by Jessa Eden
God, he had an answer for everything.
I tried another tactic. “It’s just easier, Beau, this way. I won’t get tired of you and you won’t get tired of me.”
His mouth fell open. “I can’t believe you’re saying this, Marla. You don’t mean it.”
I tried to grow indignant. “Please don’t tell me what I mean. You’ve got your hockey. Emma and I can’t go with you and it doesn’t make sense for us to stay together.”
“I don’t believe you,” he said, pushing me up against the window. “We belong together. I know we do.”
God, I couldn’t do this. Not to him. Not to me.
“You don’t understand, Beau. This is as good as it gets for me. You are moving on and I can’t move on with you.”
Confusion crossed his rugged features. “Wait. I don’t understand, Marla. I thought you loved me.”
God, he was killing me.
“Love has nothing to do with this,” I said dismissively. “We can’t be together anymore. It’s not working.”
He stared, floored by my heartless words. “No, this isn’t right. We belong together.”
“No, we don’t. Not anymore.”
“NO! I’m not leaving! You can’t mean it, Marla. I won’t give up on us!”
“Stop making this so damn difficult,” I spat out coldly, even as I died inside.
“I don’t get it,” he uttered, his face growing pale as he ran his hands through his hair.
“You don’t have to get it. We are OVER!” I yelled.
He backed up in stunned shock. I knew I had him on the ropes. I just had to push a little more to ruin everything between us.
“There is no us anymore. I don’t love you and I don’t want you anymore!” I shoved him hard toward the door.
A dumbfounded look filled with hurt, and horror rocked across his heartbroken face. “But you just told me this morning, that you lov—.”
“Things change,” I said, cutting him off. “You can’t believe everything you hear. You were wrong to trust me, Beau. Now, go get on that damn plane and get out of my face.”
“This is a mistake. You don’t mean i—“
“GET OUT! GET OUT!” I bellowed from the depths of my soul, my voice shaking. “Take your hockey shit and get out!”
My heart split open as I saw him break.
He really believed me.
Shaken, I tried to memorize every detail of his face, his slightly crooked teeth, the way his reddish brown hair glinted in the sun, his troubled eyes bewildered by my callous words. Everything.
Walking away as if I had whipped him with a belt, he picked up his bag, opened the flimsy door, and left without looking back.
I froze there, stone faced as the tears poured down my cheeks, trembling with shock that I’d actually been able to do it…to breakup with Beau.
I wanted to take it back, Oh God, what had I done…but it was too late, he was running…”Oh God, I am so sorry!” I shouted, but he continued to run and more of my heart cracked open, my eyes spilling over in a torrent of tears as a wrenching sob tore out of my throat.
I’d broken up with him, I really had.
There was no going back.
I had ruined everything.
I fell to my knees, unable to move under the shattering heartbreak ripping through me. I wretched hard, my stomach roiling over in nauseous pain as my heart fell out of my chest, stomped on by the brutality I was forced to commit.
I would never love anyone like that again.
I was forever branded.
*****
“Ms. Matthews?” A woman with a clipboard was turning in a circle calling out my name in the middle of the cavernous hallway.
I tried to focus on the present, the past replaying in my head at an alarming rate. Those old memories were still so powerful. I’m still not sure how I survived the break-up.
“That’s me,” I mumbled, trying to get the pain of the past to recede into the depths of my being.
“Come with me, please,” the plain woman said, motioning me down the hall as I was led to a conference room across the way.
A bald, middle-age man with a friendly face greeted me as I stepped inside the room. “Hello, I’m Jim McGovern.”
“Marla Matthews.” I reluctantly shook his hand.
“I’m sorry for the confusion, Ms. Matthews. There seems to have been a case of mistaken identity.”
“Yeah, I don’t think I believe that. But I’m willing to let it go if you’re dropping the investigation.
“Again, Ms. Matthews, you have my sincere apologies. Here’s my card if you run into any other issues.”
I took the card from him. “Uh-huh. I’ll keep that in mind.”
Beau has this guy in his pocket, like a piece of lint buried in a dryer vent.
Our meeting was short and sweet, and I felt relief as I left. The whole salon saga was over and I was glad Beau had backed off from shutting Casa Oschun down. He may have been cutthroat in his other businesses, but I knew he didn’t want to hurt innocent people.
My phone rang as I walked down the concrete steps of the courthouse.
“I’m here!” Charlie announced as I answered.
“You are? I thought you were coming in later tonight.”
“I got an earlier flight.”
I looked at my phone for the time. “I have to get back to the salon. Do you want to wait for me at the airport?”
“Nah. I already grabbed a cab and I’m headed home. I’ll meet you at the salon in a little while.”
“Oh, good. I have one more appointment and then we can go get dinner. We’ve got so much to talk about.”
“I know. I can’t wait to show you the five hundred pictures I took!”
I groaned out loud. “Five hundred? That will take all night.”
“You’re my mom and you’re just gonna have to suck it up. I’ve got fifty pictures of the train alone.”
I could only imagine what he wanted to show me. He’d always had a sense of the bizarre. “All right, I’ll suffer through for your sake. Can’t wait to see you, Charlie Brown!”
