“That Hadley sure has grown up into one fine piece of ass, eh, Ryke?” he leered at me. “Too bad she’s your sister now. But hey, Hads and me go way back. She was my first, you know? And who knows? Maybe we can pick that shit up where we left off.”
I swear to God, I have never wanted to fuck someone up as badly as I wanted to fuck up Jimmy right then. I had to push away the tempting idea of trying to break as many teeth of his as possible with one punch. As I stood there working on controlling myself, my thoughts turned back to the conversation I had just had with Lon. Fuck, had Lon been thinking about Jimmy and Hadley together? Had he asked for my advice because he was trying to come to terms with the idea of them as a couple?
“Anyways,” Jimmy was saying nonchalantly, “If Hads and me do get back together, you and me would be practically related. Brother.”
“Hadley’s not my sister, Jimmy,” I said, my jaw clenching.
“For all intents and purposes, she is,” Jimmy replied. “Hell, must be torture to see those fine tits and know you can’t have ‘em. But don’t worry,” he continued. “I’ll be glad to give you a play by play any time you want.”
Jimmy had been gunning for me a lot lately, so that was nothing new. But there was an edge in his voice I hadn’t heard before. And it was all about Hadley.
“Fuck you, Jimmy,” I said, turning away.
Behind me, he laughed. “That’s right,” he taunted. “She will.”
Chapter Eleven
Hadley
Three weeks later, I was still in Cheyenne. I was still living at Lon and Randi’s, trying to decide what to do with my life, and doing my best to avoid a repeat of what had happened with Ryker the morning after I had arrived.
It hadn’t been easy, even though I got the feeling he was avoiding me, too. But he and I knew all the same people. Hell, we lived in the same house, although lately the only evidence I had of that was hearing the rumble of his bike pulling up late at night, after the rest of the neighborhood had gone to sleep. I saw him at the clubhouse, though. Usually, he had at least one woman hanging off him like they were drowning and he was the only one who could save them.
It bothered me a hell of a lot more than I wanted to admit.
I tried like anything to talk myself out of feeling that way. After all, I didn’t want Ryker. Well, that wasn’t the truth. I wanted him all right, probably more than I’d ever wanted anything in my life. But I tried to tell myself that it was just because I knew I couldn’t have him. Late at night, when I was lying in bed, trying to drop off to sleep, I’d hear his bike pull up, and I’d fantasize about him coming silently into my room, doing everything he had done to me that first day. As I lay there, my hand would move slowly downward until I was touching myself, imagining that my slick finger was his insistent tongue. As I arched my back and shuddered through my silent orgasm, I would tell myself this was the last time I would give into that temptation. But I knew it wouldn’t be. I couldn’t help it. My body wanted Ryker Stone, and there wasn’t a damn thing I could do about it.
Unfortunately, Ryker wasn’t the only one I was trying to avoid. But unlike Ryker, Jimmy was doing anything but try to avoid me. It seemed like he would show up everywhere I was, almost like he had some sort of damn GPS tracker on me. Even though nothing had happened between us, Jimmy was growing more and more possessive in his words and his actions. I knew he was doing his best to send off the vibe to everyone else that I was his territory. As though our past adolescent experimenting somehow meant that we were destined to be together.
But I was not Jimmy’s girl, and would never be his. The fact was, the longer I was in Cheyenne, the more I realized Jimmy had transformed over the years into someone I didn’t much like. At first, I had been so excited to see him again. He was a friend from so long ago, a link to my past and the girl I had been. But there was an arrogance to him now, an aggressiveness that bothered me and frankly scared me a little. And the hungry, keen way he looked at me when we were together set off warning bells deep down inside me. Those bells told me not spend too much time alone with Jimmy Stocker if I could help it.
