by J. J. Green
As they turned to Apate, their stares, along with those of the bar staff and all the other customers in the pub, became fixed on her. Carrie grimaced. Attracting attention to the alien was the last thing she wanted. She didn’t know who else might know about dandrobians, and she couldn’t afford the knowledge that one was on Earth getting back to Errruorerrrrrhch. Why had she agreed to bringing Apate out with her? She shook her head. “What would you like to drink, Apate?”
Carrie’s male colleagues were hastily scooting along the pub benches and shifting chairs to make room for the statuesque beauty. Apate’s eyes were alive as she scanned the bar and the glasses of drinks. “Some of that,” she said, pointing at a pint of beer. The men rose as one and fell over each other in their haste to get to the bar, arguing over whose shout it was. Dave slowly put down his drink and folded his arms as Carrie and the dandrobian manoeuvred between the tables.
Apate settled herself in a vacant seat and smiled beatifically at the female call centre workers, who were eyeing her sullenly. Carrie had had some difficulty in finding a shop that sold clothes large enough to fit Apate. All she had managed to come up with was a man’s tracksuit, but even without makeup and with her hair barely arranged, the dandrobian still managed to look gorgeous. Carrie had put on a dress, which a rare event for her, but she might as well have been naked for all the benefit it gave her appearance next to Apate.
Unable to decide among themselves who would buy the alien’s beer, the men returned with three pints. No one had thought to buy a drink for Carrie, so she shrugged and helped herself to one of the pints, her discomfort fading a little into amusement while the men not-so-subtly fought to be the one who sat on the other side of the alien.
Dave’s look was stern. He tried to catch Carrie’s eye, but she ignored him.
The cover story Carrie had invented for Apate seemed to be unneeded. Whenever anyone asked an awkward question about where she came from, or what she did or any other background details she couldn’t answer, Apate smiled and laughed, and her admirers laughed along with her. Even the women began to warm to her, asking about how she did her hair and what skin routine she had and if she exercised.
Apate behaved with great charm and manners, and was perfectly at ease. She complimented the women on their clothes and looks and asked with seemingly genuine interest about their jobs at the call centre. And she laughed at all the men’s stupid jokes.
For Carrie, the evening was also going quite well. Her anxiety about Apate being discovered melted considerably and would have gone entirely if it had not been for Dave. He remained in the corner, his lips set, and replied monosyllabically to any comments that came his way. Everyone but Carrie soon stopped paying any attention to him.
As time wore on, Carrie finally had to go to the toilet. By then she had no concerns about leaving Apate alone, but, as she had feared he would, Dave took the opportunity to talk to her in private. He cornered her in the passage leading from the bar.
“What the h—”
“It’s one night,” said Carrie. “I have to go back to Dandrobia in the morning, and I’m taking her with me. You should have seen her when I told her. She was so upset. Crying and everything. She’s been trapped on that planet for thousands of years, and she just wanted to see a little bit of Earth, just a tiny bit, she said, before she went back. You can see how happy she is. Dave, she’s so clever and charming, none of them suspect a thing. It won’t do any harm. It won’t. And after I take her back Errruorerrrrrh will never find out and I’ll have done a nice thing for a good person. I mean, alien.” Carrie took a breath.
Dave’s expression had not changed during her speech. He leaned towards her and held up a finger. “One. If she’s such a nice person, why has she persuaded you to commit a crime for her? Do you even know what happens to people who’ve done what you have? You might not only lose your job, you could end up in prison yourself. Did you think of that?” He held up another finger. “Two. What if she refuses to go back? She’s built like a tank, Carrie. You might be a Bagua Zhang master, but you’re not so good you’re gonna force her to do anything she doesn’t want to do.” A third finger rose to join the others. “Three. What do you think the other dandrobians think about Apate being here? Do you suppose they don’t want to leave Dandrobia too? What if they’ve noticed she’s missing and they try to blackmail you? You’re supposed to be neutral. Now they have the perfect hold over you so you have to do whatever they say.”
