by Barone, Cenz
Kenny was unsettled by Grant's tone. Just to hear someone say it as it was, even though he could not admit to it, so Kenny defensively said "I did not use the Z word Grant to describe this situation, you did. This is mass murder, people are going fucking crazy. Who knows why". Kenny felt his body tremble as he added with his voice shaking "People eating people" these were things he witnessed but he found it too hard to accept and say it was zombies, even though he moved in and out of acceptance but he had been rendered shaken by what he had heard Grant say so freely, plus Kenny had seen the images on television when he was in his hotel before he escaped from it, the hotel being miles away now. So Kenny angrily looked at Grant, resentful that Grant would bring up zombies.
In his own measure to find composure Kenny wanted to think that Grant was the crazy one. Kenny was just not eager to say it. Though he had thought it and said it before at least to himself, but the way Grant said it bordered on making him feel like he was insane. Grant continued unabated by Kenny’s tone or look, so Grant narrated “I swear to you Kenny this is a dream and I am hallucinating. You see what happened was I drank heavy last night and the television was on and there was a zombie film on, so I fell asleep before it. I am dreaming right now because of the booze and movie. That's right Kenny, I am dreaming and you my friend, with me this van and what is happening in these streets, you are a figment of my overactive alcohol inducted imagination".
Kenny was silent listening to Grant trying to rationalise everything to him. Kenny still only able to see the side of his face as Grant continued to drive slowly along the streets, the way Grant was speaking sounded deluded to Kenny, and it worried him. Grant was becoming upset and his voice trembled as he drove. Kenny immediately noticed Grants hands shaking on the wheel and due to being in the van for a while he had noticed Grant occasionally did this action with his shaking hands, but it was no different from his own shakes. Only it was far more severe when Grant did it Kenny felt because Grant was driving.
Grant continued to speak, sounding spaced out as though through drink "I am overworked you see and I am very stressed out. My wife has been telling me I need a vacation for so long. So all of this is just a dream and in my dream, me driving this van is my subconscious saying to me to drive away and take a break. Yeah, that is right, and as soon as I wake up the first thing I am going to do is take time off work. And then go spend a month in the Caribbean just flaking out on the beach". Grant smirked almost crazed in design as he gazed on the streets ahead through the night, dodging the strewn objects and burnt cars with ease but daydreaming at this hypothetical scenario.
He went on and said "Yeah mate. I will be sipping the most exotic drinks you can think of, and eating out in those most laid back of restaurants well into the night. And when my boss enquires as to when I am coming back I will say sorry sir" Grant chuckled at himself. Kenny felt uncomfortable due to Grant seeming to pick up speed but he nevertheless was artfully moving along the urbanised street at this time, avoiding the objects in the vans path. Grant continued with an amused tone to his voice "Sir I will say. The information has been lost and is somewhere in the drunken memory of my mind. Give me a raise and I will return”. Grant weakly laughed to himself and he struggled to compose his demeanour, sounding so erratic to Kenny at this point, Kenny was contemplating demanding Grant pullover but the fright of being motionless outside stopped him from doing so. Grant's silent weak laughter became pitiful and saddened at this point, it was a mixture of fear and anger when the reality set in for him.
It was just despair from the driver who added after coming out of this turn of thought “Sure though, that will be the day when I say that to my boss or do anything as spontaneous as disappearing to another country for a month. So yeah Kenny I am just waiting. That is what I am doing. I am waiting to wake up from this dream. Any minute now you wait I am going to wake up warm and cosy in my bed next to my beautiful wife and our six dogs who will come running inside barking for me to go and feed them and take them for a walk down the park”.
Grant closed his eyes, momentarily allowing himself to believe what he was saying, to believe his own fabricated tale and to believe the nightmare he had been experiencing since yesterday afternoon was not happening.
Kenny could not stand for this any longer when he realised Grant had closed his eyes and kept them closed, so he leant forward and interrupted this moment of Grant relaxing by exclaiming rather loudly because Grant was now risking his life "For fucks sake Grant. Snap out of it!" Grants eyes opened instantly as he maintained his eyes on the road without replying to Kenny and they drove further along. Going through the urban streets, seeing figures in the shadows which emerged through the vast smoke and they could hear cries and screams from afar of some poor soul being murdered or running for their lives, or pleading for help.