“You, too, Mom. I’m excited to see you.”
We hung up as I walked three blocks to my car. I headed back to the salon, excited my boy was home. I breezed through my appointment, a facial with a long time client. She was always willing to let me experiment on her and give me her true opinion on my latest concoction.
I handed her a small jar. “Here’s a soothing mask to try for your face. Let me know what you think. Remember to eat plenty of fruits and veggies and drink plenty of water. Those are the best beauty treatments.”
“I will.”
“Take care, Becky,” I said, giving her a hug.
I waved as she left the salon and made my way to the back, where I found Charlie standing in the hallway.
I ran toward him. “Oh, my boy! You’re home!” I gleefully greeted as I threw my arms around him.
“Hi, Mama!” he said, hugging me super hard.
“It’s so great to see you!” I gushed as I kissed him on the cheek a thousand times. I was so happy to see him, but he smelled like tuna fish and sweat. “Oh god, you stink.”
“Yeah, I know. I’ve been traveling non-stop for twenty hours.”
“I thought you were going to go home and shower.”
“I was, but I decided to drop off my stuff and come see you right away.”
My world suddenly felt right. “Well, go get in the shower in the back and we’ll go get some dinner.”
“Sounds good. Be out in a jiff.” He hustled down the hallway as I gathered cleaning supplies to sanitize the room I used.
My step was a little lighter as I put everything back in order. I just had a few last minute details to check on, and then Charlie and I could catch up. I wanted to talk to him about his father and figure out what he wanted to do.
“Marla, come out here, now!” I heard from the other end of the salon.
I stepped into the hall, w
ondering what the ruckus was all about as Beau suddenly appeared in front of me looking madder than a hornet’s nest that had been kicked.
“YOU!” he yelled at me.
Oh, crap.
He knew.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
Beau:
The day my life blew up, started out normal. The morning went smoothly as I went for a quick run, practiced some Jujitsu, dressed, and headed into the office.
I met with the general contractor for the Arsenal project and we settled on a bid for the painting. I had a couple of meetings regarding a few other deals I had in the works and a meeting was scheduled in the afternoon with the Gators administration team.
Everything was running on time and moving efficiently, just how I liked it.
I was just about to break for a late lunch when Donna called from the other room. “Mitch on line two,” she said as I glanced over yet another revised budget for the Arsenal.
“Just wanted to let you know I got the goods on Marla Matthews,” Mitch, my head of security, announced.
I stopped studying the budget. “Took you long enough.”
“I wanted to make sure and do a thorough analysis of her life.”
“Give it to me.”
“We’ve been tailing her for weeks, boss. There’s really nothing out of the ordinary to report. She’s a certified massage therapist and esthetician. She owns Casa Oschun with her sister, Emma Matthews. Marla even has her own line of products she sells. She seems like a talented lady. Anyway, she goes to her salon, her sister’s house, runs regular errands like to the grocery store and the dry cleaners. She’s an avid gardener, owns a house in West Baltimore, and has a kid.”
“A kid? She has a kid?”
“Yes. Charles, age twenty-two.”
My world stopped spinning as my stunned brain processed that information. Charles would have been born when I was nineteen. Right after Marla and I were hot and heavy. It was definitely possible he was mine.
“Charles? As in my grandfather’s name?” I asked, hoping I wasn’t right.
“One and the same. Another thing to consider...uh...is he has your first name. His full name is Charles Beau Matthews.”
“What?” I shouted into the phone.
“Sorry to tell you, boss, but it looks like you’ve got a kid.”
I hung up in a daze and started to pace the length of my office. Anger lit in my chest as betrayal coursed through my blood.
Was this really my kid?
My goddamn kid?
How could she do this to me?
How could she not tell me I had a son?
I had to do something. I couldn’t just sit in meetings the rest of the day and pretend this wasn’t happening. Blinded with rage, I marched down to the parking garage and found myself in my Bugatti Veyron driving a hundred miles an hour down the freeway.
I zoomed past every car, driving as if I was on the beltway at the Daytona 500. Marla hadn’t mentioned one word about being pregnant the last day I saw her. Not one goddamn word as she cut me out of her life.
I couldn’t believe she would do this to me.
This was low.
Even for her.
I hated that damn day she broke up with me.
My stomach twisted up in knots anytime I thought about it.
I blindly ran down the steps of Marla’s apartment and came to a dizzying stop as I stood in the rain, wondering if this is what heartbreak felt like. I was supposed to be on top of the world…but the one person that mattered to me had just walked out of my life. She had torn out my insides, leaving me clutching at my remains.
I started running again, trying to outrun the agony of losing her. I could hear her shouting my name, but I needed to get away from the pain…the pain of what she’d said... she didn’t love me anymore...she didn’t want to marry me...she didn’t want me.
Except, I’d been nothing but my best, when I had been with her. She made everything better, my mood, my hockey, my life…I’d ached when I’d been apart from her.
She had been such an anchor, the sunny spot in my life. I had been so comfortable and easy with her. I loved breathing her in...I loved...I loved...I loved her so fiercely, she was in every fiber of my being.
