But then Greg was back, a new drink in his hand. ‘How about a dance, Janine?’ He grabbed her arm.
‘Yeah, good on ya, Greg, just not today, okay?’ She pushed him away.
‘Aw, c’mon, I really feel like dancing. What about you then, Alice?’ Without waiting for her response, Greg grabbed Alice’s elbow in a vice-like grip and wrapped his arm around her waist. She pushed his chest with her free hand, but he only leered and laughed, blowing hot beer breath all over her face.
‘She doesn’t wanna dance with you, get it?’ Janine pulled Alice free. ‘She thinks you’re disgusting, same as I do!’
Suddenly Jeremy was beside them. Alice wished he’d stayed away.
‘Oi, look out!’ Greg slurred his words. ‘What’s Jerry gonna do?’
Alice took Jeremy’s arm. ‘Come on, let’s go back and sit down.’
But as they turned, Greg put himself in Jeremy’s way. Jeremy’s face was unreadable as he looked at his older brother. Gently, he pushed Alice aside.
Greg laughed and shoved Jeremy’s shoulder with the bottle in his hand. Jeremy tried again to walk past him. Greg’s smile disappeared and he swung a punch at Jeremy’s face. The younger man ducked easily.
‘Still know how to get out of the road, eh?’ Greg put down his bottle on the ground. ‘’Bout time I gave you a good flogging. It’s been too long.’ He swung another punch at Jeremy and missed a second time.
Sue hurried over. ‘What in the world is going on?’
‘Nothing to worry about, Mum.’ Jeremy smiled at her and once again went to walk around Greg. At that moment, Greg swung a third punch, which hit Jeremy hard on the side of the head. He staggered, but regained his balance in time to block yet another hit from the drunken man.
‘Go and sober up, you sad bastard.’ Jeremy spat the words at Greg.
‘Come on, Jeremy!’ Alice pulled insistently on his arm, but once again he moved her aside and spun to face the older man.
Greg jeered. ‘Now I get to beat the hell out of little Jerry, just like I used to.’
He swung hard and Jeremy stepped lightly aside. Then with one ruthless blow to the jaw, he flattened his eldest brother. Greg lay moaning on the gritty surface of the paving stones, his hands over his face.
‘I’ve grown a bit since then,’ Jeremy said. He wiped his hand on his shirt and went to stand beside Alice. Sue looked down at Greg and began to cry.
Brian, who had remained seated and watching from a distance, now stood up and came over to his wife. He put his arm around her and looked down at Greg with distaste. ‘Go and clean yourself up, boy.’ He glanced towards Jeremy, hostility written on his face.
‘What did I tell you, Sue? Didn’t I say that if he came here he’d ruin the day for all of us?’
‘Greg bloody deserved it,’ said Janine. ‘I would’ve given it to him worse than that!’
‘You stay out of it, you interfering cow!’ Brian glared at Janine.
Alice looked at Clinton, waiting for him to jump to his girlfriend’s defence. But the tall, strong young man did nothing, just sat looking exceedingly uncomfortable.
‘You ready to make tracks, Ali?’ Jeremy asked.
She nodded. Jeremy gave a half-hearted wave at his family and headed back into the house. Alice ran to Sue and grasped her hand. ‘Thanks for having me, Mrs O’Donnell. And I’m so sorry.’
‘You’re welcome any time, darling.’ Sue smiled sadly. ‘None of this is your fault. It’s been going on for years.’
They had intended to stay the night at the O’Donnells’ property and it was late in the day to be setting off for the long trip back to Redstone. They drove into the low afternoon sun, and neither of them spoke for the first few kilometres. A few things about Jeremy were suddenly beginning to make sense to Alice. No wonder he had no desire to be a father.
Then Jeremy looked across at Alice’s serious face. ‘Sorry about my family, Alice. Not much to be proud of, eh? They’re a bloody basket case.’ He shook his head. ‘I reckon you knew what you were on about when you said you wanted to stay at home by yourself.’
‘There’s no need for you to apologise, Jeremy. It’s not your fault. And they’re not all bad. It’s not as though my family’s perfect either.’ Alice smiled at Jeremy in commiseration.
