‘Really, Jack, where are your manners?’ Susannah snapped, and for once Amy agreed with her.
Of course Susannah insisted on sitting beside Jimmy in the buggy, and Amy had to ride next to her father on the front seat while her brothers went in on horseback ahead of them. She found it disconcerting to be directly in front of Jimmy, not knowing if he was looking at her, and unable to turn and look at him. When she tried to peep around, all she could see was Susannah’s face turned towards Jimmy. Amy found the hour very long.
They arrived at church barely in time to take their seats. To her delight Amy found herself sitting beside Jimmy, who had Susannah on his left hand. It felt wonderful to be sitting next to this man who so obviously outshone all others there. Amy had trouble concentrating on the service, and felt guilty when she realised it was nearly over and she could not remember a word of the sermon. She was aware of Lizzie in her pew a few rows behind, craning her neck to catch a glimpse of Jimmy whenever they rose to sing.
After the final hymn was sung the congregation spilled out of the church, and Lizzie rushed to Amy’s side, soon followed by her parents and most of the neighbours. Jimmy had to be introduced to them all, with Susannah proudly taking that role.
‘This is my brother James, yes, down from Auckland for the summer… yes, that’s right, he works at our father’s firm.’ She kept a proprietorial grip on Jimmy’s arm as she repeated her speech. Amy had to admit they looked well together. Susannah was no beauty, but she was tall and carried herself admirably, and Jimmy was several inches taller than her. In her green flowered silk, Susannah outshone the women in style almost as much Jimmy did the men. Jimmy made a better partner for her than Jack, who was now nearly fifty and quite portly.
Amy and Lizzie went a little aside from the main group to talk.
‘What do you think?’ Amy asked eagerly. ‘Isn’t he just so elegant? And such manners.’
Lizzie gave Jimmy a keen stare. ‘He certainly dresses well. And he’s very tall, and he’s got a friendly smile. His eyes are a bit close together, though.’
‘Lizzie!’ Amy said, irritated that Lizzie could dare feel anything negative towards Jimmy. ‘What a silly thing to say! You’ll be saying his trousers are too tight next. His eyes are as far apart as anyone else’s, I’m quite sure.’
‘Well,’ Lizzie said, ‘I’ve always heard people with their eyes too close together aren’t all that trustworthy. But maybe that’s not true. And you’re right, he does look very smart. There’s nothing wrong with his trousers. What’s he like?’
‘Just wonderful.’
Lizzie looked at her doubtfully. ‘Is he any good on the farm?’
‘Oh, yes,’ said Amy. ‘Well, he’s not really used to it yet… well, I suppose he finds it all a bit strange after life in the city, and he’s not used to heavy work.’
‘Hmm,’ said Lizzie. ‘And what does he do in Auckland?’
‘Works with his father.’
‘Yes, but doing what?’
‘Oh, I don’t know, something to do with building things, I think.’
‘And what prospects does he have?’
‘Prospects?’
‘Yes—you know, does he have a house, what’s his income, will he inherit the business?’
Amy realised she had done a good deal more telling than asking in her conversations with Jimmy, and had very little idea just what he did. Her guilty awareness made her answer sharply.
‘Honestly, Lizzie, he’s not a prize bull I’m thinking of buying! I haven’t asked him all those personal questions.’
‘Well, it doesn’t hurt to know these things,’ Lizzie said, rather primly Amy thought. She wondered if Lizzie was perhaps a little jealous of Amy’s sophisticated house guest, though it seemed unlikely. She and Lizzie had never been jealous of each other before.
Anyway, he isn’t really my visitor, it’s Susannah he’s come to see.
But over the next few days Jimmy continued to seek out opportunities to spend time with her. Most days he somehow contrived to cross her path when they were both alone, especially when she was working away from the house. Early morning was the best time for these meetings, when the men were milking and Susannah was not yet up. By now it was accepted that Jimmy just couldn’t seem to get up in time for the morning milking; Jack had teased him about it, but good-naturedly. On one of these occasions Amy plucked up her courage to ask him what he did in Auckland.