To tell the truth, I had been a little surprised when I first learned that Jimmy had been patched in to The Throttle. Somehow, I guess I had assumed that when my dad caught us fooling around all those years ago, he would have cut Jimmy out of any future with the club. After all, he had been angry enough to send me far away from everything I’d ever known. I couldn’t quite figure out how I felt about the fact that Lon sent me away but let Jimmy stick around. Today, Lon didn’t seem to have any hard feelings at all toward Jimmy. On the contrary, Jimmy’s position in the club seemed rock solid. I tried not to think about that too much, because when I did it kind of made me mad. It made me feel like I was less important to my father than Jimmy, just because I was a woman. Like my vagina had been the entire source of the problem, not Jimmy’s roving hands and raging hormones. It reminded me of how upset I had been as a little girl the first time I realized I could never be a club member, only an old lady.
In between trying to avoid Ryker and trying to avoid Jimmy, I ended up with a lot of free time on my hands. I spent some of it looking at job ads online, trying to think about what I was going to do next. The trouble was, I didn’t even know where I wanted to live. Going back to Vermont seemed ridiculous. I had hated it there. But the idea of staying on in Cheyenne felt strange. Even though my roots were here, I didn’t feel like I quite belonged anymore. I looked at some jobs in the Denver area, and applied for a few here and there: waitress, receptionist, something called a “quality control inspector.” Nothing sounded interesting enough to be worth moving to a new place for, but I felt like I had to do something. To at least pretend to be moving forward with my life.
I had started hanging out with Lucy a little, and this morning I was back at Crouse’s while she worked the morning shift. As she waited tables and bustled around the restaurant, I sat at the counter with my laptop and a cup of coffee, working on my résumé. “Having any luck with the job search?” she asked me as she came back from giving someone their change.
“Not much,” I sighed. “I guess it would help if I knew what I was looking for.”
“What’d you major in, again?”
“Psychology.”
“Huh.” Lucy looked at me quizzically. “Couldn’t you just open up a psychology practice, or something?”
I laughed. “I wish. But with no money, no clients, and no experience, I don’t think that’s gonna work out for me. At least not right now.”
Lucy cocked her head. “Yeah, I guess maybe you’re right. But someday, right?”
Even though I was frustrated, I appreciated her optimism. It made me feel better having a friend to cheer me on. “Right. Someday,” I smiled back. “So, what’s new with you?”
She smiled excitedly. “So, you know my boyfriend, Diego?”
“Uh-huh.” Lucy had been seeing Diego for a little over a year now. He had apparently been two years ahead of us in school, but I didn’t know him back then. I had met Diego a couple of times now, and he seemed like a really nice guy.
“I think he’s going to propose soon!” Lucy half-whispered, half-squealed the last part of the sentence. She looked at me with wide, bright eyes. “He said he wants to take me ring shopping!”
“Oh, my gosh, Lucy! That’s so exciting! Congratulations!” I smiled at her warmly. It was clear she was really happy.
“I know! Now we just gotta start saving up for the wedding. I already know it’s gonna have to be a big one. Diego’s family is huge!” Lucy chattered on happily about her plans for the big day, and I asked her questions to keep her going. It was a nice distraction from my directionless life.
We were still talking about Lucy’s upcoming nuptials when the electronic beep of the front door sounded. Lucy’s gaze flickered up and a slight frown creased her brow. I turned around and saw Jimmy coming into the restaurant.
“Hey, Hads! I thought you might be here,” he said, com
ing up to me and wrapping his arm around my shoulders. Ugh. How does he do that? I thought irritably. I needed to find some less predictable places to hang out.
“Hey,” I greeted him, gently detaching his arm from me. “What’s up?”
“Not much,” Jimmy replied. “I just thought I’d get some breakfast. Lucy,” he called, “Western omelet and a side of bacon.”
“Got it,” Lucy called back, retreating into the kitchen.
“Come sit with me,” Jimmy said, turning toward of the booths.
I snapped my laptop shut and followed him. “You know, I was working on my résumé,” I said crankily.
Jimmy led me by the hand to a corner booth, seemingly not having heard me. “So,” he said as we sat down. “Haven’t seen much of you the last couple of days. What’s been up?”
As I looked at him across the table, I thought of Lucy’s meth-addicted cousin. Steeling myself, I decided it was time I asked Jimmy about the club’s drug business. “Jimmy,” I began, “can I ask you something?”
