by M. S. Parker
“Cheyenne!”
The joy in his voice as he yelled made me smile. When his and Chey’s mother died, Austin had been around the same age Blake had been when we lost our parents. While Cheyenne was ten times more affectionate with her brother than my grandfather had ever been with my brothers or me, I knew how fortunate we’d been to have a safe place to grow up, with more than enough of everything.
That was the life I wanted to give Cheyenne and Austin. I’d been worried at first that they wouldn’t want to move across the country to join me in Boston, but they’d both been excited for a new start, especially once Estrada had agreed to join us. They’d been with me for less than a year, and I already couldn’t imagine my life without them.
“Are you all tucked in?” Cheyenne asked as she made a shooing motion at me.
“Are you saying I stink?” I mouthed the words as Austin answered her question.
She stuck out her tongue, and I winked before disappearing into the bathroom. I knew she’d be a while, but I didn’t bother with a shower. I enjoyed our bedtime ritual with Austin almost as much as they did. The first couple nights, I’d felt like an interloper on private family time, but then Austin had asked me to read Hop on Pop, and every night since then, the three of us would spend at least a few minutes all together.
I knew that some people thought I was nuts, getting involved with a woman eight years younger than me who had a kid, even if he wasn’t her biological son, but there’d never been a choice for me. Even if I hadn’t wanted to admit it right away, I’d been hers from the first moment I’d seen her. They were my family.
Inevitably, my thoughts went to the one Christmas present I hadn’t put in the box to go under the tree tomorrow. Instead, it was tucked into a pair of my socks where I knew Chey wouldn’t accidentally find it. If I’d bought her earrings, they could go under the tree with everything else. Even though it was already wrapped, no one would mistake it for anything but a ring box, especially since I’d hidden it.
My brothers wouldn’t tell me that I was going too fast, not with Jax and Syll already being married, but I didn’t know if Cheyenne would think it was too fast. She was still adjusting to the move and to settling into a normal routine. She’d spent so much of her life having to be the parent to both her brother and her mother, working two jobs, fending off all sorts of perverts, being exposed to things that made me wish her mother was still alive so I could put her behind bars for what she’d done to her kids.
The worst part was, I didn’t know how to have the conversation that would tell me if she was in the same place as I was. How was I supposed to find out if she wanted things to stay the way they were for a while or if she’d see a proposal the same way I did. I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her, and I didn’t doubt that she loved me. I just didn’t know, if I got out that box and asked her the question, if she’d tell me no, or worse, say yes and not mean it.
I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t ask her to marry me if I wasn’t one hundred percent positive that she’d say yes.
Fourteen
Cheyenne
Night, December 23rd, Present Day
Hudson Valley, New York
For the hundredth time today, I told myself not to feel guilty. Estrada was part of the family. Austin spending the holiday with her was no different than kids who stayed with their grandparents or aunts and uncles while their parents had some alone time. Without any other known family on my side, and only Slade’s brothers on his side, Austin didn’t have much in the way of extended family, and neither did Estrada.
She’d cried when I’d told her Austin and I were moving to Boston, then cried even harder when I asked her to come with us. Since the move, Austin had started calling her Bobe, which he had solemnly explained to me meant that she was his granny. Apparently, one of the other little boys in the complex where we all lived called his grandmother Bobe, and when Austin first realized that he didn’t have grandparents, he’d announced that Estrada would now be his grandmother. He’d even taken her to grandparent day at his school.
It was strange. The biggest adjustment I’d had to make in accepting Slade’s invitation to move to Boston with him hadn’t been the drastic Texas to Massachusetts differences, or the change in employment. It’d been realizing that I wasn’t doing this alone anymore. Back in Texas, I’d needed babysitters for Austin while I worked, and even though I’d loved Estrada, I’d never felt comfortable assuming too much of her. When she’d agreed to uproot her life, it changed things for me. For the first time in my life, I had a family.
“How far did you get before he fell asleep?” Slade asked as he emerged from the bathroom.
I ignored the question and continued to ogle my boyfriend. He usually slept in just cotton or flannel pants, and I couldn’t even count the number of times I’d seen him without a shirt, but he still took my breath away.
Beautiful inside and out, it was his outside I currently admired. More than a foot taller than my own five-one frame, he had the lean sort of body that came with genetics as well as conditioning. Unlike a lot of men who had muscles when they were younger, he’d maintained his physique from the army.
My gaze traced the tattoo on his chest. A cross over his heart with his parents and sister’s initials on the crossbeam and the date of their death underneath. From the top of the cross, a chain went up and over his shoulder where I knew it eventually connected to a pair of dog tags on his shoulder blades. Around the dog tags was the back tattoo I’d designed for him, one that matched the alterations I’d had done to my own.
A tree losing its leaves had covered my entire back since I was eighteen. Shortly after Syll and Jax’s wedding, I’d added to it. New leaves growing on the branches, each of them bearing a name of one of my new family members, with plenty of room to add more. I knew a lot of people didn’t think it was a good idea to put someone’s name on their body, but for me, that tattoo was made to change and adapt, to remind me of the ways my life had changed, the ways it still could.
