by Joan Jonker
‘That’s for him to decide, not us!’ George patted her shoulder. ‘I’d better be off or I’ll be late clocking on.’ He went into the hall for his coat, and when he came back he closed the door behind him so his words wouldn’t carry up the stairs. ‘You said some nasty things, Lizzie! We all say things we’re sorry about afterwards, but the trouble is, once you’ve said them, you can’t take them back. So think on, Lizzie!’
Mary’s nerves were stretched to breaking point when Harry knocked. In work he’d suggested not telling his parents about the baby until after they were married, but Mary had insisted. She’d never be able to look them in the face again if they started married life on a lie.
She closed the door and followed Harry into the room where he stood with his back to the fireplace. He took a few steps towards her, then changed his mind. He looked tired, Mary thought, and when he smiled there was no warmth in the smile. They faced each other for several seconds then Mary asked in a faltering voice, ‘Are we still going to the hospital?’
‘Of course we are! Why?’
‘Did you tell your parents?’ When he nodded, she asked, ‘What did they say?’
‘Me dad didn’t have very much to say, but me mam was upset.’ Harry knew he’d have to tell her most of the truth in case his mam came to see her. ‘She’s been very quiet since I got up,’ he spread his hands out. ‘In fact she hasn’t spoken a word in two hours.’
‘You can’t blame her! Any mother would feel the same.’ Mary pushed her hair back in a gesture of helplessness. ‘I think you’d be better walking out of that door and forgetting the whole thing. Too many people are going to be hurt.’
Harry crossed the space between them and took hold of her hands. ‘We’re going to the hospital to tell your mam we’re getting married! If I walk out of that door, I’m the one who’s going to get hurt! We’re getting married because I want to, Mary. And, although for different reasons, so do you. Don’t worry about me mam, because I think she’ll come round.’
Mary withdrew her hands and turned her back on him. Picking up a cushion, she hugged it to her. ‘I’m making everyone unhappy. If I only had meself to worry about, it wouldn’t be so bad. But I’m not the only one, am I?’
Harry took her by the shoulders and turned her round. ‘I’ve faced my mam, now let’s go and face yours.’
The look on their faces told Martha that this was no ordinary visit. Harry could barely suppress his excitement as he took hold of her hand. ‘Didn’t think you’d be seeing me again so soon, did you, Mrs B?’
‘No! This is a surprise.’ Martha looked towards Mary for an explanation, but Harry got in first. ‘We’ve got some good news for you! At least I hope you’ll think it’s good news! Me and Mary are getting married.’
Martha closed her eyes briefly, and when they opened they were glistening with tears. ‘Oh, lad, I’m so happy!’ She stretched her hand out to Mary who was standing by, white faced. ‘I’m glad for you, lass.’
If Mary wasn’t brimming over with happiness, there was no concealing Harry’s. He had a grin on his face like a Cheshire cat, and when Martha asked if he’d told his parents, the smile didn’t slip. ‘Yeah! I told them this morning.’
‘Are they pleased?’ Martha couldn’t help but see the look exchanged across the bed. ‘They’d get a shock, wouldn’t they?’
‘You can say that again! Me mam hasn’t got over the shock yet! She thought she was never going to get rid of me.’
‘When are you getting married?’
‘Not so fast, Mam!’ Mary did her best to smile. Her mam and Harry looked so happy she didn’t want to spoil it for them. ‘Harry’s going to try and get a six-roomed house, so you can have a room of your own. We won’t be getting married until we’ve got a house.’
Martha knew her daughter inside out. She knew Mary would want to move before the neighbours found out she was pregnant. She didn’t blame her for this, but she wondered if Mary knew how much she had to thank Harry for?
‘I got some good news myself, today! The doctors say I should be ready to go home soon.’
For the first time, Mary didn’t have to force her smile. ‘Oh, Mam, that’s marvellous! They must be really pleased with you.’
‘It’s more a case of them not being able to do any more for me. I can move me hand a bit, but there’s no strength in it and it’ll never be any good to me. And me leg is just useless.’ Martha’s face brightened. ‘Still, I’ve got a lot to be thankful for! I can get about fine on me crutches, and the doctor says I’ll get around better when I’m at home.’ She smiled at Harry. ‘When d’you think you’ll be getting married?’
