About this Book
* * *
What do you call a very small valentine?
A valentiny!
* * *
Make your friends giggle with silly and fun jokes! Check out all the holiday jokes, limericks, riddles, knock-knock jokes, and tongue twisters in this book!
About the Author
Felicia Lowenstein Niven is a professional freelance author who enjoys writing for young people. She has been published in many magazines and also has a teaching degree for grades K–8.
CONTENTS
Cover
About this Book
Title Page
* * *
What's So Funny?
What is a joke?
What is a limerick?
What is a riddle?
What is a knock-knock joke?
What is a tongue twister?
Chapter 1: New Year's Eve/Day
DID YOU KNOW?
FUN FACTS
Chapter 2: Valentine's Day
DID YOU KNOW?
FUN FACTS
Chapter 3: St. Patrick's Day
DID YOU KNOW?
FUN FACTS
Chapter 4: Arbor Day/Earth Day
DID YOU KNOW?
FUN FACTS
Chapter 5: Easter and Passover
DID YOU KNOW?
FUN FACTS
Chapter 6: Patriotic Holidays
DID YOU KNOW?
FUN FACTS
Chapter 7: Halloween
FUN FACTS
Chapter 8: Thanksgiving
DID YOU KNOW?
FUN FACTS
Chapter 9: Hanukkah and Kwanzaa
FUN FACTS
FUN FACTS
Chapter 10: Christmas
FUN FACTS
* * *
Try This Fun(ny) Project!
Read More
Internet Addresses
Index
Note to Our Readers
Copyright
More Books from Enslow
What’s So Funny?
* * *
What is a joke?
A joke is a question or story that has a punch line with a twist in it. It’s the twist that makes the joke funny.
* * *
What is a limerick?
Limericks are five-line verses that have a definite pattern. The first two and last lines rhyme and the third and fourth lines rhyme. Listen to this limerick and hear the beat:
An artistic young man named Bo.
To an art class decided to go.
The teacher said, “not right.
Your page is all white.”
Bo said, “It’s a polar bear in the snow.”
* * *
What is a riddle?
Riddles can be tricky. Riddles, like jokes, ask questions. A riddle is something that you have to figure out. It makes us think. When someone asks, “Why do dogs run in circles?” you have to think about the answer, which is: “Because it’s hard to run in squares.”
* * *
What is a knock-knock joke?
Knock knock jokes are back-and-forth questions and answers. You start by saying: “Knock, knock!” Someone answers: “Who’s there?” Then you reply, a friend answers, and you end it. Here’s an example:
Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Alpaca.
Alpaca who?
Alpaca the trunk, you pack-a the suitcase.
These type of knock knock jokes are called puns or play on words.
* * *
What is a tongue twister?
Tongue twisters all have a bit of music in them. Just listen to yourself as you say, “A big brown cow bought a bunch of bananas.” Hear the rhythm in that tongue twister? It’s fun to say even though you will feel like your tongue is tied up—especially if you say it very fast.
Each time you see slanted text, like this sentence, it is a tongue twister.
Try saying it five times fast!
* * *
1
New Year's Eve/Day
* * *
What does the winner of the New Year's Day marathon lose?
His breath!
* * *
Why did the New Year's guest sit on a clock?
Because he wanted to be on time!
* * *
What did the digital watch say to the grandfather clock?
Look pop, no hands!
* * *
Knock, Knock!
Who's there?
Dishes.
Dishes who?
Dishes New Year's Eve, so get ready!
* * *
What's at the end of New Year's Eve?
The letter E
* * *
Boom! is the sound that you hear,
It tells you that fireworks are near.
The ball's going to drop,
And the cheering won't stop
For now, it's the first of the year!
* * *
Midnight means many merry merrymakers.
* * *
Calendar countdown concludes with confetti!
* * *
Knock, Knock!
Who's there?
Abbott.
Abbott who?
Abbott time you made your New Year's resolution, isn't it?
* * *
Yesterday always comes before today–or does it? Where is the place where yesterday follows today?
In the dictionary
* * *
As we dance away the night,
I can see a display of light.
A celebration
Across the nation
Oh, what a beautiful sight.
* * *
DID YOU KNOW?
A joke is something that makes people laugh.
A riddle gives you clues. You guess the answer. Riddles can really make you think!
IT'S TRUE.
* * *
FUN FACTS
Happy New Year! That greeting has been said for 4,000 years. It began back in Babylon. Then, New Year's parties were held in spring. They lasted for eleven days!
Times Square in New York City is a nice place for New Year's Eve. Thousands of people crowd together. They count down the final seconds of the year as a ball drops. It started in 1907. Back then, the ball was made of iron and wood. It had a hundred lightbulbs. It measured five feet and weighed 700 pounds. Today's ball is made of crystal. A computer controls it.
IT'S TRUE.
2
Valentine's Day
* * *
What do you call a very small valentine?
A valentiny!
* * *
What did the paper clip say to the magnet?
"I find you very attractive."
* * *
What did the stamp say to the envelope?
Stick with me and we'll go places!
* * *
There once was a woman named Mandy
Who thought Valentine's was just dandy.
Every person she'd meet
Said she was so sweet
That she could have been named Cotton Candy!
* * *
Knock, Knock!
Who's there?
Howard.
Howard who?
Howard you like a great big kiss?
* * *
Kathy's crunchy candy couldn't compare to Christy's caramel creams.
* * *
Loyal Leo longed to be lucky in love.
* * *
What letter adds value to a pear (and would be a good gift for Valentine's Day)?
