by Avery Cross
Chapter Ten
Briar
By the end of my first week at Academy, I was mentally exhausted, and that was just orientation. Zach was nicer, sort of. He backed off the lecturing as much, but we got into several different arguments when trying to narrow down what field I would be good in. I’d wanted to consider something within the government positions, but all my qualifying tests came back pointing me toward a career in the military.
I had no idea why. I didn’t do well with orders, I was a rebel, I hated uniforms, and the idea of being bossed around was not appealing at all. Or fighting, which was apparently a major part of my training here at Academy. When I asked Zach why I had to learn to fight at all, he just told me that’s how it had always been.
“More of a defense than anything,” he’d promised. “At least in the beginning. If you choose to do the military route, you’re training will become more offensive then defensive.”
“And this astral projecting thing?” I’d asked.
“It can come in handy during fights.”
“And there’s the fighting thing again,” I’d mused, and he changed the topic.
I knew plenty of kids in high school who went the military route, but this dealt with magic. It was on a scale completely different. He mentioned keeping the dark magic at bay a few times, and when I continued to pressure him about what he meant exactly, he’d directed me to the library with a huff and told me to read.
I’d disappeared inside for hours. The place was massive and had at least six stories up along with three more down below ground level. I found the historical section and barely started to pull books off the shelves before Zach had tracked me down and told me I was late for another set of tests, this time to see where my magic ability laid.
Those had been a laugh. Aside from accidentally setting my feet on fire a few times during times of emotional stress, and the one time with Zach, nothing happened. Nada.
And now it was Monday, the following week, and the first official day of the semester. The only bright side was I had most of my classes with Nyala, and finding out Carter had also chosen by fire, so I’d get to see him when I worked with my trainer, Professor Tapps. He’d even offered to show me some pointers outside of class. I was all for it, but I hadn’t brought it up with Zach yet.
I was sure he’d figure out eventually though. Not sure how much I could hide from him, and I was going to be spending a lot of time with Zach, more than I expected. Not only was he my mentor, but he would also be working with me on my spirit training, including astral projection. I doubted I could do that if I could barely do anything when asked to. Then again, he’d been around when I managed to see both occur in my dorm room.
“First class of the day,” Nyala announced after breakfast. “Looks like government. Oh, joy. Hated that class in high school.”
“Yeah, but this one is all about magic, right? Might not be so bad.”
“Look at you, being optimistic today.”
I rolled my eyes and ignored her comment. “So two normal classes today and then it’s straight into three training sessions. I’m going to be dead tired by tonight. That’s exactly how I wanted to spend my Monday.”
“And there goes the optimism,” Nyala mumbled.
“Really? I’m not that bad, am I?”
She shrugged, tossing her pretty blonde hair over her shoulder as she adjusted her top. “You have your moments. Think you’ve just been overwhelmed with everything going on and the tension between you and Zach doesn’t really help.”
I considered denying the tension, but she was right. Anytime I was around Zach, though he seemed to be better about not being so stiff. He was still overbearing, and I at least was ungodly confused with my emotions toward him. At times, I thought he might like me, then he’d go and shoot me an annoyed look, muttering under his breath, and the moment would disappear. Whatever. If he wanted to play the whole “I’m your mentor, and you can’t have any distractions card” that was fine by me.
Didn’t mean I couldn’t keep talking to Carter and see where that would lead. Not that I was actively seeking a guy, but after being snubbed by Jake, I suddenly found myself wanting to be able to text him a picture of me and Carter, see how he felt about it. I was tired of seeing pictures of him and Heather, happy at college. That was all he texted me about.
“You might want to stop thinking about whatever you’re thinking about,” a male voice said suddenly behind me.
Zach, of course.
“And why is that?”
“Your feet are on fire again.”
I cursed loud enough to draw the attention of every student within a fifty-foot radius and proceeded to glower at them all. “What? Got a problem with fire? It shouldn’t be that surprising. We are at an Academy of magic or whatever,” I ranted, stomping my feet until the flames finally disappeared. I glanced up to see Nyala and Zach watching me, one with a look of worry, the other concerned, not something I was used to seeing from Zach. “What?”
“Nyala, will you give us a minute?”
“Yeah, sure, I’ll see you in class.” She waved at me and hurried off.
“I’m still waiting,” I muttered.
Zach grunted, reached out, and grabbed my arm to pull me off the path and under a nearby tree on the grounds. “What is going on with you?”
“Nothing, I’m fine,” I snapped, wishing he would just go away and let me get to class.
“You look like you’re ready to set the place on fire,” he pointed out. “It’s your first day of real classes, and I suggest you get your attitude in check before you piss off your new professors.”
I glared at him. What did he know? Nothing. He didn’t have to deal with any issues in his life I bet. Everything was easy for him, went his way. He probably never had to question the decisions he made or what might happen if he failed out of his magical training. I felt my cheeks grow hot and now I suddenly wished I’d done something more with my hair then throwing it up in a messy bun. What did I care what Zach thought of me? I didn’t.
