Seth was struck, both by the words and the fact that his father hadn’t stumbled over them at all. “I’m not sure I know who I am without Beth.”
“Beth answered a need in you. The needs of a young, inexperienced man,” his dad said. “You are in a different place, and what you need has changed. When you meet the woman who meets them you will know. It won’t make the love you feel for Beth any less. She’ll still be there.”
“But how did you know it was Grace?’
“Once I realized she was the first person I wanted to tell when something good happened. Or something bad. When I woke up and had her on my mind. That’s how you’ll know, too. Are you… asking because of… Amy? Do you think… she is what… you want?”
Seth chuckled inwardly. His father’s speech had been perfectly clear when talking about Grace, but any other subject brought forth halting words. That had to mean something.
Unfortunately, Seth didn’t have an answer. “I don’t know.”
His dad leaned back and folded his arms. “I didn’t… think so. So… who has you… tied in… knots?”
Another question he couldn’t answer. “No one, Dad.”
For a moment, Seth thought his father might press. Instead, John Graham shook his head. “Stubborn.”
“How am I stubborn?”
“You get it… from me,” his dad said, lips pulled down in a sort of half-frown. “Won’t see… the truth… until it bites you… in the rear.”
“What are you talking about?”
“You are not… ready to hear it. The answer to… all your questions is simple… but you will have to… take a leap of faith… to find it. You will have to… listen to your heart and… learn to let go.”
“I’m not sure I can.”
“You’re my son,” John Graham said clear as day. “Of course you can.”
Chapter Twenty-Nine
“Miss Richardson, you’ve put Councilman Granger’s wife next to Councilman Ingall’s wife.”
Julia’s current job was to mark out where the chairs would go for the ceremony with little red flags. She’d been hunched over in a very uncomfortable position for far too long. A glance to her right revealed the tips of Mrs. Manning’s navy blue pumps. Julia had been hoping to avoid the mayor’s wife today to no avail. Mrs. Manning had interrupted six times already.
As she straightened, Julia had to remind herself that the flags were meant to go in the ground and not in someone’s eyes.
“I’m sorry?” Julia asked.
“Isabelle Granger is seated next to Nadine Ingall.”
“Okay?”
Had that come across as too flippant? Must have because Mrs. Manning’s nostrils flared like a bull after spotting a red cape.
Mrs. Manning looked down her nose at Julia. Quite a feat as the mayor’s wife stood a good six inches shorter. “Please reassign their seats.”
“Why do they need to be separated?”
Madam Pain In My Rear stalked away before Julia could get an answer.
“Isabelle Granger and Nadine Ingall can’t stand each other.”
Julia spun around. Her erstwhile second assistant had appeared out of nowhere. “Hi, Amy. Did you finish up with the plantation manager?”
Of course, Amy nodded. “Yes, it was a successful meeting.”
“That’s good. What were you saying about the Granger and Ingall women?”
“They hate each other.”
Oh, a small-town feud. Interesting. “Why?”
“They haven’t spoken since Isabelle accused Nadine of cheating her out of the Miss Barley & Grain crown.”
Well that seemed pretty tame. “A beauty pageant?”
“Our most prestigious beauty pageant,” Amy said. “The winner goes on to the Miss Southern Jewel pageant.”
“Oh, that does sound prestigious.”
Was she flippant again? Julia imagined so. Amy’s pretty blue eyes were shooting ignorant Yankee infidel vibes.
“One year the Miss Barley & Grain Queen went on to win Miss Southern Jewel and then to the Miss South Georgia Pageant,” Amy said.
Julia decided to avoid a flippant comment so she could get to the real story. “Where does the feud come in?”
“Isabelle had won every local pageant in three counties, and she was the favorite, but Nadine ended up winning. Isabelle accused her of persuading one of the judges to vote for her.”
Oh, juicier and juicier. “What kind of persuasion are we talking about? Did Nadine do favors for the judge?”
“She made a cake.”
“A cake?” Julia asked in bemusement. “That’s it?”
“Nadine always won the baking contest at the local county fair, and everyone knew Horace had a sweet tooth.”
“Crowned by chocolate,” Julia said. “Beautiful.”
“After that they swore never to speak to each other again, and they haven’t.”
“How long ago was this pageant?”
“Twenty-two years.”
“They haven’t spoken to each other all this time because of a cake?” Julia asked in disbelief.
Amy seemed to grasp the silliness of the ancient feud and gave a rather embarrassed shrug. “Perhaps their egos won’t allow them to be the first to apologize. If you don’t need me here, I can head back to the office to redo the seating chart. I’ll look it over to make sure there aren’t more mistakes.”
“I hardly think not knowing about a twenty-two-year-old cake war qualifies as a mistake.”
Amy’s eyes widened like a kewpie doll. “I wasn’t accusing you of anything. It’s just that you might not know these little details since you’re not from here.”
Taking a deep, calming breath, Julia fixed a pleased smile on her lips. “Sure, you go ahead and look over the list. Don’t want any cat fights over the salmon cakes.”
“Salmon puffs.” So saying, Amy sashayed across the lawn. Julia watched the other woman go, wondering if a walk like that was learned or if came naturally from generations of Southern breeding.
