by Joan Jonker
Fred threw his blanket aside and pulled the torch from his pocket. ‘Hold this torch, Mary, till I have a look. Likely she’s just fainted.’ He thrust the torch into Mary’s hand. ‘Shine it down here! How the hell can I see what I’m doing if you’re pointing the thing in the air?!’ Mary felt her mother’s weight being lifted from her, then heard the urgency in Fred’s voice. ‘Get up, Mary!’ She moved away as he ordered his wife, ‘Fold a blanket for Martha’s head.’
‘What’s wrong with Mrs Bradshaw, Dad?’ Little Denis sounded scared. ‘She’s not dead, is she?’ The band of pain in Mary’s chest grew tighter, and even Fred’s assurances that Mrs Bradshaw just didn’t feel well did nothing to ease the pain.
‘It’s bloody freezing in here!’ Fred barked. ‘Give us another blanket!’ When Mary made no move he snatched it from her hand and draped it over Martha. He was usually such a civil man, always softly spoken, and hearing his tone now Mary knew he was worried. It took all her willpower to turn her eyes to where her mother lay, her face lit up by the torch. Her eyes were open and her mouth moving as though she wanted to say something but no sound would come. A cry escaping her lips, Mary knelt at the side of the bench. ‘Don’t worry, Mam! You’re going to be all right, isn’t she, Mr Smith?’
‘Course she is, love! I’ll run down to the depot and see if there’s a doctor on duty.’
A loud wail left Elsie’s lips. ‘You’re not going out while the planes are still around.’
‘I’ll go, Mr Smith! I can run faster than you.’ Mary gave her mother’s arm a squeeze. ‘I’ll only be five minutes.’
Fred followed Mary through the house and as she made to run off down the street he caught her arm. ‘I don’t want to worry you, love, but I think your mam’s had a stroke.’
‘No!’ Mary cried. ‘She was just frightened by the bombs! She’ll be fine when I get her home.’
‘I hope you’re right! Anyway, run like hell, but if the planes come back take cover, quick!’
Mary nodded, then started to run faster than she’d ever run in her life. Tears blurred her vision but she made no effort to wipe them away. Round the corner she dashed, colliding with a man. ‘I’m sorry,’ she mumbled, and went to race on. But a hand pulled her up short. ‘Mary! What the hell are you doing out? Why aren’t you in the shelter?’
It was Bob’s voice and Mary threw herself into his arms. ‘Bob! Thank God!’
‘What’s wrong? Where are you running to?’
Mary was sobbing into his shoulder. ‘It’s me mam! Mr Smith thinks she’s had a stroke.’
‘Oh, no!’ Bob sounded weary. ‘First me mam and dad, now this!’ When Mary pulled away, saying, ‘I’ve got to get a doctor!’ he took her hand in a vicelike grip and started to run, pulling her along. ‘Let’s move then.’
Apart from the searchlights zig-zagging across the sky in their search for enemy planes, there was no sound or movement as they raced through the streets. They were out of breath when they reached the depot and Mary couldn’t get her words out to the man in charge. Between tears and breathlessness, she couldn’t make herself coherent. It was Bob who had to coax every word out of her until the man in charge of the station understood why she was so distressed. ‘I think you’re in luck, dear.’ His voice was gentle. ‘The duty doctor’s here now, and I’m sure he’ll come and see your mother.’ He disappeared through a side door, and a few seconds later when the door opened again Mary gave a cry of relief. ‘Oh, I’m glad it’s you, Doctor! Me mam’s taken ill, and Mr Smith said she’s had a stroke.’
John Greenfield looked too young to be a doctor. He was thirty-seven, but with his short, slim, boyish figure, baby-fine blond hair that refused to stay combed back, and a delicate complexion, he looked ten years younger. He was the Bradshaws’ family doctor, and although he didn’t see much of them, he knew the history of the family well. His pale blue eyes searched Mary’s face. ‘Calm down, Mary, and start at the beginning.’ When she’d finished, he said quietly, ‘I’ll get my bag and run you back in my car.’
Fred met them outside the shelter. ‘Your mam’s just the same, Mary! We’d better stay out here while the doctor examines her.’
Bob put his arm round Mary when the doctor, head bent, disappeared into the shelter. ‘Don’t worry, sweetheart, your mam’s going to be fine.’ He didn’t have time to say more before John Greenfield reappeared. ‘I couldn’t examine Mrs Bradshaw in those conditions.’ He looked across at Bob. ‘Will you help me carry her into the house? And you, Mary, be a good girl and nip in and get the couch ready.’