Or at least I shouldn’t.
“Shroud,” he said loudly. “Get out of your own head and take a breath. Whatever’s bothering you, deal with it later.”
Deal with it later. Get over it. Seriously? “Thanks, great mentor advice right there.”
I spun on my heel and stormed away from him.
“You have to talk to me eventually today,” he said as he caught back up with me.
“Not really. I just have to listen to you. There’s a difference.”
“You won’t have control of your abilities if you keep acting like this,” he warned. “I’m trying to help you. Emotions are tied to your powers. If you’re walking around pissed off all the time, your aura blaring bright red, what do you think’s going to happen?”
I stopped suddenly, and he struggled to do the same. “Don’t know, why don’t you tell me?”
He hesitated, glancing around at the students watching us closely. “You can fight me all you want, but at the end of the day I’m right, and you know it. Get to class. I’ll see you later.” He looked like he wanted to say more, thought better of it, and stalked away.
What did I care if he was angry? I didn’t ask him to be my mentor. Maybe I’d get lucky, and he would go to Hooke, see if I could get reassigned. As I stomped toward my first class, having to check the map three times to make sure I was headed in the right direction, a tiny voice in the back of my head asked why I was so angry in the first place? And at Zach. He’d come around after our first fight, back in my dorm. And then today for some reason I felt like it was day one with him all over again. With all of this.
I sighed, pausing to gather my thoughts before I walked into my first class.
I was never one to apologize to anyone, for anything, but it made me sick for some reason, thinking of Zach mad at me, not even knowing why I was so angry. I wouldn’t see him until this afternoon, but I’d find something to tell him and hope I could make things right betw
een us. Hated to lose one of my only two friends this early.
After lunch, I had an hour to kill, and then it was straight to my first day of actual training. I had to go back to my dorm and change into more appropriate attire, yoga pants, sneakers, and a tank was all I had, so that’s what I wore. I worried I’d look out of place, like I always had in PE over the years, but the other girls wore basically the same as me, and most of the guys were shirtless. That part I could’ve gotten used to.
My first session was hand to hand, but it was mostly just going through the motions of defensive positions as well as stretching and working out. My abs were screaming by the time we were done, but on the bright side, I doubted I’d gain a ton of weight.
I had a brief break and then was onto my first official fire training class. Carter was already there, and I was grateful to see we practiced out on the lawn, far away from any buildings I might accidentally set on fire. All elemental training was completed outside, each section of the lawn designated for a specific element and marked with a tall banner flying overhead. There were about thirty of us who were first-years and fifty who were mixed between second and fourth-years; all for fire.
I wasn’t sure how this session was going to go, and I groaned when Professor Tapps told us to find a partner who was in a different year.
“Don’t worry,” Carter said as he tapped me on the shoulder. “I’ll partner up with you.”
“You sure? I either set my feet on fire, or can’t summon it at all,” I warned, not telling him about the only other time I managed to get flames to appear was when Zach was around.
“Yeah, I’m sure,” he said with a friendly laugh. “There’s nothing to it, honest. By the end of the first lesson, you’ll be summoning fire like it’s second nature.”
We started by simply trying to pull a flame to our hand, clearing our minds. I did everything Zach had told me. I tried, but each time, the flames would sputter and go out within seconds.
Carter was patient, but I saw the confusion on his face, and by the end of the two hours, he looked like he was ready to not see me again until tomorrow. Not that I blamed him. Each time I couldn’t get my fire to appear, I’d get angrier. I’d apologized I wasn’t sure how many times to him and bet he regretted being my partner now.
I had a few minutes to find my way across the lawn to where I’d be training for my second element, when most students were done for the day. Lucky bastards.
The lawn backed up to the mountain’s inner cave wall, and I spotted the banner for spirit fluttering nearby. A cave; I was still having a hard time accepting we were in a cave since it was light enough to be a sunny afternoon. Something to do with magic, of course. There were a few pieces of equipment set up, training dummies, and circles created out of stones… and only one other person there.
“You’re kidding me,” I said as I approached, dropping my tote bag on a bench where a stack of books rested. “This is it?”
Zach shrugged as he turned to face me. “I told you it was rare.”
“No, you said aura readers were always needed,” I corrected. “Is it really this rare?”
“These past few decades it’s become more so,” he told me. “Professor Woods is who usually teaches me, but seeing as I’m a senior, he’s giving me an opportunity to shine by teaching you everything you need to know.”
I remembered how Carter looked after two hours with me. If Zach didn’t hate me yet, he would soon enough. I shifted on my feet, rubbing my hands together, but the words I rehearsed all day in my head were stuck somewhere between my churning gut and an annoyed voice in my head telling me I shouldn’t have to apologize for anything.
“You ready?” Zach asked.
And just like that, the moment for me to apologize passed.
His hands were planted on his hips, and he was wearing the same clothes he’d been in earlier. At least the next couple of hours might not be as exhausting as the rest of the day had been. Did his t-shirt really have to be that tight though? It stretched across his chest, and I saw solid muscle underneath. Hadn’t noticed it too much before, he usually had a plaid or black shirt over it, but not this time.