“I’d like to puff her right in the mouth,” Julia grumbled, bending down to try and finish her flag planting for the hundredth time, and vowed to shoot herself before ever agreeing to do a favor for Sarah again.
****
Near sundown, Julia dragged herself home. Her back ached, her knees hurt, and her feet felt like an elephant had stomped on them. She literally hobbled up the stairs to her room.
Nice. She’d turned into a ninety-year-old woman.
Attempts to sleep proved fruitless. Closing her eyes brought images of Amy and Seth dancing yesterday. They’d looked so… right. So perfect. All that blonde sweetness next to his dark hotness.
“Agh!”
Forget it. Rolling out of bed, she grabbed the phone, and dialed Meredith’s number.
Meredith picked up on the first ring. “Hello?”
“Do you run?” Julia asked.
“Not if I can help it.”
“You can’t help it today,” Julia said. “Meet me at Lake Rice.”
“Something wrong?”
“My whole life is wrong.”
Meredith gave a little laugh. “I’ll be there in half an hour.”
Meredith stood waiting by the path when Julia ran up. “You came on foot?” she asked, her nose wrinkling in distaste.
“That’s the point of going for a run,” Julia said.
Julia insisted they stretch before they set off. In deference to Meredith’s strenuous objection to real exercise, they walked. Silence enveloped them for several minutes, but Julia could feel Meredith glancing over every so often.
Finally, Meredith had apparently waited long enough. “You’re going to have to give me a clue as to why we’re here.”
Something in her friend’s gaze caused the floodgates to open, and Julia poured out the sad tale of her life. About her parents and the marriages. About the stepparents, the breakups, the shuttling back and forth, her brief stint in Covington Falls as a teenager, and all the years
since when she’d decided to put her faith in building a career.
Meredith didn’t say anything for the most part other than to offer an occasional, “no way” or “that’s awful” when required.
When Julia finally wound down, Meredith shook her head. “At least now I understand why you sounded so wrecked on the phone. And why you’ve been so skittish about Seth. You’re essentially surrounded on all fronts by the very things you’ve sworn to avoid in life. Weddings, love, and God.”
They rounded the corner, and the entire lake came into view. The setting sun performed a miraculous ballet on the surface of the water, and Julia could almost feel those golden, shimmery flecks draining the tension from her body. At the next curve Covington Falls came into view.
Meredith slowed to take in the sight. “I’ve seen these falls more times than I can count, but I always forget how beautiful it is out here.”
Julia left the path and reached down to trail a hand through the cool water. She turned to watch the falls flowing over the rocks, letting the sound soothe her soul.
“You look like you’re ready to pass out,” Meredith observed.
“I’m not very good at talking.” Julia kicked at a small rock on the ground. “Not about feelings anyway. I don’t do so well with those in general. They make me itchy.”
“You say that as if you’re trying to remind yourself about this apparent lack of character.”
The rock came loose, and Julia reached down and picked it up. Ran her thumb over the water-smoothed surface. “I don’t need reminding. I know this about myself.”
Meredith grabbed the stone. “Well, I think it’s a cover.”
Julia’s head snapped around. “A cover for what?”
“It makes it easier for you to keep your distance,” Meredith said, tossing the rock in the air. “Tell yourself you’re not capable of caring so you don’t even have to put your foot in the water. From what you told me about the screwy way you grew up and the dysfunctional relationship you have with your parents, I’m not surprised. The thing is, Julia, you are not your parents.”
“What’s that mean?”
“Don’t you realize you have successfully escaped the pattern they set?” Meredith asked, waving the rock in Julia’s face. “The one you seem so sure you’re going follow if you dare to try and have a relationship?”
“I don’t even know what you just said.”
“I’m saying I think your biggest fear is that you’ll turn out like your parents. Unable to keep a commitment. Hurt people who’ve put their trust in you. Isn’t that the root of all this angst?”
Julia had never had it put quite that way, but she realized with a start that her new friend was right. Her commitment phobia wasn’t about not believing in love. It was about her not believing she could love someone without screwing it up. “I suppose so.”
“You pushed Seth away, and even threw him at my sister, to protect him because you were sure you would end up hurting him.”
“Right. Like I told Sarah, I only want Seth to be happy.”
“Julia, don’t you get it?” she asked, holding her arms out wide. “That’s called love. Putting another person’s happiness before your own. It’s what your parents were never able to do, but you’ve done it.”
“I have?”
Meredith laughed. “Don’t look so stunned. If you’d ever stopped running from God long enough to open up a Bible, you’d understand.”
“Why?”
“Because, it’s exactly what Christ did for us. He sent His only Son to die for us because He loved us.”
“You mean I’m not an emotional cripple?”
A wry smile was her answer. “Wounded maybe. That you can get over. I think you can have a very healthy relationship if you’re brave enough to try.”
“What if I try and it doesn’t work? This family is all I have. If it ends badly, I’d lose not only Seth, but the rest of them as well.”
“That’s fear talking again,” Meredith said, shaking her head. “More reasons to hold back. Turn the question around. What if it did work out, and you could make Seth happier than he’s ever been? What if everything in your life has been leading to the two of you making a new life together?”
