“My past choices don’t need a permanent place on my skin.” The thought made me sick. What would I even get? A shadow? That was what I had become, after all, a reflection of myself without any definition.
“You’re not immortalizing the poor choices you may have made.” He worried his bottom lip between his teeth, choosing his words carefully. “Think of it as representing your survival of those choices that made you who you are today.”
“What if I don’t like where I am today?” He stared at me then. The kind of stare that strips you bare, but I was cloaked in warmth.
“Then I suppose you keep moving.” He watched me until I broke eye contact. He’d made it sound so simple. I’d been trying to move for three years only to find myself in the same place I’d started.
“Hmph.” I’d forgotten Lennon was here with me. For a moment, only my stranger and I existed, but there was Lennon now smirking at me along with Wes. I shook myself from our moment.
Sensing my unease, my stranger gave me an out. “When you do decide what you want, Wes here is the perfect guy to do it.” Wes puffed up his chest at the compliment and smirked, about to say something when my stranger cut in. “Shut it, Wes. I meant you're a talented artist. ” He quickly caught himself before Wes had a chance to respond. “And he’ll be completely respectful and appropriate the entire time.” He glared over at his friend and reached into his pocket grabbing a handful of gummy bears. He tossed them into his mouth and chewed, moving his puckered lips in a circular motion.
“Dude, it’s like you don’t even know me,” Wes said with a slow shake of his head and snapped me from my thoughts of what life like a red gummy was like right now—lucky little bitch.
“Oh I know you,” my stranger said, “too well.” I didn’t miss the warning glare he gave his friend.
Wes put his arms up in front of himself defensively and winked at me again.
“You’re pushin’ it.” My stranger mumbled lowly, but my ears were so in tune with his voice I heard it clearly. My heart rate picked up, creating a pulse in the walls around me. Time to go.
I forced a smile at the two of them, but it got stuck on my stranger and widened. “Okay, thanks, guys. Your work really is amazing, Wes, and thank you…” My good-bye trailed off, not knowing his name.
“August.” He offered his hand and I couldn’t believe it happened. I mean, I’ve read it in my romance novels, but stuff like this didn’t happen. I got the chills when I placed my hand in his. They must keep the air pretty cool in places like this. I’d have to remember to bring a sweater when I come back.
“Uh-hum... Staring... Uh-hum.” Lennon coughed behind me, pointing out the obvious. He had a perfect smile. The corners of his eyes wrinkled, making his chocolate eyes sparkle. His teeth, straight and white, but not Ross on Friends white, and his lips glistened from where he had just licked them. I bet they tasted like spearmint or maybe peppermint. Crap, I did it again. I mentally put his lips back in their wrapper.
“Kensie. I’m Kensie.” My body had warmed, leaving me hot and flustered. I needed air. They must keep it pretty warm in here for some reason. I’d have to remember to wear a tank top when I come back.
“Nice to meet you, Kensie.” He licked his lips again. Damn him and his bubble gum lips. “Maybe I’ll see you two in here again soon.” He nodded toward Lennon, who had a shit-eating grin directed right at me.
“Yep, will do. We’ll let you guys get back to it. I’ll be in touch, Wes.” I grabbed Lennon’s hand and dragged her out of the shop while rambling on about coming in sometime after the semester was over. I almost made my way out unscathed until the vibrations of his laughter buzzed through my body, arousing the dormant curiosity in me.
* * *
“Seriously, Kensie, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you get so flustered over a guy.” Lennon kicked off her black converse sending them to thump against her closet door. “I wasn’t flustered Len. The thermostat was all messed up and it was making me uncomfortable.” She harped on me the entire drive back to our dorm and wouldn’t let up. Becoming flustered wasn't typical behavior for me, and Lennon wasn't about to pretend she didn't notice.
For three years I’d avoided dating. My dry spell started after the night that scared me into celibacy, but I couldn’t have explained why it continued, until now. No one man had captured my attention in those three years the way August did today in just a few minutes. Maybe it was purely a physical attraction, but even that hadn’t happened in three years. I should be ecstatic to find my lady bits haven’t grown dependent on size C batteries, but instead it terrified the ever-loving shit out of me.
