‘Just for a minute. Come on.’ He took her hand and tugged. She went with him around the hill to where a small grove of trees sheltered them from prying eyes.
‘I can’t stay long,’ said Amy.
‘Neither can I. Let’s not waste time.’ He put his arms around her, and Amy raised her face willingly for a kiss. ‘I love you, Amy,’ he whispered as his mouth came down on hers.
‘I love you, too,’ she said when he released her mouth.
Jimmy stared at her with a yearning expression. ‘You are so beautiful.’ He kissed her again, more passionately this time, and Amy felt herself responding. She slid her arms around his waist and pressed her body hard against his.
She became aware that her breasts were rubbing against his chest and that the contact gave her pleasure. She wriggled a little, enjoying the feeling. Is this wicked? I wouldn’t let him touch me like this, and now I’m sort of doing it myself. But it’s just a cuddle—surely that can’t be too bad?
Jimmy gave a low moan. He lifted his mouth from hers and whispered her name raggedly. ‘Amy, Amy. I want you so much. I want to be with you forever. Amy!’ He kissed her almost roughly, and for a moment he held her so tight that Amy could hardly breathe. Then his grip slackened enough for him to slip a hand between their bodies. Amy found one of her breasts being very gently caressed.
For a moment she went rigid, then she relaxed into his arms. He was being so gentle, and he loved her. Maybe it was all right to do this? Even if it wasn’t, she didn’t want him to stop. She felt a stab of disappointment when he dropped his arms.
‘I’ve done it again, Amy.’ He gave her a rueful smile. ‘I’m not very good at controlling myself around you. Are you going to send me away? You can if you want—I’ll go if you say the word.’ His eyes pleaded with her for forgiveness.
‘No! I don’t want you to go—I don’t want you to ever go away.’ She flung her arms around him.
‘And you forgive me for doing that?’
Amy hid her face against his chest and nodded. ‘I don’t think it’s such a terrible thing to have done,’ she whispered. ‘Not bad enough for me to send you away for, anyway. But you shouldn’t do it again.’
‘I’ll try,’ he said. ‘I’ll try really hard.’
17
February 1884
When Amy got out of bed on the eighth of February, the first thing she did was put a cross through the ‘7’ on her calendar. She looked with satisfaction at the red-circled ‘8’: the day of the hay dance had arrived.
Despite all the activities of her day, the hours until dinner seemed to drag. Although the dance wasn’t to start till seven, Amy looked at the clock many times as she helped Susannah prepare and serve the evening meal, and she was too excited to do much more than toy with her food.
Lizzie and Bill arrived soon after dinner, Lizzie carrying her new dress wrapped in paper, and the girls went off into Amy’s room to help one another get ready. Amy pulled the silk gown from her wardrobe with a flourish.
‘What do you think of it?’ She had the pleasure of seeing Lizzie’s eyes grow wide in surprise.
‘That is just gorgeous,’ Lizzie breathed. ‘However did you talk Aunt Susannah into letting you have a dress like that?’
‘I didn’t talk her into anything—she decided it all, what material to use and how the dress was going to look. Susannah really does have good taste, you know.’
‘Mmm. No one could argue with that. Let’s get ready, those boys will start complaining if we take more than five minutes.’
They took a good deal longer than five minutes by the time they had put on their new dresses and then fussed over each other’s hair. Lizzie’s dress was of pale pink silk covered in tiny flowers of a deeper pink, with white cuffs and collar and a wide white sash. Her fair hair and pink cheeks completed the picture of a rosy girl just crossing into young womanhood.
‘Have you got anything for your hair that would go with the dress?’ Lizzie asked.
‘Yes!’ Amy pulled her beautiful blue velvet ribbon from its place in the drawer, and Lizzie tied it around Amy’s dark curls.
‘That’s just right,’ Lizzie said. ‘When did you get it?’
Amy was silent for a moment, then she decided to share the small secret. ‘Jimmy gave it to me.’
‘He’s giving you presents, is he? What does that mean?’
‘It means we’re friends. Don’t pry. Do you think my dress is sitting right over the hips?’
That distracted Lizzie. When Amy’s dress had been tweaked and puffed out to their mutual satisfaction, Lizzie stepped back and gave Amy a long, admiring gaze. ‘Turn around,’ she ordered. Amy twirled on the spot, making the silk rustle. The dress fitted like a dream. Amy thought that no princess could ever have had a more beautiful gown. ‘Well, everyone’s certainly going to be looking at you tonight,’ said Lizzie.
