“Yes, yes, I understand. Why would it get me in trouble with the Protectors though?” I would think they would want to know, but James looked extremely concerned.
“We don’t know how many people are on our side anymore. If Emma teamed up with the werewolves and we didn’t know, we have no way of knowing who else might be involved with them, too. I’d rather not tell anyone, just in case that message gets back to the wrong people. If they knew they didn’t need to wait on a child, they might act quicker. Whoever ‘they’ is.”
We were all in agreement. Nothing would be mentioned of Devon coming back to life. We were also going to wait a day before James went to Emma. In the meantime, Caroline and Nick would go tell the guards watching her that I had died. They wouldn’t say it to her, so she wouldn’t have reason to get suspicious, but they knew she would be listening and overhear the words. Hopefully she would get arrogant before James showed up, thinking everything was going according to her plan.
Caroline and Nick walked out and I was left in James’ bedroom, alone with him. It was not something I thought would have been allowed to happen since he had tried to be strict on the Protector – Protectee relationship guidelines. I can’t imagine being in his bedroom alone was being safe. He had come to sit back down next to me.
“You should get some more rest, Ariya.”
“James, I’m fine. I feel completely healthy, like nothing happened.”
It was true. I did feel good. I felt confident, just as I had earlier that semester when Caroline had helped me.
“I have the same feeling that I had from Caroline’s blood the first time I had it.”
James smiled, smugly. “It wasn’t Caroline’s blood this time.”
I looked at him quizzically. “Well then, whose was it?”
“It was mine.” My jaw dropped.
“But, you said our blood couldn’t ever mix.”
“You were dying and I had to take a chance. I fed you my blood, but you didn’t wake up. I was so worried I had done something wrong, but I didn’t know what other choice I had. I picked you up and carried you back here. Then we all just waited for you to wake up.”
I wasn’t sure what to say. James had betrayed everything he believed in to save my life.
“Thank you,” I said, meekly.
“Thank you” didn’t begin to cover it. Whether it was his job or not, he came running into that warehouse with no idea what he’d be getting into, and he never once looked afraid – except for a small moment when he couldn’t get through the bars to me quickly enough.
“I couldn’t let you die.” He had been looking down, but when he said that, he raised his eyes to meet mine.
“James, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to mess things up. I just…I just couldn’t let her go after the people I…people I care about.“ I started to say people I love, but thought this wouldn’t be the best time for that conversation, since I was sure now more than ever James was hell-bent on being a strict Protector.
How could I try and explain that he gave me the strength to fight? I respected and admired him. I wanted to tell him that, but he interrupted, speaking up before I had a chance to start my rambling again.
“Ariya, I know what you thought you were doing, but it’s not your job to protect us. We can take care of you and ourselves.” He sighed and put his forehead against mine.
My heartbeat sped up, which I know he heard. He hesitated in the movement he was making and shadows crossed his face as if he was thinking about something. Then he looked back towards the window.
The vampire blood had made me confident, just as it had before when I had resolved to ask him to be my partner at Halloween, even though he beat me to it. That was before I had even known he was a vampire. I had been a goner then, and now add in that he was willing to risk his own life for mine, how could I not fall for him?
“James,” I whispered and leaned over from where I was sitting.
He had saved my life. I didn’t want to play this round-about game anymore, pretending we didn’t feel anything. Stolen moments of weakness weren’t enough for me any longer. It couldn’t be enough for him, either, not after everything that had happened. I had learned life could change in a moment and I wanted to cherish everything.
I grabbed his shirt and pulled into him to kiss him. He didn’t pause for a second. His hands were in my hair immediately. It wasn’t like the other kisses we had, slow and passionate. It was hungry. He had been scared and now we were safe. I thought he would break away, but he didn’t. Instead, he began to adjust me so that I was lying down. He pulled my legs down further so that my head was resting on the pillow. Not once did he break from my lips in the process of adjusting me.
“At least I can pretend you’re resting like this,” he whispered and went right back to kissing me.
I don’t know what had changed in him, but I didn’t want him to stop. My whole body needed him. I felt like my heart was going to pound right out of my chest. I pushed myself into him as hard as I could, eliciting a groan out of him. Smiling uncontrollably, I wrapped my arms around his neck. His mouth was causing flames to lick at my body and I was overwhelmed with the need for him to be closer. I shifted slightly to wiggle underneath him, but he wasn’t budging.
“Ariya,” he said, softly, almost hesitantly.
“Don’t you dare finish that with ‘we can’t do this.’”
He chuckled and pulled back a bit. “I don’t think I can be your friend anymore.”
He was looking at me intensely and moved his hand to trace his fingers along my jaw line. He stroked my cheek with his thumb. I closed my eyes and breathed him in.
“Why’s that?” I asked feeling embarrassed for a second that my voice was coming out so shaky.
His face turned serious. “Ariya, as a Protector, we have a dull constant fear in us when our protected is in danger. There have been times where that has happened to me before, with other members of the line. I feel fear, but then I can get into action and figure things out quickly without getting overly emotional about the situation. It’s what we are trained to do. We analyze and act. It’s almost as if we are machines.”