‘Give us a chance, Missus! She’s only just said yes, and we haven’t got down to making plans yet.’
‘It’ll be lovely if I can see me daughter getting married.’
The thought flashed through Mary’s mind that the way things were with Harry’s parents, there might only be her mam and Eileen at the wedding.
‘You don’t think I’d get married without me mam there, do you?’
‘And Eileen?’
‘Oh, it wouldn’t be a show without Punch, now would it? Of course Eileen will be there … she’s me best mate!’
Martha was smiling when they left. She felt as though a heavy burden had been lifted from her mind, and there was only one small cloud on her horizon. The haunted look on Mary’s face. Please God it would disappear when she started making plans for the wedding.
‘We’ve got bags of time before we need to get ready for work.’ Harry’s hand was cupped possessively under Mary’s elbow. ‘Shall we go back to yours for an hour?’
Some of the neighbours were standing at their doors talking, and by the time she’d unlocked the front door, Mary’s face was bright crimson. ‘You can imagine what they’re saying, can’t you? It didn’t take me long to find someone else.’
Harry didn’t care what anyone said, or did. He was going to marry the girl he thought was out of his reach, and his mind was too full of his newfound happiness to worry about other people. They’d just sat down when he asked, ‘When’s the baby due?’
The question was unexpected and Mary’s head went down. ‘In about six and a half months. Doctor Greenfield said you can never tell with a first baby, they sometimes come two weeks early or two weeks late.’
‘Shall I start looking for a house, then?’
‘We’re going to have to see a priest before we do anything.’ This was the one thing Mary dreaded. It would have been bad enough telling Father Murphy about the baby, but to tell him she was marrying Harry, who was a Protestant, was a million times worse. But rather tell him than Father Younger! He’d lecture her something terrible. ‘Are you sure you want to become a Catholic?’
‘Mary, I’d be quite happy getting married in a registry office … but if you’ve set your heart on a church wedding, then I’ll change me religion.’
‘I wouldn’t be married in the eyes of the Church if I got married in a registry office. And we’d have trouble getting the baby christened.’
‘Then we go and see the priest! I’ve never been one for going to church, but I want to do everything that will make you happy.’ Harry was twirling his thumbs round, his face thoughtful. ‘I would like you to pack in work.’
Mary was shaking her head before he’d finished speaking. ‘No! I need the money to buy things for the baby.’
‘I can see to everything you need for the baby! I get good money, and once we’re married you can buy what you want.’ Harry felt like pinching himself to make sure he wasn’t dreaming. ‘Pack your job in, Mary, please? I don’t think you should be standing on your feet for so long in your condition.’
Mary felt as though she was being pulled along against the tide. Things were happening so fast she couldn’t take it in. But the thought of packing in work did appeal to her. It wouldn’t be long before some sharp-eyed woman recognised the signs, and it was a fear she went to work with every day. Her face was filling out, her hip
s wider, and her breasts fuller. Tell-tale signs to any woman, and she was only surprised that no one had noticed before now.
Harry crossed the room to sit next to her. ‘We’re talking about getting married and I’ve never even kissed you.’ When panic showed in the wide eyes, he coaxed. ‘Just one kiss to seal our engagement.’ He put his hand under her chin and turned her face towards him.
Mary sat rigid as his mouth came down on hers. She tried to respond but couldn’t. She’d always closed her eyes when Bob kissed her, but now they were wide open, and as Harry lifted his mouth from hers she saw the sadness and disappointment reflected in his. ‘I’m sorry, Harry,’ she said softly. ‘Just give me time. Everything’s happened so quickly.’
‘I won’t rush you, love! We’ll have plenty of time to get to know one another when we’re married.’
Mary prayed under her breath, I hope so!
‘I’ll slip home and get me overalls and we can travel to work together.’
‘No!’ Mary spoke sharply. ‘Let’s leave things as they are, otherwise people will start putting two and two together.’
‘I’ve told you, I don’t care what people think!’
‘Look, I’ll pack in work soon if that’s what you want, but I’d rather the girls thought it was because me mam’s coming home. I don’t care what they think after I’ve left.’
