by Sabre Rose
“How have you been?” he asked.
“Wonderful,” I replied. I didn’t mean to take such a sarcastic tone, but I was guarding myself. It slipped out unintentionally. “You?” I asked, slightly softer.
“Not so wonderful.”
I slunk down the wall until I was sitting on the ground, my knees tucked to my chest. “Is your dad okay? I saw him on the news.”
Tyler laughed nervously. “He’s off to rehab.” He twisted his hands hanging between his legs. “Come home.”
“Is that a question or an order?”
“Of course it’s a question,” he replied, making no attempt to hide his annoyance.
I looked over at him, pushing away the tears that had sprung to my eyes. “You yelled at me in front of all those people. You called me a liar. You said we were a mistake.”
“You kissed him!” Tyler yelled. He took in a deep breath, shoulders visibly rising and falling. “You kissed him,” he repeated this time more calmly.
“I did not kiss him, Tyler. He kissed me. There is a difference.”
“It didn’t look that way from where I was standing.”
“Well, that’s what happened but I can’t make you believe it. That choice is yours.”
I turned to face him, straightening my slouched position against the wall. “It’s something we can’t escape, Tyler. I was with Gabe before I was with you. It’s always going to be there. I knew it before we started dating but I just ignored it because I wanted you. I needed you.”
With his head hung low, he peered up at me through dark strands. “And now you don’t?”
“I—” My voice caught in my throat. “I think it would be best if I didn’t.”
“That’s not the same thing.” He shuffled closer, encouraged by my lack of conviction. “You still want me, Lauren, and I still want you. You have been all I can think about. Every day at work I’ve tried to push you out of my mind by dealing with the shit-storm Dad’s arrest caused, but I haven’t been able to do it. You’re there. All the time. Every second, every moment of the day. And at night… at night it is way worse. I’m drinking more than I’ve ever drunk just to try and drown your memory. Not because I want to forget, but because I can’t function knowing that you won’t be there waiting for me in bed, sleeping with your hair all in a mess over your face, your body twisted in the sheets.”
By this stage, he had moved closer and taken my hands in his. My skin burned under his touch. His thumbs traced circles over the soft pads of my flesh, causing ripples of longing that tingled through my body.
It took all my strength, but I pulled my hands away and stood, gaining some distance between us. “But you don’t trust me?”
“I don’t trust him,” Tyler corrected, also getting to his feet. “I’m not sure what you want me to say. I can’t stand the thought of you being around him. I don’t want you to have anything to do with him.”
“You can’t ask that of me. He’s your brother.”
“I can’t lie. I can’t change the way I feel. I saw you kiss him, Lauren.”
Stepping across the gap that existed between us, Tyler tilted my chin, lifting my gaze to meet his, looking deep into my eyes. Anger and temptation fought within. The temptation to melt into him. Say I was sorry for an offence I wasn’t guilty of just to feel his arms around me. Agree to avoid Gabe just to keep him happy.
And anger that he would demand that of me.
Then he kissed me.
Despite its startling beginning, it was gentle, almost as though it were a question. He deepened the kiss when he felt my lips respond to his and pulled me close, pressing my body against the firm lines of his, melding my flesh to fit his, reminding me of the way we felt. My hands lifted to thread through his hair as desire and emotion overwhelmed me. There were so many things wrapped up in that kiss, but I think the reason it lingered with me was because we both knew it was a kiss goodbye.
Tyler broke away first, pressing his forehead to mine, his hands still wrapped in my hair and mine in his. “I loved you, Lauren Greer,” he said, his voice breaking over my name.
Tears threatened but I pushed them away with sheer determination and lifted my chin, even though it wobbled.
Loved. He said loved, as in the past.
And then he was gone.
4
LAUREN
Stuffed into Mother’s small car, the trip back to the city was painful. Mother lectured me, scolding me for letting another good man go. She was certain I was going to go back to ‘that young man.’ But seeing Gabe was furthest from my mind. Despite him calling a significant amount of times, I had only talked to him once, after Morgan—fed up with me ignoring his calls—answered for me.