Carrie’s mouth opened and shut twice. She stomped a few steps down the passage, turned and stomped back. She held up a finger and pointed it at her friend as if in warning, then snatched it away, bit her lip and clenched her fists at her sides. “Dammit, Dave, do you have to be right all the time?”
He leaned back against the wall, folded his arms and raised an eyebrow. “So, what are you going to do?”
Carrie shook her head. “I don’t know. I can’t seem to think straight when I’m around her. She’s so gorgeous and charming. I don’t even really know why I agreed to bring her here. What was I thinking?”
Dave frowned. “Well, she’s here now. What’s done is done. The question is, what are you going to do next?”
“Take her back home, I suppose.” Carrie sighed. “Right away. Damage control.” She set off towards the bar, but reversed her direction. “I have to go to the loo first.” Pushing open the door to the ladies’ room, she hurried inside.
Carrie looked at her reflection in the mirror as she washed her hands. She went back over the last twenty-four hours, wondering at her stupidity. Of course the dangers of not reporting Apate’s escape were far worse than dealing with the repercussions of Errruorerrrrrhch’s disappointment in her. The alien was a criminal. And yet... Her suspicion that the dandrobians were not as bad as the Unity made them out to be resurfaced. She also recalled Apate’s tear-filled, sad face, and her heart softened again. Apate was such a lovely person, it was hard to say no to her. “Arghhh...” Carrie shook her head vigorously, banishing the dandrobian’s face from her mind.
She would have to harden her resolve, tell Apate she had to come home with her right now, and hope that word about her temporary escape would never get out. It was going to be difficult to pry the dandrobian from her colleagues—the alien had made herself so popular—but it would have to be done.
But when she got back to the group, there was no sign of the dandrobian. Carrie spun on her heel, her eyes searching the bar, her heart rising in her throat. Apate was not there, and neither was Dave. Among her colleagues black looks were circulating, though a few were giggling.
“Looking for someone?” one of the women said, smirking.
“Oh, stop teasing her,” said another. “You’re friend left,” she told Carrie.
“Left? Did she say where she was going?” Why would Apate leave without her? Had she wanted to go back to the flat? But she didn’t have a key.
“No, and neither did Rob.” The first woman laughed.
“She left with Rob?” A sinking feeling filled Carrie’s stomach. She knew her colleague Rob well. A lovely photo of his wife and children sat on his desk.
Chapter Ten – Apate’s Excursion
Flinging open the pub door, Carrie sped out into the night. The women had told her Dave had also left, but when she looked up and down the street neither he nor Apate were anywhere to be seen. Picking a direction at random, she ran down the road, scanning from side to side for a sight of the alien. At her size, she should have been easy to spot, even in the weak lamplight, but Carrie saw no one resembling her among the late night pedestrians. She turned down another street, but there was still no sign of the escapee.
Then Carrie remembered Rob lived some distance from the pub and came by car. She stopped running and, panting, turned back the way she had come. There was no way she would catch up to Apate if she was in a car. The only place she knew of connected to Rob was his home, and that was the last place he would take the dandrobian. She went back to the pub for her coat
and bag.
By the time she returned, Dave was also back and was waiting for her. The bar had called last orders a while before, and the other call centre workers were finishing their drinks and leaving.
“Your friend and Rob had left by the time I got back after talking to you. I went after them, but Rob’s car was gone.” He drained his pint. “What are you going to do now?”
“I don’t know yet. Damn, damn, damn. Why oh why did I have to bring her out with me?”
Dave started putting on his coat. “She knows where you live, doesn’t she? Maybe she’ll come back later.”
Carrie’s pensive face brightened. “That’s an idea. Do you really think she might?”
“No.”
Rolling her eyes, she said, “Thanks.”
Dave spoke into her ear. “Seriously, why would she come back? You saw everyone here tonight. She had them wrapped round her finger in five minutes. It won’t take her more than a few days to set herself up, and though Northampton isn’t a patch on Dandrobia from the sound of it, at least she won’t be in prison.”