“Wait, I think I’ve heard this one.” Julia put a finger to her temple, and then snapped her fingers. “This is all part of God’s plan, right?”
Meredith ignored the sarcasm. “I would never presume to know God’s plans for anyone. That has to come from your own heart.”
“Copout.”
Planting her fists on her hips, Meredith stood. “All right, you want an opinion? Six months ago, could you have imagined you’d reconnect with this family? That you’d run a wedding planning business and love doing it?”
“Who says I love it?”
“I do, and if you’re honest you’ll admit it, too,” Meredith said, without even a crack of a smile. “Can I finish my point?”
Properly chastised, Julia nodded. “Sorry.”
Meredith dropped her arms and gave a sheepish smile. “Actually, I think I already made it. Could you have imagined any of this? Realizing that you do belong to a family? Discovering that you’re loved? That you are capable of loving someone?”
“No.”
“So, don’t you think it’s possible that God brought you here for this purpose? To find Seth again? To heal him, and let him heal you?”
Julia stared, astounded someone who didn’t know her that well had managed to explain her entire life in less than ten minutes. “I guess it’s possible.”
Meredith smiled as if Julia was a prized pupil. “I’d say it’s very possible.”
“You think I should tell Seth?”
“That’s up to you. I think at the very least he deserves to know how you feel. That way he can make a real decision; not one based on something he thinks you want.”
Julia couldn’t help grinning. “I think I want to be you when I grow up.”
Meredith laughed, but then sobered a little. “I’m not sure you’d like my life the way it’s going right now.”
“Why? What’s going on?”
“There’s a Session meeting in about a half hour from now, and my employment is the topic of discussion.”
Julia gave a startled exclamation. “Oh, that’s tonight? Seth told me about that a couple weeks ago. Are they really going to try and have you fired?”
“Some of them. Seth says there are plenty of people who support me, but I don’t know…” Meredith bit her lip and pinched the bridge of her nose. “It’s just a job, I know, but it feels so personal.”
Julia put an arm around Meredith’s shoulders. “Hey, aren’t you the one who’s always going on about plans from above?”
“It’s easier to believe when it’s someone other than me.”
“Talk about a copout,” Julia scoffed. “Listen, I’m still not exactly sure what I think about God’s chess playing, but I do believe you will be fine no matter what happens. If God means for you to direct a church choir for the next thirty years, no roomful of pinched-faced, judgmental biddies will get in the way. Shoot, maybe He wants you to work in a bank or go pursue your music career again.”
Meredith shook her head. “Wow, that was surprisingly effective.”
Julia clasped her hands in front of her chest and bowed. “You taught me well, Teacher.”
“Now I want to be you.”
“Oh no you don’t. Then you’d have to deal with Catherine Manning.”
Meredith screwed up her face in a grimace. “Right.”
“Uh huh… bet a bunch of judgmental old men seem downright pleasant now. The way I see it, if I can handle Mrs. Manning and get Laurel safely hitched, I just might decide I can handle anything. Even a relationship.”
Chapter Thirty
Seth couldn’t remember the last time he’d been so nervous facing a group of men. Maybe when he’d gone before the Council for his final examination to become an ordained minister. Those men had held his
future in their hands, and in a way so did the ones before him now.
He looked around the room at the fifteen men who made up the Session. They varied in age from early thirties to mid seventies. They were lawyers, doctors, businessmen, teachers, handymen, and a farmer. Some of them he knew well, like Ethan Thomas’ brother Jake. Others he didn’t. Some of them still looked at him as the skinny kid he’d once been and had trouble seeing him as their pastor.
Harris Matheson was one of those men. A tall, austere man with a perpetual scowl, he was a holdover from the James Markham days. Harris was fond of reminding everyone how long he’d been around and how everything had been run differently back then. Of course, differently was a code word for better. He also seemed to think it was his job to steer the young whelp in the right direction.
Harris had been the one to call the Session meeting in the first place, and they’d barely gotten through the prayer before he stood to launch the first salvo.
“We’re setting a dangerous precedent by allowing this young woman to assume such an important position,” Harris stated. “She flaunted a lifestyle that goes against everything we believe, and now we’re supposed to act like it doesn’t matter?”
“Amen,” the man to Harris’ right said. Lawrence Bernhardt made up another third of the “Before Seth Graham” chorus. A prominent businessman, Lawrence had never been seen out in public in anything other than a three-piece suit to Seth’s knowledge. “If we condone Meredith Vining’s behavior, what kind of example are we setting for our youth?”
Emmitt Jackson, a pediatrician who’d moved to town about five years ago, cut in. “No one is saying we condone what Meredith did in her youth, but we all make mistakes. She deserves a chance to prove herself.”
Lawrence rounded on the younger man. “Maybe you don’t care if your children go down the path of unrighteousness, but others do.”
A vein throbbed in Emmitt’s temple, a clear sign he was trying to hold on to his temper. “I care what my children do. I’ve raised to them to know right from wrong, but if my son or daughter got into trouble, I’d hope that they wouldn’t have to be condemned for it the rest of their lives.”
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