Harry shrugged. ‘Have it your own way. I’ll see you in work, then!’
‘Me and Harry are getting married.’ Mary blurted it out as they neared the Black Bull and Eileen stopped in her tracks. ‘Well, they say the quiet ones are the worst, and in your case they’re bloody right! Still, I’m glad for yer, kid, an’ I think yer doing the right thing.’
‘You’re probably the only one that does, except for me mam! I’m not the most popular girl in the world in the Sedgemoor house.’
‘What did yer expect? Yer can’t blame them, now can yer?’ Eileen put her arm across Mary’s shoulders. ‘It’ll only be a nine days’ wonder, so don’t worry. Everyone will have a real good jangle about yer, then it’ll be forgotten in a few days. The women will be jealous ’cos yer’ve got yerself a crackin’ good feller.’
‘He’s too good to be made use of, like I’m doing.’
‘Harry’s got his head screwed on the right way, kid, an’ if he didn’t want to marry yer, then he wouldn’t marry yer!’
Mary was squashed up against the side of the bus when Eileen whispered, ‘Is it a secret, or can anyone know?’
‘Definitely a secret,’ Mary whispered back. ‘Me mam’s coming out of hospital soon, so when I give me notice in, I can say it’s because I’ve got to stay home and look after her.’
Eileen wagged her head. ‘I’ll say this for you an’ Harry; when yez make up yer mind to do something, yez don’t hang around, do yez?’
They were walking through the factory gate when Mary asked, ‘Will you be my maid of honour?’
Every feature on Eileen’s face showed her amazement. ‘You must want yer bumps feeling! I’d look like a baby elephant standin’ next to you! I’d spoil yer weddin’!’
‘I want you, Eileen; you’re me best mate!’
‘Well, in that case, I’ll be happy to oblige, an’ thank you for asking me.’
Mary could feel the laugh building up in her friend’s body and was ready for the roar when it came. ‘I might even buy meself a new coat and surprise the lot of yer.’
They had reached the cloakroom, where all the gossiping went on, and Mary lowered the tone of her voice. ‘After the last few days, nothing would surprise me.’
Harry’s grin stretched from ear to ear. ‘It was all your fault, so if I’ve got any complaints I’ll bring them to you, shall I?’
Eileen’s grin matched his. ‘Yer don’t believe in messin’ about do yer?’
‘I can’t believe it meself! It’s like one of those sloppy films you see, where the goodie always gets the girl.’
‘Things’ll work out if yer give them time.’ Eileen dropped the cloak of toughness she wore as a shield. ‘I’m very fond of her, Harry, so you take care of her or yer’ll have me to answer to.’ Embarrassed by her own show of emotion, she reverted to type. ‘If yer go round with that grin on yer face, yer’ll be gettin’ locked up.’
‘I just wish Mary looked a bit happier,’ Harry confided. ‘She doesn’t look like someone about to be married, does she?’
‘Bloody hell, Harry!’ Eileen placed her hands on her ample hips and glared at him. ‘What d’yer expect? Bloody miracles?’
‘You’re right.’ Harry’s grin reappeared. ‘It’s just that I’m so happy I want everyone else to be happy as well.’ As Eileen moved down the machine he caught her arm. ‘What’s the priest’s name at the Blessed Sacrament?’ Eileen’s small eyes practically disappeared in the folds of flesh as her brows drew together. ‘What d’yer want to know that for?’
‘Mary wants to get married there.’
‘There’s three priests, but one of them hasn’t been there very long, so I don’t know him. Father Younger’s the oldest … he’s been there as long as I can remember. I used to be terrified of him when I was a kid, ’cos it was woe betide yer if yer didn’t know yer catechism off by heart. An’ if yer missed Mass on a Sunday and didn’t have a letter from our Lord to excuse yer, he’d frighten the living daylights out of yer.’
‘What about Father Murphy that Mary talks about?”
‘Oh, he’s a lovely feller! As Irish as the blarney stone itself! If you’re goin’ to see one of them, make it Father Murphy … he’s more understanding.’
Mary was due for her monthly check-up at the doctor’s on the Saturday, but she went in to work for the day, telling herself she could go on Monday when they started early shift. It was an excuse, and she knew it. But how was she going to tell the doctor about Harry?