‘Not Frank, Lizzie. He’s only interested in you.’ And I’m only interested in Jimmy.
‘It’s such a nuisance that his house is the other side of the school—I’d like him to walk me home. Fancy having to walk home with my brother.’ Lizzie gave an exaggerated sigh. ‘Ah well, I’ll just have to make the most of the time while we’re at the dance.’
‘I hope you’re not going to make a spectacle of yourself, Lizzie.’
‘What’s that supposed to mean? We’ll have more chance to talk than we usually get, that’s all. Do you think I’d let him kiss me in front of everyone?’
‘That’s all right, then.’ Amy gave a small giggle. ‘Just don’t get Frank too excited.’
‘Maybe I want him to get just a little bit excited,’ Lizzie said thoughtfully. ‘I don’t know why I’m talking about it with you, though, you’re much too young to understand.’
‘Oh, am I just?’ Amy retorted. ‘Maybe you don’t know everything, Elizabeth Leith.’ She regretted her small outburst at once.
Lizzie looked at her through narrowed eyes. ‘What are you talking about?’
‘Nothing. It was just a joke—I was sick of you showing off, that’s all.’
‘You sounded pretty serious to me. What’s going on, Amy? Have you got an understanding with Jimmy? You might have told me.’ She sounded hurt.
‘There’s nothing to tell. We’re friends, I’ve already told you that.’
‘You’re keen on him, you told me that, too. Has he been taking liberties with you?’
‘Liberties!’ Amy scoffed. ‘Don’t be so prim.’
‘I’m not prim—I’m careful, and you should be careful too. Has he proposed to you?’
‘Of course he hasn’t. We’ve only known each other for two months.’ He said he wanted to be with me forever. Amy smiled at the memory.
‘Amy, stop grinning like that and listen to me. I don’t want you to go and live in Auckland, but if Jimmy can provide for you and it’s what you want, well, I suppose that’s all right. I’d miss you, but you’ve always gone on about living in the city. But does he want to marry you or what?’
‘Don’t be so silly!’
‘It’s not silly.’ Lizzie took hold of Amy’s wrist. ‘Tell me the truth, now—have you let him kiss you?’
Amy thought of the caresses that had gone with the kisses, and felt herself blush at the thought of Lizzie’s reaction to being told about those. Maybe I shouldn’t have let him touch me like that. Guilt made her speak more sharply than she had intended. ‘What if I have? It’s none of your business.’
‘You mustn’t! Not until you know what his intentions are.’
Amy snatched her arm away. ‘Stop telling me what to do! You’re just jealous—jealous because I’ve got Jimmy and you’ve only got Frank.’ The moment the words were out Amy wished she had bitten her tongue.
Lizzie looked as if she had been struck. ‘I’m not jealous,’ she said very quietly. ‘I just care about you, that’s all.’ For a moment Amy thought her cousin might cry.
‘Lizzie, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that. It was a stupid thing to sa
y. I like Frank, you know I do—I just get a bit tired of you bossing me around.’
‘I don’t boss. I was trying to make you see sense. I’ll stop trying if that’s what you want.’
‘Yes, it is. Come on, let’s go or the boys will go without us.’
They walked out to the kitchen where the rest of the family were assembled. Jack’s eyebrows shot up when he saw them. ‘Well, look at you! You girls look like you’ve stepped out of a picture—look at them, Susannah, pink and blue and good enough to eat.’
‘You look very sweet together,’ Susannah agreed. She gave Amy an appraising look. ‘The frill isn’t sitting properly around the sleeves—here, let me.’ She fussed over the lace, then puffed out the overskirt. ‘That dress really does suit you, Amy.’
Jimmy said nothing in front of the others, but the admiration Amy saw in his eyes gave her a thrill of pleasure.
‘I’ve never seen you look like this, girl,’ Jack said, gazing at Amy. ‘You look like your ma—not that I could ever afford a fancy dress like that for her.’ He cleared his throat noisily. ‘You boys take care of her for me tonight—there’s plenty of you, she should be safe enough.’
‘Can we get going?’ said Harry. ‘The dance’ll be half over before we even get there at this rate.’
