Kharmic Rebound

by Yeager, Aaron

  Gerald looked up at her. “Are you for real?”

  The cashier sighed deeply. “I just love Eldireer. It’s like everything you’ve ever done is wiped clean. Everyone gets a second chance.”

  Gerald furrowed his brow. “Wiped clean? No, that’s not what the festival means. Every mistake you made still happened, and you will live with the consequences for the rest of your life and into the next. However, you can choose to no longer feel bad about it. Accept that those mistakes occurred, and let go of the pain. That is what Eldireer means.”

  “Oh,” she said, a little disappointed.

  “You’re a shrine maiden, surely you’ve read the third scroll.”

  She waved her hand. “Oh, I’m just a part-timer, hired for the festival.”

  “What?”

  She lifted up a soft drink from behind the counter and took a sip. “Oh, yeah, every year the priests hire out all the cutest girls from around here to come work the kiosks. My friends and I make a killing on tips.”

  Gerald couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “Kiosks? But money is forbidden on temple grounds.”

  The shrine maiden shrugged and took another sip.

  There was a spark from behind and Zurra turned around, pouting. “Geri, your stupid thing broke,” she frowned, tossing it into the wastebin.

  “Hey!”

  “That’s okay,” Zurra said, melting out from inside the wedding dress and then reforming herself inside of a jade gown that was somewhere between a kimono and an evening dress. “I can still make good memories today. Tonight they’re having a full fireworks display in the upper atmosphere.”

  “Uh-huh,” Gerald said, standing up and dusting himself off.

  “The only problem is that I don’t have anyone to watch it with,” she said, slinking up close to him.

  Gerald closed his eyes and folded his arms. “I see.”

  She leaned up against him, twirling her shoulder in a sultry fashion. “It’s no fun to watch fireworks by yourself. I really don’t want to be alone.”

  “I understand.”

  “And by I don’t have anyone to go with, I mean, I don’t have anybody to go with.”

  “That makes sense.”

  Zurra stamped her foot. “Hey!”

  Gerald threw out his hands. “Well, what am I supposed to say?”

  “You jerk, you’re supposed to invite me!”

  “You just tried to shanghai me into a wedding against my will!”

  “Of course I did! You’re my bride! We were promised to one another! We’re like two peas in a basket under a bushel!”

  “That’s not even a thing!”

  The shrine maiden fanned herself with her hand. “Oh my, such passion.”

  It was then that Trahzi parted the beaded doorway and looked in. “We found them,” she announced, and then entered along with Cha’Rolette and Ilrica.

  J-just what are you two doing together? Cha’Rolette asked, aghast at Zurra’s slinky dress.

  “She is wearing clothes for the first time,” Trahzi observed.

  Don’t tell me you two have been on a date behind our backs!

  “Oh no,” Gerald sighed. “That would be impossible.”

  Zurra puffed out her cheeks, sulking.

  Cha’Rolette floated over and took Gerald by the elbow. In that case, you are coming with us.

  “Why, do you want a turn dating him?” Ilrica teased.

  Cha’Rolette blushed heavily. O-of course not. As class representative, I must keep young Mr. Dyson here out of trouble while we are here so he doesn’t embarrass the school’s image.

  “We would think his performance on the last test would be a worse embarrassment to the school,” Trahzi pointed out.

  She’s got a good point, it was multiple choice. Even if you had just guessed randomly you would have gotten around 25 percent.

  “Since when does anything in Dyson’s life follow the odds?”

  “Guessing would have dishonest,” Gerald explained. “I may have only scored five percent, but I earned that five percent.”

  You earned a failing grade... congratulations.

  “Hey, at least he’s making the rest of us look better,” Ilrica kidded.

  No, he’s making you look better, little miss twenty-six percent. You nearly seem a decent student compared to him.

  Ilrica breathed on her claws and rubbed them against her fur to polish them up. “Beat the odds,” she boasted.

  “Well, I’m not letting you have him, slinky-head,” Zurra stated, grabbing his other elbow. “If he’s going, then I am going.”