“Thermostat my ass. You two were licking each other in your minds. I saw it.” Lennon continued to set up her computer and pull out her English Lit book.
“Licking? Really Lennon?” I stared at her, even though I should have been used to what comes out of her mouth. “Telepathic tonguing I call it.” She waggled her eyebrows making it difficult to hide my smile.
“Hi, girls.” Capri waltzed in and interrupted the beginning of Lennon’s recollection of my humiliation. Capri is in her English Literature class here at SDSU. We met when she started coming over to study with Lennon in the beginning of the semester and bonded immediately. Capri placed her books on Lennon’s bed and sat herself next to them with one long slender leg crossed over the other.
“Lennon won’t stop nagging me about some guy from the tattoo shop today.”
“I heard. She texted me and said he gave you an eye-gasm.” Capri giggled.
“Ugh, Len! Really?” I groaned and smothered myself with my own pillow. She wasn’t too far off.
“Stop fighting it, Kensie.” I heard Lennon and Capri giggling and peered up above my pillow to see Lennon biting on her lip and shimmying her shoulders. I laughed and threw my pillow at her.
Lennon side stepped my pillow and plopped herself down on the bed next to Capri. She tapped her pencil against her notebook. “See, and right here, this is you.”
Capri looked over to Lennon’s notes and nodded in approval. “Yeah that is you, Kensie.”
“Who, Kim K? Megan Fox? Oh I know, Gail?” I asked.
“I’m sorry, who?” Lennon put her hand up to stop me.
“Oprah’s friend, the one who got to go all over the country and eat?” Capri said and looked at me for confirmation.
“Yeah, Gail King. She got to eat pizza and burgers all over the place.” Seriously, she had the best job.
Lennon shook her head at me, “No, no, just…no.” She tapped her paper again, “ You my friend are Elizabeth Bennett.”
“Omigod I love Elizabeth.” If I could go back in time and have dinner with anyone it wouldn’t be Elizabeth. No, I’d be Elizabeth. There’s nothing better than a strong and intelligent woman, and she’s a prime example of what I had been trying to accomplish for myself. It doesn’t help she landed the Regency Era hottie.
“Yeah, I know you do,” Lennon scoffed at me. “Now I get why. You’re oblivious to what’s right in front of you.” For the record, I am not oblivious to how ridiculous I looked ogling August today. I am very much aware.
“I always liked Georgiana,” Capri piped up scribbling away in her notes. Lennon huffed and thumped her head against the wall behind her. I could see why Capri favored that character though. She was a lot like the shy and beautiful sister of Darcy. “What?” Capri glared at Lennon. “She’s sweet. I wish Austen wrote a follow up book so we could see Georgiana fall in love too.”
Lennon flopped to her side across a pile of textbooks. Her hysterics had Capri and I both laughing. “Okay,” Capri swatted Lennon’s rear end, “who should we like oh, wise literature major.”
Lennon pulled herself upright and smiled broadly. “Katniss. That chick is badass. She even has a suit that lights on fire.” Call me Katniss then because I’m positive I’ve been on fire since about three o’clock today. “You know what Kens?” Uh oh, she squinted at me. “We need to light you on fire.”
/> “Excuse me?” I asked at the same time Capri dropped her pen on her notebook. “You want to set me on fire?”
“Not literally, figuratively. Whether you admit it or not, a revelation took place today. Change is a-comin.’” Lennon threw her head back and shook her arms in the air. “A spark has been ignited-a. I am vowing right here, right now, in this place of educational worship, to help you feed the flame-a.” She was standing now and patting her forehead with a plaid stocking. Capri joined in on the antics and waved herself with a folded up piece of paper mmhmm-ing along.
“Stop.” I said in between my laughing fit. “Get to the point.”
Lennon tossed her stocking at me and I swat at away, “I think….youshoulddateagain.” She cringed away from me.
“Oh, not this again.” I rolled my eyes and flopped back onto my bed. Lennon spent her fair share of time trying to convince me to date again. I swore to her I would once I found someone worth dating. The truth? I was terrified.