The girls loaded the young men with their share of the supper, then they donned their walking boots, carrying their dancing shoes in their hands as they set off from the back porch.
‘Now, if Amy gets tired one of you can bring her home—I don’t want her walking home by herself,’ Jack called from the doorway, much to Amy’s embarrassment.
‘I wish he wouldn’t talk as though I’m a baby—why should I get tired before anyone else?’ she complained to Lizzie, but her cousin was unusually quiet.
The sky was still a rich blue; sunset would not be for another half hour. Jimmy walked beside John until they were well out of sight of the house; Amy knew he was aware of her father standing on the porch watching them all. The impatient Harry, with Bill for company, was soon a short distance ahead of them, leaving Amy and Lizzie in the rear.
It was not in Lizzie’s nature to let herself or Amy be neglected, and she soon complained. ‘Hey, you boys are meant to be escorting us, you know—how about waiting for us instead of rushing off like that?’ Amy was relieved to hear Lizzie being bossy again; a quiet Lizzie was unnatural.
‘Can’t wait all night for you,’ said Harry, but Jimmy slowed for the girls to catch up, while John joined Harry and Bill.
‘You’re quite right—fancy ignoring two such lovely ladies,’ Jimmy said, flashing his infectious grin. Lizzie did not smile back at him, and Amy hoped she was not going to be difficult. Jimmy took his place on Amy’s right-hand side, just as Lizzie looped her arm through Amy’s. Lizzie’s familiar gesture of affection suddenly struck Amy as possessive, but she was relieved that her cousin seemed to have forgotten Amy’s earlier cruel words.
‘Will it be the same people who went to the Christmas party?’ Jimmy asked.
‘Some of them,’ said Amy. ‘Not so many old people, though.’
‘What about your charming neighbour?’ They were walking past Charlie’s farm as he spoke.
‘Humph,’ Lizzie said in disgust, abandoning her haughty silence for the moment. ‘He’d better not be. He wouldn’t dance or talk to anyone.’
‘There’ll be us, of course,’ Amy put in. ‘And maybe the Aitkens—they’ve got a lot of little ones, though, so they mightn’t be able to. Frank will be there—’
‘How could he bear to stay away?’ Jimmy said, again without raising an answering smile from Lizzie.
‘And some of the others from Orere Beach, and from further down Waituhi Beach, too. Maybe fifteen or twenty people altogether—it’s quite a big dance. Oh,’ she gave him a wistful smile, ‘I suppose that doesn’t seem very big to you at all.’
‘Well, I’ve been to bigger ones,’ he said. ‘But I’m sure I’ve never been to one with better company—or prettier girls.’ Lizzie gave a snort. She dropped Amy’s arm and caught up with their brothers.
‘What’s wrong with her?’ Jimmy asked quietly. ‘She hasn’t had a row with Frank, has she?’
‘Oh no, nothing like that. No, it’s sort of my fault—I said something horrible to her.’
‘You? I can’t imagine you saying anything horrible.’
‘Well, I did this time, I’m afraid. Lizzie doesn’t really approve of… you and me.’
‘What did you tell her about us?’ Jimmy asked quickly.
‘Nothing—I didn’t tell her anything. She guessed a bit, though.’
‘Hmm. Never mind, take no notice of her. I don’t think I’ve ever been to a dance in a school before.’
‘It’s the only place around here that’s big enough. Pa and the others built the school, so we get to use it for the dance.’ She sighed. ‘It’s going to be strange being there again.’
‘Why strange, sweetheart? It can’t be all that many years since you went to school.’
‘No. Not many at all.’ Amy was quiet for some time.
‘What are you thinking about, little one?’
‘The school. It makes me sad when I think about it. Jimmy, do you remember one day you asked me if I’d like to go to Auckland?’
He looked thoughtful. ‘Yes, I do. You said you used to think you’d go there, but you wouldn’t tell me about it. Will you tell me now?’
‘Yes. I don’t want to have secrets from you. I was learning to be a teacher for a little while.’ She glanced at him, worried that he might laugh at the idea, but he was staring at her in astonishment. ‘Why are you looking at me like that?’
‘You mean with all the work you do, you found time for a job?’
‘Well, I was pretty busy while I was doing it.’ She sighed. ‘Too busy, really. Pa made me stop, then when Susannah came Miss Evans—that’s the teacher—thought maybe I could start again.’