So when my cell phone rang, I was grateful that it was Sadie’s name that filled the screen. Grateful it wasn’t Gabe. Grateful the call would shut Mother up for a blissful few moments.
“Hey,” I answered, letting relief flood my voice.
“You okay? You sound like I’ve just rescued you from falling into a volcano or something.”
I glanced over at Mother and replied, “Close enough.”
“Anyway,” she said, “I hear you’re looking for a new place to live.”
“News travels fast.”
“He’s just worried about you.”
“I’m fine,” I said forcefully.
“No place to live, no place to work, but you’re fine.”
“I’ll sort it.” I just didn’t know how or when.
“Well,” she said with a big sigh. “The thing is, I’ve got an extra room at my place.”
“I suppose this was Tyler’s suggestion.”
“As I said, he’s worried about you. But it wasn’t exactly his idea, he simply advised me of your situation and I have a spare room. It was a team effort. But anyway, it doesn’t matter who came up with the idea, it matters if you’d be keen.”
I let silence prevail for a few seconds. Living with Sadie would solve the problem, but it would do little to keep me away from Tyler. And with my emotions tossing between pissed off and missing him, I didn’t think I could trust myself to be around him. Ironic. Not only did Tyler not trust me, I didn’t trust myself. The only difference was who we didn’t trust me to be around.
Sadie took my silence as hesitation. “It’s not as though you’ve got other offers, and Tyler’s already promised that he will not darken our door. Unless you invite him to.”
“I’ll think about it.”
Sadie sighed again. “What’s there to think about? Come on, Lauren. It would just be the two of us. I’m finishing up working in a few days and then we can concentrate on our business. You’ve remembered we have that meeting at Haven’s Rest, haven’t you?”
“It’s a hard one to forget.” It was to be our first attempt at producing a marketing campaign.
“I’ve come up with a name by the way.”
“A name for what?” I asked.
“Our company.”
I waited but she didn’t continue. “Which is?” I finally asked.
“Okay, give it a minute before you respond.”
“Okay,” I agreed cautiously.
“Slag.”
“Slag?” I repeated, my voice rising.
Mother glared at me from the driver’s seat. “That’s not a very nice word, Lauren.”
“I told you to give it a minute,” Sadie said.
“Why Slag?”
“Because it means to talk about someone, or something, you know, like marketing. Getting the word out there.”
“But it means talking about someone in an insulting way, not a positive way, and it generally is in reference to women.”
“But that’s what makes it so great. We’re women. We can claim the word, turn it into whatever we want. You’ve got to admit that people will remember it.”
“They will,” I agreed. “I’m still not sure if that’s a good thing.”
“We’ll talk about it more when you arrive. Tyler’s already
organised for all your stuff to be shipped to my place.”
“He has?” My voice broke.
“Oh, I’m sure he just wanted to make it easier for you. Though Smudge is still back at the loft, slinking around like someone stole his milk. I tried picking him up to bring him here but I think he hates me.”
“He hates everyone,” I replied.
“So it’s sorted then. I’ll see you when you get here.”
* * *
Mother didn’t want to travel home in the dark, so she simply dropped me at Sadie’s and drove away, leaving me clutching a small bag and staring at the house that would become my home. Wedged between two other houses, it looked small and out of place amongst the more opulent homes on the street. The white paint was faded, some of the wooden planks were damp with rot, and one of the windows had a giant crack splitting through the middle. A broken concrete path and uneven steps led up to the entrance.
Taking a deep breath, I dragged my bag up the crooked stairs and knocked on the door.
“It’s open,” Sadie shouted.
Pushing with my shoulder, the door creaked as it swung open. Sadie stood dressed in yoga pants and a baggy sweatshirt. She had a tea towel slung over her shoulder, reminding me of Peta.
