by JB Duvane
“Why exactly do you need me to be involved in this? I mean, why don’t you just do it out of your own apartment since you’re the one that’s so jazzed about the idea?”
“Cause I want us to do this together. Doesn’t it sound like it would be fun?”
The look on Kyle’s face gives me a bad feeling. A pang in my stomach that I get whenever he asks me a favor. The pang that is almost impossible for me to ignore and that makes it really hard for me to say no to him. “I don’t know if I would use the word fun—“
“Besides, can’t you picture the gym all tricked out with special lighting like when they do the hip hop cardio classes in there? Maybe a stripper pole set up for one of the audition numbers? You and me, sitting there, sipping some cold ones and having a bunch of girls doing everything in their power to impress us. Can’t you see it?”
“Don’t you think they’re going to want money?”
Kyle quickly sat forward on the couch. “You know, that’s not a bad idea. The winners get a prize of some sort in addition to sex with us. Now you’re thinking! I don’t know why I didn’t come up with that earlier.”
“Hey, it wasn’t a suggestion. It was really more of a con—like as in a list of pros and cons? Con number one: girls might not be interested in stripping for us for free.”
“Point taken. I’ll get back to you on that. It should probably be something big. But that’s nothing we can’t handle. In the meantime, business as usual.” Kyle stands up and heads for the door, then stops and turns back. “I’m telling you, Graham, you won’t regret this. I think this could be my best idea ever.”
“Yeah, sure. What about Peterson. Don’t you want to involve him in your big sex scheme?”
“Eh, he’s never around. I haven’t seen him in the office for, like, a week. Have you talked to him recently?”
“No. I was wondering where he was with that indie whisky company out of Arkansas.”
“What did they want?”
“They hired us to do market research and ad consulting. Also revamping their website. That’s why Peterson was taking care of it. It’s a small gig, but they seem like a pretty cool little company. He told me he was putting a team together and we’d all be having a video conference sometime this week. Are you planning on talking to him?”
“Yeah, I guess. He owes me money from last month’s poker game and he hasn’t paid up yet.”
“What do you need his money for? You’re a freaking millionaire, Kyle.”
“Hey, money is money. And I gots to get what’s mine,” he says as he spins three-hundred-and-sixty degrees in front of me, then gives me two finger guns when he’s facing me again. “Actually, I wound up having to shell out a lot more this last month than I’d planned. I paid cash for the Lambo, then had to pay off my Amex and totally forgot about a bunch of charges.”
“Seriously? You don’t keep track of that stuff?”
“Not as well as you and Peterson. I can only hope to be even half as responsible as the two of you one day.” Kyle gives me a mocking bow, then stands up. “Anyway, I’m gonna be glad when we go over the last quarter and get our payouts. I need money for my condo fees and my rent. How much do you think it’s going to be this time around?”
“I don’t know. This was a really good quarter. There’s still some accounts being settled, but I think we’re looking at at least two-fifty.”
“Million?”
“Yeah.”
“Each?”
“Yep.”
“What?! Holy shit, Graham. I never would have guessed that this business would be pulling in almost eight-hundred million a quarter back when we started it. Seriously, it blows my mind. This is five times as much as we pulled in last quarter. We’ve only been at this for five years and we’re killing it. What are the projections for the whole year?”
“Well, if things keep up with the way they have been with new European accounts we should be looking at just over three billion.”
“How is that even possible! Jesus!”
“Well, it’s not just income from the accounts. The projections include investments too. Especially the crypto-currency trading we’ve been doing lately. We’re gonna find out more about that at the meeting on Friday.”
“Awesome! Okay, I’ll catch ya later.”
“See you later, Kyle.”
Kyle walks out the door and for the next hour I can’t get the conversation we just had out of my head. Not about the money. After the first million, the money that was pouring in just became numbers on a page to me. What I can’t stop thinking about is that damned audition idea. And Aubrey. I’d tried to wipe the memory of her out of my mind over the last couple years, and for the most part, I’ve been successful. Except for the part I don’t even want to admit to myself. That whenever some random chick is sucking my cock, it’s Aubrey’s face I see.
I’m left sitting there at my desk with the image of me and Kyle sitting in a dark room that’s lit with swirling, multi-colored spotlights, and a line of girls waiting to strip for us. Girls that all have Aubrey’s hypnotic blue eyes and long, dark hair. And as much as I complained when Kyle brought it all up, I don’t hate the idea. In fact, the more I think about it, the more I kind of love it.
Aubrey
I’ve been sleeping on Breanna’s couch for a couple nights and I still have no idea what I’m going to do. Brea says I can stay on her couch for as long as I need to, but I feel bad. I know she likes having me around, and I love living with my best friend, but Breanna also has roommates and I get the feeling they aren’t as thrilled as she is.
“Why don’t we get a place together?” she suggests while she’s getting ready for work.
“With what money? I have nothing and no one seems to be hiring. I’ve gone to every store in this stupid town and emailed my resume to every local ad I found online. I’m seriously considering doing some camming, but I don’t even have any space to do that here.”
“You can use my room! Seriously, do it in here while I’m at work. I don’t mind at all.”