‘Just a boring desk job in Father’s building firm, I’m afraid. I’m called assistant manager, but it just means when my father says jump, I jump.’ He smiled ruefully. ‘Actually, I had a bit of a spat with the old man—over nothing in particular, really, but that’s the main reason I’ve come down here for a while.’
Amy immediately pictured a bad-tempered and unreasonable man who did not appreciate his son. Susannah must take after her father, at least in being hard to please. But she was, nevertheless, grateful to the ‘old man’, as Jimmy called him, for inadvertently sending Jimmy to her. She did not feel able to question him about his prospects. It was enough just to have his company.
When the following Friday came around, Amy was startled to realise she had only known Jimmy for one week. It already seemed like much longer. Jimmy joined her again for her butter making, and afterwards they breakfasted together. She was about to suggest a walk to the northern end of the farm, where he had not yet been, when Susannah surprised them both by appearing much earlier than normal. She gave Amy a sharp look when she found the two of them chatting away happily.
‘Perhaps you wouldn’t mind spending a little time with me this morning, James?’ She sounded hurt. Jimmy tried to hide a sigh, and smiled at his sister by way of reply.
‘Good,’ she said. ‘Bring your tea out onto the verandah, and we can sit together for a while. I won’t keep you too long.’ Jimmy followed her out, with only time for a brief glance at Amy, but she thought he shaped the word ‘Later’ to her as he left.
Later will have to look after itself. She wondered if she would get the chance to talk to him again that morning. Well, she had plenty to keep herself busy with. It was time to shake out the rugs again, for one thing.
After clearing away the breakfast things Amy went through to the parlour, intending to start on the rugs there. She noticed that the door out to the verandah was slightly ajar; if she listened carefully she would be able to hear Susannah and Jimmy. She knew she should leave the room straight away so as not to overhear their conversation; instead she crept closer to the door and pressed her back against the wall, standing very still.
‘I do wish you wouldn’t keep wandering off without telling me where you’re going, James,’ Susannah said in an injured tone. ‘It’s such a long time since I’ve had anyone to talk to. I’ve missed you especially. I’ve been so looking forward to having you come, and now you seem to be hanging around with that girl all the time.’ ‘That girl’ indeed! ‘I didn’t know you were so fond of children,’ Susannah added, rubbing salt in the wound.
‘Hardly a child, Susannah,’ said Jimmy. ‘Quite a young lady, I would have said.’
‘She’s still in pinafores,’ Susannah said dismissively. Amy looked down at her clothes in dismay. She did still wear little-girl dresses that only came to her calves, with a white pinafore over the top to keep them clean.
‘Yes, and filling them out delightfully,’ Jimmy retorted.
‘James,’ Susannah said sharply. ‘These country girls are very bold and forward, and Amy probably seems older to you than she is. But it’s just rudeness masquerading as maturity—she really is just a child.’ There was a moment’s silence while Susannah let her words sink in. ‘And a vexing child, at that. Now don’t be tiresome, James. You’ve no idea what my life is here.’ Amy could imagine the tears forming in Susannah’s eyes to go with the slight catch in her voice. ‘No culture, no society. Just mud in the winter and dust in summer, and drudgery all the year round. I did so hope you’d help me take my mind off things for a while.’
Amy heard sudden steps on the verandah and had a moment of panic, thinking one of them might burst through the door and catch her listening. But it was only Jimmy crossing to Susannah’s chair.
‘Of course I’ll keep you company whenever you want,’ he said in a much softer voice. ‘And you’re quite right, I’ve been neglecting you shamefully. It must be lonely for you here. I’m afraid I’ve been very selfish—enjoying all the fresh air and sunshine, and forgetting about you stuck here by yourself with no one to talk to. I tell you what, why don’t you and I go for a nice walk after supper when the heat goes off, and I can tell you about the ball I went to at the Fowler’s in September. Would you like that?’
‘Oh, yes, darling. And you must tell me absolutely everything about it, who was there and what they all wore. But tell me, is Catherine Fowler still walking out with that army officer?’
Their conversation became full of names that meant nothing to Amy. She slipped away to sit by herself in her bedroom.