Nervously wringing her hands, Mary ran into the house. ‘Get the couch ready,’ she spoke to the empty room. ‘How do I do that?’ She put two cushions at the end of the couch then dashed upstairs for a blanket. She was spreading it out when the door was kicked open and the doctor and Bob came in carrying her mother between them. Martha’s clothes were riding high on her hips and Mary rushed to pull them down, trying to speak lightly, ‘You’re too old to be showing your legs to strange men.’
‘You two, out in the kitchen while I examine the patient.’ John was looking at Bob. ‘You could put the kettle on because I think we could all do with a drink.’
‘Come on, love.’ Bob’s arm went round Mary’s waist. ‘Do as you’re told.’ It was Bob who filled the kettle and lit the gas ring. For a few seconds he watched the flames lick the bottom of the kettle, then, squaring his shoulders, he faced Mary. ‘The doctor’s right; a cup of tea will make us all feel better.’
‘Even me mam?’ Mary flashed back. ‘Will a cup of tea make me mam feel better?’
‘Don’t bite me head off, love! And carrying on like that won’t help anyone … particularly your mam!’ He lowered his eyes. ‘Your mam has had a stroke, but the doctor doesn’t know how bad, yet, and he’s asked me to have a word with you. He doesn’t want your mam to see you upset or she’ll think she’s worse than she is.’
‘But I can’t pretend there’s nothing wrong with her, can I?’
‘Nobody’s asking you to pretend there’s nothing wrong! Just try not to upset her, that’s all!’
The kettle started to whistle and Mary automatically brewed the tea. She picked up a knitted tea cosy, and as she held it in her hands she had a mental picture of her mother sitting in her favourite armchair by the side of the fire, needles clicking away as she knitted the cosy from odd bits of wool. Sighing, she slipped the cosy over the spout of the pot. ‘Everything seems to be going wrong.’
There was a tap on the door before the doctor walked in. He sat on the edge of the small kitchen table, and before Mary could fire the questions he could see in her eyes, held his hand up. ‘I may be needed down at the depot, so I’ll have to make this quick. Your mother’s stroke has affected her down the right side of her body, and her speech.’ When Mary’s head dropped, he went on quickly. ‘That doesn’t mean she’s always going to be like that. It’s too early to say for sure, but if your mother has got the spirit and the determination to get better, then I think the chances of her regaining some use of her limbs are pretty good. I’m even more optimistic about her regaining her speech, but it might take time.’ He stood up. ‘I’ll ring the hospital from the depot, but I don’t think I’ll be able to get her in right away because we’ve had so many casualties.’
‘Can’t I look after her at home?’
‘You might have to for a while! It depends upon whether there’s an empty bed.’
‘You couldn’t manage your mam on your own.’ Bob had been silent till now. ‘You’d never be able to lift her.’
‘I can try,’ Mary said stubbornly.
‘Let’s see if we can get her into hospital first,’ John cut in. ‘If I can’t, I’ll get a nurse in twice a day to wash and change her. Then you’d only have to lift her when she wanted to go to the lavatory.’ A smile crossed his boyish face when he saw Mary blush. ‘You’ll get used to that, my girl! Everyone needs to go to the lavatory … I’ve even been known to go myself on occasion.’
His smile faded. ‘We’d better go in or Mrs Bradshaw will wonder what’s going on. Before we do, I must warn you you’ll see a difference in her appearance. The right side of her face has been affected and her mouth is lopsided. But that could be back to normal in a few days. The main thing is not to let her see you’re upset, and keep all stress and worry away from her. Say nothing about the war unless it’s good news.’
It was three o’clock before Mary and Bob sat facing each other across the kitchen table. Both were dead tired, but felt a sense of achievement. They’d managed to carry Martha’s big, iron bed down the stairs, and while Bob had gone to ask the Smiths if they could borrow the commode they had, Mary had been able to undress her mam and get her into bed.
‘I think you’ve done wonders!’ Bob reached across for her hand. ‘I don’t know how you managed to undress her on your own.’
‘Me mam did most of the work! I was frightened of hurting her at first, but she can use her left arm and leg and we soon got the hang of it.’ Mary looked down at their joined hands. ‘D’you think we’re being paid for committing a sin?’