He smiled encouragingly, and I realized he probably thought I was going to ask him about us. Arrogant jerk, I thought to myself with irritation. I ignored his expectant look and continued. “I’ve been hearing from... some people... that there’s a meth problem in Cheyenne lately. And from what I’ve been hearing, the club is the reason.”
Jimmy scoffed. “Come on,” he said easily, leaning back in his seat. “Sure, the club has a hand in the business. We’d be crazy not to – that shit is crazy profitable. But that doesn’t mean anything. People are gonna do what they’re gonna do, Hads.” He shrugged his shoulders and grinned. “If the dealers didn’t get it from us, they’d just get it from somewhere else.”
“That’s not very honest, is it, Jimmy?” I retorted. “Considering that there wasn’t a source for it before The Throttle got involved.”
“Sure there was.” His laugh was cynical. “You think Cheyenne was just this pure little town before? Hadley, drugs are all over the place in this country. Shit, you can walk down any street, in any town, and get whatever you want. We’re just getting a cut in the action.”
“And pushing meth into high schools,” I snapped. Lucy had told me more about how the bigger dealers the club sold to targeted “ambitious” high school kids who would do anything to make a quick buck.
“Like I said, Hads, not our problem. It’s not like I’m standing in front of the high school handing it out.”
“No, but somebody else is.”
“Not my problem.”
“Your conscience is pretty much nonexistent, isn’t it, Jimmy?” I was repulsed by his attitude, and it came out in my voice. Jimmy’s eyes narrowed.
“Hey,” he said sharply. “You don’t get to tell me what to do, okay?” He pointed a finger in my face. “Club business is club business. No fuckin’ woman is gonna get in the middle of it. It ain’t your problem, Hadley. Case closed.”
“Yeah,” I retorted. “Case closed.” I stood up. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I have work to do.”
Jimmy reached out to grab me by the wrist. “Don’t. You. Dare,” I bit out at him. “You do not fucking own me, Jimmy. And you never will.”
“Hey!” he called after me sharply, but I was having none of it. Fuck him. I sat back down at my stool at the counter and woke my computer back up. He called my name a couple of times, but I ignored him. After a minute or so, I heard him swear, and then the door to the restaurant opened and closed brusquely as he left the restaurant.
A minute or so later, Lucy came out of the kitchen with a plate of hot food. “Where’s Jimmy?” she asked. “Got his order ready.”
“He left,” I replied.
“Shit,” she muttered, walking over to the booth. She glanced down at the table in disgust. “Fucker didn’t even pay for the meal,” she said.
I snorted. Typical. “Bring it here,” I sighed. “I haven’t had breakfast yet.” Arguing with Jimmy had given me an appetite. A Western omelet sounded just fine by me.
“What were you two arguing about?” Lucy asked. “I couldn’t help but notice,” she added apologetically.
I pursed my lips as I dug into the omelet. “Actually, I asked Jimmy about the club’s involvement with the meth trade.” I looked up in time to see her stricken face, and I knew she was thinking about her cousin. “You were right, of course, Lucy. The Throttle is distributing. Jimmy doesn’t see anything wrong with it. He said if it wasn’t them providing the meth, it would be someone else.”
Lucy’s face transformed from stricken to furious. Her eyes filled with tears, which she brushed away angrily with the back of her hand. “How can he say that?” she cried. “There was hardly any meth here two years ago. My cousin Tina would be fine if it wasn’t for the MC. She would have graduated from high school. Maybe she would have gone to college, even.” Her voice cracked with emotion. “Instead, she’s lying in some shithole somewhere, half dead. Hell, maybe she’s already dead.”
My heart ached for Lucy, and for her cousin. I was horrified Jimmy didn’t care that the club’s activities were ruining the lives of people who had nothing to do with the club. People who were paying with their lives, for the profit of The Throttle.
I knew now that I could never convince Jimmy this was the wrong direction for the club. And I had no idea how to broach the subject with my father.