How was I going to live without her?
She had walked away.
Really walked away.
I staggered under the weight of that loss as I crumpled right there in the pouring rain, my soul shattering as grief filled my bones. I don’t know how long I stayed there on the sidewalk, but when I got up, I was hollowed out.
That night, as I wandered around the house like a zombie, my father reached out to me. He was surprisingly sympathetic, even kind as I stood with the refrigerator open, just staring at the food. My eyes filled with tears as I wondered how I would survive this.
“She stomped out my heart, Dad,” I admitted, too raw to hold back my emotion.
He patted my shoulder. “I know son. Women can be wicked. You're better off without her.”
“I just never thought she would...” I trailed off, too heartbroken to utter the words.
“You’re gonna get on that plane and move forward. Don’t let this girl crush you. You’ve learned a valuable lesson. Women can’t be trusted. Don’t sacrifice your dreams to be with that girl.”
“But dad, I love her.”
“You’ll be over her in no time.”
I nodded numbly, wondering how I was going to wake up in a world where I never saw Marla again.
It just about crippled me.
But the next day, I got on the plane without complaint and without a thought of staying home. I arrived in Toronto not caring what happened next, doing only what was expected of me.
I got off the freeway as I weaved in and out of traffic wildly, zipping through town. I whipped into the parking lot of Casa Oschun and skidded to a stop in front of the curb. I jumped out, ready for battle as the smell of burning rubber filled my nose.
Running at high speed with my heart pounding and my anger in overdrive, I slammed open the glass door and made my way inside. Wild-eyed, I made a beeline for the receptionist’s desk.
Over the sound of hair dryers, pop music, and chattering women I demanded, “I need to see Marla Matthews right now! Where is she?”
The thin receptionist stood up, looking rattled and scared. “Um...she’s with a client,” she tried to say firmly. “Can I give her a message?”
“No, you can’t.” Taking long strides, I breezed by the circular receptionist desk as I headed toward the back.
I banged on the first door I came to. “Marla, come out here, now!”
A woman with short blonde hair popped her head out. “She’s not in here and you’re disturbing our clients.”
“I don’t fucking care. Find her.”
“Sir, you’re gonna have to calm down or we’re going to have to call the police.”
“Yeah, tell them Beau Shepard says hello,” I said, glancing around as she shut the door.
I turned the other way, catching Marla walking down the hallway. “YOU!” I screamed, too upset to say anything else as I high tailed it over to her.
“Beau,” she whispered in horror. “You know, don’t you?”
I took three steps toward her, not sure what I would do.
I balled my hands into fists, trying to contain my rage. “You bitch! How could you do this to me?”
She backed up and put her hands out in surrender. “Hold up, Beau. I know you’re upset. But can we talk about this in my office?”
“Why? How many other secrets are you keeping from me?”
“I will tell you everything. Can we just please…” she trailed off as a young man with wet hair came barreling down the hall and stepped in front of Marla.
“Back away from my mom,” he growled fiercely. “Don’t you dare touch her!”
Unease descended as I took in his familiar face. He had Marla’s eyes and same dark hair.
Shit. This was definitely
her boy.
I pointed at Marla, as his eyes grew wide. “This is your mom?”
“Yeah, what of it?” he barked.
“Beau, I would like for you to meet your son,” Marla announced quietly from behind him.
“Are you joking, Mom?” Charlie asked, turning toward her.
“No, I—” she started to explain.
“Is this him?” I repeated again, trying to wrap my brain around this reality.
“What’s he talking about, Mom?”
She looked completely guilty. “Honey, I should have talked to you earlier and I planned to do it tonight when we went to dinner, but now I don’t have a choice. Charlie, I would like for you to meet Beau Shepard, your father.”
“What?” Charlie inhaled sharply, horror crossing his face.
“Yeah, I know how you feel kid. I just found out today,” I added.
“No way...no way this is happening right now,” Charlie denied, shaking his head. “I don’t even know what to say right now. This is so messed up. I'm out,” he said, racing by me.
“Wait, Charlie. Please don’t go!” she said as I watched him disappear down the hall.
She started to follow him, but I grabbed her arm. “Are you fuckin’ serious, Marla? He’s our kid?”
“Yeah, Beau. He’s our kid and your son.”
“What have you done, Marla? I just can’t…I just can’t believe you would do this to me! You are un-fuckin-believable!” I yelled.
Her dark eyes were full of remorse. “I’m sorry, Beau...I’m so sorry.”
“I don’t want to hear it,” I said numbly, turning to leave.
“Please don’t go, Beau! You don’t understand,” she sobbed.
Ignoring her plea, I ran toward the door as she wept.
Fuck her.
I was done.
###
Dear Awesome Reader,
Thank you for starting Marla and Beau’s wild journey! I hope you enjoyed it! If you did, please leave a review on Amazon, Smashwords, Apple, Goodreads, or Barnes and Noble. Much appreciated!
Marla and Beau have A LOT more story to tell. So don’t worry! Their HEA will be wrapped up in one more book entitled, Forever Beloved, out in July 2015.
I love to hear from readers, so please write me at [email protected], and share your thoughts! I always write back!