A similar tree was on Slade’s back, but instead of falling leaves, I’d incorporated his dog tags and added new ones, including one that had my name, and one for Austin. Like my design, there was plenty of room for more additions, a thought that made my stomach flutter.
It was hard to tell myself that we were moving too fast when Jax and Syll were already married, and they’d known each other only a little longer than Slade and I had. The Hunter brothers had more in common than pretty blue eyes and an amazing bone structure. When they fell, they fell hard and didn’t waste any time. Well, once they finally admitted the truth to themselves.
“Are you okay?” Slade asked. “You’ve been staring at me for like two minutes and not saying a word.” His eyes widened with alarm. “Is Austin okay?”
“He’s great,” I said quickly. Color flooded my cheeks. “I was just admiring you. You’re sort of hot, you know?”
One dark eyebrow went up. “Only sort of?”
“We both know you’re completely aware of how gorgeous you are.”
He put his hand on his chest, a look of mock hurt on his face. “Are you saying that I’m vain?”
When he started to hum that oldies song, “You’re So Vain,” I couldn’t stop myself from laughing. Then he added in a little shimmy that should’ve looked stupid, but all I could think was how much I wanted to lick down those deep v-grooves at his hips, and that got me laughing even harder even as it turned me on.
That was Slade. The only man who’d ever done either of those things for me.
“That’s better,” he said with a smile. “I like hearing you laugh.”
“Laughter is good,” I agreed. “Especially after a night like tonight.” I sat up and held out a hand to him. “Are you okay?”
He clasped my fingers and brushed a kiss over my knuckles. “I am. It’s strange, talking to my brothers like this, but it’s good too. I think this was the sort of thing our grandfather had wanted for us when he put the stipulation in h
is will that we had to make amends with each other.”
“When was the last time all four of you spent Christmas together?”
While he thought, he dropped my hand and walked around to the other side of the bed. “Three or four years, I think. I’m not even entirely sure. After Grandma Olive died, holidays pretty much blurred together.”
“The Christmas after Austin turned three, our mom went out all day. She didn’t say where or when she’d be back, so we had our own celebration. Estrada brought us some cookies she’d made, and we exchanged presents. Nothing big or expensive, but they were special. He’d drawn me some pictures, and I’d managed to hide some money from Mom to buy him a little stuffed animal. It was a great day.” I pulled aside the blankets and sheets for him. “I’m sorry it’s been so long since you had a day like that.”
“It brought me to you and Austin,” Slade said as he settled next to me. “That’s all I need.”
Now it was my turn to try to lighten the mood. “Does that mean you don’t want your early present?”
His entire face lit up at my words, and for a few seconds, I could see what he must’ve looked like when he was Austin’s age, before he’d lost so much.
I tossed the blankets down to my feet, revealing the lingerie I’d bought and smuggled into the cabin in my toiletries bag. It hadn’t been difficult considering how little material there was. Sheer red lace trimmed with white fur made up the tiny thong and bra set, but it was the fur cuffs around my wrists that captured Slade’s attention…until I stretched my arms over my head to draw attention to the rest of Slade’s present.
“Chey.” My nickname came out strangled.
“Don’t worry,” I addressed the one thing that I knew could keep him from enjoying what I’d done for him. “I had a woman do it.”
The gold hoops in my nipples gleamed underneath the lace, as did the thin chain that connected them. I’d gotten them done a week ago and keeping them hidden from Slade hadn’t been easy. They’d have to come out for a while soon enough, but there was no reason we couldn’t enjoy them while we were here.
Slade was still staring when I looked up at him, and a flicker of nervousness cut through my confidence. “Say something.”
He went up on his knees and moved to straddle my waist. “Fucking perfect.” Suddenly, he looked at me, eyes narrowing. “Is this why you’ve been keeping your shirt on the last few days?”
I licked my lips. “I wanted them to be healed enough that you could…play with them while we were here.”
Slade’s eyes were dark as he slid his hands up to cover my breasts. The hoops pressed against his palms, and I sucked in a breath, my back arching up into his touch. When I’d gotten them done, I hadn’t realized why my nipples were already becoming more sensitive, but either way, I knew I’d enjoy what Slade would do with them. I always loved the things he did to me.
It had been strange to realize that I had a submissiveness to me that he, as a Dominant, had responded to, but his sadistic streak had been one of those things that’d made sense once I thought about it. I’d never even realized my own masochistic tendencies until he came into my life. Not damaging or extreme pain, but more than a lot of people probably would be comfortable with.
He leaned down and used his teeth to undo the bow that had been keeping the bra closed. The expression on his face as he peeled back the flimsy material was something close to reverence.
I kept as still as I could as his fingers explored, first the chain, and then the hoops, his touch feather-light. My hands curled into fists at the teasing touch, and a shiver ran down my spine. How could my entire body feel like it was on fire when we’d just barely started?
He tugged on the chain, sending jolts of pain into my nipples, and then straight down to my pussy. I whimpered and squirmed, knowing both would turn him on even more. He made a low sound in the back of his throat, then flicked one of the hoops.