Bob flushed. ‘I’ve thought of nothing else since I heard about our house being bombed! I keep telling meself that ours wasn’t the only house to go and there’s fellows being killed every day at the front. They can’t all have committed a sin.’
Mary started to cry softly. ‘We shouldn’t have done it! I’ll always blame meself for what’s happened to me mam. It’s God’s way of paying us back.’
‘What can I say, love?’ Bob shook his head. ‘Except I’m sorry!’
‘It wasn’t your fault. I’ve got a mind of me own, and I should have known better.’ Mary sniffled. ‘You’d better go, because the doctor’s coming at nine o’clock and I want to have the room cleaned up before then.’
‘Where are you sleeping?’
‘On the couch. I couldn’t go upstairs and leave me mam on her own.’
‘I’ll be off then, and let you get some sleep. I’ll be back early to give you a hand.’
‘Leave it until dinner time, love. There’s a nurse coming and you’d only be in the way.’ Mary suddenly put a hand across her mouth and her wide eyes stared into his. For the first time since she’d dashed round that corner and bumped into him, she remembered why he was home. ‘I haven’t even asked about your mam and dad! Oh, Bob, I’m sorry! Everything went out of me mind, worrying about me mam.’
‘We’ll talk later.’ Bob kissed her gently. ‘You’ve had enough for one day.’
Chapter Six
The couch was hard and unyielding and Mary tossed and turned. So much had happened her mind was in a whirl. Finally, telling herself she’d have to get some sleep or she’d be no good to anyone, she punched the pillow into a more comfortable position and did what her dad had taught her when she was a little girl and couldn’t get to sleep. She started to count. After a while her body became light and she felt the lovely sensation of floating on air as she drifted into a deep sleep. It was the sound of bells that woke her, and she sat up with a start. Everywhere was quiet, and telling herself she must have been dreaming she went to settle down again. It was only then she realised she’d been sleeping on the couch, and the memories came rushing back. Peering through the darkness she put her hand out and felt for the wooden headboard. ‘Oh, my God! What time is it?’ Flinging the bedding aside she crossed the room and drew the heavy curtains back, filling the room with light. Turning to the bed, she met her mother’s eyes. ‘I’m sorry, Mam, I must have been out for the count, and …’ A look of panic crossed her face as the knock came. Glancing down in dismay at her nightdress, her eyes then travelled the room, taking in the rumpled bedding in a heap on the couch and her clothes strewn across the backs of chairs. ‘Who the heck can this be, so early? I’ll die if it’s the doctor, and this place in such a mess.’
Her dressing gown was upstairs, so Mary reached for the coat hanging over the nearest chair. As she did so, she caught sight of her mother’s face. ‘Don’t worry, Mam.’ She shivered as her arms came into contact with the cold lining of the coat. ‘I won’t let anyone in unless it’s Doctor Greenfield. I can hardly ask him to come back later.’
Stifling a yawn with the back of her hand, Mary wrapped the coat around her before opening the door. The last person in the world she expected to see standing on the step was Harry Sedgemoor, and her brows drew together in a frown.
‘I’m sorry if I woke you.’ Harry looked awkward. ‘Fred told us what happened and I’m just calling to ask how your mam is.’
‘Harry!’ Mary couldn’t keep the impatience out of her voice. ‘It’s a good job you did wake me, ’cos the doctor’s coming at nine and the place is a right mess.’
‘Can I do anything to help?’ Even with her eyes full of sleep, her hair all over the place, and wrapped in an old coat, she still looks beautiful, Harry thought. ‘Is there anything at all I can do?’
‘No, thanks! Bob helped me bring me mam’s bed downstairs.’ Feeling mean, she added, ‘We’ll be all right, but thanks for asking.’
‘Bob got compassionate leave then?’
Mary started to close the door as she nodded. ‘I’ll have to go! I’ve got so much to do before the doctor comes.’
‘I’ll let them know in work, so don’t worry.’ Harry was reluctant to move. ‘You just look after your mam.’
Mary stepped further back into the hall. ‘I’ll have to go! I’m not even dressed yet.’
Before the door closed on him, Harry said, ‘If you ever want me, Mary, you know where I am.’
‘It was only Harry Sedgemoor, asking about you.’ Mary stood at the side of the bed. ‘I’ve got twenty minutes to get you, meself, and this room sorted out, so I’d better get me skates on.’ She forced a smile as she looked straight into her mother’s face. She wanted to fling her arms around her and tell her what she’d never put into words before. That she loved her very much. But this wasn’t the time. ‘I’ll get cracking!’