“When we came out of the theater and couldn’t pick up a scent or a trail to even begin to find you, it was crippling. It wasn’t the same fear I’d had before. I think the thing Devon and especially Emma least expected was for me to call for help. My father, he’s extremely well known. I’ve told you about our strained relationship. I don’t tell many people that my grandfather was one of the original Protectors and that’s why the three of us, my grandfather, father, and I have always been so powerful. My father has instilled a strong sense of duty in me, because his father instilled it in him.”
“Calling him and admitting any kind of defeat is unacceptable, punishable. I didn’t hesitate, though. I wanted everyone here, everyone helping. I’ve never felt that before. It’s not because I’m supposed to be protecting you. It’s because after watching over you, and being around you the past few years, I can’t bear to think about even one day that you’re not there. It’s not because you’re my job, it’s because I need you. That’s the most selfish thing I’ve ever said to someone, because it isn’t fair with everything else on your plate, but there it is. I don’t care anymore about duty and the rules that I’ve lived by. I stayed away and it didn’t keep you safe. So now, if you’ll have me, I’ll just keep you as close as possible.”
My heart was bursting, and the expression of his feelings had taken me completely by surprise. I didn’t think it was possible that this would actually be discussed again. It was not what I was expecting after everything we had just been through. He was gorgeous, both inside and out, kind, protective, and as angry as he made me, he had my welfare so high on his list that he was willing to push the things he wanted aside to do what he thought was right. I had tears in my eyes.
“Sorry, emotions.” He smiled and stroked my hair back again.
I loved the feeling of his hands running through
my hair. With everything going on and even knowing that Emma was still alive, he made me feel safe and sound. He was everything I needed and I didn’t care about duty, either.
“Honestly, James, do you have to ask if I’ll have you?”
He smiled and leaned in to kiss me again. He pulled me close into his chest and my body involuntarily shuddered against his. His lips were so soft and I pressed into him. His hand moved to my lower back drawing me in so close I thought our bodies were going to meld together. He rolled up on top of me and I threw my arms around his neck again. My breathing was getting embarrassingly heavy now and I hoped he didn’t think I was a weirdo.
His hand traveled up the length of my leg and I rocked my hips up into him. When he wrapped his hand around my waist right at my hipbone, I thought I might pass out from the excitement. He broke the kiss, which was when I noticed that his breathing was also coming out ragged. At least I wasn’t alone.
“Ariya, you have to rest.” He spoke as if it took all his will power to stop himself.
The trance I had been in broke for a moment when a thought came into my head about James mentioning he had done something punishable.
“What did you mean when you said punishable? Calling your father was punishable. Are you in danger?”
That made him a laugh. A full out, beautiful sounding laugh that I hadn’t heard in months, and it made my heart ache with joy at the sound of it.
“It’s nothing I can’t handle.”
Whatever was going to happen with Emma and the werewolves, at this moment I was content. I could care less about the outside world. Nothing could steal this moment from me. James looked away for a moment and smiled to himself.
“What is that for?” I questioned. It was a smile, but it seemed sad.
“I was thinking about when my mother died.” He paused before looking at me again. “When my mother died, my father shut down. She was a human, too. I don’t think I told you that. Werewolves had taken her, and that was a death sentence, so he barely had to look for her before we received a sign from them that she was killed. I turned my sadness into anger, he turned his into despair. I went to my grandfather and told him my father, in his state, couldn’t protect someone as well as I could. My grandfather turned me. I received all my training from my grandfather. My father and I, we would scream at each other if we had to be in the same room. I couldn’t understand how he could let his emotions get in the way of his life work and he couldn’t understand why I was so angry all the time.”
“What made you think of that?” Pouring out his feelings for me didn’t seem like the kind of trigger for a sad memory.
“I’d never been in love when my mother died. Anger was easy. If I was a Protector, I could kill the werewolves and maybe find out who’d killed her. My father clearly loved my mother very much, so his response was different. I’m surprised I didn’t get yelled at for letting my emotions get in the way with you. Well, I should say did not get yelled at yet.” He smiled, looking at me like I was up on some sort of pedestal, which blew my mind.
I wasn’t sure how to respond to that. Did that mean James thought he loved me? I looked down at the pillow I was laying on. It felt like the story he told was more for himself to talk about than for me to answer.
“Now please, just pretend that you’ll sleep for a bit. It’s only 4 am.” He spoke up when I hadn’t said anything.
“I’m not tired, I promise.” I fought back, grabbing his shirt to try and pick up where we had left off moments before. He chuckled at my attempts.
“Your body is tired. Let it rest, Ariya. I won’t leave you.”
I would pretend if I had to just to keep him there. I pulled the blanket up closer to my chin and lay there while James pushed my hair back, over and over.
My body was tired. He was right. The pain was long gone, but lying there on the pillow, I realized that even vampire blood couldn’t take away the fact that I needed rest emotionally. With our meeting with Emma coming up, I knew I would be stressed again, and I could use a couple more hours’ sleep before anything happened.