“Yeah, ready,” I mumbled, mentally kicking myself to stop checking him out.
“Follow me.” He turned his back to me, his face carefully blank.
Yeah, this was going to be fun. I trudged along behind him, and we stepped inside one of the stone circles. Three willow trees were planted around it, equal distance apart, their branches blowing lazily in the breeze. I was still working on how there was a breeze down here, too. Normal weather, at all, even. I briefly realized how much I missed seeing the night sky and a full moon overhead. Or stars winking at me from a window as I fell asleep in yet another new place.
“First rule of summoning the spirit element,” he held out his arms wide. “is you have to find your center.”
“I’m sorry, my what?”
His eyes narrowed. “Your center. What makes you Briar Shroud. The spirit element is more attuned to your emotions than any of the other elements, so it’s very important you take this process seriously and slowly.”
I bit my tongue, so I wouldn’t say something I’d regret, nodding instead.
“Have a seat, get comfortable,” he instructed and sat cross-legged in the grass.
I mirrored him, resting my hands palms upward.
“Now, take ten deep breaths in and let them out slowly, thinking the whole time about what makes you who you are. Find your center.”
I took my first breath, watching the willow tree branches blow behind Zach. What was my center? Certainly not anything that had to do with Mom. I let it out and took my second breath, narrowing my eyes on a leaf fluttering to the ground. What else made me who I was? I had a bad attitude; I doubted that was what he meant. I was a rebel… but what else? Rebel didn’t sound like a center to me. As I continued to breathe, a horrifying thought struck me.
I had no idea who I was. None.
I spent so much of my life bouncing around with a drug addict for a mom that brought home strange guys all the time, being thrown in and out of foster care. There was never a time when I got to sit down and figure out who I was. Now, I was a witch, but that was what I was, not who.
So who was I?
I hadn’t even realized I was staring fixedly until Zach waved a hand over my face and I jumped.
“What?”
“You went into a trance.” His brow furrowed with worry. “What were you thinking about so intently?”
“Nothing,” I mumbled. “Really, I guess I was just enjoying a break.”
He frowned “You have to talk to me.”
“There’s nothing to talk about.”
“Did you find your center?”
I hung my head, cringing. “Is it possible for someone not to have a center?”
“No, but stubbornness would be a good start.”
I glowered at him as I pushed to my feet. “I don’t need this today.”
“We’re not finished.”
“I am.”
“So you are a quitter. Called it.”
I whirled around, my hand clenched in a fist as I considered trying out some moves I learned today. His arched brow said I could try, but I’d wind up on my ass in a shot. I forced my fingers to uncurl and threw my hands up.
“Think whatever the hell you want. I don’t care.”
“Come on, Shroud.” He followed me to the bench.
“No, you called it, right? I’m sure you even have some bets going with your friends about how long it would take for me to give up. Well then, congrats to whoever bet a week,” I snapped, slinging my tote onto my shoulder. “I have homework.”
He grabbed hold of my arm, stopping me from storming off.
“You do know this is not just about a class, right? What we’re doing here is important. If you don’t learn how to control this power, it’ll use you one day, and potentially harm you and others. Is that what you want? Is it?”
&n
bsp; I had no idea what I wanted anymore. Just like I had no idea who I was. I tugged my arm free of his hold and marched away, ignoring him when he called after me. By the time I reached my quarters, the room was empty since it was dinner time, I had tears burning in my eyes.
I threw my tote on the bed and kicked my desk. What was I doing here? What made me think I’d be able to fit in anywhere?
I grabbed my shower kit and went to wash up, half hoping I could drown away my sorrows for a while.
Chapter Eleven
Zach
A week. An entire damned week passed, and all Briar managed to do was grow even more distant; I hadn’t even thought that was possible. No other mentor was having this much trouble with their student. Mine barely said two words to me every day now, even during our spirit training sessions.
And we’d gotten nowhere. Professor Woods checked in with her progress Friday, and I’d lied. Flat out lied to a professor. I’ve never done that before, ever. But I had to otherwise he’d be forced to deal with Briar, and I wasn’t about to dump her on anyone else.
“You going to eat?” Hunter asked, shoving a plate of pancakes toward me.
“Nah, not hungry.”
“This about that Shroud girl?”
“What do you think? I’m not getting anywhere with her. She won’t talk to me. I’m nice, and she shuts down more. What am I doing wrong here?”
He just shoved a pancake in his mouth and with his cheeks full asked, “Are you curious as a failing mentor, or because you hoped you’d be you know, further along with her?” He waggled his eyebrows at me for emphasis, and I glared at him. “What? Just saying, she’s not bad looking, and she’s definitely your type.”
“Hey, Zach.”
I turned around and forced a smile, waving at Sam, a girl from my combat class and her three giggling friends. I turned back around and hung my head groaning. “Do I have a sign on my forehead or something?”
“You’re single, and the whole Academy of girls knows it.”
“I’m going to start telling them you’re single.”