‘Oh yeah. Too true. When you look at it like that . . .’ He smiled back at her, his blue eyes catching the rays of the setting sun.
Chapter 41
Valentine’s Day passed without a mention from Jeremy. That was one mistake he wasn’t going to make a third time. He went to bed early that night and lay awake wondering whether Alice had taken note of the date.
The last weeks of summer flew by in a busy blur, and Redstone was blessed with mild weather and regular rain. Then, in April, Jeremy had his wish: he was going on the bush run with only Alice. At last he’d be travelling alone in the national park with the mysterious goddess of the Brumby Spring and the rustling yellow box trees. Alone with this creature of earth and spirit, at a time when she’d shed her disguise as the quietly spoken girl that most people knew her by.
For the first time years, Jeremy was seriously nervous. Alice was such an enigma; would he blow this opportunity? He could feel that this year, the bush run was going to be a test and a turning point in their relationship. Alice was about to turn twenty-one. It was time to find out how she really felt about him. They couldn’t continue as they were; over the last year in particular they had done a lot of living together and their paths were well and truly merged. He’d yearned for this chance, but now that it had arrived, he felt a sudden uncertainty and a reluctance to lose what they already had. But the change was hurtling towards him at a frightening speed, a velocity which prevented his detection of whether the alteration was going to be for the better, or worse.
Once they were out on the bush run, though, the time passed in a happy haze of activity. The days were golden with filtered autumn sunlight, the air humming with the drone of late cicadas. The birds chattered and tiny scaled and furry creatures scurried away unseen at the sound of cattle moving in the bush. The cattle and the dogs seemed to feed off the harmony that existed between the pair of humans. It was a unity that was almost tangible as they rode along side by side in the scrubby wilderness. In this atmosphere even Carmen and Rose decided to bury the hatchet and were behaving almost like friends.
Each day this harmony seemed to expand, until it had drawn everything into its immense, interconnected web. The sky, trees, rocks, animals, birds and microscopic crawling things all became part of the one huge colourful tapestry.
In the evenings Jeremy and Alice spoke in low tones by the fire. Alice had brought along her old battered copy of Pride and Prejudice so that they could read the second half of it, picking up the story from where it had been left in hibernation since last year. As she commented to Jeremy one night, it seemed incredible that while Mr Darcy had been waiting patiently in that closed book for Lizzy to come around, her own ma, then pa, had left them for the next world.
The mob of cattle swelling each day was the only indication that the end of the run was approaching. To the man and woman it felt as though they had entered a timeless country. They were nomads, free to wander through it until the end of time, needing no further sustenance than that of their unique companionship. Jeremy found it so satisfying that he needed nothing more. He forgot his mission. Forgot that he was supposed to be seducing Alice.
And then suddenly the last night was upon them. Pride and Prejudice was finished, and Mr Darcy had won his girl.
Alice handed Jeremy a tin plate of rehydrated vegetables, pasta and salami, and he found that all at once, he wasn’t hungry. He put it down beside him and looked at Alice, who was pensively sipping her tea.
‘Do you reckon Darcy and Lizzy’ll live happily ever after?’ he asked.
Alice considered the question solemnly. ‘Yes, I think so. They found stimulation in each other’s minds and intelligence. They genuinely respected each other
and lived by the same high principles. They were truly a match made in heaven.’ She laughed.
‘Would you want a bloke like Darcy, Alice?’
‘Well, I think we might be in the wrong century. And the wrong country too, for that matter.’ Alice’s eyes twinkled in the firelight. ‘Imagine Mr Darcy striding around Redstone.’
But Jeremy was serious. ‘You know what I mean. A man with – what did ya call it? – high principles and morals. A gentleman.’ He wondered where this conversation would take them and asked himself what he was hoping to hear.
Alice sipped her tea thoughtfully before answering. ‘I would like to marry a gentlemanly man. Someone who truly respects others.’
‘Does it matter if this fella’s had a bit of a past?’ Jeremy was sitting up straight now. ‘You know what I mean, a bit rough around the edges, but trying his best to turn over a new leaf?’