  Slinky head? How dare you, you little pile of pink vomit!

  Zurra and Cha’Rolette glared at each other. Sparks of electricity flew between them.

  Trahzi stepped up and placed her red hand on his head. “We will also go. Gerald has not given us a lesson in some time.”

  The other three girls looked at Ilrica.

  “Hey, you ladies can have him,” Ilrica said coolly, linking her fingers behind her head. “I’ll just tag along to watch the drama unfold.”

  Gerald sighed and gave in to his fate as the four girls lead him out into the inner temple plaza. What had once been a beautiful and tranquil place of prayer and communion was now, to Gerald’s eyes, in utter ruin. Lines of vendors selling overpriced trinkets and baubles lined the steps to the inner sanctum. The eternal flame had been completely removed and paved over, making room for a landing pad so the buses could park directly inside the temple grounds. Crowds of tourists mobbed the walkways, laughing and shouting. The place was packed to overflowing. Wrappers and spilled food littered the ground everywhere. All of the donation urns had been removed; in their place was a wet bar selling overpriced spirits from all corners of the Alliance. Groups of buzzed college students challenged each other to drinking contests while the part-time shrine maidens cheered them on and offered to make out with the winners. Cadbury squawked in terror as she dodged about, feathers flying as she tried to keep from being stepped on by thoughtless pedestrians.

  “What... what is this?” Gerald asked looking around.

  “Hey, this is a lot different than you said it was going to be on the way here,” Ilrica said, slapping him on the shoulder. “If I knew religion was this much fun I’d have converted years ago.”

  Gerald was appalled.

  “There’s a gambling tent over there. Can we smoke here too?” Ilrica wondered.

  “It would seem so,” Trahzi said, picking up a blue cigar from a nearby kiosk. “These even have the official seal of Soeck on them.”

  Ilrica snagged it from her. “Nice, this is pure spice! These monks sure know how to live!” She flipped it over. “For fifteen credits? Greedy strognars!”

  “No outside food or drink is allowed inside the temple during the festival,” the shrine maiden at the kiosk said sweetly.

  Gerald staggered, trying to keep his balance. “But... but... where are the priests teaching in the courtyard?”

  Ilrica tapped a neon sign pointing to the inner sanctum. “Right here. Private tutoring on the scrolls of Soeck, two-hundred credits a session.”

  “No! The word must be preached for free or not at all... where are the musicians, the choir?”

  Trahzi picked up an ornate DVC from a rack. “The complete hymn collection, downloadable for one-half off, today only, twenty nine-credits.”

  Gerald was dumbfounded. “No, no, this is wrong, this is all wrong. What is this?” He ran over to a kiosk. “Blessed scented candles, twenty credits each? We don’t even believe in blessed candles!”

  “At least they’re scented. Everybody likes jasmine.”

  “Ooh look, this little statue of Soeck has a secret compartment in it to hide your spice in,” Zurra said excitedly as she held it aloft.

  Gerald turned to Cha’Rolette in panic. “I... don’t understand.”

  Cha’Rolette took out her handkerchief and daintily blew her nose to head off a sneeze. It’s like any other business. You build
up and brand name, create brand loyalty, then you use that loyalty to drive sales. The smaller Soeckian missions that do charity work, like the one you grew up in, are basically like the advertising and P.R. wing of a corporation. Then the big missions like this one cash in on all of that goodwill.

  “A portion of all purchases made during the festival will go towards helping the poor children on Rujali Grun,” a shrine maiden shared cheerfully as she helped Tomar with his purchases.

  Uh huh, and how big is that portion? The legal minimum of two percent I’d wager. Cha’Rolette grabbed a nearby amulet and held it up. I got to hand it to them, forty-five credits for this good luck charm, probably costs them less than a credit to make a thousand of them. You have to admire that kind of markup.

  Gerald balled his fists. “No, this is wrong and I’m going to fix this. I’m going to have a word with the head priest.”

  You’re going to get us kicked out.

  Gerald ran off, full of purpose. Cadbury wobbled off loyally after him. He was so passionate that none of the girls had the heart to stop him.