‘Eavesdroppers never hear any good of themselves,’ her granny had always told her, and had reinforced the lesson with a strapping when she had once caught Amy listening at a door. Well, she had learned the lesson all over again today. So she was being bold and forward, it seemed. Jimmy had not argued with Susannah about that; in fact he had fallen over himself to be nice to her.
She would have to be more reserved with Jimmy. She would hate him to think she was pushing herself on him when she wasn’t wanted. A sad face looked back at her from the mirror. It wasn’t going to be easy.
14
December 1883
Amy barely spoke to Jimmy the rest of that day. She was busy with her own work in the house, while he helped around the farm, spending most of the day outside. He glanced at her from time to time during lunch and dinner, apparently noticing her silence, but she avoided his eyes.
Susannah spoke enough to cover any lack of words on Amy’s part. As soon as dinner was over she and Jimmy set off for the promised walk. Just as he reached the kitchen door, Jimmy turned and looked across the room at Amy with a questioning gaze. She dropped her eyes quickly and stared in apparent fascination at the dirty dishes she was stacking until she heard the door close.
Jimmy came out when Amy was alone in the kitchen on Saturday morning. She made a show of busyness as she prepared breakfast. ‘Can I help you with anything?’ he asked.
‘No, thank you,’ Amy said shortly. ‘I’ll get it done faster by myself.’
‘Oh. Well, if I’m in your way I’d better leave you alone.’ He sounded hurt, and Amy turned to apologise, but he was out the door before she had the chance to say anything.
I hope I’m not being rude now, she fretted. It was so hard to know what was the right way to behave. Still, at least no one could accuse her of being ‘forward’.
Amy again sat at Jimmy’s right hand at church that Sunday; it would be too obvious a snub if she avoided sitting beside him. She was also very aware of Lizzie watching them, and she didn’t want to have to answer a lot of silly questions about whether she and Jimmy had ‘fallen out’. Besides, she had to admit to herself that she enjoyed sitting next to Jimmy, even if she couldn’t talk to him anymore.
After church she stood at a small distance from the circle around Jack, Susannah and Jimmy. She smiled as she watched Lizzie walk with Frank to the horse paddock, then Lizzie walked up to her grinning broadly.
‘Did you see the way Frank waited for me?’ Lizzie said. ‘He takes it for granted now that I’ll walk over there with him.’ She turned and waved to Frank as he rode off.
‘Mmm,’ said Amy. ‘Have you been for any more romantic walks down to the pig sty?’
‘I’d hit you if it wasn’t Sunday—I might anyway.’ Lizzie gave the lie to her words by taking Amy’s arm as they strolled back towards their families. ‘How are you getting on with Jimmy?’
‘Just fine,’ Amy said in what she hoped was a casual manner. ‘He’s a very pleasant person to have around.’
‘Oh. I thought you were a bit keen on him.’
‘Of course I’m not! We’re just friendly, that’s all. I’m not very interested in men, you know that.’
‘That’s all right, then. I don’t want you getting keen on someone from the city.’ Having dismissed Jimmy, she went on. ‘Hey, what do you think I should wear to the Christmas do? Ma’s helping me make a new dress, but I don’t know whether to save it for the hay dance or not. What do you think?’
I’m not keen on him—not like Lizzie means, anyway. I just enjoy talking to him, and he’s nice to me. That’s all.
‘Amy? Are you listening to me?’
‘What?’ Amy said, startled out of her thoughts.
‘Should I wear the new dress or not?’
‘Oh. What new dress?’
‘You’re not taking the least bit of notice of me, are you? Aren’t you interested?’
‘I’m sorry, Lizzie, I was thinking about something else for a minute. Tell me again? Please?’
Lizzie did not need much persuading, and the girls were soon too deep in discussing the pros and cons of Lizzie’s new dress for Lizzie to wonder about Amy’s lapse of attention.
*
Jimmy slept in even later than usual the next day, and the men had come back from milking before he appeared. That’s good, Amy told herself. I won’t have to worry about whether I’m being rude or forward or anything. But the kitchen seemed lonely rather than peaceful without Jimmy to laugh and joke with.
Amy was filling the copper for the weekly wash, lost in her thoughts as she tipped in a bucketful of water, when Jimmy spoke behind her.