“You made it,” she said, walking over and wrapping her arms around me, squeezing tightly. “Welcome to your new home.” Sadie swept her arm around the space. “It’s not much, and nothing like you’re used to, but it’s warm.” She led me down the narrow hallway, stepping over piles of magazines stacked against the walls. “It may come as a bit of a surprise, but I’m a bit of a slob at home.” She flashed me a grin. “Sorry.”
She wasn’t wrong. I secretly wondered if she had hoarding tendencies. There were piles of stuff everywhere. Clothing either ready to go into the wash or waiting to be folded, crowded one of the doorways.
Everywhere I looked there was clutter. It contradicted everything I thought I knew about her. The Sadie I knew was clean, organised to a fault, and groomed to perfection. Her office space was spotless and nothing was out of place. Clearly her personal life was a little different.
“This,” Sadie said, fighting with the door opposite her bedroom before it swung open, “is your room. Tyler’s already dropped your things around and set up your bed and stuff.”
“My bed?” I entered the room and sure enough a double bed had been erected against the far wall, complete with bedding. “I didn’t have a bed at Tyler’s place.”
Sadie waved her hand, dismissing my comment. “Yeah, but Tyler said your stuff was rented out along with your house and I didn’t have a spare. I’ve got the receipt if you want to change it.”
I shook my head. “It will be fine.”
Sadie strode across the room and opened the wardrobe. “I’ve hung most of your clothes but there’s still another couple of boxes over there for you to unpack.” Clapping her hands together, Sadie grinned. “It’s going to be so good having you here. I didn’t like it when Saxton moved away. I hated living with my brother but I’ve hated living alone more.”
Picking my way through the maze of boxes, I sat on the edge of the bed, suddenly feeling worn.
Sadie sat beside me. “It’s going to be good, you’ll see.” She patted my knee before standing. “You get everything sorted and I’m going to cook us tea. Correction, I’m going to attempt to cook us tea. I’m not that good at it. Last time I tried to cook pasta it caught on fire. No shit. Might have been something to do with the lack of water, but hey, a girl has got to start somewhere, right?”
Sadie shut the door behind her, the base crunching over the uneven wooden floor. I sat and looked around the room. It was small and smelled a little funny, but it was mine. With a renewed determination, I got off the bed and started to unpack the boxes strewn over the floor. I didn’t remember having this much when I moved into Tyler’s, but apparently I had collected a lot over the months we lived together.
Once my clothes were unpacked, my books stacked neatly in two piles on either side of the bed to act as nightstands, a rug thrown over the cold wooden floors and my shoes in a line under the window, I flopped onto the bed and opened my laptop. It took a few seconds to whirl into life and then I somewhat hesitantly opened Facebook. The first notification I noticed was a message from Peta. I felt bad about not updating her with what was going on with my life, but the truth was I just didn’t feel like discussing it with anyone, even if she was my best friend. Her message was all capitals, screaming her displeasure.
I TAKE IT YOU’VE LOST YOUR PHONE?
And that was the entirety of the message. Reaching across to my handbag, I tugged my phone out and plugged it in to charge. After a few minutes of scrolling through my newsfeed on my laptop, ignoring where people had tagged me in the comments of posts relating to the Thornton’s, and trying not to stare at the photos of Tyler for too long, my phone flicked into life. I dialled Peta and spent half an hour explaining the last few days of my life. As soon as I hung up, a screaming beep sounded through the house. I opened the bedroom door to find Sadie in the hallway, flapping a tea towel in the direction of a smoke alarm.
“Shut up!” she yelled. “I haven’t even started cooking yet, you idiotic thing!”
“Everything okay out here?”
Sadie looked at me sheepishly. “How do you feel about takeaways?”
* * *
Food devoured and wine consumed, Sadie and I sat on the couch in the lounge, staring at the television. The wine had dulled me a little and warmth crept up my insides. The house didn’t seem as cluttered as when I had first arrived, but I wasn’t sure if it was because I had grown accustomed to it, or if Sadie had had a clean-up. On the way to collect dinner, we had stopped by Tyler’s loft and collected Smudge who was now sitting on the back of the couch, staring out the window with wide eyes and flat ears.