Cool blasts of air came through the door as Carrie and Dave’s work colleagues left. Carrie sat down and leaned on the table, her chin in her hand. “There’s no reason she should stick to Northampton. She’ll be off to London or, with her looks, Hollywood.” She sat up and her eyes widened. “Hey, you remember Belinda?”
Dave rubbed his knuckles. “She’s difficult to forget.”
“She said she was half-dandrobian. What if Hollywood actors have dandrobian blood, too?”
“How would that work, then? Oh never mind. I’ll leave you to figure it out. And how you’re going to find Apate and force her through the gateway tomorrow morning. I’m going home.”
Carrie scowled and watched her friend under beetled brows as he left. Thanks for pointing out how much trouble I’m in then leaving me to deal with it. Her shoulders slumped. But why should he help her clear up after her own mistakes? He had warned her. And where would the two of them look for Apate anyway? She could be in any shady hotel. Carrie squirmed and pushed the thought from her mind.
***
Rogue didn’t give his usual happy bark when Carrie turned the key in the door of her flat after arriving home from the pub. She called his name as she closed the door. He ran out of the kitchen and stopped with his face pointed at the living room door, which was closed. He growled and barked a sharp, warning bark before looking expectantly at Carrie.
“You want to go in there? What for?”
Rogue ran to her, bounced and turned back to the door, where he continued growling.
Tension gripped Carrie. Was her dog trying to tell her someone was in the living room? Rogue was so friendly, she had never imagined he would be much use in protecting her home. But something was clearly wrong. She looked at her front door and examined its lock. Nothing seemed to have been forced. Should she phone the police? But she didn’t even know if she had an intruder. Did they respond to incidents of dogs behaving strangely?
She glanced about for a weapon. The nearest thing was an umbrella. She picked it up and held it out in front of her, before putting it down again. An umbrella as a weapon was ridiculous. A knife? She wasn’t comfortable using something that could easily be turned against her.
There was nothing for it. Carrie pushed her sleeves up to her elbows. She would just have to rely on her Bagua Zhang skills to fight off the intruder if there was one. Her heart thumping, she took two quick steps to the living room door and threw it open. Jumping into the room, she assumed a fighting stance.
“Hello, Carrie. Is something wrong?” asked Apate. She was sitting on Carrie’s sofa petting Toodles, who was curled in her lap. “I’m so glad you’re home, darling. Your other animal doesn’t like me. I daren’t leave the room.”
“Apate,” Carrie exclaimed. She straightened up and pulled down her sleeves before clearing her throat. “I thought you might be a thief or something.”
“Why would you think that?” Toodles shifted contentedly, and Apate tickled her under her chin.
“Because...because...” Carrie tried to compose herself and lowered her voice as she continued, “you went off with Rob from Accounts. I didn’t think you’d be back so soon, and maybe not ever.”
“Oh, your lovely human friend only wanted to show me his car. It was new, you see, and he was sooo proud of it. I thought it would be terribly rude of me if I refused. He was such a darling. So sweet. He took me for short drive before dropping me back here.”
“That’s all you did?”
“Of course, my dear. Why, what were you imagining Rob and I did?” She looked at Carrie through lowered lashes. Toodles was purring.
“I—I wasn’t sure.” Carrie tutted. “There aren’t many reasons two nearly complete strangers leave a pub together, Apate.”
A rich, resonant laugh broke from Apate’s throat. “Please forgive me, Carrie, darling. I’m just making a little joke. But there’s no need for you to be concerned. Rob and I did nothing untoward. Why would we? He has a wife, and, as I said, I’m familiar with humans and their customs. I would never do such a thing.” She lowered her eyelids once more. “How could you even suspect me?”
Stretching her long, shapely arms wide and yawning, Apate tried to stand, but Toodles would not move from her lap. “I simply must go to bed, but your friendly animal doesn’t seem to want to let me.”
“She really likes you, doesn’t she?” Carrie’s brow wrinkled. She had always known that, deep down, Toodles was a gentle-hearted, adorable cat, but even she had to admit there were precious few instances where Toodles had justified her opinion.