But, I realized, there was someone I might be able to convince.
Chapter Twelve
Ryker
After weeks of trying like hell to make myself scarce whenever I thought Hadley would be around, and her presumably doing the same, I looked up from my pool game with Gonz to find her standing in front of me, a nervous look on her face.
“Hi,” she said simply.
“Uh, hi.”
She bit her lip. “Could we, um, go somewhere to talk?”
I glanced over at Gonzo, who briefly raised his eyebrows. “Hey, fine by me if you wanna quit. I was kicking the shit out of you, anyway.”
I laughed. Gonzo couldn’t beat me at pool if I was blindfolded. I turned my attention back to Hadley. I couldn’t imagine what she wanted to talk to me about. I could imagine what I wished she wanted to talk to me about, but that didn’t involve a hell of a lot of talking. “Sure,” I said, keeping my tone neutral. “Wanna go into the back office?”
“Not here,” she murmured, looking around nervously. “Somewhere else.”
I had no idea where this was going. But suddenly I had the urge to get as far away from the club and all its weight as possible.
“Come on,” I said. I turned on my heel and toward the front door of the bar. Hadley followed. I strode out into the blinding midafternoon sunlight and stopped at my bike. “Here,” I said, handing her my helmet. She put it on without a word.
I straddled the bike, and Hadley got on behind me. I felt her snug up against my back, and predictably, my cock jumped in response. Having her this close to me was going to be torture. Forcing myself to ignore my baser instincts, I fired up the bike, which roared to life underneath us. Hadley wrapped her arms around my waist, and we were off.
We flew through town, though for once I was careful to keep the bike not too far over the speed limit. The last thing I wanted right now was the hassle of some wet-behind-the-ears cop with a quota to stop us – even though, with my easily recognizable cut, it was unlikely. Cops usually left The Throttle alone. I didn’t stop until we were miles out of town, finally slowing and turning the bike onto a small gravel road. It didn’t look like it led to much, but I knew better. I followed the road past a lone homestead, and finally came to a stop where the gravel ended abruptly. I killed the bike and Hadley got off.
We were on top of a bluff, looking down into a small almost-canyon below. I came here sometimes to think. I had never seen another soul around, despite the raw beauty of the place. It was the one place I had always had completely to myself.
Hadley had walked to the edge of the bluff and was looking out in wonder. As I came to sta
nd next to her, she looked at me, her eyes wide. “How do you know about this place?” she asked softly.
I shrugged. “I figure I’ve been on every road in this county at one point or another. I found this place a long time ago. Probably before I even prospected.”
She sat down on a large, flat rock that looked almost like someone had placed it there as a natural bench. I sat down beside her. “So, what did you want to talk to me about?” I asked. No reason to pretend we were here to talk about the weather.
“I heard through the grapevine that the club is dealing meth,” she said without preamble.
Shit. I don’t know what I was expecting, but it wasn’t this. Of course it was true, but having Hadley know it made it even worse. I didn’t want her to know it. I couldn’t lie to her, but I didn’t want to tell her the truth either. So, I stalled. “Who did you hear that from?” I said.
“It’s not important. But I know it’s true. Jimmy admitted it.”
Fuck. I did not want to have this conversation. “So, if you know it’s true, what do you want to talk to me about?” I asked drily.
“How can you do that?” she cried, turning to me. “How can you feel good about bringing meth into Cheyenne?” She shook her head. “Of course I know the club is into stuff that’s not exactly strictly legal,” she continued. “I’m not an idiot. But seriously, meth? Doesn’t it bother you at all? Jesus,” she swore softly.
As uncomfortable as I already was about our meth business, Hadley’s obvious disgust just made me feel worse. “Of course it bothers me,” I retorted. I had never admitted this to anyone. I was still trying to figure out how to bring it up with Lon.
“Well, then, why the hell are you still selling it?” Anger flashed in her eyes.
“Because I’m not the one in charge,” I shot back. Too late, I realized that I was talking about her father. Blaming him, basically.
Throttle MC: A Stepbrother Romance Page 7