‘I’ve always found it so unfair that some men seem to think they can do whatever they like when they’re young. Be as wild as they want and then, when they’ve had enough of all that, expect to marry someone really good.’ Alice was looking at him insistently but she clearly hadn’t realised he’d been referring to himself. ‘A man should have to earn a good wife, just as she has earned the right to a good husband.’
Jeremy looked away from Alice and into the fire. He felt as though he was falling. Alice had just described her ideal man, and he was well aware that he was at the other end of the scale. He felt furious at this upright little woman sitting opposite him. But even angrier with himself. So she didn’t want to marry him. She hadn’t even considered the idea of being with him. Why should that worry him? He wasn’t the marrying kind. How many times had he told her so?
Jeremy had admitted to himself long ago that he wanted Alice. But marriage? That was an entirely different ballgame. King Jed would always be free to do as he pleased and would never make himself a slave to that kind of old-fashioned commitment, least of all to someone like Alice. But now, for the first time since meeting her, he was considering the prospect of life without her. And it seemed unbearable.
And why did he feel so foiled, so betrayed? Alice had never encouraged his affection. With a sickening wave of horror, Jeremy suddenly realised that he didn’t just want this girl, he was deeply in love with her. Why did this have to occur to him now, at the same time as finding out that he’d never have her? And why did he, a bloke who never wasted a thought on tomorrow, have to realise tonight that all his vague visions of the future contained Alice? And Redstone?
Then she was speaking again. ‘What about you, Jeremy? Who’s your ideal woman? Brandi?’
Horrified, he realised she was serious. ‘That slut?’ His bitterness sounded in his answer and Alice looked startled. ‘She throws herself at anything male that moves.’
‘Jeremy, that’s hardly fair. You’re not in the habit of denying yourself of any opportunity to be with a woman either. Why is it so much worse in a girl?’
Jeremy couldn’t believe his ears. Alice was defending Brandi.
She went on, ‘Brandi worships the ground you walk on. What’s the difference between what you do and what she does, apart from your gender?’
Jeremy slammed his tin cup down on the ground and stood up. ‘Full of compliments tonight, aren’t ya?’
At his sharp tone Alice straightened up and looked at him in surprise. Jeremy glared at her. He wished he felt like shouting at her. Insulting her as he usually did when someone upset him. Exploding to let off some steam. But this was a different kind of hurt. And he respected her too much now. He stood there feeling the blood rushing through his brain. He felt dizzy and disoriented. He drew in a huge breath of air and sighed it out again.
‘So now I know what you think of me,’ he said quietly.
She blinked up at him and her eyes had the dazed look of a small owl startled from sleep. Disorientated. The curly wisps of soft hair framed her face like downy feathers. ‘Jeremy, I didn’t mean—’
But he cut her off. ‘If you think ya gonna find another bloke like your old pa, you’re dreaming. You’re a few bloody generations too late.’
‘So I’ve often thought.’ Alice’s voice was barely audible and she looked away from him and into the flames.
Jeremy spun around, knocking over his uneaten dinner, and retreated from the light of the fire. He clambered quickly into his swag and was hidden from view before the full weight of the realisation hit him. He felt strangely numb and lay still, afraid to move. His ever-persistent sense of humour tapped at the edge of his consciousness with a ridiculous thought. He now knew how Mr Darcy had felt: all the chicks he could have had, and the only bloody woman he wanted . . . Bitterness swallowed up the end of the thought, and any amusement fled, leaving him cold. Frozen to the bone, he curled up and wrapped his arms around himself.
He’d just started to drift into a miserable sleep when another chilling wave of awareness broke over him: he’d have to leave Redstone. As soon as possible – as soon as they got back from this surreal, idyllic bush run. The thought of going from Redstone back into the outside world filled Jeremy with terror. What had happened to him? He must have stayed too long. The place had got under his skin, permeated his soul, just like the girl. They were in league with each other.
