar steak with kopi luu’ak black truffles, and Ti’eguanyiin tea, she boasted. The preparation was flawless, the arorma overwhelming, the presentation exquisite.
“Wow, they look incredible,” Gerald praised. “Truly works of art.” He looked at her from the corner of his eye. “It kind of makes me wonder how much I’ll have to pay for them.”
Oh, these chefs are indentured to the Ssykes main family so... no charge this time.
“How very generous of you.”
I know, isn’t it?
She smiled at him, but in his mind she projected a surround-sound raspberry.
Zurra rolled her eyes and reformed herself into a pink copy of Cha’Rolette, except with a long crooked warty nose, looking so much like the wicked witch of the west that Gerald was positive it was intentional.
“He needs more than peasant food to sustain him,” Zurra parroted in a goofy voice.
Wha... I do not look like that! How dare you mock my form! I insist you return to being a blob of goo this instant!
“Whatever you say Dutchess.” The pink copy of Cha’Rolette collapsed, splashing pink slime all over Cha’Rolette’s stylish shoes and splattering across the steak.
“My art is ruined!” the head chef complained.
Oh, you nasty little stain, Cha’Rolette said, hovering up into the air. Now I’ll have to scrape you off like some sort of excrement.
Cha’Rolette placed her shoe against the wall and scraped it down.
“Ow ow ow ow!” Zurra complained as part of her was scraped off against the marble.
“What’s the matter, Cha? I though you enjoyed having people under your heel,” Ilrica commented as Zurra pulled herself back together.
“We have also brought you lunch,” Trahzi announced as she placed a glass flask on his desk with a swirling ball of prismatic energy inside.
“Is... is this what I think it is?” Gerald asked fearfully.
“Yes, it is a living soul. You expressed interest earlier in what they tasted like. This seemed like a good opportunity.”
Gerald swallowed hard. “That’s very... thoughtful, but I can’t eat one of yours, what will you eat?”
“The Alliance provides us only with what we need to sustain ourselves, if we gave you one of ours, we would go into a thirst rage.”
Everyone stared at her.
Thirst rage? Goodness, your race is just a gift to all of us, isn’t it?
Gerald scratched his cheek. “Oh, okay, well I guess that makes... wait, so where did y
ou get this one?”
Trahzi blinked. “Is that really important?”
“I think so, yes. I shudder to think you may have gone out and killed some random person on the street for this.”
“Would it make you feel better if he had it coming?”
“No, it would not. I’m sorry, but I cannot eat this.”
“Why not?”
“Firstly, because I’m pretty sure I lack the physiology. Secondly, while I don’t think it is covered specifically in the scriptures, I’m pretty sure Soeck would take a rather dim view of eating a soul.”
Zurra wiggled her bum. “He rejected your lunch,” she said in a sing-song voice. The other girls snickered at Trahzi.
For a second Trahzi nearly pouted. “We understand,” she said, taking the vial back. Then she disappeared in a flash of fire.
“Just for the record,” Ilrica stated with a smirk, “I brought you something, but I don’t want you to read too much into it, okay? I’m not doing it because I like you or anything...”
Oh, I’m not either, Cha’Rolette affirmed. As class representative it is my job to look out for the new students. This is basically like a welcome gift, nothing more.
“Well, I like him,” Zurra said dotingly.
Ilrica continued. “It’s just that it’s nearly Eeeyster, and I thought you’d like to have your favorite thing.”
“Easter? My favorite thing?”
Ilrica proudly took out a live chicken and plonked it down on the desk in between the other lunches.
“What is this?” Gerald asked.
“I couldn’t find any place that sold them, I guess they went extinct or something, so I went into the genetics lab to whip a new one up for you.”
Isn’t the genetics lab a restricted area?
Ilrica waved if off with her hand.
Gerald looked it over. It looked like a chicken, but it was kind of messed up. Its eyes bulged out in a weird way, and it was the jitteriest little thing he had ever seen, like a kid who had eaten too much sugar.
“Yes, but what is it?”
“This,” Ilrica said proudly, “is a chicken that lays chocolate eggs.”
“A what?”
Settling itself down onto the desk, the chicken made a few little strained grunted noises, then clucked happily and stood up. Beneath it was a brown-shelled egg that smelled faintly of chocolate.
“No way.”
Ilrica beamed. “Yes way, try it.” She handed him a little cup. His curiosity got the better of him and he cracked the egg into the cup. Sure enough, it was a regular liquidly egg like any other, but the yolk was a creamy brown and the whole thing smelled like chocolate.
Gerald could only stare.
“What do you think?” Ilrica bade. “You like it, right?”
“I... honestly don’t know what to say.”
Well, at least she doesn’t expect you to eat the animal raw here in front of us like some sort of savage.
“Pffft savage, you’d get eaten alive by half the things I’ve hunted. A Vordav would pop your tentacles off and use them to floss his teeth.”
They are NOT tentacles, she hissed.
“Well,” Gerald said, looking over the aviar steak, the lasagna, and the raw chocolate egg on his desk. “What you all have done for me today is very nice. Flattering even. But you have put me in a bit of a dilemma. On the one hand, Ga’aval laws require me to avoid food that my body finds delicious, but Kli’lim laws forbid me from denying others the opportunity to give charitably. So we have a bit of a conflict.”
The girls all frowned. Electricity sparked from Zurra’s fist.
“...Luckily, since the fifth scroll places Kli’lim laws on a higher tier, in this case they would take precedent.”
“Your make-believe is way too complicated for me,” Ilrica observed.