‘Whew! I never thought I’d make it!’ Mary surveyed the room. It was as good as she’d ever get it, with the walls and ceiling covered in black streaks, and the big bed taking up half the room. The bedding from the couch had been whipped upstairs, a duster run over the furniture, and a fire was just beginning to crackle in the grate. ‘I’ll just make meself a bit presentable.’
John Greenfield stood on the step with a nurse by his side. The Bradshaws had been on his mind a lot over the last few hours, and he was expecting to find Mary tearful and quite unable to cope. He was amazed when she opened the door with a big smile on her face and a cheery ‘Good morning’ on her lips. He was even more amazed when he saw Martha propped up in bed looking very comfortable, the room neat and tidy, and even a fire glowing in the grate. ‘Well, well! It seems I’ve been worrying myself for nothing!’ He indicated the nurse by his side. ‘This is Nurse Nolan, and she’ll be coming in twice a day to freshen you up.’
Rose Nolan was middle aged with a round, plump body, and a rosy, cherubic face. The hair showing beneath her nurse’s hat was steel grey, and neatly curled. When she smiled her whole face lit up, and Martha knew right away she was going to like Nurse Nolan.
‘No luck with the hospital,’ John told Mary, ‘it may be a few weeks before they have an empty bed. Can you manage till then?’ When Mary nodded, he looked at Martha. ‘While your daughter’s getting the water ready for the nurse, I’ll give you a good examination.’
‘You get the towels while I see to the water.’ The nurse beamed at Mary who was standing by the sink. ‘You’ve managed very well, but I’ll be coming twice a day till your mum goes into hospital, so that will make things easier for you.’ She threw a towel over her arm before lifting the bowl. ‘I’ll stay for a while after the doctor goes, to show you how to lift your mum without straining yourself.’ When Mary rushed to open the door for her, she asked ‘Where’s her clean clothes?’
Mary closed her eyes. ‘I never thought about clean clothes.’
The b
eaming smile took the sting out of the words. ‘Not much good getting her all nice and clean, then putting dirty clothes on her, now is it?’
Mary blessed her mother for being so fussy when she found everything she wanted, all neat and tidy and in the right place.
Mary saw Bob passing the window and the door was opened before he had time to knock. ‘How’s it going, love?’ He lifted her off her feet and held her tight. ‘I haven’t slept a wink, thinking about you.’ Lowering his voice, he whispered, ‘I love you, Mary Bradshaw!’
‘I love you, too!’ Mary gave him a hug. ‘Now, come in and see me mam.’
There was welcome in Martha’s eyes as Bob bent to kiss her. ‘You certainly gave us a fright, last night! Now you look better than either of us! I hope you feel as well as you look.’
A low sound came from Martha’s mouth, and Bob’s eyes flew to Mary. But she wasn’t looking at him. Her brows were drawn together as she stared at her mother. ‘Did you say something, Mam?’
Martha’s mouth moved slowly and agonisingly. Then, softly, like the rustle of a leaf, came ‘Eth.’
Mary ran to the side of the bed. ‘Say it again, Mam!’ She watched with Bob as Martha’s distorted mouth moved. ‘Eth.’
Bob’s laugh filled the room. ‘That’s the best sound I’ve ever heard in me whole life!’
Mary was laughing and crying as she kept asking her mother to repeat the magical word. In the end Martha was tired out and waved her hand in the direction of the kitchen to indicate she wanted them to leave her in peace.
Bob removed his tunic coat and draped it over the back of one of the kitchen chairs. ‘Sit down and tell me everything that’s happened.’
Mary’s face was aglow. She had Bob sitting opposite to her and her mother had said her first word. ‘Well! Where to start?! The doctor and nurse were here at nine o’clock, and it’s been all go since then. They can’t get Mam in hospital yet, but I don’t mind because with the nurse coming twice a day I’ll manage fine. She’s lovely, the nurse, and we had a good laugh when she was showing me how to lift me mam without strangling her.’ The happy smile dimmed a little. ‘Trying to feed me mam was the worst. With the right side of her face, and her tongue, being paralysed, she can’t swallow and I had to try and get soup into the back of her throat and let it slide down. As quick as I was spooning it into her mouth it was trickling out again. She looked so helpless, and sort of ashamed, that I’d have burst out crying if the nurse hadn’t been there.’
