by Diane Lennox
Lazarus let out a strange, hollow chuckle. “I always thought you were more like father, but I think I’ve somehow cursed my beautiful twins with being too much like me. It’s that refusal to back down, that desire to know more than I should, that got me in trouble with Marius. Except while you use that charm of yours to trap me until I talk, I used my hand to trap him until he talked. And I fucked everything up by doing so.”
“How do you know you’ve messed everything up? Marius-khan is still willing to talk to us.”
“He’ll never look at me the same way now. I forced him to talk about things he didn’t want to talk about, just like how you’re doing with me.”
“The circumstances are different, father. Our relationships are very different. Are you trying to say you won’t ever look at me the same way now?”
“I already don’t,” Lazarus said.
Leander’s eyes widened.
“What? You said you’d accept the consequences. Having my usually sweet, caring son challenge me so defiantly is going to make me look at you differently.”
“But you still love me all the same,” Leander said and took his father’s hand in both of his own, squeezing it tightly.
“I’ll never stop loving you, but I’m not happy about this. I don’t like knowing that my son is going to make a mess of my family. Starting with me, apparently.”
“If I make a mess then I’ll fix it. I won’t stop until it’s fixed.”
Lazarus shook his head, though it looked like it was more of a gesture to himself and not at Leander. “Leave, Leander. I can’t deal with you anymore right now.”
Leander nodded and stood, not daring to push further today, he’d already gone further than he himself was probably comfortable going.
“I won’t apologize, father, for I don’t feel sorry for anything I’ve said or done, but I will say that I love you, more than you can possibly imagine.”
“I know,” Lazarus said, giving him one last intense look before going to the fire place and went about lighting it.
Leander took that as his final dismissal and left the room, shutting the door behind himself before he suddenly fell to his knees, his entire body bursting into a cold sweat, his limbs trembling.
“Gods, help me,” Leander whispered. He had no idea where that courage came from. Father or not, he was knowingly aggravating a hunter, which probably wasn’t the brightest idea ever. Still, he couldn’t seem to stop himself, couldn’t help the feeling deep inside of him that knew he had to dig and tear everything apart so he could know the truth.
It didn’t help that his father alluded to more secrets in their family, more things Leander had no idea of, and the thought both terrified him and excited him in ways he couldn’t describe. He wanted the Kanes to be united, no longer hiding away in their rooms with their darknesses and their secrets. And Leander knew, deep down, that the only way his family, and himself, was going to get stronger, is if he unearthed all the secrets and finally dealt with them.
~~~~~
After Pasha Scarlett’s little meltdown the four brothers made their way downstairs to go curl up on the couch and watch a little TV together. Pasha made sure to snuggle right up to Yuri this time, eager to take advantage of his older brother’s better mood that evening.
They got through a couple of episodes of a light little comedy drama show they enjoyed before Ezra turned it off and looked to them.
“I don’t really want to do this to you guys, not since we just had a rather serious conversation with Pasha, but unfortunately I have to have an answer by tomorrow so it can’t wait,” Ezra said.
“Answer to what?” Pasha asked.
“An answer for Evgeni, he’s returned home and Yves has put him in charge of coaching me. The problem is, I don’t trust the guy, and he’s all but admitted that I shouldn’t entirely trust him either, but I also believe he can help me grow significantly as an actor and actually figure out how to play Mordred,” Ezra said then sighed, running a hand over his dreadlocks. “But my other problem is that if I do let him help me and I do figure out Mordred, I have a feeling I’ll change as a person too, and I’m a little scared of what that will mean. I also want to ask Marius what he thinks, but I can phone him after.”
“You should invite him over now!” Pasha exclaimed, nearly bouncing off the couch. He really wanted to see Marius again. “Then we can all talk together!”
“I agree,” Alice said. “You should ask if he can come here for a little bit and discuss with us.”
“Right now? But it’s late!” Ezra said.
“So?” Yuri said with a shrug. “He doesn’t have to stay long, and talking in person is far better than talking over the phone.”
“Please, Ezra?” Pasha asked.
Ezra chuckled softly. “I didn’t realize you guys were quite that eager to see him again.”
“Of course we are,” Pasha said. “He’s gonna be your boyfriend at some point.”
At that Ezra’s entire face flushed, his dark skin not doing a good enough job of hiding all the redness. “I’m not sure if you should get your hopes up on that one.”
“Why not? Seriously, Ezra, why aren’t you asking him out? He’s fucking amazing,” Pasha said. If Marius was a decade younger Pasha himself would be trying to court him. He was talented, creative, kind, and incredibly hot. That icy demeanour of his made Pasha shiver in all the right ways.
“You were here when he said he wasn’t interested,” Ezra replied.
“So? He said himself that could change!”
“He only said that a little while ago.”
“But a lot has happened since then. You’ve slept over at his house.”
“That doesn’t mean he wants to court me,” Ezra said then stood. “Moving on, I’ll go phone and see if he wants to come over, be right back.”
“Fiiine,” Pasha replied and watched his brother head up the stairs before turning to Alice and Yuri. “Seriously, we need to get them together already.”