“Thanks, Brea. I appreciate it. I just wish things were going better for me right now. I feel like such a loser.”
“Why? Because an asshole dumped you? That’s silly. I’m serious, Aubrey, there are tons of guys who would kill to go out with you, or see you naked, or tell you what to do.”
“Yeah, but I don’t want just any guy telling me what to do. I mean, I have to be into the guy. There has to be a vibe there.”
“Have you checked out any BDSM dating sites lately? Like Smackmatch or Domlife? You might find someone you like on there.”
“No. I’m just not feeling it.”
“What you’re feeling is sorry for yourself. Your job while I’m gone today is to sign up to start doing some camming and message at least one Doms on one of those sites. I’m going to check your progress when I get home tonight and I’d better see some results, young lady.”
“Ha ha.”
“I’m serious. I’m not gonna let that jerk-off, Danny, keep you in a funk. He’s not worth it. You are so much better off without him and you deserve to be appreciated. Now get on that computer and find someone to tell you what to do in bed!”
I laugh out loud at what Brea says. She’s being silly, but she’s also right. I need to get over Danny, like, now. All I’m doing by feeling bad about what he did to me is continuing what he started. I’m treating myself like shit and I know I don’t deserve that. “Okay, I will.”
“Yay! You are gonna rock the camming world, Aubrey. Dudes are gonna be lining up to slip you their tokens,” she says with a big grin.
“I’ll believe it when I see it.”
After almost an hour of scrolling through the profile pics on Domlife, I’m pretty much ready to give up. It seems like it’s just the same bunch of guys that I saw the last time I was on here. There were the young guys who are trying to look tough, the scary guys who looked like they were about to snap someone’s neck, and the old, fat, bald men who always s
eemed to demand a very specific type. Young and skinny, with long, blonde hair. I mean, I find it odd that these men feel like it’s perfectly fine to have requirements that they themselves don’t even fit. I sigh as I remember why I stopped coming to these sites not long after I made my profile a couple years ago.
I don’t even have a picture of myself up. I uploaded one when I made the account, but within the first couple days I was barraged with over one-hundred emails. It’s pretty common on those sites for the men to have profile pictures up but not the women, so I pulled mine down, but I still got about twenty emails a day for at least a month. The guys on those sites really come across as desperate sometimes.
It’s getting late and I haven’t even signed up at any of the camming sites yet, and I promised myself that I would message at least one guy before Brea got home.
On the twenty-third page of profiles, I finally come to one that looks promising—a mid thirties guy with dark hair who lives not too far away, in the valley. He looks nice, like he isn’t trying to appear tough with a leather jacket or a scowl, and he’s actually pretty attractive. I don’t even think about what I’m going to say. I just message him some general stuff about myself—age, weight, interests, and that I’m a sub—but I don’t mention being a virgin. I don’t feel like that’s something I want him to know unless we’re actually going to get down and dirty. I figure we’ll have time to go over more details if and when I decide to meet him. I hit send, log out of the site, and get the hell out of there.
I spend the next hour creating an account on the one cam site I know is halfway decent—or at least isn’t owned by a scamming perv—then go back to check on my private message to the Dom.
I suck my breath in a little when I log in. I have a red envelope at the top right corner of the screen. I click on it and read the short message. The guy thanks me for contacting him and tells me he’d love to know more about me. He says we could talk on the phone or even meet up in person—in a public place—if I’m comfortable with that. He gives me his private email address and tells me to email him a picture if I’m okay with that—which I am. I just don’t want it on my profile for every weirdo to see.
I’m totally nervous about emailing this guy, but I’m also really curious. I want to see if there is a guy out there who I can connect with. A guy who will make me want to submit to him. Someone who treats me well and makes me feel safe, but then can make me feel like he’s taken it all away in a split second. Someone who dangles me off the edge of a cliff, but then has the ability to pull me back to safety after he makes me come.
God, I’d give up my virginity for a guy like that in a heartbeat, I know I would. It’s not like I find it special or sacred somehow. I wasn’t brought up religious, although I was taught that a girl’s virginity is something that can only be taken away when a man’s cock is inserted into her vagina. Now that I’m an adult, I don’t buy that crap at all. But I do feel like that idea fits together with why I’ve stayed a virgin for so long.
My wanting to find a man to submit to, and my waiting to let a man stick his cock inside my pussy. Those things are special in a way. Or at least they can be. But maybe it really has to do with trust. Because I know that if I felt that way about a man—if I let myself go to a place where I would do whatever he asked, no matter what it was—that I would be able to trust him with my entire body. Every inch of it. I’m not sure if it’s even possible for me to find a man like that online. And I seriously doubt it can happen over just one date, but I also know I have to start somewhere.
I email a picture to Trey—that’s what he tells me his name is—of me sitting in a dark bar with my knees pushed together and a shy smile on my face. There’s a flash going off so my skin is glowing and my eyes are almost closed. I’ve always thought the picture made me look the way I wanted guys to see me—especially Doms. Sweet and pretty and demure. I know it’s a bit of an act, because it’s not the way I am all the time. But it’s how I want to feel when I’m being a sub.