“You should Kensie,” Capri encouraged me. “You might meet your very own Darcy.” She went for the jugular. How could I say no to that? In all honesty, they might be right. I had experienced an interest in a guy today that I hadn’t had in years, or ever.
“I’ve told you,” I sat up and pulled a pillow onto my lap, “If I find someone who peaks my interest I’ll date.” August more than peaked my interest, but I’d never see him again. The thought disappointed me a bit.
Our conversation decreased as Lennon and Capri gave up on their lost cause and honed in on their Lit homework. I couldn’t stop thinking about August from the tattoo shop, and the phone call to Jodie I had to return at some point. I lay back onto my bed and sunk into a pile of pillows. I allowed myself a moment to relax with the assurance I’d call Jodie later.
My iPod had served as a good distraction in the past. Here’s to hoping it would distract me from August thoughts. What were the chances I’d ever see him again anyway? Below the calming hum on the song that started, I heard Capri’s phone ring.
I closed my eyes listening to the rhythmic sound of my latest playlist and sunk deep into my Zen. Somewhere within the lyrics and my fully relaxed limbs flashes of August entered my mind.
Flash. Deep chuckle.
Flash. Heated Chocolate eyes.
Flash. Wetted lips.
Flash. Strong arms around me.
Flash. Laid out on the tattoo table.
My eyes flew open and stared at the florescent light above my bed. That escalated quickly. A pen crossed the path of the bright light and plunked onto my nose. I sat up and turned the iPod down and sought out Lennon. “That was Capri’s brother. Put on your sexy panties. We are going out to Tommy’s tonight.”
Chapter 2
The busiest I’d witnessed Tommy’s get was on open mic nights, and on the nights it hosted a D.J. Music and college kids mixed well. Tonight was no exception with the bar already full of coeds. The cold air brushed a shiver up my spine. I was thankful I had on my skinny jeans and loose tank rather than the mini skirt, aka tube top, Lennon had been trying to talk me into wearing. She had no problem wearing her usual plaid skirt paired with a tight tank tonight, and Capri took the attention for us all in a short, white Tee shirt dress with her super sexy cheetah print heels. Heads and eyes followed while Capri strolled by oblivious to the wanting stares. Lennon proceeded towards our usual table at the back end of the bar, but I was too tempted by the music filling the hazy air.
“I'm going to hit the dance floor first.” I yelled above the music to Lennon. She nodded and pointed to the bar where I knew I would be able to find her and Capri once I got this out of my system. I worked my way into the middle of the crowd and let the beat take over my consciousness.
Nothing had ever come close to igniting the deliverance in me that dancing did. The creaking of the old wood floor under my feet prompted the immediate loosening of the ties in my mind. I swayed my hips to the rhythm of the song, seeing only the subdued hue of the lights through my closed eyes. I brought my arms up around my head and moved my shoulders from side to side. The worry from my day began chipping away until my conscious thoughts took a step back while my euphoria set in.
Only the occasional brush from a nearby stranger caused a break in my daze, but I kept dancing. My hips began a more aggressive thump as the beat of the song changed and my consciousness returned. Strong hands took hold and a warm body closed in behind me. I turned around in his grasp to see an attractive blond with a cute smile, but that’s not what I was here for. I shook my head and mouthed sorry to the handsome stranger while scooting away towards the outer edge of the floor.
After the first two songs, my throat became uncomfortably dry. I searched my friends out by the bar while dancing my way out of the crowd. Not to my surprise, I spotted them in the corner chatting up a couple of guys. With Lennon's spitfire personality, and Capri's undeniable beauty we always attracted a couple of grazers when we went out. As I sidestepped a gyrating couple, I felt a tingling in my spine. I shook my shoulders to release the sensation, and looked back up to see the group staring straight at me.
Standing next to a grinning Lennon was the source of my tingle. An unforgettable man with chocolate eyes and bubble gum lips leaning up against the bar. August. My breath and my legs stopped working in the middle of the dance floor. I was jostled by a nearby couple grinding voraciously against one another and put back into motion.