“I think Marius-khan might appreciate a slower pace,” Alice said. “Though I agree that they should get together, they would make a very good couple.”
“What do you think, Yuri?” Pasha asked, turning to look up at his older brother.
“I think my opinion of him has changed quite a bit since the night we met him. He’s a good man. But I agree with Alice, I think Marius might be the type who prefers to take things at his own speed.”
Pasha sighed. “You’re probably right. It would go with his Ice King persona – moving at a glacial pace.”
Yuri rolled his eyes and shoved at Pasha playfully. “That was so lame.”
“Fuck you, it was good!” Pasha said, grinning happily. It felt good to have Yuri tease him again.
“You seem to have your own little crush on Marius, Pasha,” Alice gently teased.
“I totally do,” Pasha admitted. “He’s so fucking hot.”
“Would you want to date a man like him?” Alice asked.
“Yeah, I think I would.”
“Interesting,” Alice said.
“Hey wait a minute, what are you thinking over there?” Pasha asked, giving his brother a suspicious look.
“Many things,” Alice said, winking back at Pasha.
“Don’t you try to compare Marius to Soren.”
“I wasn’t comparing, per say.”
“Ugh,” Pasha groaned and tossed one of the throw pillows at Alice. “Let me figure out Soren on my own.”
“I will,” Alice said more seriously and caught the flying pillow before it hit him in the face.
“Good.”
The basement door opened and all three brothers looked to the stairs as Ezra returned, phone in hand, though he was no longer talking on it.
“He’s agreed to come over,” Ezra said with a little smile.
“Yeah!” Pasha cheered excitedly. “We should make snacks!”
“Good idea,” Alice said and stood.
“He probably won’t be staying lon
g,” Ezra said, fidgeting with the cell phone in his hands.
“That’s alright, he might still appreciate a little fruit all the same,” Alice said and made his way upstairs.
“I’ll go help,” Yuri said and followed after him, leaving Pasha alone with Ezra.
“You look nervous,” Pasha said, chuckling at his brother’s fidgeting.
“Can’t help it. Last time he was over it was a disaster and I feel a little bad that he’s coming over just to discuss my problems.”
“I’m sure he’s happy to help, he has been so far,” Pasha said and patted the couch. “Sit down. Time for me to take care of you.”
Ezra gave Pasha a weak little smirk before sitting down beside him. “I’m sorry, by the way, that I need to do this tonight after everything you’ve already been through today.”
“It’s all good. We dealt with my stuff.”
“You’re sure?”
“Yes, very,” Pasha said then frowned a little. “I want you to know that I really won’t even consider courting Soren if I think he would be bad for me. I respect myself too much for that.”
Ezra nodded a little. “I know. I just can’t help but be protective of you.”
“Which I love,” Pasha said, his smile beginning to return. “It makes me feel special knowing all of you are worried about me.”
“Of course we are. We adore you, Pasha, more than I think you realize.”
“Probably,” Pasha agreed. His insecurities about the three of them being closer was always lurking, even if he usually didn’t believe it to be entirely true.
While they waited for Alice and Yuri to return they chatted about the show they were watching and when the brothers did return, plates of fruit in hand, they put back on their show to watch until Marius arrived.
They made it about halfway through another episode when Ezra’s phone buzzed.
“He’s here. You guys just wait here, I’ll be right back with him,” Ezra said then headed upstairs.
A few moments later he returned with Marius and closed the basement door behind them.
“Marius-khan!” Pasha greeted and ran up to his fellow faerie, unable to keep himself seated on the couch. “I’m so excited you’re back!”
“It is good to be back,” Marius replied with a little bow of his head.
Pasha positively beamed upon hearing the truthful words. “Come sit over here,” Pasha said, gesturing to one of the cozy armchairs. “Alice and Yuri cut up fruit for you.”
“Thank you,” Marius said, bowing his head to Alice and Yuri next before taking the seat Pasha gestured to.
“You’re welcome,” Alice said softly, his shyness getting the better of him now that Marius was there.
Ezra sat down as well, though this time on the other armchair instead of joining the other three Scarletts on the couch.
“So, um, yeah, I suppose I should tell you what’s going on,” Ezra started and Pasha hastily grabbed a piece of fruit to eat so he wouldn’t chuckle at his older brother’s nervousness. “Well you already know that Evgeni is supposed to tutor me, but after meeting him, I’m sorta torn about what to do.”
Marius nodded as he politely grabbed a piece of fruit to eat. “Go on.”
Pasha’s eyes followed Marius’ hand, captivated by his elegantly painted nails done up in black and silver. He wondered, for a moment, if Soren’s fingernails would look good painted black, and just as quickly banished the thought. He didn’t want to think about him right now.
“He said he can either turn me into the next lead or he can teach me to fake this role good enough to get by. But if I say no to his offer of turning me into the next lead, he probably won’t offer to help me again, and I know I won’t be getting another chance at a lead role for a long, long time if I mess this one up. Problem is, I don’t trust him, and I know he’ll be forcing me to open up just like you did, Marius,” Ezra said, looking to Marius. “And I don’t know how much I want him to know.”