“Fuck!” My entire body jerked.
“Best Christmas present ever,” he said as he lowered his head to take my mouth. His fingers continued plucking and twisting the hoops, changing rhythm and force as he gauged my reactions.
He always did that. Read my body. Read my soul.
I just hoped he’d be distracted enough by my present that he wouldn’t notice the tiny changes in my body, ones that I could barely find. I’d originally intended to tell him during this trip when we’d have time to discuss things without having to worry about Austin. It was going to be a shock. Hell, I’d known for nearly a whole week, and I was still trying to wrap my head around it.
I was pregnant.
I’d been on the pill, which meant it shouldn’t have been possible, but nothing was ever one hundred percent. Well, technically, celibacy would’ve done it, but we could barely go a day without having our hands all over each other.
I just didn’t know how Slade would react when I finally told him. He’d accepted Austin from moment one, which I’d always believed an impossibility. Having a high-energy five-year-old as part of a brand-new relationship wasn’t easy, even for me. If I added a baby to the mix when I’d told him that we were protected, I didn’t even want to imagine what he would say. I could lose him. He could tell me to terminate the pregnancy or leave. He could blame me. Hate me.
I wanted to tell him, share this with him. I wanted to be able to stop holding on to this secret. But after the way things had been going, I wasn’t sure this was the best time to bring it up. Maybe later.
“Come back to me, Chey,” Slade said with a sharp tug on the chain. “Or do I need to bend you over my knee and turn your ass as red as your nipples?”
Definitely later.
Fifteen
Slade
Morning, December 24rd, Present Day
Hudson Valley, New York
I didn’t realize I’d been whistling Christmas carols until Jax asked me to stop. We’d been in the attic for fifteen minutes, searching through random boxes for the Christmas ornaments that the caretaker had insisted were here. Somewhere.
“You’re in a good mood this morning,” he said as he opened another box. “And this is another box of newspapers.”
“I thought that was sort of my thing,” I said, grinning at him. “Being in a good mood.”
Jax shook his head. “No, little brother, there’s a good mood, and then there’s whistling ‘Jingle Bells’ while we search a dusty attic for old Christmas ornaments. That’s a whole lot of mood.”
I laughed. “What can I say? I had a good night.”
Understanding was almost immediate, and as soon as he spoke, I realized why.
“I thought those sounds were coming from your room last night. No soundproofing here.”
“Damn, I didn’t think of that.” In all honesty, I hadn’t thought of much of anything after I’d seen Chey’s gorgeous little nipples sporting two hoops linked by a thin chain. Nothing beyond all the things I wanted to do with my new toys. Things like maybe adding a clit piercing for us both to play with.
Just the thought had my cock stiffening even though I’d spent myself inside Cheyenne twice last night and once this morning. I’d wanted to take her again in the shower after that, but I’d caught the wince she’d tried to hide. She’d never used her safe word, but I’d been with her long enough to know that she’d taken all she could get pleasure from. As her Dom, it was my responsibility to see to her pleasure. As her lover and the man who wanted to be her husband, it was my privilege to take care of and protect her.
My brother shot me an amused frown. “I don’t know what you’re thinking about, but you’re going to have a serious case of blue balls if you don’t stop because you’re not going off to spend some alone time with Cheyenne until we find these damn ornaments.”
I laughed and went back to our search. He was right. If I kept thinking about everything Chey and I had done since last night, I was either going to spend the whole day with an erection hard enough to cut granite or I was going to come in my pants and be
teased mercilessly about it for the rest of my life. Neither choice was appealing.
By the time we found the boxes of antique-looking glass bulbs and what appeared to be a few hand-carved ornaments, Blake had returned with a beautiful Colorado Blue Spruce, easily ten feet tall. If there hadn’t been a section of the living room with a vaulted ceiling, the tree never would have fit. As it was, it was a good thing we hadn’t found a star for the top because it would’ve been too much, and none of us wanted to cut off another inch.
Syll had brought Christmas cookies and cocoa for us to enjoy while we decorated the tree, and then we all headed to our respective rooms to get our gifts. We wouldn’t open anything until tomorrow morning, but we all wanted the effect of having our gifts piled under the tree tonight. I left the most important one where it was, still unsure about the timing.
Cheyenne had been so young when she’d taken on the responsibility of raising her brother, and things hadn’t changed after their mother died. When we moved here, I’d encouraged her to do things for herself and not just for me and Austin. She’d taken a few art classes and was looking into maybe going to college for an art degree. She also worked part-time at a reputable tattoo parlor, coming up with original designs.
Would she see a proposal as losing all of that? I hoped she understood me better than that, but I refused to risk this relationship on an assumption. I’d never ask her to give up the things she wanted to do with her life. In fact, I’d do whatever I could to make sure that she was given all of the opportunities that had passed her by while she’d been taking care of her brother.
None of that changed how much I wanted her to have my last name. Her and Austin both. I wanted official adoption papers so both he and Chey knew that I’d never try to split them up or make Austin feel like he wasn’t as much mine as he was hers. And then I wanted to add to our family.