He lay tensely, repositioning his internal compass. He now had to confront his hidden hopes. Secret plans that had been so deeply embedded that until now his conscious mind had been able to overlook their existence. All at once these dreams had been painfully exposed in a harsh bright light. Now he was forced to look at them and acknowledge them, before discarding them forever.
Alice had turned in for the night too. Wide awake and confused she listened alertly to the night; for what, she wasn’t sure. Her heart seemed to be beating in her ears, and her breathing was faster than usual. What on earth had Jeremy been getting at? Initially she’d believed that his interest in her was simply as a difficult conquest. She was well aware that ‘getting a virgin’ was a bigger notch on the belt for that type of man so she’d always remained out of reach to Jeremy. She was sure that if she’d ever given in to him, his interest would have died as soon as the novelty wore off. Purpose fulfilled. She’d always believed that she was so serious and straight in his eyes. A party dampener. Odd, in an interesting kind of way. He’d told her so himself, many times. As time passed though, she had recognised in him a deep insecurity and hurt, masked by humour and foolishness, and she had come to believe herself a trusted friend to him. He appeared to relax when he was with her, and seemed truly comfortable to be himself. Being quite alone in the world, he seemed able to draw strength from her, just as she did from him. This, she had believed, was why he had stayed by her through all those bleak months after the death of her grandparents.
But through all this, one aspect of his behaviour had appeared consistent; he was not interested in a serious relationship, with her or anyone. His continued weekend trips to town to see ‘the girls’, and his absence of comment on the most recent Valentine’s Day, had convinced Alice that he had ceased to view her as fair game. And she hoped he respected her more than that now, but only as a dear friend.
So why the wounded look in his eyes when she’d described her ideal husband? Why the crushed body language when he’d walked away to roll out his swag? Husband? Could he possibly think . . .? No, there had to be another explanation. Marriage couldn’t be further from the mind of any individual than that of King Jed’s. The rodeo clown. Legendary party man. Lovable bad boy. Not the ‘marrying kind’. He had told her so himself. How easily she could have loved him otherwise.
And for Alice, not quite twenty-one, marriage had only ever been a vague hope for the distant future. Marriage and children, with some mystery gentleman she’d not yet encountered. Jed O’Donnell just didn’t fit the picture. And she still felt so young, had so many things she needed to do first, so many more immediate claims on her attention.
Now she listened for Jeremy’s familiar slow breath
ing and intermittent snore. She’d always envied his ability to fall instantly into a deep peaceful sleep, regardless of the events or emotions of the day. She’d complained to him about it on several occasions. ‘Clear conscience,’ he’d said by way of explanation. But tonight he lay silently, and Alice realised that he must be lying awake too.
Quite a while later, Jeremy climbed quietly out of his swag and crept over to Alice’s side of the fire. He gently poked the coals and added a few sticks. The fire flared up and the flickering light illuminated the side of Alice’s sleeping face. He stood looking down at her. The fringe of lashes resting on the smooth curve of her cheek reminded him of a sleeping infant. He kneeled down and then lowered himself to lie beside her. He reached out and began to stroke her hair. She opened her eyes and turned to look at his face but the firelight was behind him. Her eyes searching for his face in the shadow reminded him of clear dark pools. There was no surprise or fear in those eyes.
‘What is it, Jeremy? Are you alright?’
‘I have to leave Redstone. As soon as we get back.’
‘I know.’
Alice moved over to make room and he drew closer. She threw the canvas of her swag over him. Lying together, they treasured each other’s warmth and precious companionship as something that would soon be lost. The fire quickly died down again and they both remained silent so neither of them knew that the other was crying. After a time, soothed by the shedding of tears and lulled by the crackling of the fire, they both fell into a deep sleep.
Chapter 42
After returning from the bush run, Jeremy stayed on for another three weeks, busying himself with checking and tidying-up work around the station. He made sure that all the machines were serviced, cut three hundred wood posts for fencing and welded up some spare gates. He also told Alice that before he left he needed to be sure she’d found a trustworthy replacement for him. ‘You might end up stuck out here with some sort of sleaze,’ he said in genuine concern.
Redstone Station Page 28