‘Amy?’
‘Oh! You made me jump—I nearly dropped the bucket.’
‘I’m sorry. Put that bucket down for a minute, I want to talk to you.’ He took the bucket out of her hand as she made no move to obey him. ‘Have you been avoiding me?’
‘Of course I haven’t. I’m just busy all the time, that’s all. Give me back my bucket, please.’
‘No.’
‘Please, Jimmy. I’ve got to get this washing started, there’s an awful lot of it.’
‘Even more now I’m here. I’ll carry the bucket for you, then you’ll have to talk to me. Where do you get the water from?’
Amy led him over to the rainwater tank, but she said nothing as he filled the bucket, carried it back and emptied it into the copper. Jimmy stood back from the tubs, put the bucket on the ground and studied her. ‘What’s wrong, Amy? Have I upset you? I can’t make it up to you if I don’t know what I’ve done.’
‘You haven’t done anything, it’s just… well, I don’t want to take up all your time. It’s Susannah you’ve really come to see, not me. Anyway, I don’t want you to think…’ She trailed off into an awkward silence.
‘Don’t want me to think what?’ Amy stared at the ground. ‘Come on, Amy, you have to tell me. What don’t you want me to think?’ He put his hands on her shoulders, and she reluctantly tilted her face up to look at his.
‘I don’t want you to think I’m forward,’ she said in a voice little above a whisper. ‘But I don’t really know what that means.’ She felt tears pricking at her eyes. She twisted out of Jimmy’s hands and turned away from him.
There was a moment’s silence. ‘Susannah’s been talking to you, hasn’t she?’ said Jimmy. ‘That’s what’s brought this on.’
‘No, she hasn’t—honestly she hasn’t. But I’m sure there’s lots of things you’d like to be doing, you’d better go now.’
She kept her face turned away until she was sure he had gone. A little later she heard a horse whinnying, and she looked up to see Jimmy riding off down the road. Amy wondered where he was going, but Susannah joined her at the tubs soon afterwards with Thomas at her heels, and after that the washing took all Amy’s attention.
*
Amy rose early for her Tuesday morning butter making. She made breakfast and left the bacon and eggs to keep warm, then went out to the dairy. S
omething told her she would have it to herself that morning. It seemed terribly quiet in the cool room, despite the noise of the churn turning over and over.
When she got back to the house she saw that Jimmy’s boots had disappeared from the porch. He must be with her father and brothers somewhere on the farm; he was, after all, meant to be earning his keep.
There were four dirty plates on the table to show where the men had been. Amy ate her own breakfast alone, then went to change her buttermilk-splashed pinafore for a fresh one before starting on the ironing.
She stepped into her bedroom and immediately felt something was strange. Looking about for the reason, she saw a length of velvet ribbon in a rich, deep shade of blue coiled on her pillow. She rushed across to her bed and picked up the beautiful thing, then ran it through her fingers, feeling its softness. That’s what he went to town for! To buy me a present. He doesn’t think I’m forward at all—he likes me! She rubbed the ribbon against her cheek, then quickly pulled it away before any of the tears she could feel spilling out of her eyes could fall on it.
Amy spent the rest of that day alternately basking in the warm glow of Jimmy’s kindness and fretting over how she could show she appreciated it. It would be too much of a risk to wear the velvet ribbon when she and Susannah were going to spend the whole day ironing, flung together more closely than on any other day of the week. But she saw Jimmy look at her when the men came home for lunch, and the disappointment in his face sent a pang through her.
By the time dinner was ready she decided she would have to hazard Susannah’s sharp eyes, and she slipped off to her room to tie the ribbon around her hair. They had barely sat down to the table when Susannah glanced at Amy and said with a slight frown, ‘Where did you get that ribbon, Amy? I don’t remember seeing it before.’
‘It was a present,’ Amy said, hoping that would be enough to satisfy Susannah’s curiosity.
‘A present? Who from? Oh, that girl, I suppose.’ Susannah’s lips compressed into a disapproving line. ‘It’s a little fancy for the dinner table,’ she added, but said no more on the subject.
Sentence of Marriage Page 18