Gerald placed his hand over his heart. “I thank you. All of you. What you have done for me is very kind.”
They nodded agreeably, then waited. Gerald was expecting them to walk away, but instead they just stood there, watching him intently.
“So, which one are you going to eat?” Zurra pressed.
“Which one? Does it matter? The gift is in the thoughtfulness.”
“He’s going to eat mine,” Zurra said. “I win.”
“This really isn’t a contest,” Gerald corrected.”
Why would he eat yours? Mine was made by three of the finest chefs in the galaxy, using the highest quality ingredients.
“Yes, but yours had slime on it.”
You did that!
“Ohhh, my masterpiece!” the chef bemoaned.
Gerald tried to be a peacemaker. “Look, I will eventually eat all of them, does it really matter which one I eat right here and now?”
Gerald looked up and saw that it did. Cha’Rolette was confident, but anxious; Zurra was excited, but pouty; Ilrica was aloof, but focused. No matter which one he chose, the other two would have their feelings hurt.
“Girls are so competitive,” he grumbled.
“So, what is your decision?”
“You know what,” he said, leaning back, “I can’t believe I didn’t realize this earlier, but today is the beginning of a holy day. Starting at noon...” he said, checking his wrist, despite the fact that he didn’t wear a watch. “...which was about five minutes ago, I must abstain from and food and water for the next twenty-four hours.”
“Nuh-uh, Sossios Prod was last month, and Andop Nurmeen isn’t till next week,” Zurra corrected.
“Thanks, Zuri,” he grumbled, forgetting that they could all link with Central, although he wasn’t really sure how Zurra was able to do so.
“No problem,” she beamed.
There was a flash of flame and Trahzi reappeared. “Wait, we still have our lunch to present to him.”
“He already turned yours down,” Zurra pouted.
Trahzi held up a foil pouch with a friendly cartoon mascot on the front. “We got this from one of the vending machines.”
* * *
In the girl’s dorm, Trajey looked oddly at a destroyed vending machine, a hole punched clean through the front of it.
It gave off a small spark, startling her.
* * *
Back in the classroom, Trahzi tore open the foil packet and poured the contents out, a kind of beefy stew. She poured half on top of Zurra’a lasagna.
“Are you crazy?! What are you doing?!” Zurra hollered, waving her arms about.
And she poured the other half on top of Cha’Rolette’s steak.
The head chef took off his apron and threw it on the ground. “That’s it, I quit!” he announced. “I will not have my art treated this way!”
Put your apron back on, Cha’Rolette commanded, her ringlets glowing.
“Yes, Duchess,” he said, and obediently complied.
Zurra stamped her foot. “Why did you do that, Trahzi? That was mean!”
Trahzi blinked. “We were not trying to be malicious. This way, no matter which dish he chooses, he will be eating our lunch first.”
“Hey, what about mine?” Ilrica complained.
Trahzi squeezed a few more drops out of the packet on top of the raw egg.
Ilrica smiled in approval. “That’s better.”
All the girls turned back to Gerald, glaring at him expectantly.
“So, which one are you going to eat?” they asked.
A large drop of sweat rolled down Gerald’s cheek. He chuckled nervously. “You know what? They all look so good, I don’t think I can choose.”
Trahzi’s hand erupted in flame. Zurra’s fist sparked with electricity. Cha’Rolette’s ringlets glowed ominously. Ilrica flexed her claws.
“...so I will eat them all!” he announced.
The girls all smiled happily.
Gerald pulled the dishes in close and prepared his utensils. The chicken gave an odd cluck and dropped down to the floor, pecking at Cha’Rolette’s shoes.
Eeew, get that abomination away from
me, she said, floating up into the air.
“Be nice to her, it’s her birthday,” Ilrica scolded.
“You mean like she’s a full year old?” Zurra asked.
“No, like today is the day of her birth, I made her this morning.”
Gerald took a long hard look at the sheer amount of food that was before him. This was easily five times more than he was used to eating at any one sitting. “Oh, Trahzi, do you mind?” he asked, holding up the cup with the raw egg. Trahzi snapped her fingers and in a flash of flame the chocolate egg with stew drizzled on top of it was poached.
“Thank you.”
Gerald templed his hands and said a quick prayer in Stollick. He had some difficulty when he got to the part about being thankful. He grabbed his fork and gawked one last time at how much food there was, then looked up at the girls’ expectant faces.
“Okay, here I go,” he said, readying his fork.
“Which one are you going to eat first?”
“OH, COME ON!”
* * *
Gerald moaned painfully as he leaned back in his chair. He felt like he was going to burst at the seams. As the teacher wrapped up afternoon class, Gerald rubbed his distended stomach painfully.
The students rose and bowed as the teacher left. Cha’Rolette stood as she normally did, but did not bow. Gerald remained in his seat and burped.
As the class gathered their things, Cha’Rolette drifted over auspiciously to Gerald’s desk.
Gerald, I have a gift for you.
“Please, no more food,” he groaned.
She set down a hand-sized domed device. It kind of reminded Gerald of that Simon game he used to play as a kid.
“Oh, you made him lunch AND brought him a gift? Zurra pouted. “That is cheating!”
Gerald looked it over but was careful not to touch it. “What is this?”
Something I had the local R+D whip up. Since you can’t link wirelessly to Central, this can do it for you.
Gerald brightened up. “Oh, you know, that’s actually really thoughtful of you...”
The device rang.
Cha’Rolette looked away. Oh look, you have a call. What are the odds?
Gerald glanced over at her suspiciously. A holographic window appeared in the air with a woman in it.
Gerald’s eyes bugged out. “Mom?”
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