There was around 1 minute of this driving when Kenny randomly broke the silence and said, trying to make small talk to hopefully steer Grant into some level of rationality. Kenny was just fearful Grant would cause an accident, so Kenny said “So you have six dogs Grant. That is pretty cool. You must own a lot of land for them to roam, unless of course they are small dogs. So what is it Grant?" Grant gulped as he replied, sensing how forced Kenny's words were "Kenny, you do not have to shoot the shit with me, I am fine. I know what you are doing". Kenny answered straight away with a flippant tone to his voice "I am trying to stay alive, and so should you. You need to be in the present moment Grant. Or you can move over and let me drive, especially if you want to see your wife and dogs again".
Unhappily Grant shook his head and stubbornly said "No I am driving, I found this van first". Grant gripped the steering wheel and he clung to it for dear life. It was the only way he could allow himself to not think too deeply about what was happening beyond the van. Kenny told him scornfully "Whatever you say, you can be the captain of this ship. Captain Grant, how do you like that. Congratulations!" Grant just ignored him and his unnecessary sarcastic comments, instead Gant allowed his thoughts to drift to a more convenient time as he was daydreaming once more. Trying to drown Kenny out from his thoughts and to bring his own morale into a happier place mentally despite the horrors he was witnessing outside and the horrors he had been seeing since it began.
This was however short lived because Grant suddenly broke out of his chain of thought and was forced to turn the steering wheel hard on the van, avoiding a stationary vehicle with blood seen on top of the car. Also on the vehicle was a person’s severed torso and body parts all around on the concrete, looking as though a bomb had gone off. The female passenger in the van moved violently but did not stir at this jerking movement enough to come fully awake. Kenny though raised his voice “Are you trying to get us killed Grant with your fucking daydreams. Wake the fuck up mate. Did you not see that car? It was right in the middle of the road!" Grant was breathing heavily. He wondered how he had not seen it. He could have sworn he had his eyes on the road. Kenny kept ranting "You have passengers relying on you back here”.
Grant feeling foolish was searching for something near the driver side as he defensively said, shuffling his hands around but keeping his eyes rooted on the outside “I just need some coffee. I need to open up my fucking eyes. I have been driving too long. I need something to help wake me up”.
Kenny went down in the back of the van and pulled up a flask from a bag. As he poured some into a cup from the top of the flask he finally handed Grant the coffee. Grant took hold of it without a thank you as he sipped the black liquid, swirling lukewarm in his mouth and the fresh sugary taste gave him a slight rush. Coffee never tasted so good to him, as he expressed a pleasurable sigh. The flask being from the owner of the van, the van Grant had found and Grant was conscious that since he last had some of this coffee it had gotten much colder. It told him time was running out for them. Kenny told Grant "Make the most of it mate. That is the only liquid we have with a kick to it. The rest of the coffee is ice cold, only what is in that flask is our hot liquid, and it isn’
t that hot anymore is it pal".
The drive continued as Kenny suggested to Grant who was wiping his brow having necked the entire coffee. Kenny said “If the coffee does not keep you awake. You can always try some of these" Kenny brought up a packet which read Alertness. And Kenny explained to the suspicion of Grant's look "They are just stimulants Grant, nothing illegal. You can buy them over the counter. They are like energy drinks in tablet form. I use them to keep me awake when I am studying in the early hours. Think of them as super duper caffeine pills”.
Grant shook his head not interested, and he replied “No, I will keep to the coffee but thanks all the same for the offer, if I need sleep you can drive. You can drive can’t you Kenny?” Sounding offended Kenny said to Grant “Of course I can drive. I have been telling you for ages I can drive but now you offer me a chance to take over. You change your mind a lot man. Besides, like I said, of course I can drive. I mean, how you think I ended in Oxford in the first place”. Curiously Grant asked him “So where is your car?".