“Do you think success is guaranteed with him?” Marius asked.
“Honestly? Yeah, I do. He seemed to almost change personalities as soon as we started to actually work. All of a sudden he was earnest and insightful and eager to help me. I also trust Yves, and I don’t think he would have asked his brother to help me if he didn’t think he would be successful at it.”
“What do you believe are the downsides of saying yes to him?” Marius asked next.
“Well,” Ezra started and ran his hand through his dreadlocks. “He’d know my secrets and he outright admitted he was a troublemaker and would likely make my life difficult. But he also said he was a little chaotic, not a devil, and I believe him when he says that. I don’t think he’s evil.”
Marius glanced over to Pasha and his brothers for a moment before turning his attention back to Ezra. “I understand why that would make you uncomfortable, but I don’t believe that’s the biggest reason as to why you’re hesitant in agreeing. He is offering to help you achieve a dream you hold very dear and with only a small price tag of being a pain in your side from time to time. What is really holding you back, Ezra?”
Pasha was sure all three of them on the couch were holding their breath, eager to hear the truth of the matter, which was often hard to get from Ezra.
Ezra let out a shuddering breath. “If I succeed, I know I’ll change. And if I change, I won’t be able to simply put up with a lot of things in my life anymore, and that’s going to cause a lot of fighting and chaos.”
“Rex-fahn,” Yuri whispered.
Ezra nodded. “I don’t know if I’m ready to go there.”
“I think we were ready years ago,” Pasha muttered and crossed his arms over his chest.
“I know,” Ezra said, hanging his head.
“Fuck,” Pasha swore and shook his head. “I didn’t mean that I’m disappointed with you, Ezra, just mad at him. We all get why you don’t want to fight with him. We don’t know how Lucifer-fahn or grandpa would react to you going against Rex-fahn, and we know you don’t want to hurt them.”
“Is your father truly that causing that much discord in your family, Ezra?” Marius asked.
Ezra nodded. “It seems small, the things he does, just little comments about how none of us are good enough most of the time. But it adds up. Years and years of little cuts that bleed us out and make us feel worthless. It makes it almost harder to fight against too because the things he says, they are small. If he just said something truly awful you could fight against it, but when it’s like this… You feel stupid for saying anything. You feel spoiled, ungrateful, and he tells you that too. Now, after years of this, I think we all have that voice in our head that says we’re worth nothing. And while I don’t want to admit it, I think deep down I really do believe that I’m worthless a lot of the time, because I’ve heard it so many times in so many different ways from a man I know I want validation from, even if I know it’s stupid.”
Pasha hung his head, not wanting anyone to see the tears gathering in his eyes for the second time that day. They all knew what Ezra said was the truth, but none of them had said it so bluntly before. He supposed none of them wanted to admit they felt worthless, not to each other.
“And you all feel this way?” Marius asked.
Pasha did look up now, wanting to make sure he wasn’t the only one nodding.
He wasn’t. They were all nodding.
“May I speak bluntly?” Marius asked, looking to Ezra again.
“Of course,” Ezra replied. “I asked you here so I could get your honest opinion.”
“Your love of your family and your desire to keep the peace is coming from a very good place, but in the long term, it is more damaging to everyone involved. If you confront your father, you will cause chaos, that is certain, but your grandfather’s reaction could go two ways. Either he will be resentful that you ruined the peace that he could have enjoyed until he passed away, or he could be grateful that you took on a fight he simply doesn’t have the heart for. You told me he l
ost his family once, it may be too difficult for him to cause something that could rip it apart again. Should he be resentful, then as much as you love him, perhaps it is best you broke apart from him, for you four have far too much potential to have it squandered. And should he be grateful, you may become closer to him than you ever have before. In my opinion, the better choice should be obvious, as difficult as it will be. And don’t forget, you won’t be alone. This isn’t just your fight, Ezra. You may be the leader here, but you have three very capable warriors at your side and an ally sitting right here, should you need me.”
“But I’m scared. I’m scared of fighting him and I’m scared of the man I’ll be when I get to the point where I’m not scared anymore. I won’t be me anymore, I’ll be someone else, and what if… what if everyone here hates the man I become. Nothing terrifies me more than losing the love of my brothers.”
Pasha watched as Yuri stood and made his way to Ezra, kneeling before him and taking his brother’s hands in his own.
“You don’t need to be scared of that, Ezra. We will always love you, and should you start becoming something we can’t love, I will challenge you once again, and this time for the right reasons. I know I haven’t been there for you like I should have been for the past few years, but I won’t make the same mistake twice. I’m here, Ezra, and for you, I’ll get stronger. Strong enough to stand up to you again if I have to,” Yuri said then looked back at Marius. “And hopefully I’ll have an ally, should I need him.”
Marius bowed his head. “I promise I will be here to set Ezra right should he ever get to that point, though I doubt he will.”
“And we don’t have to do everything all at once,” Alice said, his voice so soft it was barely audible. “Start with mastering your role, Ezra. We can make a plan of attack for home when the time comes.”