Walking into the loft was strange. Even though Sadie had told me that Tyler wouldn’t be home, it didn’t stop my heart from racing as we rode the elevator and the door rolled open. Part of me hoped I would walk out and find Tyler on the couch, dressed like he usually was when he was done for the day; shirtless, grey sweatpants, and black glasses sitting across his nose.
He wasn’t.
Smudge hadn’t been difficult to find. He was stretched out in his usual sun-drenched spot. When we left, I put my key on the kitchen bench, my heart constricting a little at the thought that I wouldn’t get to use it again.
But it was what I wanted.
“So,” Sadie said, stretching out on the couch beside me, her feet planted in my lap. “You haven’t said what you think of the name yet.”
“Slag?” I replied, taking a sip of wine to cover my smirk.
“Still not winning you over?”
“It’s clever, I guess.”
“You guess? Have you got a better idea?”
“We could play with our names?”
Sadie rolled her eyes, swirling the red wine around the glass tumbler. “What an original concept. Sadie Anderson & Lauren Greer. Or maybe just Anderson Greer.”
“Who says your name will go first?”
“Fine. But Greer Anderson doesn’t have the same ring.” Sadie lifted her brows, eyes sparkling. “Sadie, Lauren, Anderson, Greer, get it?”
“Get what?” I replied.
“Our initials. They literally spell Slag. See?” she said, just as a knock sounded at the door. “It’s meant to be.”
Sadie fought with the front door before it finally groaned open. “Oh,” she said. “It’s you. What do you want?”
“Is Lauren here?”
At the sound of my name, I poked my head around the corner to look down the hallway. The person waiting at the door was hidden by Sadie leaning against the doorframe, arms crossed.
“For you, no,” Sadie said, her voice dripping with disdain.
Gabe pushed Sadie aside and strode up the hallway. I quickly ducked back to the couch and managed to throw my feet up and start scrolling through my phone
as he walked into the lounge. Wearing baggy jeans and a tight fitting t-shirt, he walked towards me and my heart lurched a little as he dumped himself on the couch.
“Hey you,” he said.
“Hey,” I replied.
“Finally got that phone fixed, huh?”
“Peta said the same thing.”
“So it’s not just me you’re ignoring.”
“I wasn’t ignoring anyone. I just needed a few days to myself. And I did answer.”
“Once,” he corrected.
Sadie came back into the room, grabbed the wine bottle from the bench and sauntered back over to take a seat. “Feel free not to make yourself at home.” She threw a daggered look Gabe’s way.
“I’m just here to check on Lauren,” Gabe replied, narrowing his eyes and glaring at Sadie.
“Well, as you can see, she’s fine.” She took a large gulp from her wine glass then promptly replaced the liquid she had just consumed.
“She is also right here and can speak for herself,” I added.
“If Tyler’s not allowed to come over, I don’t see why he should be.”
“I never said Tyler’s not allowed over.”
“Tyler’s not allowed over?” Gabe repeated. “So things are really all over for you two?” There was a fragment of hope in his tone.
“Yes,” I said at the same time as Sadie said, “Temporarily.”
“I’m sorry.” Gabe lowered his head, toying with a thread from a tear in his jeans. “I shouldn’t have kissed you.”
“Damn straight,” Sadie spat out.
“I just couldn’t resist, you know. I just had to try.”
“I just had to try,” Sadie echoed, mocking Gabe. “She was with Tyler. You should have had more respect.”
“Like he did when I was with her?”
“That was different,” Sadie said.
“Different how?”
“Enough,” I cried, putting up my hands. “I know you’re sorry, Gabe, and I forgive you. But it still doesn’t change anything. Tyler doesn’t trust me. So how about we just change the subject. How’s work? I honestly never thought I’d see the day that you worked for your father. Not after the way you used to go on about him.”