  He’ll be back, Cha’Rolette said, setting the amulet back on the rack.

  “What are these?” Trahzi asked, picking up a long strip of parchment with ancient writing up and down both sides. The paper burst into flames in her grip, and she quickly set it down and stamped it out.

  “We are sorry,” she said, somewhat embarrassed.

  “Oh, these are prayer scrolls,” the shrine maiden said, showing off a display full of them. The priests have already blessed them. You write your name at the bottom and your wish will come true.”

  “Such superstitious nonsense,” Ilrica spat.

  Is this your only product? Cha’Rolette critiqued, looking the booth over. You really might want to diversify your inventory, or at least charge an entry fee that can be divided amongst the vendors.

  “Oh, we do just fine as it is,” the shrine maiden said knowingly.

  “This is really really dumb,” Zurra complained, looking around in boredom.

  “...and on this line you write the name of the person you love,” the shrine maiden continued with a wise and wicked grin.

  The four girls snapped to attention. “What now?”

  The maiden nodded purposely. “These are love sutras. Any couple who have their romance blessed by Soeck during Eldireer are sure to fall deeply in love with each other.”

  There was a moment of complete silence.

  “Well, it’s just harmless fun,” Ilrica justified, taking out her wallet.

  “What could it hurt?” Zurra speculated, reaching into her own thigh and rooting around for some credits.

  “They’re always telling us to be tolerant of other people’s beliefs,” Trahzi reasoned, grabbing another sutra.

  “I’ll take two,” Ilrica bid, glancing over at Zurra.

  “Ooh, give me three,” Zurra outbid, glancing back competitively.

  Cha’Rolette slammed her ID card down on the table. I’ll take the lot, your entire stock.

  The other girls all looked at her in amazement.

  What? Charity donations are tax-deductible.

  The shrine maiden clapped her hands happily. “Like I said, we do just fine.”

  “That’s not the point, you can’t hog them all,” Ilrica griped.

  Why not? It’s not like they can’t make more.

  “If you buy them all then we can’t have any,” Zurra complained.

  Cha’Rolette’s eyes twinkled impishly. Exactly.

  “Oh, that is unfair!”

  “You cannot do that to us. We wish to participate as well,” Trahzi protested.

  “Ha!” Ilrica said, snatching up a sutra and slamming some credit chips down. “You’re too late, I already got one.”

  Hey! Put that back, you sack of teeth!

  Ilrica leapt high into the air, landing atop the gambling tent at the far end of the plaza. “First come, first serve, green bean!” She stuck out her tongue, tugged on her eyelid, and disappeared.

  Cha’Rolette pointed at the shrine maiden. I insist that you stop her. If you don’t get that back for me, the deal is off and I won’t buy any.

  “Uh...” the shrine maiden stammered, unsure of what to do.

  Zurra threw down some chips and grabbed one as well. “I got one too,” she squeaked, turning into a ball and rolling away as fast as she could, knocking over several people as she went.

  “So have we,” Trahzi said, placing down some chips.

  Hey! Stop that! Cha’Rolette tried to snatch it back, but Trahzi disappeared in a blast of fire, frightening the nearby patrons.

  Come baaaaa.... Cha’Rolette’s eyes twitched in irritation. A sneeze was coming. She reached for her handkerchief, but didn’t get it out in time. She gave off a massive sneeze into her own hands, and the amber statue next to her exploded.

  The whole crowd turned to look at her in surprise. The shrine maiden sat in shock, bits of rock in her hair and on her shoulders.

  Cha’Rolette stood there in shame, her hands still covering her mouth from the boorish sneeze.

  Ahem. Pardon me, I’m going to just go... freshen up.

  She flew away, nearly dying of embarrassment.

  * * *

  Zurra stood before the jewel-encrusted well of souls, and looked down into the cool clean water far below. She touched the talisman to her forehead and wished as hard as she could, so hard that when she pulled it away it left an impression on her brow.

  “Please let that dummy notice how I feel,” came a voice from next to her. Zurra looked over and saw Trajey from class 2-B standing there, holding a talisman of her own.