The stretch between the dance floor and the bar became too close, and yet too far. My eyes traced back and forth between the group; Lennon waving like an idiot, August staring at me with his lips tugged up at the corners, Capri inspecting the glances between August and I, Wes flirting with the girls next to him, and back to August's curious stare.
“Kensie, you remember August and Wes right, from the tattoo shop? Capri's brother?” At the exact moment I paled from the realization of who August was, Capri had a look of recognition on her face. “My brother is the guy from the tattoo shop. The guy?” Kill me now. My euphoria from the dance floor was nun chucked by mortification. Who knew Capri possessed ninja skills?
“I'm the guy.” August smirked at me clearly amused at the fact that he had been talked about after we met him today. “You dance.” He stated as a fact and let his eyes roam over my flushed body.
“I dance.” Nice one Kensie. I put one arm up to casually brush my hair off my neck to release the heat engulfing my body. Dancing plus August equaled inferno. The move didn’t happen as suave as I’d intended, and my arm reached a bit too far out. In one swift motion, I swatted at a tray of shots being carried by a waitress and sent them crashing to the ground all over Capri’s heels. “Omigod, I’m so sorry Capri,” I said dropping to the floor.
“It’s no big deal, Kensie.” Capri swiped at her shoe with a napkin and stood back up leaving me scrambling on the ground. Handing remnants of shot glasses to the waitress above. My blunder was humiliating enough without seeing August’s amusement.
I reached for a piece of glass, but another hand grabbed it first. I was too slow in my reaction time and grasped the hand rather than the glass I’d aimed for. “Sorry,” I said out of instinct.
“Stand up Kensie,” August stood with my hand still grasping his and guided me up along with him; my movement muddled to his chivalry. I watched him until a soft smile swept across his face, and then I realized my hand was still in his. I knew I should pull away, but the way his palm engulfed mine felt so safe, so protected. A gentle squeeze came from him followed by the brush of his thumb over the back of my hand. The movement was sweet and gentle, so much so that I nearly overlooked the intimacy in the physical connection. I pulled my hand back quickly and apologized again. I couldn’t believe I let his touch linger on me. I barely knew him.
“Holy shit, Augustus!” Wes said turning away from his admirers. “That's the girl.” He grabbed Capri's arm to force the attention she was already giving him.
“The girl?” I couldn’t help myself.
�
��Seems that way.” August said studying me.
“He nearly beat the shit out of me because I winked at her.” Wes continued to tell Capri, “Of course I had to keep doing it. Augustus never gets that upset over a chick.” Never? What a coincidence because I never get this roused over a dude.
Lennon laughed and elbowed me in the ribs. “Enough of the introductions, or re-introductions.” Lennon crossed her arms and eyed August. “How could we have never known you were Capri's brother?”
With a slow shake of his head August took a long sip of beer. “Don’t know, but I’m ready for that to change.”
“You're just saying that cause you wanna see Kensie more.” Her sweet smile came back when she teased him and poked him in the side causing him to squirm. My eyes caught the way his muscles rippled beneath his thin white shirt.
I wanted August to agree with Capri. I really wanted him to agree with her, and the constricting in my chest prompted a fight or flight response in me. I chose flight. “Let’s go grab a seat.” I said already a few steps away from the group in my escape.
“You know the more you run, the more obvious it is that you're interested in him.” Lennon said catching up to me at the table. She knew me better than anyone so lying to her would be pointless. ”I admit. I'm interested.” I fought the urge to see if August was behind me. Then I added an extra swivel to my hips for good measure, “That doesn’t mean much of anything though.” I sat down at a table towards the back that would fit our new larger group and spotted August still at the bar talking with Capri and Wes.
“Don’t worry, he saw it.” Lennon patted my arm taking the seat next to me.
“Saw what?”
“Your attempt at getting him to watch your ass. He saw it, and he watched.” Again, she knows me well.
“Did he like it? Could you tell?” Wait, no it doesn’t matter if he liked it. “Wait, I don’t want to know.” I put my hand up to stop her reply.
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