She was thinking this when a knock came on the door just after she got in from visiting her mother, and thinking it was Eileen, she opened the door with a smile on her face. But the smile froze when she recognised Father Murphy. ‘Come in, Father.’ Her heart thumping, she followed the black-coated figure into the living room. ‘I’ve just got back from the hospital.’
‘That’s why I left it till this time.’ The priest took his hat off and smoothed down his shock of fair hair. ‘Can I sit down?’
Mary hastily moved her coat. ‘Of course, Father! I was just surprised to see you.’
Settling himself in Martha’s chair, the priest looked up at Mary, whose fear was written on her face. ‘I believe you have something to tell me, Mary? Is that right now?’ His soft Irish voice rolled the words gently. ‘I know you’ve a lot on your mind with going to work and visiting your mother, but I don’t think that’s a good excuse for not coming to church. D’you not think I’m right, now, Mary?’
Mary stood petrified, like a statue. This had to be the worst moment out of all the thousands of moments in the last few months. It had been bad enough confessing her sin to a priest in the darkness of the confessional box, but to face someone across her own living room, someone she knew and admired, was not to be contemplated.
‘Shall I tell you why I’ve called, Mary? I had a visit this evening from a Mr Sedgemoor.’
‘Harry!’ Mary swallowed hard. ‘We were supposed to be coming to see you together! He didn’t tell me he was going tonight.’
‘He’ll be down shortly, so we can discuss things together.’ Father Murphy sat back and stretched his legs out. ‘I came early because I wanted to have a talk to you on your own. Why haven’t you been to confession, Mary?’
‘But I have, Father!’ Mary couldn’t meet his eyes. ‘I went to the Holy Name because I was too ashamed to come to you or Father Younger.’
‘Oh, Mary, you poor child! You aren’t the first person to have committed a sin, and you certainly won’t be the last. We human beings are fallible, and we’re all sinners. But the good Lord forgives those who repent. Surely you haven’t forgotten all the things you were taught, Ma
ry?’
His softly spoken words were seeping through to Mary’s troubled mind, easing the shame and guilt she’d carried with her for so long. Slowly the tension in her body started to unwind, and she was able to face him as he leaned forward to rest his elbows on his knees. ‘Mr Sedgemoor tells me you want to get married and he wants to become a Catholic. What I want to know is, does he really want to become a convert or is he only doing it to please you, so you can be married in the church? If that is his only reason, and he doesn’t intend to become a practising Catholic, then I can’t agree to giving him instruction.’
‘I can’t speak for Harry, Father! You’d best ask him yourself. He’s a good man and he won’t lie to you.’
‘No, I don’t think he would.’ The sound of the letter box rattling brought a smile to his face. ‘It’s himself here now! Let’s find out what he’s got to say.’
Chapter Eighteen
‘Yer’ve had a busy week, what with one thing and another, ’aven’t yer, kid?’ Eileen was hanging on to Mary’s arm, puffing as she tried to keep up with the younger girl’s pace. ‘I bet yer glad it’s over.’
‘You’re not joking! But it’s been a load off my mind, and I’ve got Harry to thank for it! I was terrified of seeing Father Murphy and Doctor Greenfield but he saw them both with me, and it’s a relief.’
‘I know about Father Murphy ’cos Harry told me. He went for instruction yesterday, didn’t he?’
Mary nodded. ‘Father Murphy knows we want to get married soon, and he’s promised to give Harry instruction two or three times a week so we can be married at the altar. He read the banns out for the first time yesterday.’
‘I know … me mam heard them! The whole neighbourhood will know by now.’ Eileen shook with laughter. ‘Except the Proddy dogs.’
‘Yeah! Thank goodness Elsie Smith isn’t a Catholic.’
‘Oh, she’ll find out, don’t worry! The Germans don’t know what they’re missing with Elsie Smith … she’d make a bloody good spy!’
‘Doctor Greenfield was giving me a lecture about getting married for all the wrong reasons, but when I told him me mam was over the moon he was all right about it. And I think Harry made a good impression on him.’ Mary stifled a yawn. ‘I’m dead tired! When I’ve had something to eat I’m going to try and put me feet up for an hour before I go to the hospital.’