  “Don’t tell me you’re after Dyson too,” Zurra asked cautiously.

  “The human? No, yuck. I’m here for Tomar.”

  “Followed him all the way out on his class, trip, eh?”

  Trajey nodded bashfully.

  “I respect that level of stalking. Well, you’re not a rival, so we might as well chant together. It might increase our chances.”

  Trajey brightened up. “You think so?”

  Zurra nodded optimistically, and they both put the talismans back against their foreheads.

  “Please bless that dummy so he will notice how I feel,” they said in unison, then dropped them down into the waters below.

  They looked at each other hopefully, then turned to the priestess who was overseeing the ceremony.

  “So, is that everything?”

  The bored priestess held out a tray full of dead bugs. “Now, you take a bite out the kussatte.”

  The two girls looked at each other, unsure. But fortifying their resolve, they each grabbed a black bug, closed their eyes, and took a bite.

  “...but only if you want to,” the priestess clarified.

  Trajey spit out the bite and jumped around, shaking her hands in girlish fright. Zurra spit out the mouthful and stretched out her tongue long and wide, wiping it back and forth against the rocks, trying to scrape off every particle of residue.

  “You...” Trajey gagged, “... you mean that wasn’t actually part of the ceremony?”

  The priestess burped. “I was just trying to be polite. I had a bunch of extras.”

  * * *

  Cha’Rolette found Gerald sitting on a grassy hill above the ziggurat, next to a sign that said, ‘Please do not throw rocks into the pond’ in standard. Cadbury lay curled in his lap, snoring happily.

  I take it you spoke with the high priest.

  Gerald tossed a rock into the pond, scattering the fish. “Yup.”

  Her eyes flashed for a moment. And I take it he quoted to you the eleventh scroll, third stanza, which states that charity cannot be tainted by its source. That no matter who gives it, a gift to help others must be accepted. By making the temple more welcoming and accessible to the common folk, you increase the opportunities to give, increase the donations given, and increase the number of people helped.

  Gerald was impressed. “You’ve read the scroll
s.”

  She nodded.

  “When?”

  Just now.

  “But how did... oh, right.”

  He threw another rock in the pond. “I don’t think I’m ever going to get used to that.”

  She came to a rest alongside him and sneezed daintily into her handkerchief, causing a nearby rock to zip off into the distance.

  “You okay?”

  She waved her hand. Just a little sniffle. Look, Gerald, I know it bothers you that you can’t link to Central, but you need to know that it’s all just data. It doesn’t do a thing for you if you don’t know how to apply it, and that wisdom comes from experience, same as always.

  “Well, tell that to the banks. No one will hire a person who can’t link to Central. You know that.”

  Yes, I know that. I just want you to know that it doesn’t mean you can’t make a difference.

  She got real quiet for a moment. You might laugh at me, but I think you’re one of the wisest people I’d ever met. Everyone else just restates things they have downloaded. You observe, you process, you understand. You have a wisdom I have never seen before.

  He looked at her, surprised.

  ...outside of the people in my family, of course.

  “Of course. The Ssykes family employs only the wisest and brightest,” he quoted.

  Ah, so you finally realized what our family crest stands for.

  “Yeah, it’s taking a while, but I’m starting to get the hang of standard.” He threw another rock, then leaned back against the sign.

  She chuckled. Yep, you’re practically fluent.

  Gerald liked it when she was like this. When they were alone, she acted like herself, instead of putting on the mask of the duchess. Or at least, that is what he assumed was happening. It was perfectly possible that this was the act and the duchess was the real Cha’Rolette, but this felt right, so this is what he trusted.

  Cha’Rolette sneezed again into her handkerchief so loudly this time that one of the tree-sized mushrooms nearby exploded into a fleshy mess.

  Gerald brushed some smoldering bits off of his shoulder. “Are you really sure you are okay?”

  It’s fine, nothing dangerous.

  “Yeah, but what if I had been standing where that mushroom had been?

  She put her handkerchief away and shrugged. I dunno.