I rarely felt that way with Danny, though. I always felt kind of desperate when I was with him. I’m sure that he truly believed that I was the lucky one. That I should have been thankful that he was gracious enough to stick his cock in my mouth. Ugh. I tell Trey that I’d be happy to meet him at a coffee shop or a bar and that we can get to know each other better that way, rather than over email.
He emails me back almost immediately, which sets off a bit of a desperation red flag in my mind. But I decide to give him the benefit of the doubt. It is hard to find someone you find attractive enough to message, let alone interesting enough to meet in person. And when you do, a lot of times you want to grab onto that teeny shred of hope so it doesn’t slip away.
He says he wants to meet tonight. He has a place in mind and it’s not too far. He suggests we get something to eat and a drink and see how we feel about continuing on. Even though I’m really nervous to get back out there so soon, I agree. I know this will be good for me. I don’t know about what he says about continuing on, though. But I figure I’ll just take it one step at a time.
I get dressed—not too slutty but definitely not sweet and demure. I want to be myself the first time I meet this guy. I don’t want to be a sub right off the bat, and definitely not his sub. Not yet, anyway. I still feel a little sad and wounded over Danny, and more than anything right now I need to do start doing things just for me. Things that make me feel better about myself, regardless of how they make anyone else feel. And right now, meeting this random dude from a BDSM site online is totally for me.
I leave a note for Breanna and head out to meet Trey. He’s already there when I get to the restaurant and he stands when I get to the table. He shakes my hand and sits down and I feel a little flustered. He’s very nice and very respectful and I can feel that I immediately like him. I just can’t tell if I like like him.
It’s not that I’m expecting instalove or an insta-connection. I mean, I do believe those things can happen, but it’s not very realistic to go on a date with those expectations. So I try to relax and not get too wrapped up in this first guy.
“Aubrey,” he says, smiling and seeming pleased with what he’s seeing. “A beautiful name for a beautiful woman.”
A little cheesy, but I let it slide. He does have nice eyes—dark and intense. As well as dark hair. Two major pluses for him in my book. “Thank you,” I say. I don’t know what to do with my hands so I sit on them while Trey asks me questions about myself. He’s tall and sort of intimidating and the way he looks down at me makes me feel like a little girl. I kind of like it.
I tell him about my experience as a sub, or lack of experience since Danny was my longest relationship and he never even attempted to do anything other than exactly what he wanted. In the middle of my rambling story about my relationship, I let it slip that I’m a virgin and I can tell that I have just become a hundred times more interesting to Trey.
I guess maybe it’s because I’m not a guy, but I’ve never understood what the big deal was with virgins. I don’t understand why guys seem to get all worked up over them when it’s such a silly thing. A certain specific body part is inserted into another specific body part. Big wow. But after I say the magic word, I can definitely feel that the atmosphere at the table has shifted. He is leaning in closer to me and his eyes have developed an almost predatory quality. Each word that comes out of his mouth is deep and measured and intent, like he has know what he was going to say in this situation for a long, long time.
There is a part of me that’s excited by him. I like the way he’s looking at me—the intensity in his eyes and the way he speaks in a commanding tone, even when he’s speaking softly. I wonder if I could do it, let him have complete control of me. I look into his eyes and imagine saying yes to every single thing he tells me to do. But as I try to picture myself giving everything of myself to him, I just can’t.
“Would you like to go back to my place,” he asks. He’s practically hovering over me now. I feel like a ca
rtoon mouse about to be eaten by the cat that’s been chasing me for the last fifteen minutes. He’s clearly savoring every second of my rapidly beating heart and my wide-eyed stare before he pounces on me and devours me whole.
“Okay.” The word comes out barely above a whisper.
On the way over to his house I’m talking to myself out loud in my car. Saying things like You don’t need to do this tonight, Aubrey, and It’s okay to take it slow. But the minute I get inside his house I start to panic. As soon as he looks at me I know there’s no taking it slow.
“Jesus Christ, you are so hot, Aubrey,” he says as he pins me to the wall next to the door. “I seriously didn’t think I’d find someone like you online.”
He presses himself up against my body so that I can’t move, then he grabs my wrists and pushes them into the wall above my head. I can’t deny that I am totally turned on. He’s hot and he’s sexy and I can feel his kisses all the way down to my pussy lips. My body starts to melt as his mouth trails down my neck, and when he reaches that super sensitive spot right at my shoulder, I moan.
“You like that, you little slut?” he says as he grabs a fistful of my hair and pulls my head back. “You’re mine now.” I can see in his eyes that he’s serious. They suddenly have a scary quality that makes me feel like I might have made the wrong decision.
“Hey … Trey,” I say, squirming to try and get free. “This feels like it’s going a little too fast.”
“Oh, no you don’t. You’re not getting out of this so easy,” he says as he yanks my head back. “And it’s Sir. Say it!”
“Sir.” I can’t believe he’s doing this and I can’t believe I actually call him that word. I haven’t agreed to call him Sir or Master or anything. I haven’t told him what I want. I have no idea what he’s going to do to me. But I’m too scared to say any of those things to him. I hate myself so much for letting him take control like this. I want to stop him, but I can’t.