Apate scooped up the cat in both hands and placed her on the sofa. Free of her grasp, the cat shot away and up the bookshelves, where she snuggled into a gap between two sets of books.
“Good night,” said Apate.
“Good night.” Carrie watched with relief as Apate left the room. She went to where Toodles was curled. Her eyes were level with her cat’s. Maybe Toodles had suddenly become more friendly? She reached out to pet her, but Toodles claws flashed out and she yowled. Carrie leapt back just in time to avoid the cat scratching her face. “Oh, Toodles,” Carrie said sadly. What did Apate have that she didn’t—apart from stunning good looks and a perfect body? She got ready to spend a second night on the sofa.
Chapter Eleven – Resistance Is Not Futile
Carrie was not taking any chances with her stowaway the following morning when she was due to return to Dandrobia. She hastily ate her toast and drank her tea, and while Apate was safely out of earshot in the bathroom, she called Dave and asked him to come over in case of any problems.
She liked Apate. It was difficult not to like her, but there was much more to the dandrobian than appeared on the surface. When she had asked her how she had managed to get inside without a key, the alien only smiled sweetly and replied, “Ways and means, darling, ways and means.”
Dave was not happy about being woken up early on a Sunday morning, especially after a night at the pub, but he agreed to help. There was only a short window of time available to make sure Apate came with her, and Carrie could not ask Errruorerrrrrhch to keep the gateway open any longer than normal without having to explain why. With Dave present there would be two of them to persuade the reluctant alien to leave before the gateway closed.
She clung to the hope that she could get Apate back to Dandrobia without any problems. After she concluded the negotiations, Errruorerrrrrhch would be forced to admit she had done a reasonable job—the breakdown of the original meeting due to an unfortunate accident notwithstanding—and she could continue in her fascinating and fulfilling role with the Transgalactic Council.
Her doorbell sounded, and Rogue barked happily when she opened the door to Dave. The dog leapt up to lick his face. Toodles was in the bookshelf, where she went to sulk whenever she could not get Apate’s attention.
“Get down, Rogue,” said Carrie.
The dog dropped obedie
ntly to the floor, his tail thumping noisily.
“Thanks for coming,” she said to Dave. “I’ve left some breakfast out on the table.”
“Good morning, Dave,” said Apate, emerging from the bathroom. She was wearing her dandrobian clothing once more and she had wound the emerald-green material artfully around her body to show off its curves to their best advantage.
“Morning,” said Dave. “You’re off today, then?”
“Sadly, yes, though I’ll be sorry to leave. I’ll miss Earth sooo much. It’s such a wonderful place, with such marvellous things to eat and drink and interesting places to go.”
Carrie’s eyebrows rose. Last night’s dinner had been egg and chips, and she could hardly believe anyone would think Northampton and her local pub was marvellous.
“Well, all good things must come to an end,” said Dave.
Apate sighed heavily. “How long do I have?”
Fighting the feeling of pity that surged up in her, Carrie pulled out her phone and checked it. “Fifteen minutes.”
Gathering her robes about her, Apate said, “I’d like to take one last look at Earth in the little time I have left, if I may.” She drifted theatrically past the two humans in the narrow hallway.
Rogue ran into the kitchen ahead of her, his low growl just audible. What was Rogue’s problem? Toodles liked Apate, and she did not seem to like anyone, not even Carrie, who had cared for her all her life.
They followed the alien and the dog, and found Apate poised at the kitchen sink, leaning slightly forward and gazing into the very ordinary street outside. Rogue was watching her intently, and he did not take his eyes off her when Carrie and Dave entered, though his tail thumped to acknowledge their presence.
Partly to fill the awkward silence and partly because she was genuinely curious, Carrie posed the question that was bothering her. “Apate, why do you like it here so much? I still don’t really understand. Earth has some beautiful places, but you haven’t seen them. You’ve only seen my boring flat and, well, nothing that I’d consider impressive. As far as I can tell Dandrobia is amazing. You made it that way, exactly how you like it. If there was any place in the galaxy where it’s possible to be completely content, Dandrobia’s it.”