Grant realising Kenny's car might be a better acquisition than this transit van and he was amazed was Grant it did not occur to him to ask Kenny this before, but he just assumed Kenny was a pedestrian seeking safety when he saw him on the road, and when Kenny said he was not local, he just thought he got here by some other means.
Kenny though smiled at Grant, as if embarrassed and said “You want to know where my car is huh. My car is uh. Well let me just say the insurance company will not be happy as I think the legal term for the state of my car is it is a write off, but I can drive. Just how good or bad my driving skills are is debatable, but I can pretty sure get us out of Oxford if you put me behind the wheel of almost any vehicle on the road. It should be noted though the car I came here in is a rental. I rented it to come here. Yeah, I thought that would be the biggest problem I would face when I went back home, turns out it's the least. Fuck I wish it was my biggest problem though”.
Kenny clearly displaying his unhappiness at Grant and his gentle driving whereby they had been stranded on the streets unable to get out of Oxford due to so many roads being blocked, and Grant was unsure how to take Kenny’s flippant attitude. Kenny to Grant was strange, he just moved between finding the situation they were in terrifying then being self-deprecating at how he ended up here and what had happened to him prior to Grant picking him up. Kenny himself was also putting on a front to Grant, acting like he could handle the situation when in truth he was trying to keep himself together and not break down.
Cautiously Grant replied to Kenny, because he did not want to argue with him and now Grant had second thoughts about letting Kenny drive the van after Kenny disclosed he crashed the rental he had and seemed to find it amusing, but it was just Kenny's fear. Grant said “Well let’s just hope we never have to debate your driving skills Kenny”. Kenny realising he had no sway over this and it was Grant who was in command of the van said unhappily “So long as you are in charge boss we will not have to”.
Kenny sat back in the back area of the van, leaning on the cold insides against the side aluminium van. Kenny then began kicking away some of the tools from his feet in frustration, almost like a petulant child. The back of the van was extremely dark and the light which was afforded to Kenny from standing up and peering out of the front window of the front seat was gone at this point. It was like he slipped into an abyss by sitting down in the back of the van. The smell within this part of the van was dank and damp, it was clearly a van used in the form of construction work of some kind. Kenny making small talk asked Grant “So who owned this van before you? I know it was not you. It does fit well with you and your attire. I mean thinking you use hammers, chisels and tape measures in your daily life does not fit. You do not look like a builder, what with your shirt and dark trousers. I would have you down as a cubicle kingpin".
Grant finding this term odd replied “A cubicle kingpin. What does that even mean?” causally Kenny answered and said “It is just this term I have for office workers. You know the 9-5 types. The types who make a lot of money but spend most of their lives rooted in one particular position. Take it as a compliment”. Grant was unsure if Kenny was mocking him or if he genuinely called office workers that so he said “I don’t know if you are complimenting me, and just because a person works in an office does not mean they make a lot of money. I certainly don't Kenny and I got a good job”. Then Grant muttered frustrated "Certainly not as much as I should be earning with my education". Indifferently Kenny answered, but kept his voice down “Ah poor you”. Grant did not hear Kenny.
Kenny now pensively cradled his head in his hands and then lifted his head up and noticed the streetlights they passed which illuminated the insides of the top part of the inner van, at a very selective location. This light was only possible to be seen by him when he gazed up towards the front seat after adjusting himself to peer upwards from sitting down. Kenny responded to Grant "As I said, it is a term of endearment”. Kenny went back to scoping the van, and making his own analysis of the vans owner, narrating his thoughts as he tried to distract himself from what was happening outside.
Randomly he asked Grant "Do you like detective shows Grant? You know those deductive geniuses who seem to know everything about you by looking at crime scenes or the personal belongings of someone". Where was he taking this Grant wondered as Grant replied "I am more into sports Kenny" Kenny answered sharply "Sports and detective shows do not have to be mutually exclusive. All I am saying is looking at this van you have found. I am going to guess in the spirit of being a detective that the sort of person who owned it". Grant thought to himself why would he even seek to guess who owned the van, what did it matter they were all relatively safe within it.