‘My sister didn’t agree, I gather.’
‘No.’ Amy was pleased at how steady her voice sounded. ‘Everyone seemed to think I was mad to even want to be a teacher. They all talked about old maids and things. Do you think it’s silly for me to want to do something?’
‘I think you’ll never stop surprising me. Trust you to be different from other women. And trust you to want to be useful. You’re certainly clever enough to be a teacher, I’m sure of that.’
‘You’re the only person except Miss Evans who’s ever understood! Oh, Jimmy, I do love you!’
‘Shh,’ he warned. ‘Save that till later—there’re too many ears about.’ Amy saw that Lizzie was indeed looking over her shoulder at them.
They rounded the last corner and saw that a few buggies had pulled up outside the schoolhouse and several horses were in the school’s grazing paddock. Frank was standing in the road; as soon as he saw Lizzie his face lit up. He hesitated for a moment, then walked over to join the Leiths. Lizzie at once manœuvred herself to Frank’s side, and they mounted the steps ahead of the others.
Amy hung up her cloak in the school porch. She put her boots at the end of a neat row that had formed, and replaced them with light kid shoes, far too impractical for outdoors.
‘Now I get to walk in with the prettiest girl in the room,’ Jimmy said, offering her his arm.
‘You haven’t seen them all yet,’ Amy laughed as she looped her own arm through his.
‘I don’t need to.’
The schoolroom looked very different from the last time Amy had seen it. All the desks and benches had been pushed against the walls, leaving a clear space for dancing, and the room was decorated with nikau and fern fronds. ‘Oh, isn’t it pretty?’ she said in delight.
‘Mmm. Very pastoral.’
Rachel Aitken saw Amy and rushed over to her. ‘Hello, Amy. Do you like the room? The children and I decorated it this afternoon.’
‘It’s lovely. Is your mother looking after your little ones tonight?’
Rachel gave a broad sm
ile. ‘Yes! This year I haven’t got a tiny baby, so I’m having a night out. It’ll be the first time Matt and I have danced for… oh, I don’t know, years and years—I hope we still remember how!’ She noticed the plate Jimmy was holding. ‘Let me take that, the supper table’s over there, but I’ve put a cloth over the food so you men can’t start on it too early. Thank you, Mr… Amy, I’m afraid I’ve forgotten your young man’s name. You’ll have to introduce me again.’
Amy was flustered at hearing Jimmy referred to as her young man, and before she had the chance to say anything Jimmy answered for himself. ‘I’m Jimmy—Jimmy Taylor. I remember you, Mrs Aitken, you’ve got that nice little girl—Bessie, isn’t that her name?’
‘That’s right, Bessie’s my oldest. Amy used to teach her at the school. Fancy you remembering her name. Well, I’d better finish setting out this food, I hope you enjoy yourself tonight.’ Rachel went over to the supper table.
‘That’s her husband, you met him at the Christmas party.’ Amy pointed to the tall, thickset Matt Aitken who was setting up a barrel of beer in one corner, beside a table loaded with empty mugs and bottles of lemonade. ‘That’s Bob Forster with him. Over there are the Jenners,’ she indicated a couple in their mid-twenties standing next to a man of about thirty, ‘they live east of the valley. I don’t know them very well, but that’s Dick Jenner and his sister Mabel. Dick’s talking to Sam Collins, they’re neighbours. And there’s Marion Forster, I wonder what they’ve done with their little ones. I don’t know that lady with her, though.’ She led Jimmy over to introduce him.
It took a moment to attract Mrs Forster’s attention. Marion was indulging in her favourite activity, talking excitedly while waving her arms around to emphasise her point. As her companion seemed as keen a talker, their small corner was by far the noisiest part of the room. Marion eventually paused for breath, glanced around and saw Amy.
‘Amy, how are you?’ As always, Marion’s mane of rich brown hair with its hint of red looked barely contained under her hat. She rushed on without giving Amy time to answer. ‘Rachel and I are the chaperones tonight—what a responsibility!’ she laughed. ‘Mrs Carr’s looking after my two wild creatures—she’ll be worn out tomorrow. Now, who’s this young man of yours—Bob, come over here and meet Amy’s young man,’ she called, and Bob wandered over from where he had been talking to Matt Aitken.
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