The letter "L" makes pear into
a pearl.
* * *
What travels around the world but stays in one corner?
A stamp
* * *
Knock, Knock!
Who's there?
Olive.
Olive who?
Olive you!
* * *
There once was a fellow named Art
Who was handsome, athletic, and smart.
A natural gourmet,
On Valentine's Day,
He made ham in the shape of a heart.
* * *
DID YOU KNOW?
A limerick is a funny poem that rhymes. Lines 1, 2 and 5 rhyme one way. Lines 3 and 4 rhyme another.
A tongue twister is a group of words with similar sounds. But try to say them fast. It's very hard to do.
IT'S TRUE.
* * *
FUN FACTS
There are about one billion Valentine cards sent each year! Teachers get the most. Children also get a lot. Valentines are given to boyfriends and girlfriends. They go to husbands and wives. Pets even get them!
Watch out for Cupid! He might shoot you with a magical arrow. Of course, that's just a fun story. The Romans created Cupid. He is a boy with wings. He is the son of Venus, the goddess of love. Cupid's arrows made people fall in love. You will find Cupid on Valentine's cards and decorations. Just remember to duck. He might be pointing an arrow at you!
IT'S TRUE.
3
St. Patrick's Day
* * *
Why can't you borrow money from a leprechaun?
Because they're always a little short!
* * *
There once was a leprechaun named Lou
Who ate all the rest of the stew.
But the others didn't mind,
They already had dined,
On a huge St. Pat's barbecue!
* * *
Knock, Knock!
Who's there?
Irish.
Irish who?
Irish you a happy St. Patrick's Day!
* * *
Where would you find a leprechaun baseball team?
In the Little League!
* * *
Knock, Knock!
Who's there?
Warren.
Warren who?
Warren anything green today?
* * *
What would you get if you crossed a dog with an Irish instrument?
A bagpup!
* * *
Shy Seamus shapes shiny shillelaghs.
* * *
Did you see the Irish marching band?
There's nothing around that's so grand.
The drums are so loud,
They draw a great crowd.
You can hear them all over the land.
* * *
What is the best month for a parade?
March
* * *
Lucky leprechaun Larry likes lemon lollipops.
* * *
What do you get if you cross poison ivy with a four-leaf clover?
A rash of good luck!
* * *
DID YOU KNOW?
Each holiday has its customs or traditions. These are the things that you do each time you celebrate. On St. Patrick's Day, one custom is to wear green. Another is to eat corned beef and cabbage.
IT'S TRUE.
* * *
FUN FACTS
Shamrocks, or clovers, are fun on St. Patrick's Day. Sometimes they are lucky, too! Maybe you have a lucky clover. That's a clover with four leaves. Some clovers have more. But most clovers have three. It's hard to find the ones with more. You might have to look through ten thousand ordinary ones to find a lucky four-leaf clover!
IT'S TRUE.
4
Arbor Day/Earth Day
* * *
Did you hear the one about Arbor Day?
It'll leaf you laughing!
* * *
How can you tell a tree is a dogwood?
By its bark
* * *
Grand gazelles graze on growing grass.
* * *
What is as big as a tree but weighs nothing at all?
The shadow of a tree
* * *
An evergreen tropical tree
Made of chocolate? I'm bouncing with glee!
It comes from it? Wow–
So I plant this cacao,
And there's even more chocolate for me?
* * *
Where can you find an ocean without water?
On a map
* * *
There once was a man named Gene
Who had an idea so keen
"I just have to say
We should have a whole day
Dedicated to making Earth green!"
* * *
Knock, Knock!
Who's there?
Leaf.
Leaf who?
Leaf me alone!
* * *
Why was the pine tree sent to its room?
Because it was being knotty!
* * *
How does Mother Earth fish?
With North and South Poles!
* * *
Water winds westward where wild wildebeests wander.
* * *
Knock, Knock!
Who's there?
Ivanna.
Ivanna who?
Ivanna help the Earth, don't you?
* * *
DID YOU KNOW?
Arbor Day celebrates trees. Earth Day reminds us we must care for the environment.
IT'S TRUE.
* * *
FUN FACTS
You'll find the world's tallest tree in California. It is a giant redwood. It measures 379.1 feet. That is like a football field going straight up in the air. Only, the tree is a little longer. Another tall tree is the Ada tree of Australia. It reaches about 236 feet. Its roots like to stretch out. They can take up more than an acre of space.
IT'S TRUE.
5
Easter and Passover
* * *
Why do we paint Easter eggs?
Because it's easier than trying to wallpaper them!
* * *
Knock, Knock!
Who's there?
Hedda.
Hedda who?
Hedda marshmallow egg for you, but I ate it!
* * *
What ends the Passover Seder?
The letter R!
* * *
Knock, Knock!
Who's there?
Howard.
Howard who?
Howard you'd like some matzo?
* * *
How many Easter eggs can you put in an empty basket?
Only one–after that it's not empty any more!
* * *
For Passover, I've given up bread.
That's something that some people dread.
But I don't mind one bit,
For you see, this is it.
I get lots of chocolate instead!
* * *
There was a young bunny named Jean
Who delivered her goodies unseen.
'Til the mailman one day
Found the spot where she lay
And collected her eggs, all fourteen.
* * *
How does the Easter Bunny keep his fur neat?
With a hare brush!
* * *
Many mornings, mother mixed matzo meal.
* * *
What kind of cheese makes the best Matzo pizza?
Matzo-rella!
* * *
Ha–Ha Holiday Jokes to Tickle Your Funny Bone Page 1