Kenny playfully tapped his fingers on the floor of the van, the wooden floor with a very light carpet in parts as though giving a drum roll for what he next said, Kenny then disclosed "I would say the previous owner of this van is either a serial killer or a builder. But judging by this building hat" Kenny staring at one of three builder hats amongst many other tools. Indicating a builder or contractor of some kind owned the vehicle. Kenny added jokingly "I will go for builder over a serial killer, unless of course he is a serial killer with a fetish for dressing up his victims as builders or posing as a builder to lure in his victims in. What do you think mate?” Kenny chuckled to himself.
Grant glanced in the rear view mirror and replied although unable to see Kenny in the rear view mirror because Kenny was sitting down directly behind his seat, all Grant saw when he looked in the rear view mirror was blackness from the back of the van “I don’t know how to respond to that Kenny” said Grant. After some silence Kenny said seriously, his voice now in a whispered tone “Do you know anything about the previous owner of this van though Grant? I mean seriously”. Grant shrugged his shoulders and retorted “I don’t know maybe an odd job man from my workplace. Who knows Kenny, he could be stopping by to see his friend or partner who worked in the building I worked at. What does it matter to you anyways?”
Kenny was lifting up various tools, ignoring Grant's question was to why he was asking these questions, so Kenny said “It is probably an odd job man though mate. But I ask myself Grant, why would he be an odd job man from your place of work and why would you have his van?” There was silence from Grant, it went on for around 10 seconds and Kenny was silent picking up on the disquiet from Grant. Then Grant shamefully responded “I took it from the parking lot of my workplace. I have no idea who owned this van”. His shame did not just arise from taking the van but thoughts of who might have died because he took it. Kenny perceptively said "So you stole it, wow, aren't you a contradiction Grant. With your smart clothing, respectable job and yet you steal from your own place of work. No less from a colleague who you do not even know".
Defensively Grant replied, raising his voice "My own car was stolen Kenny. Everyone was taking whatever they could to get out of there. It was all panic. I was one of the last to get out of the building. I
had no idea what was happening outside, it seemed like I was one of the last ones inside to know what was going on outside. I was buried in work, in my own personal office by the way Kenny. Not a cubicle kingpin as you put it". Kenny unmoved answered "Don't they have phones in this personal office of yours Captain". Grant gripped the steering wheel and answered angrily "Don't call me Captain, and yes they have phones but I was in place within the building near my office which does not have phone access. I do not know why this matters or why I am even telling you about the protocol of where I worked". Kenny went quiet dwelling on all Grant had shared, until he asked "Wait a second. How could someone steal your car, were you robbed?"
Grant sighed heavily, and replied "Anyone who works in the building I was working in has to declare their keys upon entry, all keys are kept on hook hangers at the front desk. I don't know why I am answering this let alone why you are interested in knowing this". Kenny smirked but Grant could not see him as he replied "That is a very unusual building you work in, to have you declare car keys at the front desk. I mean who the fuck does that in this day and age".
Grant shook his head wiping his brow of further sweat as he answered "Well it is a security precaution, do not ask me why. I did not make the rules, I only work there". Grant could not help it as he raised his voice "Stop asking me these stupid fucking questions, none of this matter’s anymore".
Aggrieved, Kenny said "Well you are right about it not mattering anymore Grant. Be it you stealing a van or having your own personal office. Nothing matters anymore but you have to admit, it was a nice distraction to talk about banal bullshit considering all that is happening out there isn't?" his voice trailing off in realisation how hopeless their situation was.
Grant was trying to refocus on where to go and realised Kenny was either playing with his mind or was genuinely trying to distract him from daydreaming and focusing on the road ahead, but Grant did not appreciate it. Grant did not answer him outright, instead Grant kept glancing at the petrol gauge just hoping it would not turn yellow yet but it was due very soon, he estimated he only had 20 miles left in the reserve tank, if that, but he was unsure about the reserve elements of the van. He also knew it would likely cause him to be far more nervous if it did turn yellow without him having a plan or at least a place to hide out. Where were the authorities he wondered to himself, they needed a rescue station of some kind and fast.