James’ hands felt so good comforting me. Sleep started slowly coming. I blinked a couple times, but my eyes were getting heavier.
James was here. I was safe.
I smiled to myself and drifted more and more until the rhythm of James’ hand in my hair lulled me into a comfortable, peaceful sleep.
Chapter 16
James had been serious about not leaving me alone, which was fine because he was exactly where I wanted him to be. We were getting ready to head off to Emma to try and get some information from her. I was beyond worried.
“What if she sees through what you tell her and tries to hurt you? She’ll be angry if she knows you are lying.” The fear was coming through loud and clear in my voice.
“Hey, I’m older and stronger than her. Have a little faith in me. She’s also trapped and surrounded until she can be proven innocent. Which she won’t be. It’s going to be fine.” He tried to reassure me, stroking my leg as I sat on the couch next to him.
We had spent the day with Caroline and Nick, waiting for the time to pass until we went to Emma. Caroline was obviously ecstatic that James had finally let his guard down. She kept winking at me. We all had that feeling, I think. It was like we had all experienced some kind of joy that had come from making it through something horrible and coming out on the other side, stronger.
James was much more the guy I had met towards the beginning of the semester, now that he wasn’t holding anything back. He had been smiling for a whole day and not even his side smile, a real smile. It felt good to feel like he was happy, and that it was me that made him feel that way.
Caroline piped in now, “For goodness sake, Ariya, he’s ancient and Emma is crazy about him. He’s got the advantage.” None of them were the least bit concerned.
I nodded. The plan was going to move forward, whether I agreed to it or not. If I really thought about it, I still felt like it was a good idea. I just wanted everyone safe. That would ultimately happen if we could figure out who was behind Emma’s and Devon’s master plan since, based on Emma’s rant, she had received her instructions from someone else.
James kissed my forehead and we started heading to where they were keeping Emma. I was going along to listen in and see if I could tie anything together that I heard Emma say. I thought I had relayed everything to them, so I didn’t know how much help I would be, but they wanted me there. James had told me I had to stay quiet. I had an earpiece, so I’d be able to hear what was being said, and a notepad in case I caught anything to bring up later. James didn’t want to risk Emma hearing me if I spoke, so I could only listen, not speak, to James.
“Is she tied up?”
“No, Ariya, she’s just in a room that is guarded. Don’t worry about anything. We’ll get what we need and be done.” He laced his fingers through mine as we walked.
His motions were so human. Did he have to work hard to perfect them and blend in, or was it natural that vampires retained human character traits when they turned?
“What will happen to her?” I asked.
“I don’t know. She’s a threat, but she has information. We’ll just have to wait and see.” His face went hard then, and I had no doubt James would do whatever it took to keep her from attacking me again.
Would James really be able to kill her? She had been one of the members of the bloodline that he himself had protected. I shuddered for a minute. He stopped walking and took me by the shoulders.
“Whatever happens, this will pass and everything will be okay. You do trust me don’t you?”
I nodded. I couldn’t help being afraid, but I had to be strong like before and positive that this would all work out.
We arrived at an old house on the outskirts of town. I had thought this was one of the fraternity houses, but maybe it had cleared out for break. Or, maybe the vampire Protectors had cleared it out.
We walked into the house, and James brought his
finger up to his lips to remind me to be quiet. Once inside, I was handed an earpiece, and James attached a microphone inside his shirt. I couldn’t even tell it was there. It was like watching a crime detective show. We had to trap the criminal, the bad guy.
James touched my arm briefly and gave me a smile to reassure me. Before walking into the room where Emma was, he pointed to where he wanted me to be during this. I obeyed and sat down, ready to listen at what would unravel.
James stood at the door, looking down for a moment. He had messed up his hair and wrinkled his clothes before we had left the house to make himself look more believably disheveled. The door opened and closed and I heard him say Emma’s name.
“James!” she exclaimed. “James, I’m so sorry.”
There was a muffling against the microphone and I guessed she had pulled him in to hug him.
“I heard the guards talking about it. I don’t understand.” James wasn’t saying anything. “Please look at me,” Emma said softly to him.
Even in a moment of sadness, she still sounded fake as ever. Compassion really wasn’t one of her strong traits. I wasn’t sure it existed in her at all.
“It’s my fault, Emma.” He really sounded upset.
He was good at this acting thing, better than Emma had been, in my opinion, with just one sentence. I’d better make sure he wasn’t acting about his feelings for me. I’d give him a hard time for fun. I smiled to myself at that.
“No, James, it’s not. You called for help; you rushed to the spot we found her. There was no way to know what that monster was doing. Do you want to talk about what happened?” There was a hint of something in her voice that I couldn’t put my finger on. Did she want to confirm my death or hear the gory details?
“I shouldn’t have let her out of my sight, at the theater, at Thanksgiving. Emma, this was my responsibility. How do I come back from this?”
He slammed something and it sounded like whatever it was cracked. Geez, James this was an old house. Don’t bring it toppling down around you! He was trying to win her over and confiding in her, just as she wanted.
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